Here's what I've noticed. I think many INFPs believe they are the exception and therefore the rules don't apply.
For example:
Meeting your true love by chance, falling instantly in love and love will solve all problems and thus you will live happily ever after.
This is an exception. If it wasn't an exception then it would be more common. But I can recall less than a dozen INFPs over the last 20 years, telling me they met their soul mates on their first try and they've been together for decades.
Another example:
INFPs believe that they will eventually find that one job that will leave them fulfilled and make the day-to-day work bearable. This is an exception.
Research says most people change jobs 7 times. I've started 3 threads here and in the Facebook INFP groups asking about people that found that one fulfilling job. And there are many who have actually, but not until they were older. Most have flitted from one job to the other every 4-7 years.
Everyone wants to be the exception. But I think it's like winning the lottery. What happens if you don't win life's lottery? I think it's okay to want to be the exception, but I think it's a mistake to bet everything on it. How long do you keep hoping and hoping that the exception will apply to your life?
I'm not sure when I realized that life was falling into predictable patterns like number of job changes. Sometime after doing the thousandth load of laundry or grocery shopping or cleaning the toilet, I realize that there are some things in my life that fall outside the bell curve but for the most part, my life is pretty normal. There's nothing like cleaning your toilet and realizing that this is one of those things that you will be doing for the rest of your life that makes you realize that you're just like everyone else and that's okay.
That's when I started looking into the what research predicted what most people do with various parts of their life--why people get divorced, why people can't retire when they want, why people are generally unhappy. Knowing what the stats say to expect has help me avoid for the most part not being another statistic.
I'm not the life lottery winner that met their soulmate at 5 and had a trouble-free relationship. I'm not the life lottery winner wrote the best-selling book and retired to a beach by age 30. I'm not the life lottery winner that has always known what profession will make me fulfilled my entire life.
I think because I didn't count on winning the life lottery, I was able to focus on creating a life where I didn't have to be the exception to be happy.
For example:
Meeting your true love by chance, falling instantly in love and love will solve all problems and thus you will live happily ever after.
This is an exception. If it wasn't an exception then it would be more common. But I can recall less than a dozen INFPs over the last 20 years, telling me they met their soul mates on their first try and they've been together for decades.
Another example:
INFPs believe that they will eventually find that one job that will leave them fulfilled and make the day-to-day work bearable. This is an exception.
Research says most people change jobs 7 times. I've started 3 threads here and in the Facebook INFP groups asking about people that found that one fulfilling job. And there are many who have actually, but not until they were older. Most have flitted from one job to the other every 4-7 years.
Everyone wants to be the exception. But I think it's like winning the lottery. What happens if you don't win life's lottery? I think it's okay to want to be the exception, but I think it's a mistake to bet everything on it. How long do you keep hoping and hoping that the exception will apply to your life?
I'm not sure when I realized that life was falling into predictable patterns like number of job changes. Sometime after doing the thousandth load of laundry or grocery shopping or cleaning the toilet, I realize that there are some things in my life that fall outside the bell curve but for the most part, my life is pretty normal. There's nothing like cleaning your toilet and realizing that this is one of those things that you will be doing for the rest of your life that makes you realize that you're just like everyone else and that's okay.
That's when I started looking into the what research predicted what most people do with various parts of their life--why people get divorced, why people can't retire when they want, why people are generally unhappy. Knowing what the stats say to expect has help me avoid for the most part not being another statistic.
I'm not the life lottery winner that met their soulmate at 5 and had a trouble-free relationship. I'm not the life lottery winner wrote the best-selling book and retired to a beach by age 30. I'm not the life lottery winner that has always known what profession will make me fulfilled my entire life.
I think because I didn't count on winning the life lottery, I was able to focus on creating a life where I didn't have to be the exception to be happy.