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Well, are you? I know we all stink a little but how bad do you stink? I know I have smelt some pretty bad stuff on the forums sometimes. I tease, Not the veggie and I am sure all of you smell amazing. :tongue::crazy:

Seriously though, do you have layers? are you slightly or a very different person in different situations? how many? What are they?

I am curious because a close friend of mine made the comment the other day that knowing me is like knowing a stranger sometimes because I will show a side that she has never seen before.

I have the deep intellectual/philosophical one which I show the most here on the forums. I have the deep loving caring one which I show here too but people probably wouldn't believe that XD. Then I have the loving patient uncle who tries to teach my 6th grade nephew about morality and what is right and wrong and many more layers.

Then another layer which I have been pondering on lately in the context of MBTI which is the one I show when I am with people I am extremely close with(just 2 1/2 of them) which is my overtly witty goofy side when I feel like I don't have to walk on egg shells. Do other INFJs have relationships with people like this? Where your mental filter just vanishes and your mouth just spits out anything it wants. What are the aspects of that person and if you know their type, what is their type? My friends who I am most comfortable with is an ESFP, XSTP and an INFP(common trend I noticed is P)
 

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I am a juicy, sweet, baby pickled onion! My layers are so closely packed together as to be almost imperceptible, so people don't notice that I am a different person from one layer to the next and just go away thinking I am different somehow, but they can't quite put their finger on it.
 

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My close friends seem to all be ENxP (but predominantly ENTP). I guess you could say I am 'layered' as well... The face I put on during the day is muchly different than what is going on behind it.

On the forums I suppose you might say I am less restrained.
 

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Oh boy, just when I think people have me figured out...surprise another layer that surprises me! Ok, if you understood that statement, then you understand that I have many layers! :wink:

Here is what I think of myself: I am simply complicated!
 

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Then another layer which I have been pondering on lately in the context of MBTI which is the one I show when I am with people I am extremely close with(just 2 1/2 of them) which is my overtly witty goofy side when I feel like I don't have to walk on egg shells. Do other INFJs have relationships with people like this? Where your mental filter just vanishes and your mouth just spits out anything it wants. What are the aspects of that person and if you know their type, what is their type? My friends who I am most comfortable with is an ESFP, XSTP and an INFP(common trend I noticed is P)
I feel very relaxed and ok to be totally goofy when i'm with ENFPs and ENTJs mainly. i feel like they won't laugh at me (at least not in a mean way) and call me weird - it's fun being that person! :laughing:

I think it's cos I've found both types tend to over disclose, and be unfiltered (at least with me)...it puts me at ease to talk about anything, however crazy!
 

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Hmmmm...layers is one way of putting it.

I see it more like I have an internal set of masks, which I switch between with different people and situations. This illustraights it quite well:


Sometimes I deliberatly make it seem like I have layers, when I am more like a diamond, I just have many facets. Sometimes one will catch the light, sometimes another. However they are all a part of me, and each is necisary to make a compleate whole.
 

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That's funny, because I've received comments much like the OP; people become shocked when they see a different side of me. They never quite figure me out. Everytime they think they have, I flash another curveball/layer/side/facet that leaves them scratching their heads.

Here at the forum, I give off a vibe of intellectualism/deep thinking that contrasts strikingly with my more easygoing and 'shallow' self around certain friends, or the goofy and quick-witted side that comes out around others; it all just depends! Some have questioned my motives and whether or not I am being two faced, fake, etc. I'm not being fake, I'm just sharing a different part of myself with others. The difference between how I act and how two-faced people act is that their second 'face' is not who they really are, while mine is just another fragment of my personality; that really is a piece of my face you're seeing.

So call me inconsistant, a chameleon, a mirror, etc. I don't mind. I've found I enjoy a variety of friends because one group of similar minded people isn't enough for me--I enjoy a lot of different perspectives.
 

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Well, are you? I know we all stink a little but how bad do you stink? I know I have smelt some pretty bad stuff on the forums sometimes. I tease, Not the veggie and I am sure all of you smell amazing. :tongue::crazy:

Seriously though, do you have layers? are you slightly or a very different person in different situations? how many? What are they?

I am curious because a close friend of mine made the comment the other day that knowing me is like knowing a stranger sometimes because I will show a side that she has never seen before.

I have the deep intellectual/philosophical one which I show the most here on the forums. I have the deep loving caring one which I show here too but people probably wouldn't believe that XD. Then I have the loving patient uncle who tries to teach my 6th grade nephew about morality and what is right and wrong and many more layers.

Then another layer which I have been pondering on lately in the context of MBTI which is the one I show when I am with people I am extremely close with(just 2 1/2 of them) which is my overtly witty goofy side when I feel like I don't have to walk on egg shells. Do other INFJs have relationships with people like this? Where your mental filter just vanishes and your mouth just spits out anything it wants. What are the aspects of that person and if you know their type, what is their type? My friends who I am most comfortable with is an ESFP, XSTP and an INFP(common trend I noticed is P)
I described INFJs like an onion in one of my videos. :tongue:
 

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Haha, an interesting way of putting it. Yes, I've always noticed that people seem to put me in some type of category and then I do something that surprises them because it is different than what they thought. Even people who have known me all my life like my siblings are shocked sometimes at the things I do.

My ESFP brother the other day was bewildered when I came up with my assertive attitude even though I have always had it I never used it with him so he thought I didn't have it.

My goofy, witty side and the tease in me comes out with people I'm comfortable with like: my ENFJ brother, ESFP brother and my ENTP friend.
 

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I am incredibly new at this so if I miss the point please forgive me.
I know for me, layers are a means of protecting myself. By taking my feelings and organizing them to different depths allows me to feign some level of acceptance from others. This emotional armor is a wealth of contradiction. I have the desire to know everyone in my life as deeply and personally as possible. For example, I only consider someone a true friend when I can accurately anticipate their needs and fulfill them before they even know that they are in need of something. Here is where the contradiction presents itself. I have yet to meet a person that has managed to figure out the pass keys to all of my layers. I suppose I am somewhat selfish since I won't let people in...yet I still expect the complete openness from people in my life. My needs will always come last, and I will always drop everything to be there for someone, but I would never expect or want anyone to do that for me.
After writing this I realize that my layers are there because I am terrified of being understood and then rejected. Does anyone else feel this way?
I am sorry if this post is cumbersome or complete nonsense.
 

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After writing this I realize that my layers are there because I am terrified of being understood and then rejected. Does anyone else feel this way?
I am sorry if this post is cumbersome or complete nonsense.
I actually think the majority of us here feel this way, but a few of us are determined to try to strip off the layers and bare all in the hope that someone will understand us and accept us, totally as we are. Think about how wonderful that would feel! Unfortunately, we find that we have so many layers that it is a job for us to even understand ourselves properly. So first target definitely needs to be to understand and accept ourselves, and then try to convey ourselves to others in the most honest way we can. After that, we are not in control...it is up to others to accept us or not, and their reaction to us will depend on their own life perspectives and egos.

Now, apologize for apologizing and don't do it again, OK? :happy:
 

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i like Filigeedreamer's analogy with the pretty diamond (*_*) it's like that for me also.. at random times the light hits certain spots, i f you happen to be there when it happens you see a previously unseen facet of the personality

or like windows and doors which open and close at certain times. if you are late the door will close and the chance is gone ^^ but maybe it will open again somewhere...

i think my first layer is not intellectual like some people have written here.. i think i'm like a closed book (quiet) but wearing eyeglasses which are always looking and inspecting and absorbing things. and you know since it's a book that there's something inside of it.. always pointing things out, asking questions, just generally curious and i also find myself if i hear a stranger ask "who's this sculpture by?" or "i forget this actress's name?"i will actually hop there and tell them if i know! XD i get very happy whenever i have a chance to use my memory.. some friends telling me i'm like a walking dictionary

then there is a plethora of layers under there and you can find them.. especially when i turn into a dictionary,the pages will show --you can ask "why does this person know this topic? and this one? they seem unrelated" and sides of me will emerge if you just pay attention and question my actions.

(;_;) the layer i find that hardly gets to see the light of day is the 'page about empathy'.. I think I show love in a different way. I give people space, I let them learn for themselves, I always try to watch what I say.. I was thinking maybe this side would only open if it was by a lover or very close friend.. I think the other ways I display love are too intimate for random people.. Generally I am able to do this with a couple of family members and animals ...
 

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Yup. Definitely shift my self to suit the situation. Don't try to do it. It just happens. I've been trying to just be myself all the time, but it doesn't always work out for the best. Sometimes it's good to have your guard up. Or maybe it is the only way that you can talk to some people. Also, sometimes I am really zoned out and the effects that it can have on people around you is wild. It doesn't bother me at all to see someone with the thousand yard stare, but someone to whom that is not a familiar state of mind might not know how to deal with it.

We've got to be careful. We are like emotion emitters. People around you will pick up on your emotions, real or fake, and be influenced by them whether they know it or not. I've had people tell me before that when I'm in a bad mood, it makes everyone around me in a bad mood, and when I'm happy... Made me start keeping a stronger grip on my mind. I don't think that it is just an INFJ thing. Maybe NF? Definitely not all people. Maybe most people? :T

On a semi-related note, if you can, find someone that you can actually be open with. Even if it is just a therapist. There is something incredible about getting thoughts and feelings into sound, even if they don't really string together perfectly. Doing something like watching recordings of you doing things, and saying things, can help you dissect some of your more hurtful layers. If you have any. If you want to.
Which reminds me, I still need to make a video for the video thread. :)
 
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