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ThisIsWhereIRunAway,

did you erase the content in your first post because you realized that there was a similar thread in content right below yours on the forum? Your answer to this question might clear up the misunderstanding that you might have caused AvaAdore :)
 
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Discussion Starter #5
ThisIsWhereIRunAway,

did you erase your first message because you realized there was a similar thread in content right below yours on the forum? Your answer to this question might clear up the misunderstanding that you might have caused AvaAdore :)
um I erased it cause i felt like I was revealing too much to people I don't really know. Yea I guess it might be that my name has to do with running away.... and i said nvm in this thread.
 

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um I erased it cause i felt like I was revealing too much to people I don't really know. Yea I guess it might be that my name has to do with running away.... and i said nvm in this thread.
yup, that was why AvaAdore said what he did.

Now that you explained why you did what you did, it should be all clear :crazy:

And, just so you know, there is another thread similar in content to this thread right below yours :) You can always post in there if you feel up to it. :) The thread is titled: "do you feel good about your body".

By the way, I have noticed that you are a newbie. Welcome aboard :crazy:
 
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yup, that was why AvaAdore said what he did.

Now that you explained why you did what you did, it should be all clear :crazy:

And, just so you know, there is another thread similar in content to this thread right below yours :) You can always post in there if you feel up to it. :) The thread is titled: "do you feel good about your body".

By the way, I have noticed that you are a newbie. Welcome aboard :crazy:
Ohhh woops. K thanks for the welcome. mk ill check that out.
 

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Wonder if I could revive this thread and make it about "if ENFJ's consider looks to be important in finding their significant others?"

I do believe in "attraction" at first sight and that it might the first step, a tiny step, for me to fall in love with someone...though I am not sure because this hasn't happened to me yet (just speculating and dreaming.lol)

But no matter how good looking...I will not fall for them if the atmosphere they had around them (their personality/spirit) didn't fill me with good emotions. This "atmosphere" means way more to me than "looks".
 

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Well, my answer for this is that it certainly does. It's not the ultimate factor but it's also one of the main factors.

I've come to terms with a certain logic. Why be with someone who you do not feel attracted to physically when it is an actual integral part of our biological desires. We should find a partner (no matter how difficult it may be) that culminates all the aspects in a person that we should find attractive.

Personality and appearance I believe are two important elements that aren't often paired up well enough today.

Again, I am not saying that we should all marry "ridiculously photogenic guy" or exclusively Victoria Secret models but in a certain sense, find a girl that reminds you of home, paradise, elysian fields, your wildest emotional fantasies and so forth.

The girl that affected me most profoundly in my lifetime is actually not the most beautiful woman I've come across in my life. Surely there are a ton of people I meet and interact with day to day that stand out far beyond her but as said, she reminds me of home, a place where I long to be. She had the face of my wife in the future, which is why I wanted her.

That's what I view as long term attraction versus short term attraction.

You gotta have an X factor to you and that's regardless of good looks and anyway, as the old saying goes, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...

Thinking about it now, I'd trade ten thousand wild nights with Megan Fox for a chance to just make out with the one that got away.

And no, by the world's standards, Megan is still hotter... but I don't care :3

I guess that's what it needs to be :p
 

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Wonder if I could revive this thread and make it about "if ENFJ's consider looks to be important in finding their significant others?"

I do believe in "attraction" at first sight and that it might the first step, a tiny step, for me to fall in love with someone...though I am not sure because this hasn't happened to me yet (just speculating and dreaming.lol)

But no matter how good looking...I will not fall for them if the atmosphere they had around them (their personality/spirit) didn't fill me with good emotions. This "atmosphere" means way more to me than "looks".
"Looks" is a trap honestly. It goes both ways --- if you don't feel like you have them, you feel like it's the cause of other people rejecting you - and if you do have them, it could lead to the wrong person attracted to you and even find yourself manipulated. [But of course, it's a personal thing in the end].

I can only speak from personal experience, but there was a time when I pretty decent looking. Average height, but lean and muscular ... go-getter, eligible, smart, highly educated --- and humbly confident --- stuff that I've been told are supposedly ideal qualities in a man [at least in Pakistan]. What that did was it attracted a lot of women to me - but the one I ended up choosing was the wrong one.

I should've paid more attention to her attraction to my looks and her inability to see beneath the surface. I was also physically attracted to her - and we made "the most handsome couple" .. for a long time, we were really head-turners out in public as well as at parties. And very, very honestly, our match-up was really spoken about, and treated like a "Ken and Barbie" marriage. :rolleyes: [and that as such a deeper meaning with regards to it being highly superficial --- and about looks, appearances, materiality --- everything was wrong about it from the very first day].

But then, I got into an accident and started getting fat ... and boom, she lost interest -- after a short while started finding other men attractive and left me 3 years into the marriage.

Anyways --- long story short ... I really don't care about looks anymore. In actuality, I didn't care much about them in the past either --- but now ... they're important to me only from a health point of view. I mean, one has to maintain certain aspects of their health, and in doing so, they maintain their appearance as well .. But a lot of people forego health over appearance and that also shows in other ways. It has to be a balance, and that balance is specific to that individual.

The real beauty is character ... and that is the undeniable truth.

I also believe very honestly, that if you feel you are beautiful, then that in itself is beautiful, and it shows.
 

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I would like someone who I believe is as attractive as I am and vice versa. I do think there needs to be some equality in terms of looks, intellect, interests etc......at least for me, for a relationship to work.
 
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I've never really cared about looks much. I've always dated whomever I had feelings for. As my feelings grew for that person, usually so did my attraction to them. I consider attraction to personality far more important than physical attraction, because for me the former overshadows the latter. I have only once been in a relationship with someone where I felt like my physical attraction was almost as strong as my mental attraction (the relationship being my current one :3).
 

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I have only once been in a relationship with someone where I felt like my physical attraction was almost as strong as my mental attraction (the relationship being my current one :3).
I'm glad that you added the last line.

'Cuz reading this, I was like :shocked: but when I saw the last para, I was like :cool:

Also, I have to add that being a demisexual, I've found that I have to be in love before I can be physically attracted to someone - so it does have an impact on how I perceive looks as well. I go for personality first before I even consider looks.

As for my current relationship, I was in love before I even saw a full picture of my love :)
 

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I'm glad that you added the last line.

'Cuz reading this, I was like :shocked: but when I saw the last para, I was like :cool:

Also, I have to add that being a demisexual, I've found that I have to be in love before I can be physically attracted to someone - so it does have an impact on how I perceive looks as well. I go for personality first before I even consider looks.

As for my current relationship, I was in love before I even saw a full picture of my love :)
Lmao. For some reason I'm picturing people thinking that I sent really random pics at first, like first my eyebrow, then my pinkie, then some random patch of skin... XD
 
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