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Maybe my perception is distorted, but I think NFPs are softer compared to NFJs. A while ago, an INFP poster told me he thinks he is too "blunt" for INFJs. Lol no. Every single INFP I've met IRL is more of a pacifist and less stubborn than I am. Maybe I'm getting this type completely wrong but I can't see how an INFP could possibly be too "blunt" for me.

There's no comparison between ENFJs and ENFPs as well. I think ENFJs can be tough and pushy AF compared to ENFPs, mainly due to Fe lead and terc Se.
 
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Why can't they be blunt?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Why can't they be blunt?
I'm not saying they can't. I just don't see it as typical INFP behavior from what I've gathered. In fact, I see INFP as one of the softest types (they are high up there with ISFJ).

I can only imagine an INFP being a blunt hardass if someone crosses their Fi boundaries.
 

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I'm not saying they can't. I just don't see it as typical INFP behavior from what I've gathered. In fact, I see INFP as one of the softest types (they are high up there with ISFJ).

I can only imagine an INFP being a blunt hardass if someone crosses their Fi boundaries.
Then why didn't you believe that INFP poster?
 

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Why are INTPs' questions so annoying?
We have a knack for detecting logical inconsistency.

(Edit: and other than that, it's mostly warped perception due to assumptions, conscious or otherwise, based on one's type.)
 
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First off, I didn't say he can't be "blunt". I said I can't envision an INFP being too blunt for me.
Does it make sense now?
I didn't say the INFP was right. I think different people have different reception of "bluntness". So it would make little sense to categorize one type as unable to handle bluntness coming from another type. You must not generalize your reception of bluntness to others with a "Lol no."

It probably depends on the situation. I have seen INFPs be blunt compared to others.

(I have decided to include this in an edit instead of responding later - there is no contradiction between "not believing INFP" and "not believing INFJ". They both have their own perceptions based on their interactions. And I would declare both statements, when generalized, incorrect.)
 
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I have been accused of bluntness many times, more often when I was younger though, I am a bit better at thinking before I speak now. But I think it might be different kinds of blunt. I can easily put my foot in my mouth when it comes to social faux pas. I also have quite often made comments that I thought were either just neutral observations (show I care enough about the company to pay attention), or even compliments, when not thinking twice, because they were so in my mind (say I might have said a woman looked a bit like a male celebrity -everyone thought I was rude and she was hurt -but I didn't mean it as offense, she just had a few facialfeatures in common with him, and it was a pretty man, and I think slightly masculine women are often pretty, so to me it was a compliment if anything, or neutral observation, and it didn't occur to me before I spoke that it could be taken as "you look manly, which is bad, and like that celebrity that one might not want to be associated with" ) . I usually understand those kinds of things given a little time to contemplate (so less when writing), but it is not in my backbone to consider what the general opinion about something is, and I often speak while I think, talking being part of the thoughtprocess.

And then there is where values are crossed of course, and not being able to allow oneself to stay quiet or agree, sometimes even a tendency to disagree for the sake of it when people begin to nod and agree with each other to build a cozy groupfeel. I can sometimes when not thinking be blunt and vocal about dislikes too, which people can take offense to when they like that thing. Sometimes I understand that it can be taken to heart (some likes and dislikes are showing identity, mirror who you are, like music for example), sometimes not (like about what the best kind of bread is or something, where I see no point in agreeing)

INFJs bluntness I have come across is more like... barging in and telling you "ok, this is how it is/how things work, let me explain to you: ..." , in that kind of situation infps might be less blunt, more roundabout and state things subjectively, or show rather than tell.
 

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Maybe my perception is distorted, but I think NFPs are softer compared to NFJs. A while ago, an INFP poster told me he thinks he is too "blunt" for INFJs. Lol no. Every single INFP I've met IRL is more of a pacifist and less stubborn than I am. Maybe I'm getting this type completely wrong but I can't see how an INFP could possibly be too "blunt" for me.

There's no comparison between ENFJs and ENFPs as well. I think ENFJs can be tough and pushy AF compared to ENFPs, mainly due to Fe lead and terc Se.

Yes. INFJs are extremely complicated and difficult people in my opinion. Every INFJ I have ever known has been charismatic and cute to me (INFP) in the beginning of our friendship, and slightly making fun of me and calling me "confused" toward the end. ENFPs and ENFJs have done this to me as well. Other INFPs I have known are nothing like myself, only perhaps behaviorally in terms of the laws of physics, but still in different ways. I've felt that INFJs are physically lighter and lither but definitely more idealistic to a victimization fault and maybe even feel they've lived a tougher life or something (even if that's not true, that's the aura they tend to give off sometimes). INFJs are tougher and more go-getting in the creative sense. After all, it is the Beta quadra...which I hate to do, but INFJs have excluded me from groups. One had a wedding and never actually made a point to have me there, despite meeting her husband through a date I met online.
 

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Maybe my perception is distorted, but I think NFPs are softer compared to NFJs. A while ago, an INFP poster told me he thinks he is too "blunt" for INFJs. Lol no. Every single INFP I've met IRL is more of a pacifist and less stubborn than I am. Maybe I'm getting this type completely wrong but I can't see how an INFP could possibly be too "blunt" for me.

There's no comparison between ENFJs and ENFPs as well. I think ENFJs can be tough and pushy AF compared to ENFPs, mainly due to Fe lead and terc Se.
I find the exact opposite. INFJ's are naturally pinging for validation cookies. They're much less likely to do things that are disagreeable because then they don't get those sweet sweet cookies. INFJs are obligated to others, so they aren't going to do whatever they feel like unless it's ok with everyone else.

INFPs, on the other hand, couldn't care less about validation. They do whatever they want, whenever they want. As a result, their actions will often run up against others boundaries and cause tension. INFPs are obligated to themselves, so they're going to do what feels right for THEM, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
 

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Maybe it has to do with the Jungian definition of judging vs perceiving.
When Jung describes the two, it seems like, in this sense, they mean, basically, deciding vs taking in information for deciding.
People with a perceiving preference tend to put more priority on information getting than making the decision, whereas people with a judging preference like to decide on something and be done with it. It has actually been one of the few sources of contention/conflict between myself and my INTP. He often procrastination the decision making process, because he wants to take in more information, first, and I see where there are times when you don't have enough time to take in all the information you need, and need to just make a choice, so it's actually rather difficult for me not to be a bit pushy with him in some scenarios.
 

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I find the exact opposite. INFJ's are naturally pinging for validation cookies. They're much less likely to do things that are disagreeable because then they don't get those sweet sweet cookies. INFJs are obligated to others, so they aren't going to do whatever they feel like unless it's ok with everyone else.

INFPs, on the other hand, couldn't care less about validation. They do whatever they want, whenever they want. As a result, their actions will often run up against others boundaries and cause tension. INFPs are obligated to themselves, so they're going to do what feels right for THEM, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Agreed, but I would also add that "what feels right for THEM", can be not to hurt people's feelings (for example by being blunt), so that ought to factor in and differ quite a bit from infp to infp, how important they think that is compared to what their bluntness acheives.

edit: oh, and remembered a second aspect to it is that one can reign in the bluntness by plain tactics. I for example hold my tongue about animal rights/veganism quite often nowadays, compared to when I was a teen. Because I have come to the conclusion I often find it is not contra-effective (not always though), and I generally value that things change more than getting to express what I feel about it.

So what I mean is that I agree there is less incentive to reign oneself in because of validation, but it doesn't mean one just speak one's mind all the time, there are other reasons to hold one's tongue.
 

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Agreed, but I would also add that "what feels right for THEM", can be not to hurt people's feelings (for example by being blunt), so that ought to factor in and differ quite a bit from infp to infp, how important they think that is compared to what their bluntness acheives.

edit: oh, and remembered a second aspect to it is that one can reign in the bluntness by plain tactics. I for example hold my tongue about animal rights/veganism quite often nowadays, compared to when I was a teen. Because I have come to the conclusion I often find it is not contra-effective (not always though), and I generally value that things change more than getting to express what I feel about it.

So what I mean is that I agree there is less incentive to reign oneself in because of validation, but it doesn't mean one just speak one's mind all the time, there are other reasons to hold one's tongue.
Absolutely. Completely agree.
 

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Discussion Starter #15 (Edited)
I find the exact opposite. INFJ's are naturally pinging for validation cookies. They're much less likely to do things that are disagreeable because then they don't get those sweet sweet cookies. INFJs are obligated to others, so they aren't going to do whatever they feel like unless it's ok with everyone else.

INFPs, on the other hand, couldn't care less about validation. They do whatever they want, whenever they want. As a result, their actions will often run up against others boundaries and cause tension. INFPs are obligated to themselves, so they're going to do what feels right for THEM, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
I strongly disagree. NFJs can be notoriously pushy when it comes to their visions (Ni) and convictions - when taken to extremes, unfortunately, this tendency can create someone like Hitler (lol). This happens because what the Fe user sees as harmony is not always perceived by others as harmonious.

INFP's aren't obliged to anybody else, but on the other hand, they don't have much of an agenda to influence others like NFJs do, either. They are very respectful of other points of view (Ne) and different ways to express one's individuality.

Edit: Of course, this doesn't mean every NFJ is a forceful pushy Hitler-like personality, but I've definitely seen that happening. I've never seen the same force of expression and will to influence other people and groups in INFPs.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Yes. INFJs are extremely complicated and difficult people in my opinion. Every INFJ I have ever known has been charismatic and cute to me (INFP) in the beginning of our friendship, and slightly making fun of me and calling me "confused" toward the end. ENFPs and ENFJs have done this to me as well. Other INFPs I have known are nothing like myself, only perhaps behaviorally in terms of the laws of physics, but still in different ways. I've felt that INFJs are physically lighter and lither but definitely more idealistic to a victimization fault and maybe even feel they've lived a tougher life or something (even if that's not true, that's the aura they tend to give off sometimes). INFJs are tougher and more go-getting in the creative sense. After all, it is the Beta quadra...which I hate to do, but INFJs have excluded me from groups. One had a wedding and never actually made a point to have me there, despite meeting her husband through a date I met online.
Yes, you get my point. Few people understand Socionics around here, but you seem to do. The Beta quadra. Of all quadras, it is the most expressive quadra and perhaps the most sensitive to conflict. INFPs are in the Delta quadra, or the most chill quadra.

And I'm sorry these particular INFJs have been mean to you. They sound like jerks (and yeah, INFJs can be jerks) 🤷‍♀️
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I have been accused of bluntness many times, more often when I was younger though, I am a bit better at thinking before I speak now. But I think it might be different kinds of blunt. I can easily put my foot in my mouth when it comes to social faux pas. I also have quite often made comments that I thought were either just neutral observations (show I care enough about the company to pay attention), or even compliments, when not thinking twice, because they were so in my mind (say I might have said a woman looked a bit like a male celebrity -everyone thought I was rude and she was hurt -but I didn't mean it as offense, she just had a few facialfeatures in common with him, and it was a pretty man, and I think slightly masculine women are often pretty, so to me it was a compliment if anything, or neutral observation, and it didn't occur to me before I spoke that it could be taken as "you look manly, which is bad, and like that celebrity that one might not want to be associated with" ) . I usually understand those kinds of things given a little time to contemplate (so less when writing), but it is not in my backbone to consider what the general opinion about something is, and I often speak while I think, talking being part of the thoughtprocess.

And then there is where values are crossed of course, and not being able to allow oneself to stay quiet or agree, sometimes even a tendency to disagree for the sake of it when people begin to nod and agree with each other to build a cozy groupfeel. I can sometimes when not thinking be blunt and vocal about dislikes too, which people can take offense to when they like that thing. Sometimes I understand that it can be taken to heart (some likes and dislikes are showing identity, mirror who you are, like music for example), sometimes not (like about what the best kind of bread is or something, where I see no point in agreeing)

INFJs bluntness I have come across is more like... barging in and telling you "ok, this is how it is/how things work, let me explain to you: ..." , in that kind of situation infps might be less blunt, more roundabout and state things subjectively, or show rather than tell.
When you described your experiences (especially the first part about being oblivious that certain types of factual statements could be offensive to other people), it immediately came to my head that some of these situations are more due to E5 than due to INFP. The INFP 9s I know for example are slightly different.

You make a fair point about disagreeing for the sake of avoiding "groupthink"/"groupfeel". I admit I've seen INFPs doing that, even the most pacifist ones. I'm just not sure I would call this behavior bluntness.
 
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Why are INTPs' questions so annoying?
🤣

I understand both of you, and you're both right. INTP is only slightly out of context regarding what INFJ is asking.

From an INTJ, INFP can be generally more sensitive than INFJ. And a certain INFP can be wired to step on the toe of an INFJ and vice versa. But not as much as an ESTP (or an INTP) would step on an INFJs toe 😆

Conclusion, a certain INFP can be TOO blunt for an INFJ (unintentionally, and based on perspectives, as INTP SAID) but that's generally unlikely as they're both intuitive feelers (as OP said). INFP has more regard for feelings and are less likely to appear blunt to INFJ. Especially if the INFJ has been exposed to thinkers that are clueless in the feelings game.

A cold 💙 for the intuitive feelers. ✌
 

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I strongly disagree. NFJs can be notoriously pushy when it comes to their visions (Ni) and convictions - when taken to extremes, unfortunately, this tendency can create someone like Hitler (lol). This happens because what the Fe user sees as harmony is not always perceived by others as harmonious.

INFP's aren't obliged to anybody else, but on the other hand, they don't have much of an agenda to influence others like NFJs do, either. They are very respectful of other points of view (Ne) and different ways to express one's individuality.

Edit: Of course, this doesn't mean every NFJ is a forceful pushy Hitler-like personality, but I've definitely seen that happening. I've never seen the same force of expression and will to influence other people and groups in INFPs.
They have an Ni vision, but that strong moral conviction comes from F, not Ni.
In particular, it's the Fi's that will push their moral convictions harder because they're taking them way more seriously than Fe.

I've never heard a Dom Fe say "if you can't understand the importance of this moral, then we can't be friends". But I've heard MANY Fi Doms say things like that. And sometimes even worse.
 
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