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All through school my friends would often ask me "Are you ok?" or "Is there something wrong?" or “You look really upset.” And this irritated me so much!! They never asked me this because of something I had done, I would just be sitting there with the rest of the group and suddenly the focus was on me. I thought maybe I had a sad/worried face all the time, so I felt pressured to walk around smiling just so people wouldn't keep asking me these questions.

Since leaving school I haven’t had this problem. I don't know if it is because I am naturally more confident and comfortable in my own skin and some how this transfers to my face or if I've subconsciously learnt to change my outward appearance to something that is more 'acceptable'.

It really bugged me in school that people were constantly checking up on me when there was nothing wrong!

Anyone else had this experience?
 

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Most commonly I get asked "what are you thinking about?". Sometimes my mom tells me to stop being sad because I have like a permanently imprinted sad expression on my face I guess and she's a dominant sensor so she always reacts to it. Then I have to explain that I'm not feeling sad, just contemplative. But she is the only one who does this. I suppose she wants me to be more like an ESFP or ESFJ personality type.

I usually try to make a very good pretense that everything is going alright even if it isn't, and really don't like allowing people to peek into my private life. So I've never had anyone ask me if everything is alright, but I do often get the "what are you thinking about" style of questions.
 

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I periodically get asked this question, too. Over the years, I've come to understand that it has more to do with my facial structure than anything. When not smiling, I just naturally have a sullen-looking face. And when I'm concentrating on something, or thinking deeply (as we introverts often do), I generally don't smile, so other people get the impression that I look very serious, to the point that something's wrong. So they periodically ask me if I'm ok, or, as is usually the case, avoid me altogether because I apparently look kind of scary to them. Working in education, having kind of a scary, serious-looking face has it's advantages. All I need to do is give a kid a look and it's enough to convince him that I'm "very angry" with what he's doing and he needs to stop (...most of the time, anyway; it doesn't work 100%). No need to raise my voice or have a long conversation with the kid. My "serious face" does most of the work for me.

When I was a kid, my mom chose to express her feelings about my facial expression a little differently. Rather than asking me if I was alright, she'd tell me to "get that pouty look off my face" or to "stop pouting." I heard that from her quite often. My mom, however, has borderline personality disorder, which makes it impossible for her to consider anyone else's feelings but her own. So while her comments were critical of me and not helpful in the least, I now understand why she behaved like that when I was a kid. That doesn't make it any less painful, but at least it gives me more understanding.

As a pictorial example, I'll share a recent pic taken of me to give you an idea of what I mean about my face. In this pic, I was honestly not trying to look serious and scary; this is my normal, un-smiling facial expression. I think you can see why others might express their concern. :wink:

 

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In my younger teens I would glare at people and not even know I was doing it. When I wasn't doing that, I apparently looked really sad.

That's changed abit, thankfully. Because of the way my mouth curls up in the corners, I almost look like I've got a mischevious grin when my face is relaxed now. Often I'm told that I look like I'm up to something, or that I'm really hard to read because I always have that grin. :p
 

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People never seem to ask if I am OK, they'll likely just say "Cheer up". Asking if I was OK would mean giving a damn about the answer :crazy:

Someone at school once said I looked gormless. That REALLY bugged me. I'm not stupid, I'm in deep, intellectual thought goddamit! From that moment on I made sure that my mouth is always tightly shut all the time when I'm not using it. So that makes me look a bit grim-faced.

But I don't often look sad, just serious. I catch a reflection of myself in the window on the train occasionally when I am thinking intensely about something. No matter whether I'm in a good mood or bad mood, the expression is always the same, though the eyes are likely to tell the real story.
 

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Yup

I periodically get asked this question, too. Over the years, I've come to work 100%). No need to raise my voice or have a long conversation with the kid. My "serious face" does most of the work for me.

That's funny...I can give an unruly child "THE LOOK" and he generally will cease all activity. This is really handy in restaurants! *wink* I get the same response from kids most of the time. (Cool, but sometimes I feel a bit like Boo Radley from "To Kill a Mockingbird.")

I like your pic..I don't think you look upset but "intense" as if you were in deep thought. Amazing how others have to label us for which they do not understand.


When I was a kid, my mom chose to express her feelings about my facial expression a little differently. Rather than asking me if I was alright, she'd tell me to "get that pouty look off my face" or to "stop pouting."

I heard that alot and still do..Are we supposed to walk around like grinning idiots, or what?:laughing:
 

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So my grin makes me look like an idiot, you say?
 
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no. usually I'm the one asking other's if something is wrong of if they're all right. and many times, they would get frustrated at my asking. i probably asked that too much.
 

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yeah a lot! the only problem is when there is something going on and i feel =( on the inside i still look like =/ as always.
 

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no. usually I'm the one asking other's if something is wrong of if they're all right. and many times, they would get frustrated at my asking. i probably asked that too much.
Aw, my trolling attempt was foiled. Damn you INFJs, and your coolheadedness!
 

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I used to get asked it all of the time. And I also got the cheer up, it can't be all that bad. I kept replying that it was my "thinking face", but after the same people kept asking over and over it started to turn into my "angry face" and I was so tempted to give them the middle finger.

I did try to work on it though, and try to communicate through my eyes (without too much conscious effort) that I was fine even if I was in thinking mode. But now the one I always get is you have such sad eyes, when I'm not able to keep that that little exercise up. I've even been in a superb mood and people *still* tell me I have sad eyes. Oh for the love of pete! <facepalm>
 
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All through school my friends would often ask me "Are you ok?" or "Is there something wrong?" or “You look really upset.” And this irritated me so much!! They never asked me this because of something I had done, I would just be sitting there with the rest of the group and suddenly the focus was on me. I thought maybe I had a sad/worried face all the time, so I felt pressured to walk around smiling just so people wouldn't keep asking me these questions.

Since leaving school I haven’t had this problem. I don't know if it is because I am naturally more confident and comfortable in my own skin and some how this transfers to my face or if I've subconsciously learnt to change my outward appearance to something that is more 'acceptable'.

It really bugged me in school that people were constantly checking up on me when there was nothing wrong!

Anyone else had this experience?
no ive never heard this before. certainly not in school. and certainly not when im using intuition. :tongue:

i get lots of 'are you in a bad mood?' sort of questions too. and i basically have to explain im just thinking, not really feeling anything necessarily.

i don't know what people's deal is though. it's not like you can smile 24/7. that's not natural!! haha.
 
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Aw, my trolling attempt was foiled. Damn you INFJs, and your coolheadedness!
Can't win them all, man ;). I don't know? Are INFJs coolheaded? seems to kind of contradict the whole idea of them being called intense. Maybe it's one or the other. I've been called coolheaded, but not intense.

And no, your grin looks just fine, though a bit mischievous ;)
 

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People ask me this all of the time, although I do zone out a lot. I think it's my eyes and my skin. My skin is pale, and people generally affiliate paleness with sickness. Also, my eyes are very big and dark, I could see how people would think that I'm sad all of the time. Plus, I never stop thinking, and sometimes my thoughts display as emotions on my face if that makes sense.
 

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Yes absolutely, I would get so deep in thought. Most people thought I was angry about something and I was not. People would ask that " Are you ok?"
 
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I think people are too scared to talk to me in general (tall, dark, big) so that question hardly arises. The only time I've heard it is from my siblings or from a brave stranger whenever I'm found to be wearing this:



I do it to make people laugh and mess with their heads.

:D

Edit: Sadly, I don't wear the gloves. That's too much even for me.
 
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