[mdawn]

Simple question.. can people change their temperment? I have certain reasons why I am not happy with some of my INTJ personality traits. So I need some advice.. can people really change? Or is change impossible? Is change something that is inevitably just temporary/fake? Or can real change be acheived.

one example: my introversion. I find many faults with this. I push people away. And more often that not, I give off an aloof vibe.

 

[ENTrePenuer]

Simple question.. can people change their temperment? I have certain reasons why I am not happy with some of my INTJ personality traits. So I need some advice.. can people really change? Or is change impossible? Is change something that is inevitably just temporary/fake? Or can real change be acheived.

one example: my introversion. I find many faults with this. I push people away. And more often that not, I give off an aloof vibe.

no.

You only become more self aware.

Ask more questions.

 

[amiculus]

I believe we can change ourselves, to some degree. Over my lifetime I have learned a great deal, and it has changed me. I am more peaceful, less willing to return hatred with hatred, less selfish, more generous -- among other things. Am I less introverted? That's difficult to measure, but probably somewhat. I find it easier to engage with new people. Less aloof, more approachable? Maybe...possibly not. The question is whether you truly want to change specific traits. If you are determined to change, and can devise a method to measure the change, I believe you can. Most of us, though we may be unhappy with certain parts of ourselves at times, deep down find good reasons for the way we are and so resist changing. Introversion, for example, may be inconvenient frequently. But do you really want to be an extrovert? Or even just less introverted? I think you know that will mean giving up certain valuable parts of your self.

I remember an episode of "The Simpsons" where Lisa attempted to fit in with the "IN" crowd at school (naturally extroverts). She adopted their hip clothes, language, mannerisms, attitudes, & activities (with Homer's help, if you can imagine). She was successful, but gave it up because it was just too shallow. It wasn't her.

I suggest you work on becoming a better person, however you may define that, which will help you accept yourself for the marvelous person you are. And introversion will be of great assistance in that endeavor.

 

[Filo]

You cannot change the core of you. You are and always will be a person that prefers being alone, prefers intellectual pursuits, is not a party animal, etc. What you can do is develop a bit. There is a big difference between the INTJ who won't go to parties, no matter what, and the INTJ who who is sort of okay if there are a handful of interesting people, and she can spend the next day reading.

I know for a fact that I've developed my Te and Fi quite a bit - it used to be a lot of navel-gazing Ni. I'm a better person for it, too. I can have a real, meaningful job, appreciate arts and literature, and be a shoulder to cry on for my friends and love interests.

 

[Paradox of Vigor]

Alike, this is a question i've yet to fully know the answer to. I do know some things though.

Scientific Perspective: synaptic connections within your brain form webs over years and years of thinking the same way. These are nearly impossible to break you see, and I think for temperament, it is impossible.

My Perspective: Just doens't make sense that someone could change it on command, at least not permanently. And if you could change it permanently, how would it be permanent?

 

[mdawn]

I believe we can change ourselves, to some degree. Over my lifetime I have learned a great deal, and it has changed me. I am more peaceful, less willing to return hatred with hatred, less selfish, more generous -- among other things. Am I less introverted? That's difficult to measure, but probably somewhat. I find it easier to engage with new people. Less aloof, more approachable? Maybe...possibly not. The question is whether you truly want to change specific traits. If you are determined to change, and can devise a method to measure the change, I believe you can. Most of us, though we may be unhappy with certain parts of ourselves at times, deep down find good reasons for the way we are and so resist changing. Introversion, for example, may be inconvenient frequently. But do you really want to be an extrovert? Or even just less introverted? I think you know that will mean giving up certain valuable parts of your self.

I remember an episode of "The Simpsons" where Lisa attempted to fit in with the "IN" crowd at school (naturally extroverts). She adopted their hip clothes, language, mannerisms, attitudes, & activities (with Homer's help, if you can imagine). She was successful, but gave it up because it was just too shallow. It wasn't her.

I suggest you work on becoming a better person, however you may define that, which will help you accept yourself for the marvelous person you are. And introversion will be of great assistance in that endeavor.

thank you so much the best answer i will probably see. roud:

 

[cosmos]

I'd still like to see more evidence that temperaments are a hard-wired brain function. Somebody who is mature and well adjusted, who has developed their functions where the right attitude can be applied in the right situation, would be very difficult to categorize. Do these people exist? I believe they do.

 

[RericA]

The question you have voiced has been of some concern to me in the past as well. The whole Nature vs. Nurture thing comes to mind. It has been of huge debate in the world of psychology for years. The idea that someone is either pre-disposed via genes to end up one way or another, or, that weather genes play a role or not, it is one's experiences in life and what they take from them that decides who they are as a person.

in regards to Darwin, what with The Origin Of Species, which I take to be an insurmountable achievement in thinking, he provides a slightly different (to my view) approach, in that the genes are always searching for ways to change, and although a rabbit might be white, and his father was as well, he might have a brown rabbit for a kid, and if he doesn't get eaten, there will be more brown rabbits. This tells me that the little 'imperfections' we may see in ourselves are to be celebrated, if they are effective.

Regardless I have always been more on the nurture side of things, especially since thinking that we are predisposed to all of our decisions making, and that this is all just a big slice of destiny freaks me out.

google nature vs. nurture and you can come up on some studies. I would provide a link but i am apparently some sort of threat regarding spam.

 

[jazz6375]

The only way this is feasable are those in cases where they are a borderline with another temperament, which doesn't really apply to me because I'm a INTJ/INTP which both falls under rational. But some people could technically border between a rational and a guardian or some other combination. These people aren't really "changing" there temperament, but since they share commonality in more than one they can play more as one or the other depending on what the situation demands. Even in borderline cases there is still one that is the dominant tempermant. A real question I've been wondering myself is at what point in development does our personality type become decided or set? Does it happen from the moment of conception with how are genes are setup, or is it a result of childhood development, or even later on during puberty when we're trying to "figure" ourselves out?

On another note, I think some people that aren't happy with their personlity type and the obstacles that come with it may sometiems utilize drugs such as anti-depressants to try and "fake" being another personality type as you asked, instead of learning to cope with being who they are.

 

[TheWaffle]

You can consciously attempt to behave and think differently. But there's always a default mode you switch back to.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

I hear the brain is flexible, but yeah do what you can.

 

[dagnytaggart]

Simple question.. can people change their temperment? I have certain reasons why I am not happy with some of my INTJ personality traits. So I need some advice.. can people really change? Or is change impossible? Is change something that is inevitably just temporary/fake? Or can real change be acheived.

one example: my introversion. I find many faults with this. I push people away. And more often that not, I give off an aloof vibe.

I don't see why you couldn't improve. But since you're 100% I, you've got a long way to go. Except for trauma perhaps, you might not ever make it to the E side.

But, that said:

1. Being an E wouldn't change your temperament anyway. You'd just be an extroverted NT.
2. Sociability =/= MBTI Extroversion
3. It sounds like you're lamenting a lack of Fe. Which, if developed, WOULD theoretically change your temperament. (to what, I don't know. INFJ maybe? So still an introvert.)

We're not MBTI tested at birth, so who's to say if our type HASN'T changed since birth. When you take the MBTI test, it's just a snapshot of your current lifestyle, not the whole "photo album" so to speak.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, yes, your tested type can probably change. And who knows what our true preferences really are, because with conditioning and all, it's easy to lose awareness of our NATURAL instincts. *shrug*

 

[petals of stone]

I think its is possible to change yourself.

I was an ESFP when I was little but I am an INTJ, now, which is a complete change. But the way I see it, these changes can't be made by forcing yourself to. If you force yourself, like the Lisa example- eventually you would realise its not the real you and you revert back to your default mode.

However, I don't see why you can't change your default function. If it has hapenned to me, it can to anyone. It will take time..a long, long time. And you won't be able to force yourself into it. It will likely happen by its own accord. Say some point in time you realise that you understand people a lot for a typical INTJ. In fact, your ability to empathise has bceome so great that you use Fe for your auxiliary function and similar changes. And then, you realise you are more an INFJ than an INTJ.

Despite this, I recommend that you don't try to become someone else you are not. If you are unhappy with some of your traits, try to develop as a whole person so that your weak points become smaller. That is to say, for eg- you are not that introverted that it affects you negatively. You would still be INTJ, just more developed in shadow functions and other areas.