[Houseplant]

8s are naturally dominant in the way they navigate the world. But, as an 8, are you still dominant during sex, or do you like to feel submissive for once? If you chose submissive, do you still feel like it is a powerful act to be submissive, or does it turn you on to lose control?

 

[Hellfire]

8s are naturally dominant in the way they navigate the world. But, as an 8, are you still dominant during sex, or do you like to feel submissive for once? If you chose submissive, do you still feel like it is a powerful act to be submissive, or does it turn you on to lose control?

I'm a switch and both have different appeals for me. I know when I'm dominant I like to be nurturing and teasing with someone compliant, and when I'm submissive I have a huge thing for being degraded, probably because I'm innately shy. I like it to be equal as well sometimes though! My dynamic with a person sexually almost entirely depends on the other person, I just occupy the negative space since I have varied desires. I'll enjoy myself as long as the person puts the effort in I do, I don't feel like they're testing me or competing with me to see who's better in bed, and as long as they're present and open, because I offer the same.

 

[richard nixon]

I'm a One and one 8w7 was highly dominant (I was highly sexually submissive to him) I think he's an sx, but I'm not 100% sure if he's an sx, though i think he was, that was from 97-98. The other 8w7 I've "done it" with is definitely an sx/so wasn't dominant towards me and I don't remember being dominant with him, I had wanted really badly he finally decided we could... that was in Y2K. But in 1999, he made advances on his brother (a cp6w7 sx/so) who didn't want them and told me (his brother did) I would be "hurtin'" if I told a friend about it. The same cp6w7 sx/so was very sexually dominant towards me and from the phone conversations I heard it seemed like he wanted to sexually dominate the girl he met at the water park, but he's not a naturally domineering person at all.

I scored a 2 on the Kinsey scale.

I enjoyed being dominated in bed by the 8w7 but didn't enjoy being dominated so much by the cp 6w7.

A friend of mine who is an 8w7 sx/so mentioned being dominated and said she enjoyed it ("he fucked me into a new hairstyle"), but she also dominated two other people.

I'd guess 8w7 sx/so is more submissive than dominant in bed. I can't tell whether kelsey obsession is more dominant or submissive, though Kimberly Kane is also 8w7 sx/so and seems very submissive in all the videos I've seen of her.

Sorry if it wasn't ok to post in here, I was just hoping to help by giving more information.

 

[nablur]

great question... one ive often wondered actually. generally speaking, i think in unhealthier states , the 8 may be attempting to satisfy the ego and become more dominant and aggressive ; while in healthier states the 8 may be more neutral or even submissive to a point?

i do fantasize about a girl being on top, but in reality i tend to get frustrated, bored, or they just want to grind on my pelvic bone til it bruises.

in real, i prefer to be on top, where i can control the pace of things.... ive had a couple handfuls of women who enjoyed letting them be on top for a few minutes at a time. Out of all that, ive only orgasmed while a girl is on top 3 times in my life. 19yo,27yo, and last month. hah. i do enjoy a few minutes of being bottom like first thing in the morning, if im woken up with it. depending what stroke the girl is doing on top, i can lose sensitivity fairly quickly.... especially teh rocking back n forth... theres almost nothing there.

edit - altho , i dont know if i am perceived as dominant. turns out im extremely bad at self-3rd party -perception... lol

 

[drmiller100]

Laying on your back while the girl rides you does not make you submissive. nor does it make you a "bottom."
I love laying on my back and telling her what to do.

I'm a Dom.

 

[nablur]

hmmm... yeah im not to hip with the lingo. never tried BDSM or had any in depth talks about it.

a quick google says:

bottom = receiver
top = giver

i assume these correlate to sub/dom?

i suck at receiving... makes me uncomfortable. 37y/o never orgasmed from BJ alone...lol
i prefer doing things to the girl, getting her off, and then i cum second.

 

[drmiller100]

top/bottom originated with gay males. So, the top was the "giver", the bottom the "receiver."

BDSM took it and morphed it a bit. Who runs the fuck? Who is deciding what happens? Who initiates? Who is being bossy?

For sure the girl can be the top if she is controlling what is going on.

 

[Temizzle]

For sure the girl can be the top if she is controlling what is going on.

She can also physically be on top but be anything but in control.

Sex is a conversation you take turns the way I like it anyway (referring to op)

 

[Diavolo]

I'm pretty open minded but I'd rather be the one dominating, I don't like being submissive at all

I like being the one who fucks, not the one who's fucked

 

[Foxyfox]

In control without being dominant

 

[Diavolo]

In control without being dominant

Isn't that what dominant means ?

 

[Foxyfox]

Isn't that what dominant means ?

Nope

 

[WindowLicker]

Are type 8's temperamentally inclined to be that dominant? Ex. hair pulling, biting, throwing onto the bed, teasing.

 

[lametaoist]

Are type 8's temperamentally inclined to be that dominant? Ex. hair pulling, biting, throwing onto the bed, teasing.

It would seem that the point of this thread is to discover the answer to that question.

Is that your definition of dominance? It would seem that some of those things can be done playfully without the intention to dominate.

 

[incision]

BDSM isn't my thing so neither dom or sub. Pain and restraint are the best ways to kill the mood for me.

 

[WindowLicker]

It would seem that the point of this thread is to discover the answer to that question.

Is that your definition of dominance? It would seem that some of those things can be done playfully without the intention to dominate.

It is if it's done in a way to lead/control the situation or make the other person submissive.

 

[lametaoist]

It is if it's done in a way to lead/control the situation or make the other person submissive.

That is the definition of dominating--something done in way to lead/control the situation, or to make the other person submissive.

My point is that it's not the specific activities, but the way in which they are done, so just listing off a bunch of activities does not give insight into whether a person is dominating or submissive. Which means you asked the wrong question.

 

[WindowLicker]

That is the definition of dominating--something done in way to lead/control the situation, or to make the other person submissive.

My point is that it's not the specific activities, but the way in which they are done, so just listing off a bunch of activities does not give insight into whether a person is dominating or submissive. Which means you asked the wrong question.

How can any one of those things be done playfully and not in a dominant way?? I think we have very different definitions of what's considered "playful".

 

[lametaoist]

How can any one of those things be done playfully and not in a dominant way?? I think we have very different definitions of what's considered "playful".

This seems to be the crux of every 8/non-8 interaction.

Things that we do are assumed to be dominating, whether we intend them as so or not. People then claim that we are in denial, or that we cannot control our unconscious desire to dominate. People feel threatened by us, so they project that we are threatening them, rather than acknowledge and come to terms with their own emotions.

8s tend to be physically strong. They also tend to have a strong will. We are often expected to make ourselves weak so that others don't feel threatened. If we don't, we are accused of trying to dominate. This is true in life, this is true in the bedroom. My version of playful tends to be more physically active than that of someone much smaller than me.

The difference between playfulness and domination is the intent, whether it is consensual, and whether the other person is strong enough to not get hurt. How healthy both people are is an important factor.

 

[WindowLicker]

This seems to be the crux of every 8/non-8 interaction.

Things that we do are assumed to be dominating, whether we intend them as so or not. People then claim that we are in denial, or that we cannot control our unconscious desire to dominate. People feel threatened by us, so they project that we are threatening them, rather than acknowledge and come to terms with their own emotions.

8s tend to be physically strong. They also tend to have a strong will. We are often expected to make ourselves weak so that others don't feel threatened. If we don't, we are accused of trying to dominate. This is true in life, this is true in the bedroom. My version of playful tends to be more physically active than that of someone much smaller than me.

The difference between playfulness and domination is the intent, whether it is consensual, and whether the other person is strong enough to not get hurt. How healthy both people are is an important factor.

Can you provide actual examples/scenarios of these? Your perspective is completely hidden, I can't make any judgement myself. Being "more physically active" is something i can sort of understand.