[Prometheus92]

I'm just wondering because I've been hearing how unemotional I am for most of my life, specifically from my ESFJ mom. She and other people always comment on how I don't show the appropriate emotions when I should. For example, I don't really smile when I'm happy or yell my when someone says something that would send most people into a rage. A friend of mine once told me that my perpetual calm was abnormal. And the thing is that I do have strong feelings but the need to express them externally has always seemed pointless to me. Any other INTPs commonly perceived this way by others?

 

[Ablysmal]

Always.

I don't have the desire to express my emotions, and I just don't know how either.

 

[alexande]

I also am a sufferer of the perpetual calm.

 

[qingdom]

This is me being normal. :dry:

This is me smirking in real life. :dry:

This is me finding humor in something funny in real life. :dry:

This is me feeling sad. :sad:

This is me cringing at the presence of stupidity or annoyance. :frustrating:

This is me during meetings.

This is me feeling guilty that I ate someones' birthday cake in the form of a tray of many little cupcakes with no further warning or notice to 'LAY OFF THE TRAY OF CUPCAKES OR ELSE!'

I don't see myself any different from anyone else... really.

 

[LadyO.W.BernieBro]

IDK.

I'm similar but I also yell out random things sometimes (not in an angry way) and have been known to be silly.

But I fall silent for a few hours when I should be chatty at some social gatherings. I'm not shy, it's like I have a word limit for the day and once I'v used all my words I just don't have anymore. I also have a flat expression much of the time because I'm just not paying attention to what's going on.

People have said things "Smile, it's alright" to me. Mostly strangers and lots of women get that kind of thing(also I look like i'm 14 so I get hassled more).

Nobody has told me they're bothered, I guess because I'm usually humorous it's less of an issue.

 

[qingdom]

I also am a sufferer of the perpetual calm.

I had to do a double take on this one.... my brain read it as:

"I also am a sufferer of the perpetual facepalm."

 

[Rift]

In my earlier years... other people seemed to have difficulty with accepting my answer of "it's okay" meaning that I'm overwhelmed with joy. Or accepting with my unknowing Ben Stein impression, that early monotone voice, that I wasn't actually depressed... though I did like the taste of klonopin.

 

[nadjasix]

Not bothered by it in the least.

 

[Prometheus92]

Thanks for all the replies guys.

But yeah I guess I just never understood the importance( if it really is that important) of showing others my feelings when I think it won't actually achieve something. But I guess others find the outward expression of emotions to be cathartic or relieving. So who am I to judge them? It would just be great to be extended the same courtesy of not being judged in return. But whatever...

 

[Wormwood]

I make a conscious effort to be more emotionally expressive. If I can expect people to respect the things that I am unwilling to compromise on, the least I can do is reciprocate. It makes them happy, and it doesn't inhibit me in the least. What's the deal?

 

[Laertes]

Huh, for me it's the opposite. People have told me they appreciate my calm and how I'm really good with crises. Then again, I'm a far cry from the stereotypical monotone, I speak very expressively (in terms of emphasis, inflection and so on) and love public speaking. The worst I've heard about this subject is that I apparently almost never smile - laugh, yes, and often, but not smile.

In fact, others are clearly bothered when I do express emotion, because it's usually in a rather immature way.

 

[Tophthetomboy]

They aren't seeing the right emotions at the right time I guess?

Mostly in school I'm just like... *EVERYONE DIE*

In public, *I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS OH GOD WHY*

Me with true friends: ASDFJKGLL:LS;l *PURE BLISS*



but yeah I've mostly been unemotional o_o. A lot of time, especially with more extroverted types, I have no idea how to react. It also seems I react only to things that are at its most extreme..

 

[nereus]

In earlier years my lack of expression, physical and emotional, nearly landed me with a psychiatrist. Most days I either; go full Monty or I fake facial expressions to throw people off my scent.
Oddly enough, simply adding a grimace or smirking offsets the fact that my voice never. changes. Not even once
Sometimes you just have to play the social interaction game to get what you want.
(Though somewhat tangential I feel this would also fit)
I get on with the acquaintances I've gained through my deadpan stare much better than those who've fallen prey to the INTP Chameleon skill. It still surprises me that there are people who'd hang out with a dead eyed dude like me.

 

[QuietStorm]

I have that problem... but when I was younger I was more expressive, so I guess that's why it would seem to be a more pronounced change in my personality. I used to cry a lot, smile a lot, I was shy - still am - but I would talk more once I got going.

Now ... I can sit in a room and basically disappear until someone speaks to me directly. And even then, I usually don't show much of a reaction ... I never really learned what reaction or emotion would be best for what situation.... that's my excuse.

 

[kikikins]

No I have a wide variety of dispositions, people don't really know what to call me. The only consistent description i have ever received was that I am very unpredictable with my reactions. Although with oral arguments, there is always one judge that tells me to be more emotive during my argument but other judges appreciate my calmness. If I am just around friends, I am full of different expressions and I do smile a lot unless I am day dreaming or something.

 

[Playful Proxy]

I am actually pretty expressive with specific emotions. If I am happy, I see nothing wrong with showing I am happy. It is an emotion that can be controlled and has no side effects. Why not? If I were sad, upset, or angry, I may be more likely to bury them.

 

[Promethea]

Some Fe types seem to just be accepting of it. Those are more wise in that way, accepting that there are different kinds of people. But then there are others who want to dig into you and pull some emotion out. Its distressing to me. I avoid them at any cost.

 

[Tanuchiro]

I just fake it.
That way my man thinks he's doing a good job....

No, but seriously, it does bother people. I've been faking it a lot lately, though. Granted, I'm socially awkward and generally inexpressive, so trying to be all open and expressive generally doesn't go ridiculously well.
I should stop.

 

[QuietStorm]

Well... if I didn't think my "emotionlessness" rubbed people the wrong way before today, I would have been out for a rude awakening today.
I've been dealing with a lot of crap from my family as well as the expected stress from the workload in my courses....
And today's been a crap day. And my 'friends' (I'd rather call them acquaintances because I really don't know them well yet...or trust them much) were just being douches ....
So I shut down, because it was either that or yelling at everyone and having them all gang up on me. I mean... I'm not scowling at anyone, just staring at my screen quietly and not talking to anyone (they're being pretty juvenile anyway ... it would annoy anyone who wasn't in the same state of mind as them... I mean, there's a workshop thing going on and they're yelling and carrying on)...
And they all just started tiptoeing around me -- and I would tell them 'I'm fine' any other time ... but I just don't feel up to wearing my mask right now.

*shrug* If that's not proof, I don't know what is. Sorry....(!) that turned into a rant....

 

[GuiltySinfulBlade]

To be honest around the family I HAVE TO express my emotions quite a lot because when I act like my real self, or I at least think its the real me, they tend to ask me if I am having problems or that I look mad. Which at that time I feel extremely agitated and I wanna punch something. As far as I can tell I have been putting on an act for pretty much most of my life, so its a habit now that I either act like clown or some kind of gentleman. Only when I am alone I feel most relaxed.