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Yeah so this topic came up in class today, why people cheat and I started thinking to myself, "I couldn't cheat even if I wanted to..my conscience would destroy me.". So I asked my friend who did cheat on someone why he did it and he gave me a list of reasons from to them not spending anytime together, to fighting all the time, to not wanting to hurt her. Stuff like that. Im kind've just curious to whether or not other INFJs feel as I do about cheating or do you think it is open for debate?

Just thinking out loud..or on paper?
 

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"...to not wanting to hurt her"... Yeah, that sounds like an excuse TO cheat. :dry:

Anyway, I'm incapable of this. It has not and will never happen. Ever. It wouldn't even become a point of possibility, let alone actuality.

And for the love of decency and common respect for your fellow human, if you don't want to be with your SO anymore, BREAK THE HELL UP WITH THEM! You never have to end up cheating on them.

I swear, humanity's barely crawled out of the primordial ooze when it comes to this stuff...
 

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I can't say that INFJs as a group are incapable of cheating; I think it is very dependent on the psychological state.
However, I do think that we aren't particularly prone to it.

I know, personally, I could never cheat. I wouldn't. Not only because it's morally wrong, but because I could not live with myself if I did. I could never hurt someone like that. And I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt and shame it would bring me. I don't care how bad my marriage gets- it will never, ever, ever happen.

Like @GoodOldDreamer said, you can always leave. If you're going to be with someone else, why on earth would you not leave your boyfriend/fiancé/husband first? How selfish!!

To be a little more specific, "cheating," to me, means being unfaithful emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. All of these things constitute cheating to me, and if I am in a committed relationship of any kind, I will not be unfaithful.
 

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Any type is capable of cheating.

Personally, I would rather not. It's means I have to lie and keep up with a lie, which I can't do and I'm too lazy to do. It means I have to deal with how I have broken that person's trust, and how I feel like a total tramp. It's a total waste of time and energy, and there's going to be a guaranteed series of fights about it. My reputation would be sullied. If there was a break up, it's guaranteed to be more painful and emotional than it would have been otherwise.

Yeah, no, that's just not worth it. If I don't want to be with someone anymore, I'll just break up with them. Why waste our time? I'd rather try to leave on civil terms if I can, and cheating would just screw that up. There's no such thing as "civil terms" once you break someone's trust like that. Cheating is a declaration of war.
 

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I am "very" empathetic and have been cheated on, so I doubt I could ever cheat. But, I also tend to think like a scientist and grammarian, which leads me to believe there is an exception to "every" rule in life and a lot of guilty people walking our earth.

Personally, I only have "enough" for one at a time.
 

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I don't know about other INFJs, but I'm certainly not capable of cheating. It goes against all my moral principles, I could not look at myself in the mirror if I did.
 

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INFJs are still people, so I believe that they can also cheat. I think it depends more on the morals of the person in question, and is more of a individual thing rather than a group thing. Though I do believe that there are types that are less prone to cheating, since personality types group personality traits. I don't know if INFJs are one of those types, but they seem to be because of the high sensitivity associated with the type.
 

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Because of our Fe, we can be very empathic and related on an emotional level with everyone and make us see way ahead of what may happen if we cheat, making us less prone to cheat. Also been counselors, probably we have seen at some point or another what cheating does to a person but people are people at the end of the day. Depends also on the situation, nothing in life is black and white. There is also times when people are vulnerable and can make mistakes that in their normal state of being they wouldn't make otherwise( not an excuse to incur in x behavior, but help understanding).

I will never cheat, goes against what I believe and my moral principles. The problem with cheating is the break of trust and the emotional and psychological damage you cause to the other person. People start wondering if there is something wrong with them, causing self-stem issues.Sometimes that leaves wounds that can last for years,ruining the future interactions of that person with others because you are more wary and trust less because of what this other person did to you when he/she cheated.

I don't past judgment on anyone. People will always have to live with the consequences of their choices. I don't think I could live with myself, knowing that I cause that kind of emotional up heaving to another person. Before cheating, best end the relationship before you end hurting someone or yourself. Do it because you respect everyone involved. There is also the complications and all the lies that goes with it. It is like having a double life.
 

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I wonder about emotionally cheating and INFJ's could be more likely to do that?
A lot of people only consider physical cheating to be "cheating". Some people even think it's not "cheating" unless it's sex.
But you can emotionally cheat on your partner and I've seen myself get close before.
Our Fe makes it so easy for us to be empathetic to others. When we are around people other than our significant other, our Fe may take over and we end up feeling this strong connection to them... maybe more strongly than we feel for the person we are actually with.

I very recently broke up with my boyfriend and our biggest problem was...well, he was pretty much emotionally unavailable. He was cute and affectionate. But he didn't like to talk about anything too serious. He would stop me from getting too deep and he would make jokes and change the subject when I asked him questions that were too personal for his liking. I told him that I hated how I could have these long, intense, meaningful conversations with other people, sometimes people I barely even know, and I could never talk to him that way. When he was the first person I wanted to talk to and connect with in that way.
I felt bad for opening up so intimately to guys who weren't my boyfriend. But when I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it, he would just stop the conversation and I felt shut up. I knew then that I couldn't be with him anymore.
 

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Neah.. If you don't wanna be with someone anymore u just break up. You don't need to cheat. If u are married tho, u should try and work it out as much as possible (especially if there are kids involved). I do like to cheat at games tho. Move the chess pieces , or steal more money at monopoly or switch proprieties between 2 players when they don't pay attention. :d
 

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Yes.. Of course..

Morality is personal.It's not measured by things like MBTI. We are not all identical.

I have had 3 romantic relationships with INFJs.. All 3 had cheated previously on their past partners. They justified it.. But justification smustification..Cheating is cheating.
I have cheated. They and I all claimed feeling "love starved" as our reason.

INFJs are people.. they have dark sides as well. The INFJ function set makes for a person who could not only cheat.. but cheat well and get away with it.
 

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capable? sure. i'm also "capable" of defecating in the supermarket, or stealing a shirt i envy from my friend's house, or punching someone in the fact when they interrupt me mid-conversation but i like to think i have a little more self-control than that. i'm sick of the squealing id-ridden egotists in society saying "i can't help it" or "it was a mistake" or "i'm only human" as a way to shirk responsibility. yeah, you're human, but so is the person whose heart you kicked around like an empty aluminium can. selfish, selfish, selfish...

</rant>
 

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...INFJs are people.. they have dark sides as well. The INFJ function set makes for a person who could not only cheat.. but cheat well and get away with it.
I agree. I tried to get to know someone better, an INFJ. He obviously had several women in mind, at the same time that he was in conversation with me. I feel like such a fool. I would never attempt anything with another INFJ.
 

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Oh, hell, I've been cheated on by all three of my ex husbands! Swoosh... did I just say that!!!!! It's true and reason upon reasons... Now, who is really the fool? Them or me? Hey, it hurts like hell if or when it happens... people are human, are they not? And, yes, all people are selfish... some more then others. Should I hate (I really don't like this word) because I've been treated badly? What the hell would that get me? A broken heart for the rest of my life? I think not! Yes, I have the battle scars, but I'm still alive...

There are people who do forgive their significant other/spouse for such a deed. Are they crazy for this, really? It is so darn subjective.

No, I wouldn't cheat, simply because I love someone that strongly... loyal.
 
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