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I humbly apologize. It was not my intention to offend in any way. It seemed to me the recurring theme in the relationships you described was pretty straightforward. I don't get your analogy at all.
ESTP - Kissed as though he was hungry for a piece of meat. We didn't have sex.

Why was the ESTP a bad kisser? One, for more or less the same reason that scarfing down your food without chewing it is a bad strategy for eating. Two, for what that revealed about his attitude. Even though I didn't know he was looking for one last stand before his wedding, he certainly did broadcast a certain oafish greed.



ENTP - Squeezed his eyes shut & panted like a dog. Movements were overly repetitious, unembellished, to the point of being mechanical. Later admitted he'd been fantasizing about his crush.

Why was the ENTP bad? For the same reason that an actor sucks if he goes onstage, squeezes his eyes shut, and spits out his lines, all the while imagining that he's somewhere else.



ENTJ - To his credit, and totally unlike the ENTP, his mind was in the game. His problem was that he was too cerebral & too talkative. If I'd realized that that was the problem, sure, I'd have advised him on it. At the time, I assumed that either (a) sex was overhyped in general, or (b) I just didn't care for it that much, or both. Had nothing better to contrast with.

Why was the ENTJ bad? For the same reason an actor's performance is bad when you keep seeing him thinking while he's onstage, unable to delve into the role. At least he's giving it everything he's got, but due to overthinking, he "gets in his own way". To be fair to the ENTJ, he was certainly better than the ENTP.



That's two people who were bad at sex, and one who probably would have been, judging by his approach to kissing. Whether that's two or three, I still don't see a pattern. You can be one of these three things re sex: good at it, bad at it, or so-so at it. You can be anywhere on a scale of goodness and badness, but it's still either zero, negative, or positive. It's also hard to be exactly at zero, and none of them was. So IMO it should take more than two to determine that there's a pattern. If one had been bad and two had been good, that wouldn't be a pattern either. If you include the ESTP bad kisser, then it's 3:1. Still not a significant ratio when I'm only using two categories: good and bad.

The reasons they were bad are different. Two were matters of attitude: the ESTP and the ENTP. Again, I don't say the ESTP was bad at sex, because I don't know; he was just a bad kisser. The ENTJ's problem with sex wasn't his attitude; it was something that I think he couldn't control.



Jealousy

The jealousy issue also only occurred with two of them; I don't see a pattern there, either. Neither the ESTP nor the ENTP was jealous. You could make the observation that the two who were jealous were the same two who were neither (a) about to get married nor (b) focused on someone else, though. It would be fair to assume that those are related.

The INFP, however, doesn't want anyone else, but also isn't possessive towards me, so he doesn't fit that mold. He's also the only one who was worth keeping around. :jazz::heart:
 

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Never been in a relationship but both people who confessed their feelings to me (which I rejected) had issues, one of them (male) being on the autistic spectrum, possibly depressed all while trying to manipulate me by threatening to hurt himself (which I, to make that clear, did not give a shit about which I also made clear) and turned into a cyberstalker. I never implied any sort of interest in even a friendship; due to his inexperience in relationships he might have interpreted my basic decency for some kind of connection. Known me for literally an hour and became obsessed. Threatened to kill himself, rejects my rejections constantly, claims that "people without love in their lives die earlier than those who receive love" (which, at this point, I would very much welcome). Very umcomfortable. To put in very light terms.

The other one being a friend of mine (female) with severe depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies.

Her issues had made it difficult to say some things which ended the friendship abrubtly; partly also because of my inability to give her the support she needed, and due to issues I was/am dealing with myself, as it was emotionally stressful because of her suicidal tendencies. I am not in the place to help her as of now, and sadly we parted; however, I still love her, but I am not in a good state myself to help her.

As it seems, this is the kind of people I attract.

However, the difference is that I love(d) my friend dearly (platonically that is) while I could not care less about the other one.
 

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Succeed or learn.

Or.

Succeed or repeat the same mistake.

The first will become successful eventually.
The latter, not that much.
 

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Humans are creatures of habit and like things and people that are familiar. We are attracted to people that we feel might complete us. This is often depicted as begin attracted to our opposites, but more accurately it is being attracted to aspects of a person that fills something we lack while also feeling familiar.

Thus, I think it's only natural to develop a sort of dating pattern formulated around meeting your specific psychological needs. Even if your relationships aren't very similar to past ones, there's usually at least one thing in common that attracted you to them all.
Most wouldn't admit.

Also, most wouldn't admit that gender bring different pattern. At least for men, there will be higher chance that they have more clear and definite pattern, even when they are in their most adventurous mode.

Sent sans PC
 

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Interesting. I've mostly dated people who were really different.

Maybe it's about recognizing our own personal patterns of attachment? As long as you have insight into your childhood history, and understand areas where you feel could blind you, you're not bound to repeat the same mistakes.

It's good to invest wisely in the people we chose to get to know. It's great to meet new people, but at the same time, it's also good to question "Is this person repeating similar patterns to functional verses dysfuncational aspects of my upbringing?" And decide on that. PUA has really ruined dating. So be on a lookout for red flags, behaviors you will or will not tolerate. Your time is precious!
 

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I graviate towards dark hair that is straight or wavy. Tan to fair skin. Body type: none really I like them thin, athletic, standard, curvy. Personality I've dated all over the rainbow pretty much. I like SFPs with common interests. Others have potential but I haven't click as well with them. Si dom/aux and myself are often at odds because tradition and myself don't mix.

NFs tend to come off interesting at first but then weird and too philosophical and there's this weird inner turmoil that I don't care enough to unravel. I've dated plenty of them.

SFJs strike me as attractive often but then it falls apart when we discuss our interests. They're a bit too black and white and unlayered for me.
 
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