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Discussion Starter #1
As an ENTP girl I was just wondering as to whether other ENTP girls had as much trouble as I do finding prospective partners! I just don't get approached by compatible males, it appears only loudmouthed tyrants and builders are willing to approach me. Do any of you have the same problem of intimidating men by your extroverted nature and atypical femininity? Its weird, I always notice men staring at me, but none of them appear to have the balls to approach me!! HELP! what can I do to make myself appear more approachable?
 

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You're natural matches are most likely an INTJ or INFJ..... they don't do much approaching. Unfortunately society forces them to.... and so they may just withdraw from it all together. I have the same trouble ...if I see an ENFJ, ENTJ, INFJ or INTJ..... it's my job to approach.... but naturally it's a bit harder for me than it would be for a ...say.... ENTJ or ENTP like yourself.... you guys are very confident, extroverted, and charismatic.


My advice? If you are willing... I'd say break the social norm when you see a guy you like. If you feel like approaching him.... don't hesitate. By all means if you don't feel like it then don't. But my infj friend is having to deal with the awkwardness of getting an entps attention through his shy ways at the moment.... and so far it hasn't succeeded .... and doesn't look like it will.... even though he sees the potential for a great relationship.

That being said.... I'm sure in the future more and more guys that you like will approach you ..... reason why I say that is because more of them will learn how to overcome their disposition.


(this is all in general)
 

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indeed, get those fuzzy little intjs ;)
i have to say i never met an ENTP before of which i'm sure, but i know one who might be and although she's a bit intimidating, she's very very hot. :)
charisma, wits and passion are an absolutly killing combination, so don't shock them :D
 

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Because my ENTPness will not allow me to chase gentlemen...THEY must follow me like flies!!! haha na... Its just not very much fun chasing after wimps all the time :) Its hard for me not to just cry out 'for gods sake! find your balls!!!' Unfortunately I'm attracted to sweet sensitive guys so it looks like I'm going to have to bite the bullet...
 

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yea I think this is why a lot of ENTP's and ENFP's tend to date more often than ENTP's and INFJ's ...at least in my experience. I always find INTP's a lot easier to find than ENFJs and ENTJ's.
 

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ENFPs and ENTJs are also good matches for ENTPs. You can consider dating these guys instead- they're more likely than the introverts to approach a girl they're attracted to.
 

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Well, it depends who you like, doesn't it.
I was always regarded as pretty intimidating. Still am, actually, although no-one is looking to date me any more cos I'm old and married. But my work colleagues tell me I am scary :)

There isn't a good answer, except that I always felt the men who found me intimidating were perhaps those who wished to dominate or feel superior to their female partner, and for that reason I wasn't interested in them.

I've ended up with a loud, larger than life, very communicative and self-confident ENFJ. He was the first person I'd ever met who could outwit me (and the only one so far!), and he obviously wasn't scared.

Agree with those who say take the initiative. But it's hard, since you will be as vulnerable as everybody else underneath it all. Keep trying though, you can only succeed in the end. I would also add, don't pretend to be something you are not, even if what you are is not a typical girly girl.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks :) Its weird isn't it, I feel I alienate men because I am very domineering! I suppose I shall have to take the initiative, although I hate the uncertainty of it... The not knowing if somebody thinks you are really wrong for them. Whats worse is that us ENTP girls very rarely allow ourselves to stoop to the 'subserviance' of approaching someone... I can't believe I'm being all 'waah I'm lonely and never get approached'... It's really not me... I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME POKING FUN AT THEM TYPES :crazy:
 

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I'm going to be honest, I would love to be in a relationship with an ENTP woman right now. I don't do well being in leadership roles socially. So I would really like someone to kind of take the lead in social situations, with me making sure she keeps the promises she made to important people, making sure she doesn't over exert herself, and be her ear and help her trouble shoot the problems she encounters. But alas, it has not happend yet.
 

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Why do you see that as subservient? Is it because you're giving someone the option to reject you, making it their call instead of yours?
I can understand that reasoning, but I sure don't agree with it.
 

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Ohh I love INFJ guys, They are fantastic for ENTP girls, you see, we're a bit wild sometimes and forget about keeping ourselves safe, I always neglect the mundanities of self-preservation! :D
Yeah that is my thinking about the 'subserviance'. Im not 100% with it as you can see by the inverted commas, but it is a facet to approaching men that plagues my mind.
I also understand why it wouldn't necessarily be making you 'subserviant' in that you would also be the controller of the approach, Its odd though in that, the approacher 'appears' to have more control, but really there is the ultimatum in the hands of the aproachee.
OOOH actually... maybe this is my problem^^^ I overanalyse everything and second guess other people?!
... Well I DO like to think I'm god
 

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Thanks :) Its weird isn't it, I feel I alienate men because I am very domineering! I suppose I shall have to take the initiative, although I hate the uncertainty of it... The not knowing if somebody thinks you are really wrong for them. Whats worse is that us ENTP girls very rarely allow ourselves to stoop to the 'subserviance' of approaching someone... I can't believe I'm being all 'waah I'm lonely and never get approached'... It's really not me... I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME POKING FUN AT THEM TYPES :crazy:
I love a strong woman but soft and cuddly too:proud:
Being an INFJ I would like a girl like you but you have to be more direct and less playful if you were to approach me(I'm not really going to approach you, although that could change). But I would easily sense that you are being honest about liking me, so although I'd seem shy I'd like the direct straight up truth. I would respond to you saying things like "I think you're cute, do you think I am?" or "You look like my type of guy, do I look like your kind of girl?" type questions. I'd think I'd won the lottery:laughing:

We can sense insincerity from a mile away but we can also tell how much somebody is interested in us, both are a double edged sword. Insincerity can just be nervousness or tact and interest can be something other than love or friendship. So both together seems like a good strategy to an INFJ, so basically "sincere interest" says that what is being said is real. Time to indulge in illegal fantasies :crazy:
By the way if that's you in your avatar, the answers is yes I would if you asked!:blushed:
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Wow... I wish it were normally this easy to pick up 'I' men in social situations... I would actually rather inhale chloroform than end up with a fellow ENTP :p GOD i could not stand being someone's bitch... and an ENTP wants a bitch, not a lover...
Haha any wonder We female ENTPs scare aware the 'I's??? I like to keep my men in their place :)... I verbally whip their back-sides...
 

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Wow... I wish it were normally this easy to pick up 'I' men in social situations... I would actually rather inhale chloroform than end up with a fellow ENTP :p GOD i could not stand being someone's bitch... and an ENTP wants a bitch, not a lover...
Haha any wonder We female ENTPs scare aware the 'I's??? I like to keep my men in their place :)... I verbally whip their back-sides...
Nah, I call bollox to that. I think it's because I value my own freedom so much, but I have no desire to hold power over anyone else. Frankly, I find it tiresome to hear people talk about keeping anyone "in line" or who "wears the pants".
Power games in a relationship are a big turn-off for me - I prefer a relationship based on equality and mutual respect. I've been called unreasonable for that, but it seems perfectly reasonable to me that two adults can be together without fighting over who's the boss and who's the bitch.
Just my two pesos.
 

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Nah, I call bollox to that. I think it's because I value my own freedom so much, but I have no desire to hold power over anyone else. Frankly, I find it tiresome to hear people talk about keeping anyone "in line" or who "wears the pants".
Power games in a relationship are a big turn-off for me - I prefer a relationship based on equality and mutual respect. I've been called unreasonable for that, but it seems perfectly reasonable to me that two adults can be together without fighting over who's the boss and who's the bitch.
Just my two pesos.
Agreed. I was actually trying to figure a way to word this thought, so thanks for putting it into words.
 

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HMMM... Just me then clearly, However I am quite power-hungry and don't see it as the 'wrong' way to be necessarily either. Im almost evenly split between ENTP and ENTJ so maybe its the scary dictator part of me that brings power into play. I do agree that relationships can work very well with an equal balance of power but it could never be that way for me, and I also find that many other types prefer a balance of power that is not equal in any way.
However I feel that all ENTPs have a hunger for knowledge which gives a tremendous amount of power to that person, I suppose every ENTP is different and will react slightly differently to power. So yeah I take your point, but in my experience all ENTPs I've known have loved to be in a position of power as it demonstrates the presence of the 'competence' that they crave.
 

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lol at AgentSH - Does this rag smell like chloroform.. ROFL.


HMMM... Just me then clearly, However I am quite power-hungry and don't see it as the 'wrong' way to be necessarily either. Im almost evenly split between ENTP and ENTJ so maybe its the scary dictator part of me that brings power into play. I do agree that relationships can work very well with an equal balance of power but it could never be that way for me, and I also find that many other types prefer a balance of power that is not equal in any way.
However I feel that all ENTPs have a hunger for knowledge which gives a tremendous amount of power to that person, I suppose every ENTP is different and will react slightly differently to power. So yeah I take your point, but in my experience all ENTPs I've known have loved to be in a position of power as it demonstrates the presence of the 'competence' that they crave.

Mmmm. Well intuitively absorbing your personality traits from your posts via my mutant powers....


You definitely have the wit and humor of an ENTP.

You might be an ENTP with an 8 Enneagram, which is the same as Alexander the Great.

I've lol'd at four out of five of your posts.


Extroverted people will love the energy you bring to the table. I could see introverts believing
they can't handle you, or that you'd sling them over your shoulder like a handbag.
Incidentally, when you say "ENTPs want a bitch", you're really saying you want a bitch, because
it secures you against anyone else jostling with you for relationship position. The less strong ones
(and there are incredibly strong I's out there) may find you high-maintenance, despite your innate
awesomeness, which is refreshing that you acknowledge. Not everyone can.

If you're the type of girl where everyone starts to look when you enter a room, if that's how
you speak, present and carry/tend to yourself, I's are not going to be able to approach that.
Just based on the fact that the amount of attention it would draw from the room would be
suffocating to them.

So you're kind of shooting yourself in the foot. With a cannon.


I think you'd be happiest with an ENFP in all honesty. INFJs are rare, INFJ males are rarer,
and strong INFJ males comfortable with a world of social attention that comes with being around
you.. not common. ENTJs will make you their bitch, watch out for chloroform. I don't really
know any INTJ males to comment on that match. Do you need emotional support from your
guy? Emotional anything?
 
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