Thank you for those socionics links! I've tried to understand that theory and each time I do I'm overwhelmed by the complexity of it- the symbols (like triangles) and the model G and A and the alpha/beta/quadra whatever is all a lot to learn. I'm sure I'll delve into it whenever I get my next urge to explore personality theory haha. From what you explained, Dr. Helen Fisher's theory sounds like one I'll be happily exploring as well
I also don't have much romantic experience, but I also don't experience much attraction to people outside of my basic level of interest in them (which is quite a bit honestly, probably just because I'm a writer and am also into spirituality, so I want to know people and help them in whatever their journey is as much as I can). The few times I've experienced instant, inexplicable attraction when there was no physical/aesthetic draw is because of the energy the person had. I just had to get to know them. I actually don't experience much physical attraction in my life, and this has lead me to considering I might be asexual or somewhere in the demisexual spectrum, because I can think someone has a great personality and even that they're aesthetically attractive, but that's all it is. Anyway, not sure if that's relevant but I thought I'd throw it in because I find it interesting- I can't find many people who relate to that experience.
I thought I had Fe for a while because the way the functions are often explained, Fe is caring and puts everyone else before themselves and is highly empathetic. But Fi can be all of those things, too, if it's part of the Fi user's values. I'm still not completely decided on this, but I believe I'm an Fi-user because I always had my own beliefs about things, and I stuck to them no matter what (and still do). There have been times when one of my values is challenged- for example, when someone is teased or talked down to because of their way of interpreting things, or because they 'feel' too much- and I'll stand up for something, and I can feel a rift- a divide- growing between me and the other people in the room because I know they're looking down on my speaking up, or maybe it's the way that I speak up that bothers them. Whatever it is, I know that my demeanor or what I'm saying is having a negative effect on their views toward me, but I can't let myself be quiet because I have to get it out, and I have to make sure that the person who's being condescended to knows that they are great just the way they are, and that everyone has their own way of doing things and if anyone looks down on it or tells them they're wrong, that's when you know those people aren't your people. This is just an example, and I don't go around telling people off or going on tangents like this, but these are some of the defining moments in my life- speaking up for people when I can tell they've lost their voice, and trying to comfort and bring it back to them. It's because of this, and my bluntness and blunt humor (which I think is Te coming through), that I think I'm Fi, but also because I was always an outsider and I chose it, because I genuinely did not want to be like the other kids growing up because they didn't align with my values of how to treat people (with respect and love and understanding). I've always had seasons of my life when I had a tight small group of friends, and then longer stretches of being a loner. The last thing I can think of right now that seems Fi to me is I've always done my own thing, just whatever I felt like, and this sounds like a negative thing to a lot of people who value the group harmony and peace (and btw, I'm enneagram 9 because damn I am so peace focused, like I hate fighting and I think this has a lot to do with growing up in a house where there was always animosity and I was a little ball of stress when I was a kid because of it). Anyone who grew up with me or knew me for a while knows I'll just step to my own beat, I'll respect social norms because I know this is how the world operates and I'll try to do it to get along, but as soon as I'm tired of it or forget about it (which is pretty quick haha) I'll become my own person again. If I'm asked to dance I won't do the normal moves, because I don't know the normal moves haha and also because I think it's funner to just see where the rhythm takes you and to try new things. So while everyone else is like moving their hips and being sexy I'm just moving my arms around like a clock and like jerking my shoulders around hahaha.
Anyway, sorry if this was long but it was kind of off the top of my head and I'm also just having a good time talking to you
How did you know you preferred Fi over Fe? Do I sound like an Fi-user to you? Part of why I thought I was INFP is my imagination and my love of talking theory, but I only like talking theory if it's related to my life or my friend's lives, and my imagination is so based in the physical world (like Se, object based) and not so much about tying connections based on ideas (Ne). Like when I have to describe thinking I'll just think of a physical way to describe it, which ends up being similes and metaphors, like my mother pointed out that the frozen lake outside our street looks mottled and I thought "yeah it looks like a frogs belly". Those physical connections happen constantly, and I'm happy for them because I enjoy putting them into my stories and it's the most natural way for me to express myself and what my characters are 'seeing'.
Oh also! I learned from Kalysta and the INTJ's vid about INFPs that INFPs actually have Fe (something? I forget what position they specifically said) and that that's why INFPs are very careful with other people's feelings and don't want to hurt anyone and just want everyone to be free to live their lives and not feel like they're imposing on anyone, and that the idea of being extremely kind to people and of being totally self involved isn't related to MBTI as much as it's related to the scale between complete narcissism on one end to the other end of having almost no boundaries and being too nice. I think it's because of those unhealthy low boundaries when I was a child that I believed I had Fe, but when people talk about me and who I was in the past they always say "oh you always just did your own thing" and that I didn't believe anyone's false faces, Fi finding truth following your own compass kind of stuff. Just thought I'd mention that because I found the INFP and INFJ coffee's recent Fi vs Fe vid a good listen.
I just remembered another thing that convinced me I could be Fi- I know Fe users who are kind of always welcoming to people. I'm welcoming, too, but I've been told times I'm tired or have other things to do that when I'm at a social thing, I can seem like I really don't want to be there and like I'm kind of stewing in the corner? Haha, this was weird to me because obviously if I didn't want to be somewhere, I wouldn't be. Like me making the commitment to exist around other people is my step in trying to build a relationship with them or just spend time together, but apparently I am not as friendly and warm as I thought I seemed. I am incredibly facially expressive, like in conversation people can read my feelings based on my face perfectly (though they never interpret what caused that feeling because they think it's something in the immediate environment that made me angry/sad/happy when it's usually just one of those physical Se connections I mentioned before, or someone does something endearing that reminds me of someone I love, etc.). Anyway, that's another thing where I was like, am I really an Fe user? I've heard Fe users will really think about how to phrase something or do something so a person will spill their secrets or that events will unfold in a way the Fe user wants, and I just have never done this. Like I only want someone to tell me something or go through something with me if that's what they want to do.
Sorry this is so long!! I guess I have a lot to say about Fi or Fe haha