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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
ToHello everyone!
Well first i would like to say that i am new here so bare with me as i get used to th environment :) now for my reall post well for a while now I have had something on my mind
that is lately many people have been telling me that i am intimidating or ateast i was or am when someone first meets me. Yet no matter who i ask they all cant put their finger on what exactly it is about me that makes or made them feel this way. The only thing most people say might be the reason is that im strongly appinionated. For the most part most of them say it isn't bad to b intimidating as it means you are strong and can get what you want. I guess i think atleast this all has to do with the fact that i tend to have somewhat two different personalities combined which is common in infps from what i hear. And by that i mean i am a somewhat depressing yet still bubbly happy cute person. You know a bit negative at times and seriouse yet quirky and fun at others. I have considered maybe that is what kind of scares people the fact that they really dont know how to take me in. Some people hate it when i am happy and say its 'creepy' (those would be people who are tyipically more dark) others say im 'too depressing' those would be the happy people. I guess u can never please everyone. i guess the point o this thread is just to see if anyone can relate? I know this has been kind of long but i have really noticed this lately in fact i have so many stories that go along with it. But i think ill let you guys reply for a bit as i think i have written enough as is for now lol
 

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Personally, I'm not all intimidating. I've been told that I sometimes appear unapproachable, so that's as close as I'll get to a definition of "intimidating".

Others though on here have been able to pull off an intimidating look. So we can do it! :laughing:

(It's hard to look really intimidating for me)

I can relate though to being depressed, yet happy. My mood can vary depending on the mood of who I hang out with at the time. I've also been called either too negative or too idealistic by others.
 

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Ive been called it a couple of times but also have had the opposite reactions with others. Seem to be perceived as cold until people dig a little deeper. Thats why it can take a while to build up friendships because we are perhaps easily misinterpreted :dry:
 

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Yes, you basically just summed up the whole blessing and curse of being an INFP. I am, obviously, the same way. Most of my friends like me for my jokier/easy-going side (the one that doesn't come out in my writing), and I've noticed that when I get into a downtrodden funk (i.e. at classes), that's when only my closest friends want anything to do with me. It sounds solipsistic but every interaction you have with other people may as well be projected by yourself. That's true for everyone, not just INFP's, but they approach so much differently. An INFP who is met with rejection for the way that they act will try to realize frantically how they have failed, but will only really apply the insights they gain to their most intimate relationships. What is so strange is that the information will still affect the way that they carry themselves, whether that's for better or for worse.

Now the people that tell you to "be more positive" when you are feeling down, or simply acting stoically, really do not understand you and you shouldn't listen to them. My advice is just to stay the way that you are, regardless of whether or not you intimidate other people. We are not supposed to hit it off with other people all the time, and that especially is how INFP's are blessed and cursed: so often we'll only select friends or lovers who are good for us, but our sense of "quality control" might limit us in social situations. All that said, it's best to just keep up what you're doing, to not be deterred by what others say about your personality, and especially to not let anyone deem you as negative.
 

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Well, some boy at my school said he was scared of me when I was like 15, but I wouldn't quite say INFPs are intimidating. xD
If anything, we might look a little detached and feel unapproachable to others because of the constant daydreaming and not paying much attention to everyone around us (from my own experience :p), but 'intimidating' wouldn't be quite the word I'd use.
 

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I don't know about others, but as for me, I can be intimidating - sometimes. I think I seem too mysterious and secretive and introverted to others, and they end up thinking, "Well, she's weird. I won't even bother talking to her! It's easier to talk to a more approachable person". This usually happens when I'm at school, actually. When I'm in an environment I find pleasing and happy I become enthusiastic, excitable and approachable. But it feels like everyone thinks I'm this emotionless robot. People find that quite intimidating, I guess :sad:
 

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Most SP's I've met seem to find me intimidating. I think it's when I get philosophical
or theoretical - they seem to think that I'm 'too intelligent' for them.

However, compared to most infp's I am not particularly intellectual and consider that I'm of
average intelligence.

It's all relative I guess.
 

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From my experience, only one person, probably an ESFP, told me he wasn't intimidated by me. Everyone one else who I've asked in the past have told me they were hesitant to approach me, or said if they met me under different circumstances... they would had never approached me.

I've been told I am "tense" and "rigid." A boss of mine, before we became acquaintances, told my room mate once that he thought I hated working there because I was quiet and was always in a rush to leave.

People normally have a bad impression when they first meet me. Many, especially women, won't approach me. I have mostly friendly, outgoing extroverts who aren't afraid to approach. But even they find me intimidating.
 
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Discussion Starter #15
I dont even know were to start. This is so relieving knowing some people out there understand me completely. The thing is i am actually not physiclly intimidating. In fact just today someone swore they were stronger then me and so if they couldnt open the bag neither will i. Of course i proved them wrong but the point is i dont come off as a giant scary mean person (small short female here)yet just like everyone here sayin no one approaches me i mean heck they even approach the quietest people or the most abnoxiouse but god forbid maybe if they approach me i might get them sick with my 'weirdness' ;)
either that or people think i hate them for no reason. Then they go and tell everyone that and i get labeled as 'that loner person that hates people and doesnt conform to the norm so isn't that great. That is why i tend to get along with people either older or younger then me. I guess since they get a chance to kind of meet the part of me they like rather then the part they heard from their friends.
 

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Any person in teh word can be intimadating to someone else-it is not necessarily related to type. A certain ESTJ could appear intimidating to an "unsuspecting" INFP, and he/she might not be doing anything wrong other than being himself/herself.

I can be "intimidating" because I have my own "dress code" and image, that it's not too "unwelcoming", but certainly quirky enough for the right, very conservative individual. But not all INFPs dress to express, so this is not an "INFP thing."

Authenticity can be intimdating for many, especially in places were traditional "fake" interactions are required and we still cling to being ourselves. This is not to be confused with just speaking your mind out, as we should not always say what we are thinking (authenticity isn't compromised by wisdom.)

In a dog eat dog environment, kindness and a cooperative attitude can be intimidating for many competitive types-they are expecting another dog to eat and compete with, not an encourager/supporter, so they feel rather awkward and even intimidated by such an unexpected behavior. I would suggest to cling to who you are, and not who are supposed to be in said environments, even if some will try to attack you and/or test your mettle, because you are not like them or are not comforming to that environment's usual behavior.

An offended INFP can be intimidating too regarding values-if you violate theirs, unfairly attacking them, or people they love/care about, you will most certainly be intimidated by their wrath. It's not that INFPs are "fake sweet", but that they won't tolerate some unjust behavior or attack on their values, and at times, those of others.

The important thing is that barring personal character flaws (being rude, intolerant, impatient, etc.) we should avoid thinking about how we are "offending/intimidating" others, because often it's out of control, and it's a matter of perception rather than reality. INFPs CAN be intimidating, but so can be any other type in the right-or wrong-circumstances.)

For instance, if I cared too much about how the way I dress may "intimidate" someone out there, would I feel free to freely dress to express as I really want to? Probably not. Thus, I should not relqinquish the right to be me just because someone out there may disagree with who that is.
 

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Yeah.. I must seem odd or weird to most.
I'm kinda clutzy too, which I bet a lot of people pick up on and add it to the weird impression I give.
(Doest help that I'm so large as well. It makes me look like some clumbsy dumb mean oaf, but honestly that's far from the truth)
I get on well with people that are older and kids, just people my own age I can't seem to relate to.

I can't help but act cold and aloof. I've had several bad experiences in my life which has forced me to build up a wall.
 

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Most SP's I've met seem to find me intimidating. I think it's when I get philosophical
or theoretical - they seem to think that I'm 'too intelligent' for them.

However, compared to most infp's I am not particularly intellectual and consider that I'm of
average intelligence.

It's all relative I guess.
LOL....same here! It always seems to be the SPs that sees me in this light, especially SFPs.

But the reason I believe INFPs can be intimidating to some is because people tend to fear what they don't understand, and as we know, us INFPs can be a little bit too deep for some to handle; our dominate Fi hides those intense emotions. And I think what makes that so intimidating is that people "sense" that there's something boiling over underneath that calm exterior, but they don't know what it is, nor when it will blow....like a volcano with steam rising out the top.

Many find hotheads more reassuring because at least you know what you're getting, but with the INFP with that ultra-heavy Fi, you'll never know.
 

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My face can look very expressionless and aloof whenever I space out (which often happens), and that kind of scares some.

I can't help but act cold and aloof. I've had several bad experiences in my life which has forced me to build up a wall.
I think I can relate to this. I had been harshly teased and mocked for being sentimental, imaginative, and idealistic, since I was a kid. My ideals seemed to gain more respect and consideration when I began to look more distant and aloof.
 

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I mean this is what I kinda look like in public.

View attachment 59601

(Sorry it's sideways but my phone decided it wanted to flip it! XD)


You see why I think people might find me intimidating because that introverted lock-in looks kinda glassy and cold.
Like I'm some kind of bouncer or serial killer.


But really I'm just a big soppy teddy! XD


View attachment 59602


(Again, sorry for the sideways pic! :3)
 
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