Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 20 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
532 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I get the feeling if you're unsatisfied with your partner, you will come right out & say it to their face. Right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,804 Posts
I would guess so. The ESTJs I know are direct, brutally honest and they won't tolerate any kind of deceitful behavior.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Seamaid

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,385 Posts
That's what I'd do, yes. I see no point, what so ever, to stay in a relationship I'm not happy with. And if I'm happy with it, why would I cheat? I think we're far to loyal for that.

Anyways, I can see us being the type maybe least likely to cheat, but I haven't tried to be any other type, so I wouldn't know.
Also, I think this is a matter that is more baised on your personality in whole, and your upbringing, rather than your MBTI-type.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
198 Posts
I don't believe in cheating. If you lost feelings for the person you are with, just straight up say it. There's not need to head and go do something behind the person's back.

Whoever cheated on someone automatically loses my respect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
593 Posts
The only time I've cheated was on an abusive boyfriend turned LDR boyfriend who I found out had been cheating on me for the 3-ish years we were together. He humiliated me and verbally and sexually abused me.

So I dated other people. I made out with people at the club. I cheated on him, plain and simple. My deal was that if he actually ever asked, I'd tell him the truth. He never did.

Yes, I know I should've just broken up with him. It was a rough time. I wasn't in a place to do that.... and if anything that might show how our desire to keep our relationships can cripple us as much as it can strengthen us.

I could never imagine cheating on my husband. Nobody else could offer me anything that would top what he is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
131 Posts
I'm not sure I would cheat even if my partner was cheating on me. I would just dump them in a heartbeat and move on. Trust is a big thing for me. I will give someone the benefit of a doubt very early on. Once you do something to lose my trust, it's very hard to get back. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ 3w2-5w6-9w8 so/sp
Joined
·
1,185 Posts
Yup, also the type most likely to be oblivious that our relationship partner is cheating behind our back. IMHO an ESTJ is the quickest to leave a dissatisfying intimate relationship.
I agree with that. When I'm not happy in a relationship or don't want to go out with someone, I say it right away, which is usually a bit of a problem for the other person, because I'm sometimes brutaly honest. I'm still trying to fix saying something like: "In my opinion, the outcome of our relationship is just negative. I don't get any benefits from it anymore. I'm sorry, but I don't gain anything from our relationship" (That's also a great example of just breaking down emotions into actions, benefits and problems)
Still, if I really love someone, I'm as faithful as a dog and won't ever leave his side. I wouldn't really care, if he cheated, because even if I noticed, it "didn't happen", right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,053 Posts
I wouldn't really care, if he cheated, because even if I noticed, it "didn't happen", right?
Ironic that I was very recently discussing a tangential topic with a good friend.
During my youth I needed to know everything about anything that interested me, except that I'd rather have not known were my SO cheating behind my back. More recently I've adopted the philosophy that life is too short to tolerate loved ones treating me similar to a yoyo or a doormat, I'd want to know were somebody cheating on me or otherwise treating me like shit.

IOW don't jerk me around telling me to stay or go as though I'm a yoyo & don't track mud all over my insides
 

·
Registered
ENTJ 3w2-5w6-9w8 so/sp
Joined
·
1,185 Posts
Ironic that I was very recently discussing a tangential topic with a good friend.
During my youth I needed to know everything about anything that interested me, except that I'd rather have not known were my SO cheating behind my back. More recently I've adopted the philosophy that life is too short to tolerate loved ones treating me similar to a yoyo or a doormat, I'd want to know were somebody cheating on me or otherwise treating me like shit.

IOW don't jerk me around telling me to stay or go as though I'm a yoyo & don't track mud all over my insides
Hmm... Well, I have yet to see someone who's really cheating on me. ^^ I mean, I'm still pretty young, so my philosophy is most likely going to change, but at the moment, I actually get jealous really easily. For example when I saw my ex-boyfriend with another girl. However, if I don't see, whatever he's doing behind my back, I really don't care, because, well, what I don't see isn't proven to exist. Even if I noticed, I'd try to talk about it, because I hate change and emotional problems and whatsoever, so I try to sort things out as soon as possible.
In general, if someone tells me anything, I usually believe them, because if it's a lie, I'll either find out the truth or it's not important ^^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,767 Posts
TJs in general are quite straight forward and won't put up with something they see no value in continuing. So yeah, cheating is unlikely.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
452 Posts
I get the feeling if you're unsatisfied with your partner, you will come right out & say it to their face. Right?
You are asking the question in a relationship context. I understand where you're coming from, but it's quite hard to answer it in a general way.

As some of the others have mentioned, these kinds of things aren't solely influenced by personality type and so on. It's quite common to fall into the trap that personality type is the only factor which influences a person's actions, while other factors like upbringing, societal norms, culture, religion, the partner's temperament, etc are ignored.

Even the type of relationship matters a lot. Priorities are very different from dating and marriage. Who knows what might happen with the advent of throuples, multi-partner marriages, and what's sprouting up on the relationship market today.

In generally, we are quite direct and honest, and we hate cheating behaviour. Whether and what sort of action we take - depends. Consider these hypothetical scenarios:

Scenario A:

ESTJ A is angry with partner's deceitful behaviour. However, ESTJ has been conditioned by factors like family, culture, religion, etc to get the partner to stop it, forgive and move on.

Scenario B:

ESTJ B is angry with partner's deceitful behaviour. However, since ESTJ knows that a divorce will negatively affect the kids, the ESTJ resolves to stay married until the kids fly the nest.

Now, I'm not sure where you are from, and the "for the sake of the kids" cause in Scenario B might seem unlikely in some parts of the US, but it actually happens big time in some other places.

Scenario C:

ESTJ is aware of partner's cheating behaviour. However, as the partner earns way more, to separate would mean a drastic drop in living standard for the ESTJ.

As we all know, divorces are also costly affairs, both monetarily and in terms of reputation. This would naturally be a big factor influencing stuff.

So, I don't think it's so easy to answer. It would be a great misconception to just look at a person in terms of MBTI and nothing else - or else we would all end up as automatons.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,800 Posts
ROFL! If touching everybody that passes close to you isn't cheating then maybe... Even though I think faithfulness isn't type related.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
434 Posts
ESTJs that I know are very dutiful/faithful and would rather end dysfunctional relationship than carry on and cheat on a partner. I wouldn't say that they are not tempted to cheat or that they aren't flirty but both of the ESTJs that I know have strong sense of duty and fair play, so they wouldn't cheat because of their moral code, not because they don't think of the possibility at all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
So I know this is an old thread, but I literally joined this forum to respond. So hear me out.

-Let me start by saying an am and ESTJ married to an ISFJ for 4 years with 2 kids (1 with her and full custody of the other)
-I have had many girlfriends, yet never cheated on any one of them. Never..Ever...
-In fact, the thought of cheating had never crossed my mind as a rational possibility (not who I am)
-I have also never been broken up with. Literally. In fact, I broke up with my wife 5 years before we ended up married. Not that I'm proud of that fact, but it's the truth.
-Historically speaking, my break ups tended to be quite fast and usually caught many people off guard...but when I didn't feel the spark, why waste time right?

Now onto the Shocker...
-3 months ago, I had an emotional affair
-We were both married
-We necked pretty hard, wanted to have sex but we both knew we couldn't let it come to that.
-3 weeks into the affair, her husband over heard her telling her friend that she was falling in love with me, this of course started the ball rolling. I felt terrible guilt prior to his finding out and had every intention of telling my wife when I got home from a business trip. But he beat me to the punch, and I got a phone call from my wife, questioning me. I immediately came clean and told her everything. Except I left out the part where I had strong feelings for this women. Strong enough that the entire time I was in this extramarital relationship, I repeatedly told her how crazy I felt for doing what we were doing. It was terrifying, the speed in which our relationship was advancing, despite our marriages. It does get weirder, if you can imagine such a thing...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
184 Posts
Cheating is disallowed by me! I demand you never ever ever ever cheat! hahahaha!

okay to be completely serious. Cheating is immoral and not ethical! so I would say no cheating. Yes, I would just bluntly tell them the issues and act from there.
 
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top