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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't know many ENFPs and only one that I've known a few years and I've got fairly close to (platonically, not romantically) this last year.

I feel like he's a more enthusiastic, more affectionate, bouncy version of myself. I don't need to think about where he's coming from. I guess he feels the same since he's the first person to drop a comment that stopped me in my tracks, with the realisation of 'Wow, he knows my underlying motives! Cool! Also, how annoying!' :laughing:

Anyway, I know I'm often misunderstood, but he seems to be misunderstood to a greater extent than I am. People are really suspicious of his motives and intentions. His reputation is that he's immoral and can't be trusted. I've fell out with half my family defending him because they've heard rumours about him and refuse to put them aside until they find out for themself. No matter how much he proves himself, people seem to play down his good deeds, yet jump on every single fk up he makes (he does fk up a lot, but his heart's in the right place) as proof that they were right all along.
One family member even said he's "too nice"! Wtf? Like it's a mask hiding his evil intentions. Yet, when he refuses to kiss ass and tells them some home truths, they hate him even more for that.

I'm very accurate with my judgements of people anyway and I'm totally convinced he's a genuine decent person. Often when he makes mistakes it seems to be because he's trying to please too many people.

Does this happen to ENFPs often?

If so, are people suspicious of your motives just because they can't imagine being kind without gaining something from it?

Or are there other reasons for this?
 

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As far as I know (And I'm pretty sure I know..) everyone views me as very trustworthy. I work hard to make sure I have people's trust, just in case I need to lie about something important (To protect them.). People aren't suspicious of me at all.
Although I guess it's clear to everyone that I relish responsibility and always do my best for people, so that's why they trust me.
 

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In my small group of friends, there is an ENFP. He's a great guy, but he has strong opinions and values which can make him come across as stubborn, especially to TPs. I don't think anyone is suspicious of him - in fact you get what you see with him which is nice.

As for trust, I wouldn't trust him with anything deeply personal, but I don't know an extrovert that I would to be fair.
 

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His Majesty
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Many of us ENFPs are so altruistic that people may peg us a "fake" and thus are not trustworthy. When we make one mistake then they are the first ones to say "See?! I knew he/she couldn't be trusted!"

I hate to say it, but you can't please everyone. They are just going to have to discover how great he is on their own.
 

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His Majesty
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Oh, everyone trusts my girlfriend.

Actually, everyone wants her as a best friend or something. You guys are so amiable and stuff.
Thank you for that. But unfortunately not everyone is like that. We're like spiderman and many others are like J.J. Jameson.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
As far as I know (And I'm pretty sure I know..) everyone views me as very trustworthy. I work hard to make sure I have people's trust, just in case I need to lie about something important (To protect them.). People aren't suspicious of me at all.
Although I guess it's clear to everyone that I relish responsibility and always do my best for people, so that's why they trust me.
Being trusted is also important to me,
I hate other people thinking I'm lying. It's frustrating.
He does let people down though, it's not intentional, but I guess others might see it as irresponsible through lack of consideration rather than lack of organisation.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Many of us ENFPs are so altruistic that people may peg us a "fake" and thus are not trustworthy. When we make one mistake then they are the first ones to say "See?! I knew he/she couldn't be trusted!"
Does that bother you though?

Personally, I don't care about other people's opinions of me, as long as they have their facts right about me in the first place.

He seems to feel bad about the trouble that's escalated from the original rumours, like he thinks it's his fault. Which it isn't.
 

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His Majesty
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Does that bother you though?

Personally, I don't care about other people's opinions of me, as long as they have their facts right about me in the first place.

He seems to feel bad about the trouble that's escalated from the original rumours, like he thinks it's his fault. Which it isn't.
I only care if that person MATTERS to me.
 

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My mum is very, very distrustful of ENFPs (she's an INFP) and it's very weird for me because I don't know anyone else who is. She literally despises my roommate. It's like she only sees her negative qualities -- which she definitely has, but they're pretty minute compared to the rest of her and she's generally a pretty hilarious, kind, loyal person. My boyfriend (INFJ) is slightly distrustful of her but I think that's only because she and I were going through a rough patch when he and I started dating and it was hard for him to watch her hurt me like she did. For myself, I wouldn't say that I'm distrustful about ENFPs, but when I do meet them unexpectedly irl, I get a little weird and standoffish because I'm not used to being as drawn to people (and liking them as irrationally I do) as I am to them. It's more like I'm shell-shocked, standing around with my mouth hanging open in awe like an dork :shocked:. My dad (ESTJ) is weirdly attracted to them.He finds them very whimsical and entertaining. He really loves watching my roommate spaz around performing in full-on Ne charm mode.
 
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Nope, i've never been told i'm not trustworthy. Its actually the complete opposite, people tell me things i don't care about, nor want to hear to the point i have to say, please, don't share, i'm not interested in knowing all that personal information.

Suspicious, i can relate with that word. I'm very suspicious of other people, always. I don't trust people who give me bad vibes, or who seem offish. I've never had anyone say they are suspicious of me, although because i'm not open about myself personally, this could lead them in believing i have something to hide. No, my life is non of your business and i won't give you the information you would so love to know. I can see why people would think that though, because sometimes when i don't know enough about a person i could become suspicious of them too. Overall i can't say with any of the ENFP i know, and i do know a few, including myself that anyone is suspicious.

Now curious, yes, people are always curious of me/ENFP friends. Maybe they're confusing the word suspicious with curious, because the ENFP i know are like myself, we keep our lives private, not like some ENFP who like to reveal everything about who they are on the same night, nope, not acceptable. So it comes down to the individual, not the type.
 
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I don't get the impression that anyone is suspicious of me.

Based on what several people I know have said, it seems that people try to explain away my unusual behavior and they end up thinking I'm a lot more like them than I am. It makes me wonder where they think these huge differences in the way we act come from. I see us as extremely different yet they see us as very much alike.

I guess I'm saying that I'm surprised people aren't more suspicious of me.
 

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I haven't ever felt like other's do not trust me and it has never been expressed to me. If anything it is the opposite. I am very trusting of most people, myself. I pretty much give everyone a chance until they have proven me wrong.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Some more detail, the trust issue centred around the rumour, which was that he'd manipulated a lot of money from someone else.

The other people thought this was his motive for being "too nice".

Strange that people prefer to believe the worst in someone, no matter how unreliable their 'information' is.
 

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I get "innocent" from people who read me too quickly (I don't think this is really true, but I do like positivity), and I have a whimsical part to me which can make people believe I'm less capable than I am, or untrustworthy I guess in the sense that I'm unreliable, none of which are true. I also like to sit back and get a reading on people and situations before I fully venture out, and I never venture out if I don't feel comfortable, but while I'm scoping things out I act agreeably unless someone does something I don't like.

It can be a little frustrating because while outwardly I can appear to be all over the place, inwardly I'm very structured, even moreso than people I've met who are outwardly very well put together. Only when I'm comfortable and like the person enough, I jump out and hug them :ninja:
 

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Well in terms of distrust, I can be for the most part but there's 2 things, well with me anyway.
Sometimes my ego and seeming arrogance (which is actually just me being real confident) can mess things up and on top of that when I stuff up at times, it can be pretty big, which is what people notice. Oh another thing, because I do try and be fair and try to show I feel for both sides some people may be curious of such motives. Like not picking sides or being on the fence, or acting like I'm gunning for both teams when really I just want everyone to get a piece of the pie.
 
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