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How do you recognise an ESFP and catch their attention? I don't mean romantically so, I just really want another ESFP as a friend. :tongue: The last one I met was through an ENTP, and he was a lot of fun, but he lives in a different city. Also, I'm in high school... if that makes any difference to the way they behave. o.o
 

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I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
 

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When you see an introvert, what is usually the first thing that runs through your mind?

Esxps seem so popular. Have you ever wished to be another personality type for a moment? If so, which one?
When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
 

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I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
I recognise myself a little bit in your description of your friend. Although I'm not that extreme. Sharing is pleasurable and rewarding, so sharing any experience with someone else makes it more special to me, and I appreciate it much more than if I had the same experience alone. If I'm alone and no one knows what I experienced, it's almost like it never happened :O No not really, but almost.

It's a strong belief for me that the healthy way is to uncover your true self. Escaping it will, in the long run, turn you into an emtpy shell. No substance within. One can not exist in a healthy way only inside one self, and neither only outside oneself.

So we can learn from each other!!!

Here's a nice vid about how to be alone, for anyone who sometimes is scared of it.

 

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I recognise myself a little bit in your description of your friend. Although I'm not that extreme. Sharing is pleasurable and rewarding, so sharing any experience with someone else makes it more special to me, and I appreciate it much more than if I had the same experience alone. If I'm alone and no one knows what I experienced, it's almost like it never happened :O No not really, but almost.

It's a strong belief for me that the healthy way is to uncover your true self. Escaping it will, in the long run, turn you into an emtpy shell. No substance within. One can not exist in a healthy way only inside one self, and neither only outside oneself.

So we can learn from each other!!!

Here's a nice vid about how to be alone, for anyone who sometimes is scared of it.

Aww that's sweet!

Yeah he and I have just recently realized we'd probably learn a lot about ourselves and life if we start becoming better friends.
 

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When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
honestly, as a "J"-person, sometimes I wish I could get the acknowledgement, attention, and respect you esxp's get. to me, life boils down to results. You can achieve the greatest accomplishments...for example, discover a cure for cancer...but if it goes unnoticed, you kind of feel as if your life wasn't worth living...or it just didn't matter...that's just my perspective...
 

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When I see an introvert, my first thought is "Oh! How interesting that person seems to be!!!"

I would like to be a "J"-person. I want order and control in my life. Maybe I become more and more J-ish every day. Oh, and I would also like to be a "T"-person. Learn how to look at things more objective, without the mushyfushy-feelings. Seperate myself from facts. I think Intps are generally quite J-ish in a way, because even if they often are surrounded by chaos (like their apartment) in their mind things are so much more clear. Thats my impression anyway.
For INTPs, everything is clear and ordered in their minds... but it would make absolutely zero sense to an outsider.

Sometimes the "T" can be a curse, too...
 

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When you see an introvert, what is usually the first thing that runs through your mind?

Esxps seem so popular. Have you ever wished to be another personality type for a moment? If so, which one?
First thing I think is, "Ooh someone who will be a good listener!" Just kidding (sort of). I also think, hmm, what is going on in their head? I enjoy the mystery.
I have a friend I am guessing is an ESFP. He's somewhat of a Sad Sally. He's told me he can't stand himself, he can't stand being with himself, it depresses him. He likes to play music because it let's go of his ego, in the Freudian term. Naturally, I, as a Fi dom, can't help but interpret the letting go of the ego as actually coming close to yourself. I kindly and gently argued this possibility, and the thought of him coming closer to himself made him pale in the face.

Is it an ESFP thing to really despise or fear your 'inner' self? He's terrified of individualism, not in the "Hey I stand out in the crowd" way, but in a way where you recognize that you are YOU and no one else. As an ISFP, I find that thought as exhilarating as cliff diving. But he finds that thought as terrifying as cliff diving, lol. Does this ring a bell? Is this how we differ?

If so, is it healthy for the ESFP to avoid the self, or is it healthy for the ESFP to, gulp, uncover it? For me, I've realized that I need to not be so inner and actually go out into the world, be outside and welcome people in. In other words, be more social. But I wonder if it's the opposite for an ESFP in his/her personal growth.
Well I do not like to be alone with myself because I get energy from interacting with others. So I would not say that I can't stand myself, but I don't like to sit and stare at a wall thinking about who I am at the core. I do my personal growth through interacting with the environment, not through inner reflection.

I think it is healthy to be open to self-discovery, but it doesn't have to look the way it looks for an introvert. I go through processes to find myself, but they don't look like yours do.

But I am like your friend, in enjoying things that take me out of my head into the moment. Which is kind of the opposite of how it sounds like you like to find yourself. I like becoming one with the moment.
 

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First thing I think is, "Ooh someone who will be a good listener!" Just kidding (sort of). I also think, hmm, what is going on in their head? I enjoy the mystery.

Well I do not like to be alone with myself because I get energy from interacting with others. So I would not say that I can't stand myself, but I don't like to sit and stare at a wall thinking about who I am at the core. I do my personal growth through interacting with the environment, not through inner reflection.

I think it is healthy to be open to self-discovery, but it doesn't have to look the way it looks for an introvert. I go through processes to find myself, but they don't look like yours do.

But I am like your friend, in enjoying things that take me out of my head into the moment. Which is kind of the opposite of how it sounds like you like to find yourself. I like becoming one with the moment.
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm a very in-the-moment person too, we share extroverted sensing. But he has literally said he tries to avoid himself. Maybe he is an ISFP who hasn't come to terms with it; OR he thinks there is something wrong with getting energy primarilly thru social interaction? Most of his friends and ex girlfriends are/were introverted, so I could see where he would be pressured to have to reflect mostly in his inner world, even though it may not be natural to him. But I don't understand why he should hate his inner self. I mean, I suppose i used to hate my outer self until I came to terms with who I am. Staying out too long begins to feel unnerving still, but now I'm much more comfortable conversing and introducing myself to new people, and with those I already know. Maybe it's opposite for him? How do insecure extroverts come to terms with their inner world? Or is it something very individual? I know art was the passageway for me into the outer world (and also being in a special relationship).
 

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Hi, ESFPs.

1. What do you value the most?

2. How do you learn the best?

3. What/who excites you or bores you the most, of subject or personality type?
 

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Hi, ESFPs.

1. What do you value the most?
Hard to say. I like to feel good but I value a sense of community, understanding, play.
2. How do you learn the best?
By doing.
3. What/who excites you or bores you the most, of subject or personality type?
Excited by fun ideas, things I haven't done before, things that would be stimulating to my senses like rock-climbing or bungee jumping. Can't really say if a certain personality type excites me. I like ENFPs and I like others too. INTPs are fun. ISFJs and ISTJs are fun. Not sure I have met all the types.

Boring. Dry theory with no application unless applied for humor. Too much stability. Feeling invisible.
 

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Just wanted to say, for the bad rep that ESFPs sometimes get, I'm close to two of them (and related to one) and find them to be delightful people. :)

I do have a question though. One of my ESFP friends likes to come to me with her problems and such, and sometimes I have advice, and sometimes I don't. But usually when I say something to her, she doesn't seem to listen (or maybe it's just that I don't quite understand what she's saying, so my advice isn't that relevant). Is she coming to me just because she needs someone to talk to, rather than looking for advice? Maybe she just needs to express herself and needs someone to listen?

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how do I respond to her? I don't always know what she's looking for. And if she does want advice, what's the best way to communicate it to her? (It's specifically about her ex, who she is afraid of having to see everyday once school starts up again.)
 

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Just wanted to say, for the bad rep that ESFPs sometimes get, I'm close to two of them (and related to one) and find them to be delightful people. :)
Thanks!
I do have a question though. One of my ESFP friends likes to come to me with her problems and such, and sometimes I have advice, and sometimes I don't. But usually when I say something to her, she doesn't seem to listen (or maybe it's just that I don't quite understand what she's saying, so my advice isn't that relevant). Is she coming to me just because she needs someone to talk to, rather than looking for advice? Maybe she just needs to express herself and needs someone to listen?

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how do I respond to her? I don't always know what she's looking for. And if she does want advice, what's the best way to communicate it to her? (It's specifically about her ex, who she is afraid of having to see everyday once school starts up again.)
It is hard to generalize about what she is trying to get, but I think usually when I go to people with a problem - if I want solutions I ask for them. So if I do not come out with a request for solutions, then I just want them to listen - and maybe console me a bit.

So next time ask her does she want advice or is she venting. If she wants advice, be clear, direct and concise. Also explain why you suggest so and so. For me, I need the explanation for the idea, not just the idea.

Chances are she is just processing/venting, though.
 

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Hi, ESFPs.

1. What do you value the most?

I value my family the most. They are the world to me. So it's important for me to have time with them, to call them and so on. And to try to be a good mum to my daughter.

And I value kindness at heart. Empathy. Those sort of things.

2. How do you learn the best?

By doing, definetly. By discussing. And most important, when I have a genuine interest for the subject.

3. What/who excites you or bores you the most, of subject or personality type?
Excites me: All sorts of things. Almost everything. Emergency situations excites me in a way. I've been thinking about if its weird of me.

Personlatiy type: anyone could excite me.

bores me: when nothing happens. Slow meetings where people are just talking and talking and talking without deciding anything.
 

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Emergency situations excites me in a way. I've been thinking about if its weird of me.
If it is weird then I am weird with you. I get a big charge from a crisis also.
Is your one up-manship related to your need for attention?
I don't really do that sort of thing, so I can't answer this one. But I can see how if someone is doing that, it would be for attention.
 

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sorry, but what is "one up-manship" ? :O
Well, for example, I have this coworker. I've been working with her for two years but I don't know her well--nor am I the kind of person that people naturally confide in. But I felt comfortable confiding in her something a bit personal about my past. She immediately jumps back in with, "well, I have an obsession with my weight. When I was 17 I had an eating disorder." I mean, WTH would you ever reveal something like that to someone unless you were looking for attention? Not to mention, eating disorders in and of themselves are a byproduct of attention-seeking.
 

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Sorry if this is asked already on a different thread.

What do ESFPs think of INFJs? (Either as friends or partners)

Just out of curiosity that's all.
I met this guy on holiday, we clicked really really well (possible relationship) and still keep in contact now.
Although, I'm wary/scared of his less interest in long term things/commitment.
 
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