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I think of myself as transparent, but I don't think most other people understand the way I act. Even in personality forums, people go off of the horrible descriptions they find online.

Some common misconceptions:
-we have no feelings
-we're not creative
-we're all thrill seeking monkeys instead of intellectuals (we're a mix :tongue:)
-we don't care about knowledge
-we're cold and cruel (this is the least accurate)
etc.

Things I see on other forums are all gross misconceptions which fuel disdain or just confusion.

Are we really so secretive? Do people really have no clue who we are inside? I think that even my NT and NF friends are confused by me, which disappoints me considering their intuition.
 

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In conversation, my ISTP tends to talk about the technical, objective side of things. If it's not that then he likes to keep discussions fun, light and witty.

Neither of those things qualify as deep, intimate or vulnerable (and it's only revealing to a degree), which is why people see ISTPs as mysterious or "secretive".

The closest thing to a deep personal conversation I have with my ISTP is when he gets to talking about what he wants to do in the near future (and also when he expresses frustration with the inefficiency of certain people). Then I can infer his core values and what he's not satisfied with presently. (But he rarely talks about things that *deeply* bother him). Also, his needs are really very simple and don't need much discussion, analysis, or sympathy, which is how a lot of people get to know each other.

For my ISTP, bonds are forged with time and mutual adventures, where the other person will eventually see that despite the superficial interactions, the loyalty goes very deep, and that that's a pretty valuable commodity in a true friend.
 

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We suck at making friends because we really don't see the point in investing in a relationship with someone when we know that it means nothing; in other words, we have a tendancy to be very upfront, seeing and reacting to things according to what they really are. It's not a bad trait to have.

An example: My common reaction to strong extroverts is to be friendly and civil, but not to go out of my way to talk to them. This is because I have no interest in the kinds of relationships they form (numerous, but shallow) and will take the interactions entirely at face value. Over time, these people talk less and less to me until we barely register on one anothers radar - I'm not saying that I dislike them or that I deliberately snub them or anything, I'm just saying that when I give into a friendship I give into it with my all, something which I'm not willing to do unless I'm certain they're going to be giving the same back.

In reality, it makes me seem very aloof, weird and non-social most days. Haters gonna hate.
 

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This is because I have no interest in the kinds of relationships they form (numerous, but shallow) and will take the interactions entirely at face value.
I suppose 90% of my relationships might be called "shallow," in terms of the depth of attachment and understanding I have to/about the other person (as opposed to shallow meaning motivation.) I tend to call those acquaintances, or co-workers, or neighbors.

10% are just the opposite. I call those "friends."
 

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We suck at making friends because we really don't see the point in investing in a relationship with someone when we know that it means nothing; in other words, we have a tendancy to be very upfront, seeing and reacting to things according to what they really are. It's not a bad trait to have.

An example: My common reaction to strong extroverts is to be friendly and civil, but not to go out of my way to talk to them. This is because I have no interest in the kinds of relationships they form (numerous, but shallow) and will take the interactions entirely at face value. Over time, these people talk less and less to me until we barely register on one anothers radar - I'm not saying that I dislike them or that I deliberately snub them or anything, I'm just saying that when I give into a friendship I give into it with my all, something which I'm not willing to do unless I'm certain they're going to be giving the same back.

In reality, it makes me seem very aloof, weird and non-social most days. Haters gonna hate.
It's not just extroverts who have shallow relationships. There are introverts who only care about other people according to *their* terms, like they just need a project or a sounding board instead of really seeing the individual across from them. It's just shallow people who have shallow relationships.
 

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I suppose 90% of my relationships might be called "shallow," in terms of the depth of attachment and understanding I have to/about the other person (as opposed to shallow meaning motivation.) I tend to call those acquaintances, or co-workers, or neighbors.

10% are just the opposite. I call those "friends."
It's not just extroverts who have shallow relationships. There are introverts who only care about other people according to *their* terms, like they just need a project or a sounding board instead of really seeing the individual across from them. It's just shallow people who have shallow relationships.
When I use the term 'shallow' I mean entirely by my own perspective; I don't mean to imply that these relationships are wrong and in any way bad. Bad term to use. Sometimes a 'shallow' friendship is good precisely because these are the kinds of people you can just go out and have no strings attached fun with; I do understand that extroverts need these people in their lives to remain sane, I just don't personally share the need. Ergo why I accidentally upset people when I don't jump up and down like an excited puppy as soon as we clap eyes.

@Seamaid I absolutely agree, but if an ISTP is forming those kinds of friendships it's most likely because they are very unhealthy. This might not apply to all ISTPs, but some of use come with a built in 'bullshit detector' where we can instantly tell if someone is being fake or putting on a front. Generally, I tend to want to be friends with people for who they are rather than who they think I want them to be.
 

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I don't speak in-depth because no one understands the way I see things. They either make something more complex or more simple than it actually is, and ruin the discussion. I've learned to share things that really bother me, as it's the quickest way to resolution. But I'll only do so with a worthy person, and those are more rare than diamond plated elephant turds.

My ESFP lady found my reddit account name recently, and stalked me for a while. As I'm much more open online, she got a good insight into my twisted mind :)
 

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-we're not creative
at least that one is absolutely true for me.

take a look at the last 20 threads here and show me more than 5 examples of ISTPs who showed feelings, showed a warm, loving or intellectual side of their personality. and that's only online-interaction which is less exhausting by far.

i present the thrillseeking, cold and cruel being with no feelings, because it's the least tiring way of (real) social interaction.
exceptions are made for people who are potential friends but not used to behavior like that (yet). people i don't know/don't like or are just irrelevant to me will never see anything else.

and why would anyone expect me not to be what i show?
 

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I also find myself scared to be found out. Other people consider me a puzzle which they need to solve, but what happens after that? I always found that a little terrifying...
I cant remember who said it first but I agree - ISTPs are onions. You aren't to be solved you are to be discovered.
 

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TBH...I would say in general yes...other types are confused by ISTPs. It's not a bad thing. I find it takes time to get to know an ISTP. I mean what do you expect when you represent a very small amount of the population?? Of course other types are going to be confused.

Ironically, one of the teenagers asked about my ISTP son today and her first comment was "insert my son's name" is different. And, I chimed in he certainly is. I added he's not like most people. Yet she is totally crushing on him because she walks from the bus stop with him every single day.
 

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Yet she is totally crushing on him because she walks from the bus stop with him every single day.
What a whore.


I think of myself as transparent, but I don't think most other people understand the way I act.
Hahaha, I know.

Are we really so secretive? Do people really have no clue who we are inside?
Nope. But I think we have filters and sort people into bins for what type/how much information they are going to get, which removes the big picture for a person.
 

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I know right? I better get my whore-deterrent spray out...something tells me I will be needing it from here on out.... LMAO! :laughing::laughing:
Actually there are various plans that are low stress for the mother. The one I am recommending at this time is your son growing out half a fro, and keeping the other side tightly shaven. It's like this:
 

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Actually there are various plans that are low stress for the mother. The one I am recommending at this time is your son growing out half a fro, and keeping the other side tightly shaven. It's like this:
LMAO! Nope I don't think so. My spray will be much more effective. The solution is never for my son to subject himself to looking like an assclown.
 

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LMAO! Nope I don't think so. My spray will be much more effective. The solution is never for my son to subject himself to looking like an assclown.
I'm pretty sure it's impossible for an ISTP to look like an assclown. Logically, it doesn't make sense to attract such attention.
 
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We suck at making friends because we really don't see the point in investing in a relationship with someone when we know that it means nothing;...
when I give into a friendship I give into it with my all, something which I'm not willing to do unless I'm certain they're going to be giving the same back.

In reality, it makes me seem very aloof, weird and non-social most days. Haters gonna hate.
^yep. When it comes to friendships, I tend to be very passive. I instinctively watch people. If someone shows interest in being my friend, over time (like 2 years or more) I will interact with them on their initiative, but they darn well better be consistent~their words matching their actions~otherwise all they will see of me is my back. IF over time, they seem genuine and trust-worthy, I will gradually open up to them. The reward for them? Unfailing loyalty.
 
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