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What if this were a friend you started to feel interested in, would you guys show any signs? (Not by accident, deliberately)
If I believe he's already interested or at least open to the possibility of a relationship, sure, I'll hint, mirror, be receptive/open, give some push/pull, flirt where appropriate. I tend to be more let the guy chase/lead but in reality it's very much a two active participant game. When I like someone it's very difficult not to show signs. I'm mortified when I catch myself twirling the ends of my long hair without realizing I'm doing it (lol). But then I'm delighted if I 'catch' him doing something (subconsciously) that's a dead give away.

Like would you show more interest talking to them than others, or text them a whole lot?
It really depends on the dynamic and how far along we are. Sometimes people ignore the one they like. Other times they show special treatment. A sudden increase in interest/communication from a 'friend' is likely a tell. As I said in my previous post, don't just look for signs, look for changes.
 

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Playful Teasing [close friends]

Goofing Around/ Joking [ ^]

Doing Little Favors [what kinds of favors?]

Inviting To Places/ Activities [ what kinds of activities? :p]

Admitting To Finding You Attractive [X]

"You & Me" Mentality (e.g. "Smart like you and me", "we're close friends", "we dont talk about superficial things" ) [eh. could go either way on this one]

Talks About Feelings [could be close friends]

Wants You To Get Deep [^ actively seek this in potential friends]

Looking Over At What You're Doing [maybe just finds you interesting... how so?]

Wants You To Speak More [close friends]

Touches Your Stuff [? this doesn't have a romantic connotation to me really. but depends on what kind of stuff. if it's clothing or more of a personal item, maybe]

Standing Too Close [X]

Complimenting Personality [possibly]

Asks About Your Thoughts Around Relationships [possibly]

Intense/ Strong Eye Contact [could be Sx ;)]

In Group Conversations, Directs Eye Contact Towards Person Of Interest Despite Them Not Having Initated Or Involved [could just be closer to you than everyone else]

.....

These are just signs of being friends [maybe]

From the only two things I definitively X'd out plus the "maybe"'s/"possibly"'s.. I guess the biggest hints are physical things, like saying you're attractive, standing close, possibly touching personal belongings, etc.

I tend to keep a lot of personal space between myself and others, which in my mind is like a boundary/respect thing, but also a projection of my own desire for a lot of personal space. So standing "too close" is normally something I'd try to avoid doing, since I personally would perceive that as some kind of violation. And I tend not to feel a need for physical closeness in platonic situations, except on rare occasions with family.

I think I want physical distance to correspond to psychological. So I wouldn't want anything or do anything that'd create very little personal space, unless in my mind I was close to that person. I also generally don't comment on women's appearance if I'm not attracted to them, unless they ask me something specific. And I certainly wouldn't say someone is attractive if I wasn't subjectively attracted to them (there's objective attraction, but that's not the same as physical attraction).

Personal belongings, again I'm not sure exactly what you mean there. Discussing relationships -- really depends. A lot of women initiate those discussions with me themselves. My continuing to stay on the subject =/= interested.

Where and how is he looking over at what you're doing? For ex. at work would be different than say at home or someplace else where there aren't a lot of other people around.

And as far as complimenting your personality or saying you share certain positive qualities, I'd say that depends more on how often he's doing it, how matter-of-fact he sounds when saying it (as opposed to enthusiastic in some way), and also what types of traits. Like if they're more about how you relate to him (like being "understanding", "kind", stuff like that) then I'd lean more towards him being interested. Stuff like smart, funny etc, could just be complimenting you as a friend.

I added the bit about Ennea SX because of the tendency, as a general social behavior, to focus in on one person, sometimes in an "intense" way, if you have this as a primary or secondary instinct (though with secondary, there's also going to be that tendency towards solitude).
 

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In general INTJs rarely initiate physical contact, so if you notice he touches you this could be a sign. If he touches you gently, you can feel it is soft and you feel the tension it is rather obvious ;)

Eye contact not so much, as some of us are really self-confident, so we typically are good at this. However, if he doesn't have problem with maintaining eye contact with other people (especially watch what happens with him talking to other girls), and suddenly he has problems with looking into your eyes, that's a dead giveaway. If the eye contact is strong, same applies, look if he makes this same kind of eye contact with others, if not you know the answer. Also, look if he raises his eyebrows (just for a short second) the moment he sees you or your eyes meet, if there is a spark in his eyes like he wasn't prepared to see you (but this requires you haven't see each other for some time, maybe even a week). If this happens it means he is excited to see you and attracted to you.

I don't make any comments on attractiveness, unless I'm interested, because I don't want to lead somebody on. It's different if both sides tease each other and know it's just for fun, but still it requires that both parties know the rules.
 

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What if this were a friend you started to feel interested in, would you guys show any signs? (Not by accident, deliberately)
Like would you show more interest talking to them than others, or text them a whole lot?
it's sounding to me like you want to pre-hedge every single incremental little bet and get us to assure you the deck is perfectly stacked before you'll even draw breath in his presence on your own recognizance. but that can't be done. we don't all turn on the same dime at the same time and around the same axis like a flock of human seagulls. as i think others have said, there have been friendships in my own life that were entirely platonic but still had the pure weight and force of 'relationships'. so if it's worth anything, this is one intj who can/could show many or most of those 'signs' to a friend if the friend was important enough. it wouldn't mean i was interested in any relationship in the standard 'relationship' sense.

imo you don't have any way out of just asking him here. or living with the ambiguity and not asking him.
 
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