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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Was hoping I could ask for a list, but I realized how hard that would be to do out of thin air.

So I think this INTJ guy I'm friends with might be interested in me, but not too sure. This guy has well developed Fi so its especially difficult to tell.

Ive made a checklist.

Please check "X" the box if you've noticed yourself do these things when interested in a friend or if you generally think these are signs of an INTJ being interested. You guys are good at hiding how you feel so its been hard for me to read this situation.

Playful Teasing [ ]

Goofing Around/ Joking [ ]

Doing Little Favors [ ]

Inviting To Places/ Activities [ ]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive [ ]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" ) [ ]

Talks About Feelings [ ]

Wants You To Get Deep [ ]

Looking Over At What You're Doing [ ]

Wants You To Speak More [ ]

Touches Your Stuff [ ]

Standing Too Close [ ]

Complimenting Personality [ ]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships [ ]

Intense/ Strong Eye Contact [ ]

In Group Conversations, Directs Eye Contact Towards Person Of Interest Despite Them Not Having Initated Or Involved [ ]

.....

These are just signs of being friends [ ]


The second last one is specific I know.

If you guys know any more signs of How An INTJ Friend Might Act Around You If Interested, please let me know. For all I know, these could be just signs of him trusting me as a friend which would be fine too. So please let me know. Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Ok, I am going to tell you, rather bluntly: If he is talking to you, he find's you interesting enough to be worth his time. If not, he won't bother. If he realigns his schedule just for you, he might like you or wants to study you more.

My qualifications in this? I am a Married INTJ.
Is that a .... yes?
 

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I am going to check the box probably interested in more than friendship.
Are you? If so, you mention he stands close to you yet no touching, would you consider breaking the touch barrier a little and see how it goes? Or pushing it a little further in some other "safe" way? Whatever information you get from this might be more relevant than my opinion about a guy that I ultimately do not know.
 

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Was hoping I could ask for a list, but I realized how hard that would be to do out of thin air.

So I think this INTJ guy I'm friends with might be interested in me, but not too sure. This guy has well developed Fi so its especially difficult to tell.

Ive made a checklist.

Please check "X" the box if you've noticed yourself do these things when interested in a friend or if you generally think these are signs of an INTJ being interested. You guys are good at hiding how you feel so its been hard for me to read this situation.

Playful Teasing [ ]

Goofing Around/ Joking [ ]

Doing Little Favors [ ]

Inviting To Places/ Activities [ ]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive [ ]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" ) [ ]

Talks About Feelings [ ]

Wants You To Get Deep [ ]

Looking Over At What You're Doing [ ]

Wants You To Speak More [ ]

Touches Your Stuff [ ]

Standing Too Close [ ]

Complimenting Personality [ ]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships [ ]

.....

These are just signs of being friends [ ]




If you guys know any more signs of How An INTJ Friend Might Act Around You If Interested, please let me know. For all I know, these could be just signs of him trusting me as a friend which would be fine too. So please let me know. Thanks
Playful Teasing
[I do this with most of my good friends]

Goofing Around/ Joking
[Same as above]

Doing Little Favors
[Same as above, sometimes I just like being helpful]

Inviting To Places/ Activities
[I guess it depends on the frequency of his invitations, is he trying to hang out with you every day/weekend possible? I invite people to stuff sometimes without any deeper intentions, just for the sake of having fun y'know.]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive
[Probably wouldn't say something like this if I wasn't attracted unless they asked a question beforehand]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" )
[Depends on the frequency once again probably]

Talks About Feelings
[Could just be really close friends]

Wants You To Get Deep
[^]

Looking Over At What You're Doing
[?]

Wants You To Speak More
[Maybe he likes what you have to say]

Touches Your Stuff
[What stuff?]

Standing Too Close
[Wouldn't do this unless I felt comfortable around or attracted to someone]

Complimenting Personality
[Could go either way, some people are just enjoyable to be around]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships
[Depends on the context but could be a sign.]

___

In conclusion, I think he considers you a close friend at the minimum. He may or may not be romantically interested, but there are a few potential clues to suggest that he might be thinking of you in that way. If you want to be more certain before you do anything about this, maybe observe how he interacts with any of his other (close) female friends and use that as a baseline to compare against his behavior towards you.
 

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He could. Although I do all of these things with friends, including telling them they're attractive if they are handsome/pretty. A good relationship starts with friendship, so the person probably wouldn't be able to tell that I'm romantically interested if I don't say anything.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Playful Teasing
[I do this with most of my good friends]

Goofing Around/ Joking
[Same as above]

Doing Little Favors
[Same as above, sometimes I just like being helpful]

Inviting To Places/ Activities
[I guess it depends on the frequency of his invitations, is he trying to hang out with you every day/weekend possible? I invite people to stuff sometimes without any deeper intentions, just for the sake of having fun y'know.]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive
[Probably wouldn't say something like this if I wasn't attracted unless they asked a question beforehand]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" )
[Depends on the frequency once again probably]

Talks About Feelings
[Could just be really close friends]

Wants You To Get Deep
[^]

Looking Over At What You're Doing
[?]

Wants You To Speak More
[Maybe he likes what you have to say]

Touches Your Stuff
[What stuff?]

Standing Too Close
[Wouldn't do this unless I felt comfortable around or attracted to someone]

Complimenting Personality
[Could go either way, some people are just enjoyable to be around]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships
[Depends on the context but could be a sign.]

___

In conclusion, I think he considers you a close friend at the minimum. He may or may not be romantically interested, but there are a few potential clues to suggest that he might be thinking of you in that way. If you want to be more certain before you do anything about this, maybe observe how he interacts with any of his other (close) female friends and use that as a baseline to compare against his behavior towards you.
Thanks @Wolf

Hahah wasn't trying to be elusive by saying touching my stuff but like your style :tongue:

To be honest, we haven't actually talked THAT much. That's why I'm a bit confused but maybe quantity isn't exactly what he's factoring in here. Thanks for the tips. I haven't really thought about that.
 
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Discussion Starter #10

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Discussion Starter #11
He could. Although I do all of these things with friends, including telling them they're attractive if they are handsome/pretty. A good relationship starts with friendship, so the person probably wouldn't be able to tell that I'm romantically interested if I don't say anything.
Jeez, so how am I meant to know? Aside from asking and making things more awkward than they already are between two introverted thinking types?
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I am going to check the box probably interested in more than friendship.
Are you? If so, you mention he stands close to you yet no touching, would you consider breaking the touch barrier a little and see how it goes? Or pushing it a little further in some other "safe" way? Whatever information you get from this might be more relevant than my opinion about a guy that I ultimately do not know.
Whenever I think of touching, I think of it as being either flirtatious or overly affectionate and I just don't see him as being open with his feelings in that kind of way...Is that what you mean though?
 

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I'm not intj but from what i observed, don't bother to read them. Not all intjs are the same. Some will do the list above because they're so comfortable with the person and regarded them as friends but be very so awkward with their romantic interest.

I think if they like you enough and are serious enough they will ask you / tell you directly


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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Is that a .... yes?
It is a possibility. If he is interested, he will make time, and he won't even bother. It could be he finds you as a friend. It could be he finds you attractive. I know it isn't what you want to hear, but it is the truth. You get to know him, share some interests he will open up more. My wife will tell you I was a hard individual to figure out. Still am. She just learned how to identify specific cues to know if I am angry, happy, sad, etc. But she does know if she wants something, or has a problem, even if she doesn't tell me, I solve it. For example, she goes to nursing school, hates traffic, I found a route that was shorter and less traffic for her. It took her a while to realize I heard her frustration and took time to solve it rather than tell her I was or why I did. I guess that is another indicator. INTJs, if they love someone, they ten to solve that person's problems and show, in a strange way, they care and support that person.
 

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That all sounds like normal INTJ behavior in platonic friendships. The best way to find out is to ask; that's why someone responded with "probably"; we don't know. They could be signs of interest, but I'm more of the mind that INTJs don't give any signs; we just tell you if we are when we're ready to. We are direct and deliberate so that there are no misunderstandings. Send him this thread from you about him; he should appreciate someone else wanting resolve/to know something/to not have to guess and or ask or rely on what strangers say.
 

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I'm gonna sound like a broken record and/or parrot and say it looks like they see you as a really close friend. But don't despair, INTJ's make pretty good friends! Even if we don't always understand each other :frustrating:
 

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Ive made a checklist.
Please check "X" the box if you've noticed yourself do these things when interested in a friend or if you generally think these are signs of an INTJ being interested. You guys are good at hiding how you feel so its been hard for me to read this situation.

Avocado, Bell Peppers, Olive Oil (&) Hummus [XxX]
 

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Playful Teasing []

Goofing Around/ Joking [ ]

Doing Little Favors [X]

Inviting To Places/ Activities [ ]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive [ ]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" ) [ ]

Talks About Feelings [ ]

Wants You To Get Deep [X]

Looking Over At What You're Doing [X]

Wants You To Speak More [X]

Touches Your Stuff [ ]

Standing Too Close [ ]

Complimenting Personality [X]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships [ ]

Intense/ Strong Eye Contact [X]

In Group Conversations, Directs Eye Contact Towards Person Of Interest Despite Them Not Having Initated Or Involved [X]

These are just signs of being friends [ ]

I would have ticked the others if I was already in a relationship, or at least dating the person. but if I'm dating the person, they would know I'm dating them, because I told them so.
 
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