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Discussion Starter #21
Conversations are about content to me, but they often seem to be about maintaining a mood to other people.
So true. I tend to check out if it becomes more of the latter.

she peaced out at exactly the point i would as well. said her piece, saw the reception, moved on. only difference is, i think i'd feel obligated to tell middlegirl she's drifting towards stalker turf with that last thing, because that actually is what i think. but i wouldn't expect or wait for anyone to engage with the thought. i'd just put it up out of due diligence and get gone.
I honestly would have peaced out probably much sooner, usually end up in these conversations only because I was asked for advice in the first place...
I saw a comment on there that Rebecca is that person you go to for advice and then do the opposite. lol

i've been thinking about it, and i think what it is is, i'm not into emotional vapourware. i do find people interesting and i can 'gossip' with the best of them. i mean, my hobby right now is watching real-life criminal trials and trying to put the psychological puzzle together so it all properly hangs together for me.

but i need it to have some basis in reality. pure speculation just for the sake of wallowing in a particular mental framework regardless of whether or not it's borne out by the facts on the ground . . . not my thing. that's what i see going on in this clip. the two bracket women don't even care if there's any substance to what they're making up together, and your intj figure is getting voted out of the room because she's bringing a knife to their pillow fight.

or something like that. i dunno. my metaphor-er is broken tonight, but you probably get what i mean. she's basically in the 'wrong' game.
You mean the mind-reading game where you try to figure out why someone is behaving the way they are and read into it all however you want to rationalize it... rather than acknowledging the fact that for whatever reason, said behavior is causing anxiety and you personally don't like it?
 

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...i'm not into emotional vapourware.
I like that phrase. It fills the niche below "drama." It happens when meaning becomes less important than delivery.

As an extreme example, it reminds me of the way some gay men camp it up in order to come across as ultra-feminine. It's why the sound of a group of women is called a hen party. It's why INTJ women sound butch even when they're straight.

These are affectations. Put-ons. That's why we don't like them. Bun-girl is doing it to the extreme.
 

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The lady on the left has no mojo and she does not know how to persuade someone.

The general Degaulle (France) was INTJ or ENTJ. He tried to convinced the politicians to his way of thinking against the Maginot Line but he was ignored.

"A study on military theory, Vers l’armée de métier (1934; The Army of the Future), defended the idea of a small professional army, highly mechanized and mobile, in preference to the static theories exemplified by the Maginot Line, which was intended to protect France against German attack. He also wrote a memorandum in which he tried, even as late as January 1940, to convert politicians to his way of thinking. "

During the war he became Chairman of the Provisional Government of the French Republic for 2 years (In office 3 June 1944 – 26 January 1946) and the French elected him president for 10 years afterwards.

If you do the right things you cannot keep being ignored by the few who really matter.
 

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is it weird i'm so sort-of-entranced by the stilted delivery of all three of the characters that i sort of forgot what they were performing for us?

but with that said yeah, that's pretty typical in some ways. the strawman stupidity of bun-girl is not - ime. either conversations that obvious never happen or they never happen much when i'm around. this is possible because while i do discuss stuff like this with friends, i don't look at it as a communal activity.

i did think the rebecca part was very accurate though. timing and content of her input both.
oh, they happen, especially online. Sometimes I wonder if ppl like bun girl know that their advice is stupid, but they give it wanting to see what would happen to the receiver and/or humiliate them

Recently I read about a lady who was convinced~ to send an STD alert to "her man" in an effort to get him to respond to her text messages. She came back gloating, talking about "he cares about me, y'all" meanwhile the folks who told her this was a good idea are laughing about her behind her back.

:rolleyes:
 

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The lady on the left has no mojo and she does not know how to persuade someone.
The general Degaulle (France) was INTJ or ENTJ. He tried to convinced the politicians to his way of thinking against the Maginot Line but he was ignored.
I agree with this, and I relate to it. They lack the ability to "schmooze." This is a great Yiddish term for socially grooming people in order to position yourself to influence them. It is the foundation for persuasion.

Schmoozing takes so much energy and Fe that I rarely find it worth doing. Other personality types find it easy and fun. I admire them.

Sometimes I wonder if ppl like bun girl know that their advice is stupid, but they give it wanting to see what would happen to the receiver and/or humiliate them

Recently I read about a lady who was convinced~ to send an STD alert to "her man" in an effort to get him to respond to her text messages
Haha. This, I cannot relate to in any way, shape, or form. It is so against anything I would ever do -- but I know people like this!
 

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Discussion Starter #30
If you feel so inclined to do a little reading on the matter this wiki page explains a lot: Attachment in adults. Secure vs insecure.
Lol. I am familiar with that framework. According to the internet, I am either secure or dismissive myself. I guess depending on my present mood? I actually don't know a lot of dismissives (or any) IRL, though. Now that I think about it, that probably explains why I often end up hanging out with someone + their partner, or with a female friend one on one who is in a LTR.

I feel like most people are either secure or anxious-preoccupied IME, though that's just off the top of my head. I mean it's the anxious-preoccupied ones that seem to end up in these dumb conversations haha.
 
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