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Are you more drawn to extroverts or introverts?

  • Extroverts

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • Introverts

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • No preference

    Votes: 2 6.9%
  • I'm not an ESFJ but I felt the need to click something

    Votes: 21 72.4%

  • Total voters
    29
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Discussion Starter #1
I'm extroverted, but I've always noticed that I have an easier time befriending introverts than I do extroverts. In addition, the people I'm more drawn to tend to be introverts. There's something about a person who needs to be alone with their thoughts that makes me really curious and eager to get to know them.

For example, I was at a bar with a bunch of new students (of which I was one) last weekend, and as much as I liked dancing with the more gregarious people, I kept finding myself coming back to the tables on the side to strike up conversation with the people who looked uncomfortable and were nursing drinks. I'm friends with all types, but the ones that I end up being closer with are introverts, and my boyfriend is an introvert as well (as were most of my previous love interests). So I'm interested to know how it is for you!
 

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In social situations like this, I feel I am more drawn to extroverts who invite me to join in. I really like that, and I don't mind being asked questions or asking my own questions back to the friendly extrovert if it's appropriate conversation for first meeting. Usually, I am the guy who is nursing a drink at the bar stool and some very kind people have approached me while I was alone. It's much appreciated, but I am an ISFJ...so yeah. I can be kind of extroverted sometimes too if it's a familiar territory. Sometimes there's situations where I am actually an authority too, and I like to connect people and find commonalities with questions and ice-breakers.

I am not sure if I drawn more to introverts or extroverts though in general...hmmm...I did decide that I like extroverts more as supervisors personally because they actually like to interact with their employees most of the time. This is pretty much necessary for me to feel like I fit in, which is very important to me.

Haha...I know I don't quite belong here, but I used to post here as y'all ESFJs. Sometimes I think of just switching it back though just for the heck of it because I relate to ESFJs quite a bit. I think I'll just crash your party as an ISFJ. :)
 

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Auntie Duckie
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I think i'm more drawn to introverts. The "opposites attract" effect?

Being around extroverts for too long gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I consider myself an ambivert with slightly stronger extrovert tendencies.


-ZDD
 

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@lenabelle @Slogo
this seems to match my observations on ExFJs and IxFJs in general.
Sometimes I feel I am drawn to EXFP and EXTP because somehow they have this natural way about them that's more about doing and enjoying the ride than thinking about it. There's an ESTP in my life, that can almost do no wrong because he's so passionate and just into things for their own sake. I know a lot of what he says is for shock factor, and he does have this reflective and loving quality that's sensitive to other people too despite all the absurd things he says. We've had deeper longer discussions about things at times. I know that I can be boring to the guy, and he's even said that about me directly. I know he's right to a degree about it. I feel like a lot of people are drawn to this man, and I can be a bit jealous of it to be honest. Hell, I am even drawn to this guy so I understand why other people are. Anyways...
 

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I have no strong preference either way.

Extroverts are usually fun and easy to be around. I find I can just enjoy and share in their enthusiasm when I'm around them. I especially enjoy being around the types Slogo listed (ExFP and ExTP) for mostly the same reasons.

But at the same time, I'm that guy who notices the people standing near the edge of the room who clearly want to socialize and be part of the fun everyone else seems to be enjoying, but are nervous to do so; and so I go (and drag some of my buds if need be) and ask them to #insert-appropriate-social-activity-here myself. I want everyone to have a good time. And it's pretty easy for me to get an Introvert to open up. I like being able to do that.

Yeah, I actually find ESFJ's are one of the more introverted extroverts =)
I'd say that's a fairly accurate assessment.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
But at the same time, I'm that guy who notices the people standing near the edge of the room who clearly want to socialize and be part of the fun everyone else seems to be enjoying, but are nervous to do so; and so I go (and drag some of my buds if need be) and ask them to #insert-appropriate-social-activity-here myself. I want everyone to have a good time. And it's pretty easy for me to get an Introvert to open up. I like being able to do that.
This is totally me! I've met so many awesome introverts just from approaching them and asking if they want to join in. There's also something of an irresistible challenge about someone who needs to be coaxed into socializing. ;)
@Slogo: I can relate to being drawn to ESxPs. There's just something so damn charming about Se-doms. They really give off a positive energy that's infectious. I've heard that according to type theory, SPs and SJs should be paired up, while NFs and NTs should be paired up. That would make sense. SPs help SJs open up to new ideas and SJs keep SPs out of jail. :p My best friend in high school was an ESFP. Every time she goes out, she comes back with a crazy story that usually involves getting really drunk, crashing a party, stealing something, going to a strip club, running from the cops....you get my drift. They're just really good at living life.
@rawrmosher: I agree that ESFJs are one of the most introverted extroverts. You'll find us a lot at home, spending time with our families, instead of going to the club. Maybe that's why I find I'm more compatible with introverts. I think I'd rather be with someone who doesn't go out enough than someone who goes out too much.
 

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This is totally me! I've met so many awesome introverts just from approaching them and asking if they want to join in. There's also something of an irresistible challenge about someone who needs to be coaxed into socializing. ;)
Really?! This is encouraging. I always need to be coaxed into socializing . . . and I love the idea of being an irresistible challenge, especially to one ESFJ in particular. ;) Seriously, this is one of the first things that drew me to him. I love the way he is the most socially-competent person in the room and could spend his time hanging with anybody he wants, but he will typically spend 75% of a party talking to the shy newcomer who doesn't know anybody and make them feel welcome.

SJs keep SPs out of jail. :p
LOL!
 

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I love everyone, but I tend to be more comfortable socializing with fellow extroverts. They keep up with me better! And um, for the people saying that ESFJs are "introverted extroverts"...that is NOT at all true for me! Lol, I don't have a single introverted bone in my body! I'm an insatiable socialite! So I wouldn't say it's an ESFJ thing, but just some ESFJs are PERSONALLY more introverted...? IDK lol :)
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I love everyone, but I tend to be more comfortable socializing with fellow extroverts. They keep up with me better! And um, for the people saying that ESFJs are "introverted extroverts"...that is NOT at all true for me! Lol, I don't have a single introverted bone in my body! I'm an insatiable socialite! So I wouldn't say it's an ESFJ thing, but just some ESFJs are PERSONALLY more introverted...? IDK lol :)
You're probably right. I guess I fell into the trap of generalizing. I have an ESFJ friend who's super outgoing as well. He doesn't have an introverted bone in his body.
 

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I always thought that I was drawn to extroverts and introverts equally, but then I realized that most of my close friends are introverts! They make fantastic listeners and the introverts always see the world in such a different way than me. Don't get me wrong - I love hanging with extroverts too because the conversation always flows and never falls into a lull of awkward silence. Perhaps I'm drawn to introverts when I feel like talking (which is most of the time) and extroverts when I don't.
 

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I find it funny that my best friend and a super close friend are both ESFJs. A lot of their friends and every one of my best friend's boyfriends have been introverts.
Though I think it can stress you guys out sometimes. Especially when the introverts don't get your need for casual interaction. My ESFJs are healthier when they get a dose of fellow extroverts.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Though I think it can stress you guys out sometimes. Especially when the introverts don't get your need for casual interaction. My ESFJs are healthier when they get a dose of fellow extroverts.
I definitely agree with this. I live with two ISFJs, and I eventually learned that my habit of randomly showing up at their rooms to tell them about a funny thing that just happened does not go over well with them sometimes. As similar as ISFJs and ESFJs are, I've found that ISFJs really care about personal space, which is not something I ever gave much thought to before living with them (I'm an only child). Now I've learned to knock and ask if they're busy first. It's so much easier to hang out with my ENFJ friend because she just gets me. We can tell each other how much we love each other without it being awkward or embarrassing. But on the other hand, there is something so mysterious about introverts...
 
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