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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are ENTP´s NOT friendly?

Reading about the ENTP in this forum I sometimes get the impression that we are coldhearted persons who keep our feelings locked down...??!? In fact I can probably understand why others might experience us like that.

On the other hand I cant immediately relate to such description. Reasons: 1) Most of time I have the impression that people find it easy to approach me. At least it seems that way when strangers without any (conscious) invitation seem to think I would like them to talk with me. 2) I do really feel sympathy lots of times when I see people in difficulty. 3) I am honest with people and share my theories with them. 4) I am not a whiner (even if I rant..) and always try to seek solutions on how to deal with problems.

It would be interesting to hear your explanations on why we then are "misunderstood" ?:mellow:
 

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The simple answer is that maybe no one understands things quite as we do, and that dosent make us any stonger or weaker, it just makes us different. Good thing is you've found the right place to be understood. And honestly, is they don't like it...well stuff 'em
 

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I think maybe ENTPs are only charming and friendly because it will gain them something. In general, they aren't nice because they're genuinely nice people. At least, that's kind of how it is for me when dealing with strangers. People who can see through that charm will probably think we're cold hearted.
 
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I'm an incredibly nice, open, and warm person.
...in my opinion.

When I first meet someone I'm being genuinely friendly and caring.

When I get to know people more and they get to know me more, that's when I let them see the other half of me. The half that really matters.
 

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We're definitely friendly. I think the reason people say that we're unemotional for a number of reasons:

1. We don't fling little compliments left and right
2. What normally phases someone doesn't bother us. Other people can feel panic, fear, offended, whatever, and they show it in their faces and will express it a lot of the time. We know whatever is going on won't last and really won't have a long term impact. So we write it off a problem as "meh".
3.Our Ne is our primary and strongest function. It has us constantly looking all around us and connecting things together. It doesn't really worry about making someone "feel better". Our Fe does that and it comes in third after Ti.
 

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I'm outgoing, not friendly :p

Generally I try to be an agreeable person. Most would say I am. My friends know though... I'm a coldhearted bitch... and they love me for it. true story.
 

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Admittedly, not all of the ENTPs you'll see around are very mature. You seem to be on the higher end of the age and maturity spectrum here, and hence you likely have much more Fe, as you say.

Basically, the more immature the ENTP, the more "misunderstood" he/she might be; the more mature, the more like you describe yourself to be.
 

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I'm friendly when I first meet someone. Unless they have some obvious annoying social defect that is evident before I even start talking to them, in which case they will get "yes" and "no" and other one word answers from me. Generally I am friendly at first, but always with an alterior motive than "just to be friendly". Most of the strangers I talk to are girls. You figure out my motive. If it's a guy then my motive is either "I'm bored might as well talk to someone" or "this guy is obviously important, I should introduce myself and see if he can open a door for me somewhere".

With people I know well I am not as friendly. I will help them if they require help, and I am respectful. But they will get a lot of cold honest responses from me as well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Interestingly familiar points you all made.

I find it easy to get in contact with people...but... Since I cant fake it and find pretentious pretenders at the best amusing, it is the fewest who pass into the real friend zone. Bet I could adapt for a while but sooner or later the ENTP would want to come out. That is often a deal-breaker and conforming bores me more than anything.

It is okey that people have integrity and show you when its time to stop. But it is unbearable when people try to dismantle your rockets before they even get launched (figuratively but non-sexually speaking..).
 

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I have the ability to view situations with a stronger sense of logic so I come off as being cold hearted, but I also have strong emotions in other situations. It's a ying yang thing or whatever that is. :confused:
 

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Personally, I'd say I'm pretty friendly overall, often talking to strangers out of sheer boredom. I do come off as quiet or anti-social to some, mainly due to my disdain of those in my immediate vicinity, leaving me to try and entertain myself rather than waste time talking to em. It becomes really annoying then when they ask me why I'm so quiet, because I'm left wanting to be honest and admit I find them stupid, boring, etc., or just walk away altogether. I do eventually hit a point of boredom where I'll talk to ANYBODY to get some kind of mental stimulation, but generally I stick to talking to friends of mine, or strangers. Like I said, I'm rather outgoing, not sure if this applies to all ENTPs though.
 

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I genuinely care about people I let "in". That is why I dont let so many in. I respect other people too, but you only have as much energy to share....
 
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Over the weekend I was out with my GF. We had our kids with us when we went to the cafe' at Borders to have a snack. A gentleman in his mid-40's or so approached me while I was getting coffee and after complimenting me on my kids asked at what age I first became a father. I thought that was a little forward but not too strange. I answered honestly and told him I was 36. That led to a few other revelations from him about his family and relatives. I nodded and smiled and said something like "Oh, life is like that! No holding people back! :)" and went back to stirring my coffee. I thought he sensed that I was done talking to a stranger about personal stuff because he said "Sir, you have a wonderful day". But a few minutes after I sat down at a table with my improvised family this guy comes back and basically joins us, talking to me about my Blackberry (taking it out of my hands at one point) and my GF about Columbian human trafficking or something. He manages to ask us about our "marriage" and how long we had known each other. This is ALL WITHIN THE FIRST 90 SECONDS or so of meeting this guy, and we don't even know each other's names. Fortunately my 4-year-old started to get wiggly at that time so we had an excuse to leave.

So . . . . I use that guy as my example of how I don't want to be. I couldn't stand thinking I was making anyone feel as uncomfortable as that guy made me feel. If the alternative is giving some people a sense of coldness at times, then so be it.

Though my GF--who is a more mature ENTP herself--wasn't as bothered by the guy. Maybe she would have been if he had asked her if she were on birth control or something. :crazy:
 

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I think maybe ENTPs are only charming and friendly because it will gain them something. In general, they aren't nice because they're genuinely nice people. At least, that's kind of how it is for me when dealing with strangers. People who can see through that charm will probably think we're cold hearted.
Charm is half the illusion. And I think, in most people, behind all the illusions, there is genuine stuff. It just won't come out around everyone perhaps. :happy:
 

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You... crave hugs?

I'm actually not friendly at all, one of my favorite things to do is criticize based on appearance, but I don't do it to be malicious either, it's just amusing. Nothing personal, I would never treat them any different than anyone else. But also I see people as my forms of entertainment and some are more entertaining than others and eventually worm their way into my heart, but that's only my pets, my ExTP bff and my ENTP boyfriend.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Over the weekend I was out with my GF. We had our kids with us when we went to the cafe' at Borders to have a snack. A gentleman in his mid-40's or so approached me while I was getting coffee and after complimenting me on my kids asked at what age I first became a father. I thought that was a little forward but not too strange. I answered honestly and told him I was 36. That led to a few other revelations from him about his family and relatives. I nodded and smiled and said something like "Oh, life is like that! No holding people back! :)" and went back to stirring my coffee. I thought he sensed that I was done talking to a stranger about personal stuff because he said "Sir, you have a wonderful day". But a few minutes after I sat down at a table with my improvised family this guy comes back and basically joins us, talking to me about my Blackberry (taking it out of my hands at one point) and my GF about Columbian human trafficking or something. He manages to ask us about our "marriage" and how long we had known each other. This is ALL WITHIN THE FIRST 90 SECONDS or so of meeting this guy, and we don't even know each other's names. Fortunately my 4-year-old started to get wiggly at that time so we had an excuse to leave.

So . . . . I use that guy as my example of how I don't want to be. I couldn't stand thinking I was making anyone feel as uncomfortable as that guy made me feel. If the alternative is giving some people a sense of coldness at times, then so be it.

Though my GF--who is a more mature ENTP herself--wasn't as bothered by the guy. Maybe she would have been if he had asked her if she were on birth control or something. :crazy:
Not to pick up from where he left..but that was hilarious!:laughing:
 

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i used to be cold when i was younger. i still am, but i used to too. (mitch headberg but he was talking about being a drug addict)

i'm not as bad as i was though. i work in mental health so i've learned things. im pretty friendly generally but guarded about other things.
 
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