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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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I was just thinking that in every relationship I'm considering if I can marry this partner, and if it doesn't measure up to life partner status I move on eventually. Is this just an example of ENTJ impatience? I'm sick of dating!

Thoughts, fellow ENTJS?
Maybe not impatience, is it more like good judgment? You can see early on it's not going to work out, so you bail out of the relationship sooner than it would occur to most others? If so, you're available and start a new relationship when someone else would still be slogging along in the doomed one. It becomes self-perpetuating. So, you date more --> bail quickly --> date more --> bail quickly. Maybe you're just frustrated because you have a higher turn over rate. :laughing:

 

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Ah, this is gold. Thank you! C=

If other ENTJs want to contribute, their suggestions/advice are more than welcome as well.
Offer to help others with their problems. Being a super savvy problem solver, that is your trump card. Use it to your advantage. Ask things like:

What's it like in your job/industry?

To get a feel of their situation.

Nobody dislikes someone who is helpful (just keep in mind to always ask "Would it be ok if I offered help/advice/opinion?" to ensure you're not being pushy or seen to be aggressive).
 

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Maybe not impatience, is it more like good judgment? You can see early on it's not going to work out, so you bail out of the relationship sooner than it would occur to most others? If so, you're available and start a new relationship when someone else would still be slogging along in the doomed one. It becomes self-perpetuating. So, you date more --> bail quickly --> date more --> bail quickly. Maybe you're just frustrated because you have a higher turn over rate. :laughing:

It's frustrating and frightening when you lose count and then bump into someone who said "We dated" but you don't remember them.....:laughing:
 

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Maybe not impatience, is it more like good judgment? You can see early on it's not going to work out, so you bail out of the relationship sooner than it would occur to most others? If so, you're available and start a new relationship when someone else would still be slogging along in the doomed one. It becomes self-perpetuating. So, you date more --> bail quickly --> date more --> bail quickly. Maybe you're just frustrated because you have a higher turn over rate. :laughing:

Amen. At one point I was openly "seeing" (with serious potential for commitment) five people at a time. Unfortunately, when it came to committing I had to break up with four people in one day, mass-redundancy style. Would not recommend, Fi Inferior does not like handling that many feels at once. It was pretty efficient though.
 

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Pinched these from the INFJ thread:





I was just thinking that in every relationship I'm considering if I can marry this partner, and if it doesn't measure up to life partner status I move on eventually. Is this just an example of ENTJ impatience? I'm sick of dating!

Thoughts, fellow ENTJS?
I don't fiddle around with someone that doesn't have potential to be a wife partner, why bother time or more valuable even emotional stability on someone that's hardly compatible with you.

I don't think it's impatience it's just our high standards and efficient mindset, the opportunity cost is too high to stay with a 6.
 
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Ah, this is gold. Thank you! C=

If other ENTJs want to contribute, their suggestions/advice are more than welcome as well.
1. Leverage a colleague or friend to make the initial introduction.

The worst part of networking is the initial approach, the opener, the how-the-fuck-am-I-going-to-start-a-conversation-with-a-complete-stranger part. This is made infinitely easier if you use a common connection to make the introduction because the common connection knows a bit about you and the other person to bridge the gap. If there isn’t a common connection to leverage, grab your neighborhood extrovert (or any colleague/classmate) and approach the person as a pair. This will give you a friend to bounce conversation against and supplement ideas to avoid a lull in the interaction.

- Pro tip: Eye contact, smile, and go in for a handshake. This is the holy trinity of openers.

2. Let the other person talk more.

Focus the conversation on the other person. This accomplishes two things: 1) it alleviates the pressure on you to carry the conversation 2) you will look more considerate, interested, and invested in this person because good listeners are few and far between. Introverts often stress about producing charming words, interesting thoughts, and funny jokes while neglecting their key strengths: information intake and internal processing. Let the other person do most of the heavy lifting and inject your insights, thoughts, and opinions as needed.

- Pro tip: Find common ground wherever you can whether it’s that you both attended the same university, own dogs, like the same sports team, watch anime, love grilled cheese– something.

- Pro tip 2: Ask questions or ask them to elaborate on the topics they mentioned, it signals that you are engaged and interested.

- Pro tip 3: But do not assault the other person with a barrage of questions. Don’t come on too strong, that’s creepy and uncomfortable.

3. Stick to your strengths.

It’s less exhausting to network and socialize if you don’t feel like you’re faking 99.9% of the crap that’s coming out of your mouth. Talk about the things you’re actually interested in and that you’re good at.

There are two prominent introvert partners at my firm (INTJ and ISTP) who are known to be short on words but when you ask them about their specializations (one is a health insurance phenom, the other is a pharmaceutical distribution guru) they can talk for days about their areas of expertise. At work, extroverts tend to be generalists but introverts tend to be specialists with deep knowledge of a particular area. What’s yours? What can you speak to that is relevant to the conversation? If you actually like what you’re talking about then it’s not a chore, it’s an energizing exchange of ideas.

- Pro tip: Communicate your strengths and experience through stories. Do not rattle off dense technical concepts that will put the other person to sleep.

- Example: I’m passionate about performance improvement. I remember this one project at work that saved the hospital $1 million when I discovered they were losing $50,000 a month from using ambulances to transport discharged patients home instead of using Uber.

- This is a true story.

4. (General advice – not limited to introverts) Do not approach networking with the mindset that you’re looking for someone to give you a job. Do not take a tone of: “Hi, this is what position I want and this is what you can do for me” because that’s a nonstarter. Instead, approach potential employers and recruiters with the following tone: “I want to learn about your organization, I want to learn about this position, and these are my applicable strengths and skills. This is what I can do for you.”


5. (General advice – not limited to introverts) Always have business cards printed and ready to distribute. Follow up with a LinkedIn invitation to connect after the event.

- Pro tip: The follow-up is clutch. It shouldn’t be overly long or formal but it should anchor the memory of you in the mind of the other person.

- Example: “Hey Joe, it’s John from the networking event yesterday. It was great connecting with you yesterday, learning about your organization, and talking a little USC football. I’m hoping our Trojans do well this football season especially in the opener against Alabama. I hope we can stay in touch. Thanks!”/
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Discussion Starter #1,827
Ask an ENTJ a question:

OK. :tongue:
@Handsome Jack , did you get the job?

Where the hell have you been?

and,

What took you so long to come back?


Good to have you back. :happy:
 

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Ask an ENTJ a question:

OK. :tongue:
@Handsome Jack , did you get the job?

Where the hell have you been?

and,

What took you so long to come back?


Good to have you back. :happy:
Got it. :cool: I was immediately sent to Barcelona for an M&A engagement for few months and just got back. I would have come back sooner but I was trying to catch all the Pokemon.
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Congratulations. Well done, Sir.

I was immediately sent to Barcelona for an M&A engagement for few months and just got back.
The rest of us were holding down the fort here, getting fed a daily dose of election-year politics bullshit.
You poor thing. Several months in Barcelona must have been hell. :laughing:

I would have come back sooner but I was trying to catch all the Pokemon.
Well, at least you've got your priorities straight. :tongue:


Seriously, though. Good to have you back. You've been missed.
 
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If you could be any superhero, who or what would you be?

If you have any superpower, what would it be? *Limit is 3*
 
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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Discussion Starter #1,831
If you could be any superhero, who or what would you be?

If you have any superpower, what would it be? *Limit is 3*
<---- I already am a superhero. :tongue:

Superpower:

time travel
invisibility
the ability to wear the spandex superhero outfit without it chafing, or the knee boots killing my feet
 
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Pinched these from the INFJ thread:





I was just thinking that in every relationship I'm considering if I can marry this partner, and if it doesn't measure up to life partner status I move on eventually. Is this just an example of ENTJ impatience? I'm sick of dating!

Thoughts, fellow ENTJS?
Same. I don't think it's impatience. Investing in a relationship you know won't work is like renovating a house that's about to be demolished.
 

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I was just thinking that in every relationship I'm considering if I can marry this partner, and if it doesn't measure up to life partner status I move on eventually. Is this just an example of ENTJ impatience? I'm sick of dating!

Thoughts, fellow ENTJS?
I guess I don't share the typical ENTJ POV on this one.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am only 23?
When I date, I don't think of the 'end goal' yet, not about him being my life partner, getting married and having kids.
It's all too far fetched for me.
For one, I don't believe in marriage. I believe in family but I don't believe in marriage.
Knowing myself, I honestly don't see how I would be able to live side to side with the same person for the rest of my life. Impossible.
I am way too demanding and fickle in that sense. If the guy is quiet, I would nit pick a lot, and if he isn't, he would drive me crazy.
So my view is, do I see myself entering a serious relationship with that person?
Usually by the 3-4 months mark I have decided already. If the 'faults' I have spotted in that person are too overbearing and I know that it will only result in the destruction of either one or both of us, I am able to break up with them without looking back. "It is for the best."
I honestly don't see the point in wasting time dating someone with whom I can envision the end already.

If after the 3-4 months mark, I still haven't broken up with the guy, it is probably because I have decided that "I can live with that" (but still no way near thinking of getting married). I can be dating someone seriously, and know that we will never get married. Although that is probably a one-sided feeling, coming from me. I choose to continue dating him however, when I believe that we have a lot to learn from each other (and he hasn't driven me crazy yet).

What does that make me? Heh.
 

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If you could be any superhero, who or what would you be?

If you have any superpower, what would it be? *Limit is 3*
Super hero, batman, so I can be Bruce Wayne and sell off the batman shit and just be Bruce Wayne with better allocation of his wealth.

Superpower - mind reading, time traveling, teleportation. That'll do.

Wow I didn't read others responses before I wrote mine but I guess I'm not a very original entj.
 
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I guess I don't share the typical ENTJ POV on this one.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am only 23?
When I date, I don't think of the 'end goal' yet, not about him being my life partner, getting married and having kids.
It's all too far fetched for me.
For one, I don't believe in marriage. I believe in family but I don't believe in marriage.
Knowing myself, I honestly don't see how I would be able to live side to side with the same person for the rest of my life. Impossible.
I am way too demanding and fickle in that sense. If the guy is quiet, I would nit pick a lot, and if he isn't, he would drive me crazy.
So my view is, do I see myself entering a serious relationship with that person?
Usually by the 3-4 months mark I have decided already. If the 'faults' I have spotted in that person are too overbearing and I know that it will only result in the destruction of either one or both of us, I am able to break up with them without looking back. "It is for the best."
I honestly don't see the point in wasting time dating someone with whom I can envision the end already.

If after the 3-4 months mark, I still haven't broken up with the guy, it is probably because I have decided that "I can live with that" (but still no way near thinking of getting married). I can be dating someone seriously, and know that we will never get married. Although that is probably a one-sided feeling, coming from me. I choose to continue dating him however, when I believe that we have a lot to learn from each other (and he hasn't driven me crazy yet).

What does that make me? Heh.
Your modus operandi is the same as the other ENTJs, just less goal-oriented I guess.

Thing is, I'm 28 and if I want children I have to start laying the groundwork now. If I invest in my current relationship and it doesn't work out in 5 years then I might only get time for one more before biological children is no longer an option.

At 24 my then-boyfriend asked me to have children with him and I refused, he was 10 years older and I didn't want to miss out on my 20s. So I feel ya, but what a difference a few years makes.
 

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Proper handshake procedure?


Read something about handshakes and decided to practice with mother (aka susceptible victim).

We disagreed on proper procedure.

I complained that her shake was jiggling my hand forward and back as well as only moving up and down a limited amount (more of a jiggle).

She complained my shake was going too far up and down (about 8-10 inches?), and too straight "like a robot".

Also, she kept cutting off at three of her jiggles. While I kept trying for five good pumps.


Break our stalemate please :)
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Discussion Starter #1,840
Proper handshake procedure?


Read something about handshakes and decided to practice with mother (aka susceptible victim).

We disagreed on proper procedure.

I complained that her shake was jiggling my hand forward and back as well as only moving up and down a limited amount (more of a jiggle).

She complained my shake was going too far up and down (about 8-10 inches?), and too straight "like a robot".

Also, she kept cutting off at three of her jiggles. While I kept trying for five good pumps.


Break our stalemate please :)
Two pumps, up and down. You're shaking hands not milking a cow, or sawing wood. :wink:

Full hand (palm and fingers extended flat) not just fingertips, firm grip, full eye contact.

Shake from the elbow (no limp wrists)
 
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