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Whut? Romance??? In the Thinkers forum?? I know, I know... *hopes the thread doesn't sink :tongue:*

Seriously, though, how "romantic" are the INTPs out there?

And I mean your own definition of romance. Not the lovey-dovey manufactured superficial crap that people call romance today.

Unless, you know, you like that stuff...

I really don't like the way "romance" is portrayed today anyway... I am reading Please Understand Me II (which is amazing btw) and I notice how the F types are portrayed as more "romantic." But couldn't that just be that they are more extraverted in their romanticism? As in they are more likely to express it? Because I consider myself a "romantic," but really, really deep down inside, hidden in my inner darkness, where no one can ever see. Because once I tell someone, they try to connect, but they can't. We're on totally different wavelengths. They have no idea what I'm getting on about. They don't understand. They think I'm romantic in the "socially accepted"(?) sense, which I'm not.

So I describe myself as a dark romantic. Because that's how I see myself, how I see my romanticism. I highly dislike the superficial romance of today's society, and I prefer my own brand of darkness and sorrow. Black roses over red ones. Blood bonds over wedding ceremonies. Following your lover to the grave. While I might never actually do that last one, I identify with it, I can understand it. It's my dark love. For me, a dark romance is the only true romance...

/rant

Edgar Allan Poe is much more eloquent at explaining it than I am. Actually, all the dark romantic writers are.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not an NF...but I don't think so. Why can't I be a romantic INTP?

So my fellow Thinkers, tell me...are you a romantic at heart?

If not, why? Is it not important to you? Do you not believe in it? Do you find it silly? Elaborate please.

If so, what's your brand of romance? And do you have trouble being a romantic Thinker? Reconciling T and F? (I believe I do, but I'm working on it...)
 

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I agree. I tend to be more on the side of a darker romance, not a sweet, superficial one. I would want something that is deep, something that can't be explained as just a mutual attraction. I crave flaws, I crave ugliness, because to me, that's what makes this dark type of love beautiful.

I don't want the guy with the perfect skin, and clear blues eyes; the guy who plays sports and has lots of friends. I want the guy who you just can't figure out, the guy who might have a darkness within him. Sometimes, I think I'm a feeler because of this, but I think it's just that I can't stand all the cuddly, shallow relationships that people are in. I couldn't date a guy who would want to walk down the hallways, halding hands and talking about homework. I'm not sure exactally what kind of guy I like, but you can cross that type off the list for certain.

I also love Edgar Allen Poe's description of love. I love the darkness that lingers long after you've read it, and the ugly truth of it all.
 

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Lol, I used to be utterly hopeless. Naive was the number one word to describe my initial attempts at romance, utterly embarrassing :blushed:. Let's just say that all the movies regarding how to properly romance a woman were completely wrong, at least from the get go. My problem has always been that I seem to go from completely cold to almost everyone, to flaming hot towards someone, just like that, without any warning, and for seemingly no reason. I had to spend years building up a dam strong enough to hold it back and let it just trickle out in the right amounts so as not to scare away strangers with poetry and a whole bunch of other bullshit. I still make my own valentines and I still feel like my past girlfriend's never really understood WTF I was trying to say in them.. for some reason it always turned philosophical and the message got a little convoluted. Thankfully levity, a sense of humor, and just the effort seem to go a long way with the right girl :cool:
 

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Let me start by saying I am very much a Romantic in the artistic/aesthetic sense. Both dark Romanticism and the more conventional sort. Love it.

But small r romanticism? Harder to say. It doesn't take up very much of my mind...not since I was a teenager at least (although I noticed how unusually romantic my fantiasies were then in contrast to the typical teenage male's more purely sexual fantasies). I still have romantic fantasies of course, but then again I think everyone does. I am a talented (or at least clever and sweet) flirt, I have been told, if awkward, and I enjoy doing it for its own sake. Not sure if that counts.

And so much as I am a small r romantic, I'm a big fan of dark romanticism too...
 

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Lol, I used to be utterly hopeless. Naive was the number one word to describe my initial attempts at romance, utterly embarrassing :blushed:. Let's just say that all the movies regarding how to properly romance a woman were completely wrong, at least from the get go. My problem has always been that I seem to go from completely cold to almost everyone, to flaming hot towards someone, just like that, without any warning, and for seemingly no reason. I had to spend years building up a dam strong enough to hold it back and let it just trickle out in the right amounts so as not to scare away strangers with poetry and a whole bunch of other bullshit. I still make my own valentines and I still feel like my past girlfriend's never really understood WTF I was trying to say in them.. for some reason it always turned philosophical and the message got a little convoluted. Thankfully levity, a sense of humor, and just the effort seem to go a long way with the right girl :cool:
On second thought, yeah, now that I think about it it does come out in extremes. Seldom happens, but when I'm really devoted to someone, it's all out. I read that this is common for INTP's in a profile once...the inferior Fe is immature and so excited to finally have free reign it goes over the top. Lol about the philosophical Valentines!:laughing::tongue:
 

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I also love Edgar Allen Poe's description of love. I love the darkness that lingers long after you've read it, and the ugly truth of it all.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Can you tell I'm a fan?:tongue:

I think Poe was also a possible INTP.
 

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I can be more of a classical romantic at times. Poetry, large words of endearment and the like. Though most often I just prefer physical contact, cuddles and the like. I'm that way because when I'm not feeling over the top Romeo for my Juliet I have a hard time using words to get the feelings across =\
 

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I've certainly been described that way. I tend to get really caught up in romantic dealings. I like to know how my friends love lives are going, both so I can help if I can lend some good advice and so I can compare myself to their successes/failures. Finding someone who I can really connect with is on my mind about 70% of the day though. I'm often ashamed about how much time I spend thinking about it, and how little I actually do to bring it about. Ah well baby steps. Caring about it has got to count for something right?
 

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I've been in love twice. Overall it's pretty crazy shit, like shooting up heroin while falling down stairs. I can't quite decide if it is good or bad.
You mean it's like shooting heroin while falling up stairs. :wink:

I'm a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the "hopeless". :frustrating:

I think my lack of experience, 20 years of it, is my 'strength', if there is such a thing. Makes me want to be romantic and stuff.
 

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Ugghh, I am, and I can't get rid of that part of me. It's more so in my intentions and inner/underneath vs. outward expression. It's there, but I can't seem to be able to translate it 'physically.'
 

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Why would you want to get rid of the F in you? Oh, for sure, the F gets in the way and at the worst times possible it seems, but when we want to make an impression on someone, the ol' champagne and roses (or similar) works a treat on those that you cannot persuade with words alone.

Am I romantic? No, not especially. Do I like shows of romanticism from my OH? Yes, I do, actually, and he knows I do. He maybe expects more of me in appreciation, but I can't find the thoughts or actions to deliver, except for the obvious.:shocked: Then again, he is pretty old-fashioned, and so am I, so we both have the mindset of the guy gets the flowers, buys the engagement ring, gets down on one knee etc etc. Nothing wrong with it. No it's not sexist. Old-fashioned, but not sexist.

It's probably difficult for INTP to go through these type of motions, just because we know what the other likes, but with no real meaning for us. Sometimes I think we have to make the effort, because although to us this type of thing is meaningless, it isn't to the other person. I think understanding the other's wants and needs in a relationship is key to building it, not forgetting our own, but if both are focussed on what the other expects, you can definitely be successful. A lot of relationships fall apart because of the Me Me Me attitude.

Sorry I'm digressing.
 
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At heart yes, in pratice I'm terrible. It takes a great deal of effort and after all, we are INTP's, I'll do it tomorrow. It's something I need to work on.
 
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Am I romantic?

No.
Maybe.
Possibly.

Possibly.
See, I really can't say. I think up romantic thoughts and fantasies, but I'm not even sure that I can feel a strong attraction towards anybody. I never really have. Almost any real life twinge has been homosexual and only ever dominant and mechanical and that's all I know. Unlike the above you could probably cite me as being "New Fashioned", despite the fact that I hate the term.

I prefer my head or a good fetish-y novel or show to the reality and the expenses that come with. Perhaps when I've saved a good fortune or just met the "right person" as they say.
 

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Umm...

< Ask my avatar

*runs off*

*runs back*

Well, I find it difficult to be 'romantic' in a conventional sense. I can do it but it doesn't feel genuine. I like to express my love artistically, through poetry or drawings. I guess that's prety romantic actually but I don't do it too often. Aprt from that i don't like to indulge myself in fits of emotion its just not me.
 

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Fuck romance. Although I'd like that head-over-heels, giddy, "Just Like Heaven" kind of love, it never happens to me. Years of being "the nice guy" and the "friend" kinda killed whatever romantic impulses I had; they never led anywhere, and I never seem to notice when girls actaully ARE interested in me.

C'est la vie. Better to be happy alone than unhappy with a SO.
 
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I am very romantic at times. However, it's usually dark and very obsessive kinds of romance. My favorite romantic movie is "What Dreams May Come" and that pretty much sums up how emotionally attached I can become when I fall in love.

I can become creepy while in love... stalkerish even. hehe :tongue:
 
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