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Are you boring?

2322 Views 30 Replies 27 Participants Last post by  Paradox07
In social situations I often have the impression that people find me boring. Very rarely I am able to connect with some people. It probably comes down to the fact that my hobbies and interests are not that common.

Is this just me or is it a general thing for INTJs?
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Yes, comparing myself to typical twenty-somethings I'm boring.

And vice versa.

I'm currently searching for a room in a shared flat. I contacted one person from an advert and she approached me via whatsapp. Her profile pic was some young people celebrating, with a guy with huge holes in his ears ("tunnels" always give me the creeps) in the front and scarcely clad young girls behind him. I immediately wrote her I don't think I'm interested in the room :)

(The funny thing is, she now contacted me after a week, writing that the room is still free and she has problems finding somebody, which gives me hopes that I'm not the only boring person out there).

Comparing with typical thirty-somethings with their houses and babies, I'm not boring though, although I would like to be more boring.
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I don't think I've ever been accused of being boring.

In my late teens / early twenties I started asking people hypothetical scenario-based questions when I was bored and that generally keeps the conversation from needing to center around boring small talk or my personal interests.
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Most people I know find me interesting, even if I am geeking out on highly technical topics. It always amazes me that people accept this, but I do think it is a function of having the right sort of company. The people I know are more than happy to indulge my idiosyncrasies, because they find them to be charming. Or maybe they just want to be on my good side since I am useful to them.

I once dated an ESFP woman who told me that I was weird and boring because I wanted to talk about ideas and not about cars like a normal person is supposed to. That experience left me in a state of self-loathing for years, because I really thought that there was something wrong with me.
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I thinking I'm ridiculously boring, other people find me intriguing.

I don't know why. It's completely unwarranted.
I think being perceived as "boring" is only a matter of different mindsets and is basically only the "problem" of the bored person.

Yes, lots of people will consider me boring. But that is only because they are bored with themselves and I am certainly not the right person to entertain them.

Do I bore myself? Nope. I live inside my head and can entertain myself forever without ever getting bored.

I'm also not a thrill seeker and often just don't feel like doing certain "exciting" things, because I can very well imagine the according experience. And more often than not, I will just be like either "Meh." or "I can imagine it to be like that, but I (therefore) don't really feel like actually doing it." (when others will be saying "But it will be so exciting!" - "Like I said, yes I can imagine, but no, thanks.").

I'm also not into extremely, weird/crazy stuff, but being normal where normal doesn't seem to be a bad thing to me, is also not boring me at any rate. I often wish people were less normal in regard to other things though. I also like a certain amount of routine, which some may consider boring, but it just makes life much easier resp. less chaotic.

Like I said, all a matter of mindset - some people will bore each other, others won't.
Being "boring" is indeed a mindset, and a biased one of that. Perhaps the better question here would be, if others see you as boring. Personally, I do not think so, as my INTP friend and I have intriguing conversations that could last for hours on end. However, if one was to be paired with a lowly sensor, I do believe any conversation to be had, could quickly turn towards the worst, and get "boring" rather quickly, as differences in psychology could amount to that change. In short, who you perceive as boring is your personal opinion, as others might have a different view of X or Y person.

Other than mentioning the above, my own musings can keep me preoccupied for hours, and I recently had the realization, I would happily keep myself entertained with my own on a lonely island, sipping a refreshing beverage (most likely ice-coffee), and not caring on what other people think of myself. Each person is indeed unique, we are just more unique then the average person. However, I am rather curious to see were we to ask the question to ENTJ's.
That's what I've been told a couple of times. It does make me wonder why those people continue to want to be around me, but I suppose that there are different definitions and perceptions of what a "boring person" is, and that perhaps there is a 'good' and a 'bad' kind of boring.

I'm not high-energy or especially talkative and I think that earns me the label. My theory is that someone being 'boring' also has something to do with who is more influential in the given situation in terms of setting the pace and energy of the interaction.
I am absolutely boring to the average person cause when I don't find someone interesting,likable or smart,my organism refuses to even try to appear likable or interact with them.(if I have to work with them,I can do it but I won't speak to them willingly).This is true for the 95% of people that I know.

On the other hand when I find someone cool and he/she values my personality and the things I have to offer,then I usually am a very fun person to be around..That has only happened with a few people in my life.
It is a bit of paradox - that, whatever makes me 'boring', is perhaps what makes me most entertaining.

For ex; as seen in my dryily sarcastic pessimistic realistic humor. I am not "humorous," because I am some hyper-ESFP - I am humorous, because I tell the boring truth. My "boringness," spoils the fun, in a fun way.
People assume I'm mysterious and interesting, but I think I'm very boring in general. I can't count the amount of folks that want me to talk ask for my opinion about random shit just to see what I have to say about it. In social situations when folks talk about their activities, my "lack of life" is glaringly apparent.

I don't go clubbing, "date" a gang of dudes, have kids or go sky-diving or whatever. Hell, I hardly watch TV. So yeah, when that happens I say, "I told you I was boring."
It is a bit of paradox - that, whatever makes me 'boring', is perhaps what makes me most entertaining.
Good. Didn't have to write it myself.
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I try to make myself boring, but people keep getting caught up in this imagined "enigma" which only exists in their minds.

My close friends/family don't think I'm boring. I've never been called boring to my knowledge. I've been called blunt, too honest, and confrontational (by those who think taking care of dissonance is inferior to carrying on weird passive aggressive behavior). Not boring.

I think that @TheTraveller7 said it best that, compared to my peers, I think that my interests are probably more widely accepted as boring to those more socially oriented than me.
Well I'm not seen as boring. People generally see me as the most sane, crazy person they've ever met.
"Boring" is often just a matter of having overlapping interests with a person or not. Some people do see me that way, some people don't, a pretty significant number of people see me as too boring 75% of the time (in that I'm fairly content to be in my home reading and thinking nearly always) and way too "interesting" the other 25% of the time (in that, when in the mood for action, I skip partying and go right to putting myself in the path of chemical munitions).
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I've been described as unapproachable. Boring? I guess so...

I don't think I am boring I have many interests that some would know about if they... approached me.
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My friends' preteen daughter tells me I'm like a "boring scientist." That is, when I'm not being "random" or a "crazy clown." Other times, she says I'm a "mad scientist" rather than a boring one.
People often sometimes tell me that I ramble about technical subjects no one cares about. No one but me, that is. Rambling like that is sort of a "tradition" in my family.
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I think I'm a bit boring since I like to do solitary activities.

That being said, I can chat with somewhat like-minded people about a myriad of interests. Also, the Internet is a wonderful outlet for interacting with those who love what you love.
! I just remembered someone called me boring because I'd rather read on a Saturday night than go to a fraternity party. Said person was in the fraternity and wanted to date me and he called me to find out where I was. When I told him, he said, "sounds boring", implying there were only too options here: going to the party or anything else, and anything else was boring.

How crazy. I dated that guy for 2-3 years, too. lol Never went to his fraternity parties, though. And, once we were together, neither did he!
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