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Last semester I had an enneagram 4 teacher for one of my classes and she was beloved by everyone, she was fun open minded, accepting and had great humor. She expressed that we were one of her favorite classes ever and all that but I never found the guts to speak in her class or go up to her to discuss something or ask a question. She even encouraged us and struck up conversations with other students but for some reason I felt very intimidated by her and could never manage to speak up.

Same with a 4 guy in one of my other classes although he was more of an understandable case. He was introverted and very opinionated. Didn't speak to many people and had a sort of punkish wayward look about him. Even after I found out he was very shy and careful with the people around him, I still found him very intimidating

I'm a 4 myself and while I don't feel threatening or anything I do get people occasionally telling me they're scared of me or whatever.

So I want to hear other people's opinions on this, are 4s actually intimidating or am I just scared of them?
 

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Last semester I had an enneagram 4 teacher for one of my classes and she was beloved by everyone, she was fun open minded, accepting and had great humor. She expressed that we were one of her favorite classes ever and all that but I never found the guts to speak in her class or go up to her to discuss something or ask a question. She even encouraged us and struck up conversations with other students but for some reason I felt very intimidated by her and could never manage to speak up.

Same with a 4 guy in one of my other classes although he was more of an understandable case. He was introverted and very opinionated. Didn't speak to many people and had a sort of punkish wayward look about him. Even after I found out he was very shy and careful with the people around him, I still found him very intimidating

I'm a 4 myself and while I don't feel threatening or anything I do get people occasionally telling me they're scared of me or whatever.

So I want to hear other people's opinions on this, are 4s actually intimidating or am I just scared of them?
My friend keeps saying I am -intense- -competent- and that I have a -strong personality- whatever that means , I assume the Fi but maybe it is the 4 as well and yes I would believe that. I think people get intimidated when you are selective, don't try to fit in and rather stand out and/or outspoken really.
 

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I'd say some are some aren't. I wouldn't say it's a defining feature for most. I'm a 4, and sometimes I feel intimidating (rarely) other times I feel the complete opposite. My friend, who is a very intimidating, abrasive, and sometimes rude person is a four. When I found out she was a four I almost refused to acknoldoege it!!!!
 

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I'd say some are some aren't. I wouldn't say it's a defining feature for most. I'm a 4, and sometimes I feel intimidating (rarely) other times I feel the complete opposite. My friend, who is a very intimidating, abrasive, and sometimes rude person is a four. When I found out she was a four I almost refused to acknoldoege it!!!!
well I don't feel I am intimidating at all, I am tough but I am very soft in the core. But I can see how some people feel about me, they see me rather strong especially because I put myself in situations not to ask for help and do things on my own, not to lean on anyone, I also find it difficult to trust people and some see me weak because I claim my emotions when they believe they should not let the world see it or because I am smiling wayy too much (apparently my friends in different layers see diferent personas as well, not that I try to be like that <.< ). Shrugs*
 

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There's an aura of intensity surrounding 4s that can be very off putting at first to some, especially those not as prone to introspection. Who would want to go that deeply inside themselves? Most people are scared of doing that so maybe 4s seem scary?

I dunno, just my two cents.
 

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Instinct has nothing to do with it. I had a teacher in high school who was a 4. A real one. She was the scariest teacher I ever had.

She wasn't "mean" or harsh or anything. She just had some kind of commanding presence to her. She worked in theater, which may have had something to do it. Everything was always said deliberately, for maximum effect. She had all kinds of emotional power to her. I still remember her vividly in my mind.
 

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Out of the three type 4 subtypes, SX4 'project' their suffering in an unpredictable manner that even intimidates the other 4s. Their self-identification with being more shameless allows them to be more overtly self-expressive, competitive, arrogant because they believe that are 'being themselves' whereas SP4s' suffering is self-contained (counter-envy) and SO4 is more likely to self-adjust to what is acceptable for the social context (shame). There's more of a volatile and reactive SX6-8ish feeling in SX4.

Therefore, SX 468s can be particularly intimidating because it is very likely they are counter-phobic, whereas a SO 469 is more likely to be phobic, self-doubting, and less "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?!" intimidating.
 

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I've had pleasant online interactions with people who have typed themselves as 4s on this forum. I try to avoid typing people in real life in case I start thinking of them as "4s" or any other type (including MBTI) instead of unique individuals. I've seen people who seem to do that with MBTI when I lurked on forums, and I hated how people blamed the conflict entirely on another person being this unfathomable and awful MBTI type. It seemed to indicate a lack of introspection or even enough honesty to admit that you just couldn't understand someone.

In real life, I'm not sure what 4 energy feels like to me. I would be a lot more intimidated by specific things a person said or did than the general vibe or energy level of a person. Some people can seem kind of tough or aggressive, but I try to avoid judging them for how they present themselves since they could also be very nice people in addition to seeming tough.
 

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i think it probably depends on the person, but if a 4's intensity is more palpable, then maybe? i've been told i can be intimidating and also aloof. i've also been told i am intense (by someone who knows me well.) i think for me, they sort of go hand in hand. being reserved, some people just don't quite know what to do with that...and if there is some sense of the intensity underneath, i can kind of see where it comes from (if they don't know you well/don't know you at all.)
 

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Beer Guardian
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ
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Sx 4s can be powerful enough to put an 8 in their place!

My, you're the complete withdrawal triad! How shy are you?
 

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Discussion Starter #12

My, you're the complete withdrawal triad! How shy are you?
Haha, yes I am. I'm very private and I do shy away from people because I just don't like socializing that much (I'm also SO last). I'm relatively confident though so I can gather the courage to interact with people if I need to. Overall what it does to me is make my reaction to anything "withdraw".
 

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Haha, yes I am. I'm very private and I do shy away from people because I just don't like socializing that much (I'm also SO last). I'm relatively confident though so I can gather the courage to interact with people if I need to. Overall what it does to me is make my reaction to anything "withdraw".

I'm pretty much: "withdraw-CHARGE!-withdraw (584). Give me a cause worth fighting for, and I'll step up. Usually when I feel as though either myself, or others, are being bullied.
 

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I think there's something about certain 4w5 and 5w4 that repulse others. Not neccesarily that they're disgusting. There's something cringe worthy and the vibe might be too depressing that pushes people away. There's something subconsciously telling others to keep distance and don't bother (avarice). Higher sx, especially with 4s, give the impression of seething hatred. Intimidating may or may not be the word for it.
 

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I think there's something about certain 4w5 and 5w4 that repulse others. Not neccesarily that they're disgusting. There's something cringe worthy and the vibe might be too depressing that pushes people away. There's something subconsciously telling others to keep distance and don't bother (avarice). Higher sx, especially with 4s, give the impression of seething hatred. Intimidating may or may not be the word for it.
A Sx 4 with an aggressive gut trifix (8 or 1) and/or 6/7 head fix, can be masterfully intimidating, sometimes to the point of going physical about it. The fully reactive sx4 (468) is a force to be reckoned with.


4-6-8 - The Hot Head

This type is characterize by their reactivity. The tend to initiate conflict and take offense easily. They me feel that everyone is out to get them.

468 - Inquisitive and direct 4. Most rebellious, reactive and direct 4, especially if sexual subtype.

The 458 is an active archetype...just more withdrawn...not passive like the librarian... more the expert as they gather knowledge but have a very definite point of view like the 478 and 468.

Other persistent tritypes are the 125, 145, 468. Aggression with tenacity or persistences makes one able to be relentless in their pursuits.

The 468 has the instinctual, emotional type in each center. And, there is a need to call off the truth of what is unspoken. I find the 468 to be very persistent... relentlessly so when seeking whatever ignites their passion
 

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Last semester I had an enneagram 4 teacher for one of my classes and she was beloved by everyone, she was fun open minded, accepting and had great humor. She expressed that we were one of her favorite classes ever and all that but I never found the guts to speak in her class or go up to her to discuss something or ask a question. She even encouraged us and struck up conversations with other students but for some reason I felt very intimidated by her and could never manage to speak up.

Same with a 4 guy in one of my other classes although he was more of an understandable case. He was introverted and very opinionated. Didn't speak to many people and had a sort of punkish wayward look about him. Even after I found out he was very shy and careful with the people around him, I still found him very intimidating

I'm a 4 myself and while I don't feel threatening or anything I do get people occasionally telling me they're scared of me or whatever.

So I want to hear other people's opinions on this, are 4s actually intimidating or am I just scared of them?
kind of OT but are you a 4w5 9w8 5w4 (my tritype!) or do you have a 9w1 in the middle? what is your instinctual variant? i'm sp/sx. sorry, i am pretty excited when i come across another INFP 4w5 9 5

but to answer your question, i have been called intimidating... i think it's because i can be so intense and inward looking; people don't quite know what i'm thinking. i'm also called 'sweet' by strangers tho, so
 

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I think there's something about certain 4w5 and 5w4 that repulse others. Not neccesarily that they're disgusting. There's something cringe worthy and the vibe might be too depressing that pushes people away. There's something subconsciously telling others to keep distance and don't bother (avarice). Higher sx, especially with 4s, give the impression of seething hatred. Intimidating may or may not be the word for it.
i think there's just something raw about us that can freak people out sometimes. like we can kind of be gaping wounds of people... there is something disruptive about our raw, inward, unsaid presences and creativity
 

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Discussion Starter #19
kind of OT but are you a 4w5 9w8 5w4 (my tritype!) or do you have a 9w1 in the middle? what is your instinctual variant? i'm sp/sx. sorry, i am pretty excited when i come across another INFP 4w5 9 5

but to answer your question, i have been called intimidating... i think it's because i can be so intense and inward looking; people don't quite know what i'm thinking. i'm also called 'sweet' by strangers tho, so
Hey, I don't exactly know what the wings of my tritype are, I honestly thought that the the tri type doesn't have wings as in tritype 495 and enneagram 4w5. My instinctual variants are sp/sx.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I think there's something about certain 4w5 and 5w4 that repulse others. Not neccesarily that they're disgusting. There's something cringe worthy and the vibe might be too depressing that pushes people away. There's something subconsciously telling others to keep distance and don't bother (avarice). Higher sx, especially with 4s, give the impression of seething hatred. Intimidating may or may not be the word for it.
I didn't find them repulsive at all, neither did I find them depressing (although I'm also a 4) I think it's just that they're not willing to compromise their personality or opinions for the sake of a smoother interaction. If they disagree they'll just outright tell you.
Granted I found them intimidating because one was an extrovert and the other was an INFJ, both of which radiate confidence even when they're not. I guess as an INFP I'd come off as threatening since I don't outwardly express emotion.
Another reason I found them intimidating was the emotional barrier they put up. I guess it's always a way of withdrawal or defense from their environment but they both put on a quiet "don't mess with me" vibe.
I've seen them both put their guard down when talking about emotional experiences and they both turned to marshmallows in my eyes. When they did that I found them very approachable.
 
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