Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 35 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
733 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Okay. I don't know if its me or ENTPs in general. People say its very, very difficult to read me. Be it emotions or thoughts, I'm found to be impenetrable at times. Other times it shows clearly, such as when I'm happy, sad, angry, etc. My best friends sometimes have trouble deciphering my inner thoughts and intentions. I usually have to vocalize them though not always. Still, they will tell me that I am very hard to read.

There is one girl who claims to be INFJ (though I'm highly skeptical) and she's had a crush on me for about two years. I"m not interested in her so I avoid her as much as possible. However, if we're in the same social function, she always seems to successfully isolate me.

The thing is, she is the one most oblivious to my moods and subtle cues. I give her looks that basically mean "go away", "oh no, not you again", "i'm bored". It's also beyond looks. I start talking to other people, my eyes drift the room and sometimes I'll just get up and say I've got to talk to someone (and not come back). I know its mean but I wasn't always like this with her. She just doesn't seem to get the point.

Anyways. I don't talk to her anymore but I am wondering: Can you guys really read us? Or are we a challenge? Do you act appropriately to the situation or do you doubt yourselves and act in a way that would seem "oblivious" or maybe even irrational? Is it just me?:confused:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,474 Posts
It depends on the person, how balanced there cognitive functions are don't forget to throw in the whole crush thing. I believe that you are right to be skeptical on her being a infj.
Me personally I see you eyeing that poodle trying to lure her in with your cigar scarf will trying to do your rock impression.
Oblivious and irrational of course depending on the situation though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
279 Posts
The heart wants what the heart wants. If she's blindly in love with you, it will inhibit her intuition and cause her to miss things she would normally catch right off the bat.

You need to be up front with her if you want the advances to stop.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
733 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Do INFJs really fall for someone so deeply that they fail to see the reality of it all? I've fallen for girls that didn't feel the same about me and I knew it. They never had to tell me and I didn't really have to push things to find out. I always accepted things for how they were.

Besides, the things she talk about were nothing deep at all. She would spend hours saying things like "so I went to the gas station and my credit card machine didn't work so i went to the bank but I ran out of gas so I had to walk to the ....". It was this type of one way conversation all the time. It's what really made me skeptical of her being INFJ. :unsure:

But I don't see her at all anymore. I just wanted to know how you guys do in reading us. Since she's the only example I have that is possible, and thats a slight possible, INFJ and if its maybe just I that have learned to develop unconscious covert emotions.:confused:

Unconscious covert emotions... interesting... I have to dwell on that one for a bit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,474 Posts
Do you mind if I dwell also on Unconscious covert emotions......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
733 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
By all means my good man, go ahead. I see this thread heading off into a tangent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,474 Posts
Of course it's heading of in a tangent you did post in the INFJ forum after all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,361 Posts
I don't think she is INFJ. I naturally look for connections no matter who I am speaking with, crush or not. I hone in on them and am on constant watch for every signal, while I am speaking. I record everything!

And I never fall for someone where there isn't a connection to begin with.
And even more so if there is some kind of opposition towards me. For making friends, for everything.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,127 Posts
I feel that many people mistype themselves. My ENFP gal pal initially claimed she was INFJ (!!!) I was like- no way, you live for parties but I hate them. It was only after I sent her a description of ENFPs that she realised she was one. I also observe many INFPs mistypying themselves as INFJs because we're so similar.

About this girl, there's no way she's a feeler if she's oblivious to how you're feeling. It's also not possible for her to be an intuitive if she can rattle on small talk non-stop. I don't know what type she is but xNFx is out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,474 Posts
Are you sure that you're not the one with the crush and not the girl. And you are starting to miss the sappy girl without fully realizing it yet. That this whole thread is a freudian slip or freudian thread. Maybe unconsciously trying to gather data about the girl so you can talk to her again and see if she like's you or not. I believe the old saying goes you don't know what you got till it's gone.:tongue::happy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
241 Posts
she doesn't sound like an infj to me - I can't imagine one talking about the kind of stuff you suggested. moreover, generally if we like someone, we react by avoiding them altogether or else clamming up whenever their nearby. doesn't sound like its the case with her.

on the other hand, we can be VERY focussed when it comes to relational type goals, and I have definitely been guilty of reading stuff into things and recreating my own reality when I've been in love. put it down to having an overactive imagination. so i guess we could think cues mean different things than they do; but what you're suggesting sounds so blatant, we'd be more likely to just withdraw altogether and feel upset at the rejection I think.

as for entp's, I only know one, but I think I can read him pretty well - definitely wouldn't say he's unreadable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,545 Posts
she doesn't sound like an infj to me - I can't imagine one talking about the kind of stuff you suggested. moreover, generally if we like someone, we react by avoiding them altogether or else clamming up whenever their nearby. doesn't sound like its the case with her.
^ Yup

-----------------

From all the cues you gave it is impossible for an INFJ not to notice at least one. I haven't met anyone I couldn't read or notice things about them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
836 Posts
She doesnt sound like an INFJ.

Several reasons:

1) She would not talk about inane subjects. If we talk one on one, the subjects tend to get deep quickly. I usually start inquiring about someone's life plans, etc. rather soon. Not always, but if she's always going on about stupid daily routines, I would really doubt she's an INFJ. I tend to ask lots of questions if I'm talking one on one with someone... check on their mood that day, future plans, etc.

2) If she liked you, she would avoid you, be shy, or several things, *not* directly pursue you at parties.

3) INFJs have lots of empathy. Probably more than we need. This girl sounds rather oblivious... I usually pick up on people's moods really quick. If they are bored or disinterested, I usually disengage and leave the conversation.

*I think when people have crushes, they are by nature rather irrational. That said, all the information you've given us leads me to believe she isn't an INFJ.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
836 Posts
I'm a hetero. But I not sure that applies here, haha.

I think there are probably differences even amongst the same personality type *gasp*

Actually, it's probably a good thing you don't avoid people you like. It's not a healthy behavior. Maybe I'm an unhealthy INFJ??
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
733 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
'moreover, generally if we like someone, we react by avoiding them altogether or else clamming up whenever their nearby.'

so true its scary. this is why im usually single. i avoid the people i like.
Huh?! Okay. So if I like an INFJ girl (and I don't know she's INFJ) but she avoids me when I'm around or clams up when I talk to her then it could mean she likes me? How can I tell her feelings apart from the girls that don't actually like me? I feel like I've stepped into another world altogether.:confused:
 
1 - 20 of 35 Posts
Top