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I'm curious to see if INFJs are melancholic in nature. There are times that I see that INFJs are very positive people, but at the same time there's something in our eyes that makes people ask "Are you okay?". Is it because of our complexity? Our differences from society? Are INFJs sad in nature? Or is it just me? I'm very curious :shocked:

Any thoughts? Feel free to discuss.
 

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I used to brood a lot when I was younger. I was depressed, pessimistic and generally negative. But on my quest of self-discovery I have come to realize that all these traits were acquired. When I was a child, I was not negative by nature, but growing up in a well-meaning environment where adults unwittingly crush your spirit, you tend to impose limits on yourself and learn to see things in a negative light.

As I was watching Star Wars 5 moments ago, I was struck by the scene where Yoda was training Luke. Yoda was trying to teach Luke that he could unleash the full power of the force if only he removed his negative beliefs and let go of his preconceptions. Luke couldn't do it; it's hard to unlearn years of thinking in an instant. And as Luke watched his space fighter which weighed a few tons sink to the bottom of the swamp, the logical conclusion he drew was that he would never be able to get it out.

[Luke's ship sinks into the mud]
Luke: We'll never get it out now!
Yoda: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?

Yoda no choice but to dispel Luke's doubt and negativity. Only when Yoda lifted Luke's space fighter out of the swamp with nothing more than the force did Luke start to see what Yoda meant.

We are what we think we are and chose to be. If you think you can't do it, you can't. If you think you can do it, you will find a way. Since our thoughts and views can help or hinder what we achieve in life, it is very important that we control our thoughts. Our thoughts are a good servant but a bad master. While we may not, to the best of my knowledge, be able to wield the force like Yoda, the good thing is, we all can change the way we think to be more effective in life.
 

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I definitely have a tendency to be melancholic. In fact, I am rarely, if ever, completely happy or content. Usually there is at least a taint of sadness or melancholy, if not more. Nevertheless, I am a hopeless optimist. However sad or upset I may become, to whatever depths of depression I may descend, it is impossible for me to lose hope entirely.


Your question reminds me of this song. I feel that is is a very INFJ in nature:
YouTube - melancholy man-moody (in blue)blues
 

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I would say that I am melancholic in nature. My mom is constantly asking me if I'm okay because apparently, I always look like I'm about to cry. But even though my nature is to feel melancholic, I do not always feel this way. Sometimes I feel quite content, joyful even a little spunky. I'm a bit complex and I don't always know exactly how I feel at a given moment.
 

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I would say that I am melancholic in nature. My mom is constantly asking me if I'm okay because apparently, I always look like I'm about to cry. But even though my nature is to feel melancholic, I do not always feel this way. Sometimes I feel quite content, joyful even a little spunky. I'm a bit complex and I don't always know exactly how I feel at a given moment.
Haha... for me it was high school where they asked if I was okay.

Melancholic... no... I think I just think about serious things a lot. My mind wanders to unknown and uncertain things... and I weigh them seriously... I'm thinking a lot about other people's emotional troubles... and the weightier issues of ethics and the unknown. For me this issue is tied to another core issue of mine...

People confuse that seriousness for sadness.
 

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At our core, when the doors are locked and the shutters closed, maybe but at the same time we can be incredibly positive upbeat loving people when we are all by ourselves too. We are very layered which is both a gift and a curse. We have so much "stuff" to figure out about everything including ourselves.
 

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I bet Hamlet would've related most to the threads in our forum . ;D
What a piece of work is an INFJ! how Noble in
Reason? how infinite in faculty? in forme and mouing
how expresse and admirable? in Action, how like an Angel?
in apprehension, how like a God? the beauty of the
world, the Parragon of MBTI personalities.
 

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I'm curious to see if INFJs are melancholic in nature. There are times that I see that INFJs are very positive people, but at the same time there's something in our eyes that makes people ask "Are you okay?". Is it because of our complexity? Our differences from society? Are INFJs sad in nature? Or is it just me? I'm very curious :shocked:

Any thoughts? Feel free to discuss.
Melancholic in nature...Only when my heart hurts.

When the hurt in my heart is deep, I grow very quiet. People that know me well don't ask me if I am ok. They all know that I am walking through my thoughts/feelings/emotions. They, also, know that I will talk when I am ready. I do not fear walking through the heart pains, because I am a survivor.

A child hurting for any and all reasons, an animals plight, poverty, drug abuse, destructive human behavior... goodness...this list could get rather long! They all can make me sad...not depressed because I don't hold onto them. Just like my own heart hurting, I work my way through and figure out what I can do.

This is going to sound selfish, but it is truly not. I am just being realistic. I believe it is far easier for one to work through their own heart pain then another's.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

from the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

Complexity of being an INFJ...probably so.
Different than society...each & every being on this earth is different from one to another.
 

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i find myself to be at my creative peak during melancholic states, it happened a lot more during my high school years then currently but i wouldn't trade it for anything. look throughout history, the biggest artistic names, from the Renaissance to modern times have been people of the melancholic nature and i don't mean history out of school books that "sugar coat" everything, i mean biography's first hand or near it.
i think "infj's" have the potential for greatness because of this but learning how to.... "control" it is the real trick!
in a world that's increasingly fake and a society that keeps pushing the population to "be happy" by taking pills, denying reality, a lil melancholy truthfulness is needed sometimes... and a breath of fresh air.
 

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Well,
when I read up on the Four temperaments,
Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, Phlegmatic
and tested myself,I was pretty much Cho-Mel
which doesnt mean i dont have traces of the San and Phleg

So to an extent, I feel INFJs have a tendency to be melancholic, because of the way we see the world
and see the depth to lots of things.
Sometimes I just feel sad for people, the unfairness of the world.....
But it's not like we always go about looking like this :frustrating:
 

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I think with stuff like this the enneagram comes in nicely. Most INFJs are number 4, the romantic (pretty much Melancholic with the four temperaments) and so generally if the two (INFJ, 4) come together you get a melancholic person...

In saying that, I'm a 9 and I can be downers as... But that's for a different reason :blushed:
 

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I read somewhere that INFJ children are typically very complacent but still internally aware of everyone/thing.
That makes a lot of sense because as we grow into adolescents, it's a whole different world, and perhaps INFJ's take all of these changes into account - the eruption of hormones, scrutiny of others, underlying motives in others, and just the evil vs. good in human nature in general.
I do mostly agree that we have a melancholic nature. Our perceptiveness of bad things hidden under the surface is a big contribution to it all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the more intense feelings/vibes we absorb as we grow, the more we hold in our core. I've been told by a close friend that I hold and carry so much inside of me as a person.
 

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Yes. But the ratio (Happy/Sad) heavily favor the Happy side these days in my case.:proud:
 

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my gf asks it all the time now every time i look at the distance searching my mind, because she knows that 9 times out of 10 its probably something bad
 

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I know with the four temperaments I'm always testing dual choleric and melancholy. So in that sense, yes.

But I wouldn't call myself as a melancholy person. I think I was when I was a bit younger, very pessimistic all the time, but I grew out of it. These days I think thoughtful would be a more apt term for that kind of state. Very, very deep in thought.
 

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I think it helps when you pair up your myers briggs type with your enneagram type. INFJs are commonly number 4s on the enneagram; the romantic, and with that combination your pretty much guaranteed melancholy..
In saying that I'm a INFJ but a 9 on the enneagram and I'm no stranger to melancholic moments, but for me at least no one picks up on it.
 
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