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Sometimes I experience strange situations where people suppose I have zero "street knowledge", or that I am socially and romantically naive, so they are overly cautious about those topics around me, like I am a kid or something. :ROFLMAO: Is this just me? I recently asked a friend about it, and he answered something along the lines of "I don't know, dude, you don't really react when things happen around you or to you, so sometimes your look clueless, or like you just don't give a fuck about these things. You don't really talk about people either". My girlfriend also said that when she met me, she thought I had zero interest in her, or despised her for some reason.

When that happens I can't help myself but to be angry. I'm much tougher than 95% (being conservative) of the population: physically, mentally, spiritually. I deal with any of my problems 10 times easier and faster than they do, but somehow, they think I'm helpless out there? Is it written somewhere that to be "aware", I have to be an overreacting idiot?

"You think I'm in danger? I, AM, THE DANGER!!!" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Have you ever experienced these situations? How are you seen in social situations, where people talk about everything?
 
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I had a similar experience with my boyfriend. When we first started seeing each other, I guess I wasn’t enthusiastic or obvious enough. Apparently, I barely touched him, and would pull away from kisses too quickly. He had to ask me several times if I was truly interested in him.

It seemed so silly to me because I saw him again and again and he still wasn’t sure that I was into him? Haha.
 

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there are some things i just don't register. and/or htings i do register but i don't give much indication of it unless there's a good reason to.

Is it written somewhere that to be "aware", I have to be an overreacting idiot?
i don't always talk about what i notice. doesn't mean i'm not noticing it.

i can't say my social group gives me that kind of comment, but i'm in my 50's and that kind of hting isn't really an active topic among my age peers.

i don't recall that people told me i was naive in my 20's and 30s'. but i'm pretty sure a certain type of person assumed that i was. basing that on two things:

1. the stuff they thought they could get away with, as evidenced by the kind of thing they would actually try
2. the types of reaction i used to get when i did say whatever was in my mind. i had a lot of overreaction to that. which kind of demonstrates how big the gap must have been, between what they thought i must be [not] thinking, and what i actually was.

i don't talk much in real life situations. i like to keep my own counsel, because when you tell people you've noticed things they don't know themselves or thought they were concealing, they tend to react in ways that kind of distort the interaction.
 
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I, personally, do tend to see some vulnerabilities with a lot of INTJs. I abhor the idea of taking advantage of anyone, and I also don't like to assume others would, so I don't relate to thinking INTJs are gullible and naive, but at the same time I do see some parts of many INTJs as "innocent" and delicate.

I think INTJs have their own defenses to people trying to take advantage of them, which are probably a lot different than mine (because I can also seem "gullible and naive"), so I don't usually feel too concerned for INTJs in general, compared to people who test as INFPs, for example.

When I think of how other types--like an ESFJ that I knew, would deal with INTJ--I don't think she'd see them as gullible or naive but perhaps she would still think they could be manipulated fairly easily in some ways. Perhaps any type can be manipulated--they don't have to be seen as "gullible or naive"--to me that sounds more like how people would see an NF since NF's are known to try to see the best in people and to not want to negatively generalize people, even if those people are acting in ways that would be raising red flags to others. But I do, personally, find INTJs to be a little innocent, and I do imagine them to be sort of vulnerable in a way--and perhaps it has to do with tertiary Fi and also being an Ni dom.
 

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Like I guess it's just the more sensitive and pure parts of the INTJ--perhaps it is from Fi tertiary (as the child function which acts in a pure way unlike for an INFP Fi would be the hero). So INTJ sometimes do seem like vulnerable children I feel the need to protect, but at the same time most INTJ seem better at defending themselves than I do. So idk. I really like that aspect of INTJ I've seen, but I also always am conscious of how it could be hurt since I do not want to hurt it. But some types might see INTJ as more gullible because they have weakness to sensing and extroverted feeling, but I doubt most people of any type tend to view INTJ as gullible or naive.
 

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Naive and gullible - not really.

However, I do know that at least for myself, and I think it tends to be true of many INTJs, one of my "core strengths" is "Fairness." In other words, I don't play favorites, I'm not going to lick someone's boots because of their title, I may respect the janitor as much as I respect the CEO (or more) depending on who they are as a person. Unfortunately, especially in any group prone to politics/drama/clicks/etc that is seen as a weakness. They get the impression they can walk all over me because i just quietly do my work (usually excelling at it), don't run around tooting my horn, don't participate in gossip, and flat out refuse to kiss someone's ass just because of their job title. The first impression is that I will just sit there and take it - on occasion, I am in a position where I don't have much choice, but I will also walk away at the first opportunity and I won't look back.

Karma has come around several times on those groups/people, although it has always happened after I was already gone....

That said, I've had a few bosses over the years who appreciated that, who earned my respect, and because they saw the strengths I possessed, we had a great relationship and they earned a lifetime of deep seated respect from me that would be nearly impossible to destroy short of completely doing a 180 on who they are as people.

In social circles, I get two extremes usually - people either perceive me as shy (I'm not, just an introvert and a female INTJ) or as intimidating (again, I'm really not, but some people pick up on the "no BS" vibe I think - plus, if my mouth is moving and there are words coming out, I probably know what I'm talking about - if I'm not asking a question to inquire further).
 

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That's a fault of the immature INTJ (Ni/Fi).
Also the lower the IQ and EQ the more a person is shut off from observations so they tend to believe the false data and half truths others are pushing through to their nose.

On my book Te follows Se.

Inferior Extroverted Sensing:
As an inferior function, Se originally manifests as a distrust of the physical world that surrounds its user, or the pervasive belief that one’s intellect can and must be trusted above the sensory information that is available.
 
As Se matures, the user may find themselves feeling steadily more in tune with the sensory world that surrounds them, and more able to trust it as a pervasive force.
The inferior-Se monologue (prior to maturation): “I must analyze all possible outcomes of a sensory experience, as the physical world is subject to change unexpectedly, at any time.”


Tertiary Fi/ Fi Child as defined by Auxiliary Introverted Feeling:
As an auxiliary function, Fi manifests as a method of reflecting on and assessing how the user feels about his or her past actions.
 

The auxiliary-Fi monologue: “I need to isolate myself to process how I feel about the activities I’ve been engaging in lately and decide whether or not to keep doing them.”


The real Sherlock Holmes, as in the book, is INTJ and he is anything but Gullible/Naive.
 

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It depends on the situation. Though I would consider getting angry over that somewhat naive.
 

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I think there's a certain tendency for people to project their maternal/paternal instincts onto other people. It probably has less to do with the INTJ than with people's own biases. Although, it is kind of adorable that OP is so pissed. :p

I get "mothered" a lot by random people (including men) and it has basically nothing to do with anything I say or do. lol They see a petite babyfaced chick, and they think I need help with everything. I'm like "I can do it myself" and they're like "OH YES YOU CAN~~ WHO'S A BIG GURL ^^" and I'm mildly creeped out but eh...

To apply that to an adult INTJ male, I would imagine some people see a quiet, introverted, somewhat awkward person and they project their internal image of "ze Nerd". 🤓
 

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I can understand that the OP cannot stand it if he is underestimated. For my part, I secretly maniacally grin if someone tries to manipulate me, last time it was an sales agent who told that the companies X and Y buy so many of his stuff that I HAVE to buy it too. Really, that is a very weak argument to base a decision on someone else's decision, especially if you don't know the decisionmakers of these companies personally. So, no, it is totally useless to try to try something like that on an INTJ. But I don't get offended. You have the advantage if you get underestimated ...
 

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The three more significant INTJs in my life were rather naive when they were ~20 years old.

The first one I met in high school. He told me how he could envision our two futures, the path I was taking would lead me to be content in a small house and a nice family, where he would be single and alone, in a dark room, and sad but having finished his training to be a surgeon. I asked him, if he predicts such a poor outcome with his life choices, why shouldn't he do something else? Guess what is he doing now? Yep, training in med school.

The second one chased after money in his early twenties and worked really hard. He thought that was what would make his life happier. It's hard not to think this way if everyone else seems to think material wealth brings happiness. By the time he was twenty-seven, he realized it wasn't making him happy. So he sold his investment property, moved to a smaller living area, and simplified his life. Now he says he is much more joyful.

The third one moved around South and Central America doing scientific work that included falconry. He thought it would make him happy, but he wasn't. It wasn't until he was forty when he started pouring himself into volunteer work. I met him as a happy sixty-year-old.

The INTJs that come to terms with what they want to do in life are neither gullible nor naive.
 

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They never learn how to respect thus also lack self respect. Always both needing and giving external validation.

My default initial stance is always respecting others, no matter what, no matter who. Until proven otherwise that they are not worthy. Then i just avoid them the best i could because i am not very good in acting.

Have you ever experienced these situations? How are you seen in social situations, where people talk about everything?
Yes, but i don't really care what they think. Some would say i am an enigma, even a sigma, but i digress.
 
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