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Discussion Starter #1
Alot of the men in my family are very possessive and jealous over their girlfriends however the girlfriends dont really seem to feel that way, from what ive seen anyway
 

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I would say so, yes, but only in general. For every jealous, possessive man there is a woman who is his opposite and vice versa.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I would say so, yes, but only in general. For every jealous, possessive man there is a woman who is his opposite and vice versa.

Do you think it is real love if a partner feels jealousy? because ive always thought that if you were in a trusting, loving and commited relationship you would never feel jealous.
 

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men are naturally possessive. we love being the defenders of the women important to us. it's our natural role. and most of the time being the defender of the "damsel in distress" causes possessiveness. nothing pleases a guy more then knowing he is needed in order for his girl to feel safe.

not to mention, men like to own things and use them. women like to talk about owning things or wanting to own things but don't follow through with actually obtaining those things as frequently as men do. (but when they do, it's called shopping. men spread this activity out more so we don't get together to do it in bulk)
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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Do you think it is real love if a partner feels jealousy? because ive always thought that if you were in a trusting, loving and commited relationship you would never feel jealous.
I learned in abuse counseling that when a partner is being "possessive" it is NOT love. They are treating you like an "object". To them, you are something to be "controlled". Many times when possessive partners are upset, it is not because they love you and their jealousy is a healthy expression of that love. No, they are upset because they have lost control of their "object".

And isolation is a typical behavior tactic of abusers.

I was raised in a family where machismo was a huge part of my life. But I've seen both women and men who have tried to control their partners.

Here is a thread you can check out: http://personalitycafe.com/sex-relationships/15673-how-healthy-my-relationship.html

To love is to also trust.
 

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This thread made me think of this:


I do think men could potentially be more possessive. When there is no trust in a relationship it could go either way.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
This thread made me think of this:


I do think men could potentially be more possessive. When there is no trust in a relationship it could go either way.
Hahaha! very funny! :D
 

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MOTM Nov 2010
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This thread made me think of this:


I do think men could potentially be more possessive. When there is no trust in a relationship it could go either way.
Haha! Very funny. Especially since I often say "Did you just pee on me?" Lol! :laughing:
 

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I think generally, yes. A guy became really possessive of me and I wasn't even dating him. In biological psychology, many people state men are prone to sexual jealousy and women are prone to emotional jealousy (men want to ensure their genes are passed to the offspring, women want security). Obviously this is flawed but thought I'd post it anyway!
 

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My doggy once pee'd on me, but she was female and just a few years old. I never figured out why ...though I did feel pwn'd.
 

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From a sociobiological point of view, a man has no way to know for sure that his offspring is his own so he has more reason to be sexually possessive. Conversely, the woman has more to lose from losing his affection than from sexual infidelity. It is natural for either sex to expect their partner to be faithful, but to be possessive and distrustful is unhealthy.
 

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Humans are more prone to possessiveness than any other animal, but human males or females, i dont know.
Are humans animals anyway?
 

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I can understand people trying to protect their relationship, but only an insecure person feels that their relationship needs protecting and that they can control someone. We can't control people without being nasty, instead what you do is be a good partner as you can. Make them feel like you're worthy and if they leave well good for them, hopefully they'll be happier else where.
We're selfish that we only think about our happiness which is natural and important but got to step outside yourself.
Im sure theres many men and women who are unstable in some way and too protective of their partner.
The sort of people who isolate you from your friends because you cant be trusted to fall in love with them or have sex with them hahaha

The mindset is a fulfilling prophecy because I dont think too many people enjoy their partner being possessive and thus they leave. So in trying to keep with their partner, they push them away. A deluded concept of control. Sometimes we just got to accept we cant control everything, but we certainly control ourselves with varying influences.
They did studies of locus of control. Its deemed cultural, western society promotes autonomy and individualism. Eastern culture often is more about community and being a part of a larger group. So Westerners feel stress when they feel less control, not so much people from the East.
Many people would be better off developing realistic concept of how much is within their control and how much can be influenced by them and how much is purely out of their control.Its all perception which then leads to how we act.
 

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yes. I've gone to notice [from what i've seen with my own eyes] that men marry because they're inlove with that woman and don't want no other man to have her. Even when the love is gone... usually I've seen it be for territory.
 

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When it comes to relationships, I think men are more possessive leading up to the seriousness, women are more possessive after the commitment has been established and the relationship begun.

I'm not a typical male, so I can't really use myself as an example, but I know many men get jealous and/or upset when other guys talk to the girl they are interested in, which gets even more odd when they are dating the girl and already have their attention.

I've also noticed then when the two are in a committed relationship, girls are more suspicious of their man and/or afraid of him leaving them.

Then again, these are all just generalizations and observations; the same is obviously true for both gender.

But I suppose if I were to just generally answer who is more possessive in general?

Women.
 

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What about reverse possession, the jealousy of feeling that your partner will drop you for an upgraded version. People seem to think It's the Jealous person objectifying the partner, what if it's the jealous person objectifying themselves.

I say the whole topic of jealousy is far to complex to merely sign off as one scenario.

Though both stem as a lack of trust. In forming relationships I don't see it as an issue while you are building trust but at some point it has to go away.
 

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Insecure people are posessive, woman or man it doesen't matter imo.
 
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