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The 8 becomes more caring, the 2 becomes more self-something (fill in the blank here cuz I don't fully understand twos).

both healthy 2s and healthy 8s have a good balance of caring and protectiveness with "getting theirs". perhaps this is what you mean (not that you'll be able to answer :tongue: )
I'm an E9...I wasn't sure which wing, but now I think I might be 9w8 because I've been trying to break up with an E2 for a very long time due to the "sinking talons" thing that E2s do, and I could not for the life of me let that happen or back down. I'm always trying to figure out which battle I want to fight.

I don't think I would ever have been able to imagine how borderline abuse a 2 can be. (BTW - I have two really great 2w1 friends, and we hang out a lot because we enjoy each other's companies. I have nothing against 2s.) I guess what I'm learning is that most enneagram descriptions do not quite do type-2 justice for how dominating they can be. He and I get into physical fights, similar to how my 8 brother and I did when we were young. It's not like physical attacks but using physical power for the purpose of subduing someone else...which never works. Most of these fights stem from me getting upset about him at something, then telling him to leave, and him standing his ground and showing me that he can do as he wishes regardless of my cares and concerns. I would say he puts his interest before mine every time. This may look like he is putting my interests first, but really, they are for him.

My E8 brother has grown a lot (he got himself into unusual circumstances) and I don't think he would ever get as physically dominating as this E2, who is also significantly older than both of us, has gotten. I would say that where E8s become more caring, E2s become more self-prioritizing. And an unhealthy E2 will try to "get theirs" by any means. Ah, I need to look more into healthy examples of older E2s...
 

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The needy. I'm like a magnet to them, or for them. They always come up to me even if they don't really know me(like some sort of intuition that I'm maybe quite helpful for people who need a lot of help?) or I seem to always find my way to an excessive amount of people needing help by myself, seems to go hand in hand, whether I'm being pursued or in pursuit. It just seems so natural. It's been like this since I was very small, like kids my age coming up to me when they want to cry or vent or help with solving a problem whether it's big or very tedious. I would always think to myself, "Um, we don't really know each other and there are dozens of other people around me, but ok." LOL!
 
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