Personality Cafe banner

26481 - 26500 of 26506 Posts

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 (Sp/Sx) 594
Joined
·
738 Posts
I was trying to compare myself with my INTJ dad in that aspect.
Anyone who sees me, the way I look and act, thinks that I'm a very organized person. But I tend to misplace things often as long as others won't notice, aka at home.
My INTJ dad is quite organized, then I noticed his workstation. It can get messy when he's working passionately on a project, and it seems like he knows where everything is.

Thought about asking on the forum and I think I see a pattern, might be an INTJ thing hehe
I think I am pretty similar to your Dad. My whole life can be organized and tidy, until I start working on something.
All of my college binders and lockers in college are crammed with random notes, binders, books, etc.
Of course, it all makes sense to me lol

Oh my god hahahahaha! I would've lost my mind if I were in your shoes!
Glad you've found it btw!
Trust me, I'm glad too.
It was funny though, I think my brother was more worried about my wallet than I was. I knew it would turn up somewhere lol

Reminded me of that one time I lost a cute little gold bracelet. I was so hurt because it was a gift, I flipped the entire house and no luck. After I gave up, I found it in the shower... it was way too close to the drain, thank god it didn't fall in. There were other 2 situation where I lost it and started panicking. After finding it for the third time I stopped wearing it, better stay safe in my drawer.
I think you need to put a bell on that bracelet lol
You could always make it into a necklace, and wear it around your neck. I think that would look pretty nifty
 
  • Like
Reactions: passionate

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,165 Posts
Lets say you've been MIA for months.
Would it annoy you if someone contacted to check if you're alright?
No*

*As long as I like the person and they don't drag out the check-in

I know I pull the disappearing act fairly frequently. My like-minded friends get it and know how to deal but others who tend to maintain regular contact with people and/or think this behavior is a marker of some greater issue ( :rolleyes: ) will touch base but then turn that into an opportunity for "catching up," which for me is a separate and scheduled interaction.

Don't do that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,384 Posts
but then turn that into an opportunity for "catching up," which for me is a separate and scheduled interaction.

Don't do that.
heh.
My INTJ dad is quite organized, then I noticed his workstation. It can get messy when he's working passionately on a project, and it seems like he knows where everything is.
i really appreciate a clear visual field when i see one, but it's the kind of thing i don't need in order to function. so i almost never put energy into creating/maintaining it. i'll appreciate it if it happens to be there, but if it isn't i'm pmuch capable of just blanking it out.

i rely mostly on familiarity with my own habits. i know where important things are because i know what i always do with them. i don't have a 'my x goes there' mindset where it's a rule i impose like an stj might. i just have 'this almost definitely is there.' not because it's a rule but because that's where it always is. most of my important everyday things tend to drift between two or three habitual locations and so long as nothing disrupts that pattern, i'm good.

the danger built into this kind of thing is i really have to watch out for eddies in my personal space-time continuum. i'll lose my wallet on the same day that the house burns down or my sister's kidneys explode, because those are events that seriously disrupt the habit-based soup my mind normally floats in. in those conditions i'll put my keys down somewhere totally out of pattern and have no clue when/where i did it because i'm in a whole different universe anyway.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,623 Posts
I was trying to compare myself with my INTJ dad in that aspect.
Anyone who sees me, the way I look and act, thinks that I'm a very organized person. But I tend to misplace things often as long as others won't notice, aka at home.
My INTJ dad is quite organized, then I noticed his workstation. It can get messy when he's working passionately on a project, and it seems like he knows where everything is.

Thought about asking on the forum and I think I see a pattern, might be an INTJ thing hehe
My dad is also and INTJ and we would work on projects together a lot when I was a kid. I spent a lot of time running back and forth to get tools, and he always knew where they were, even when they weren't put away. I also tend to be the same. As long as I was paying attention when I put something down and it doesn't get moved on me, I know where it is the vast majority of the time. The trade off is, if I wasn't paying attention when I put something down, unless it has a normal "place" it's probably lost forever. That doesn't happen super often though, thankfully.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,623 Posts
heh.


i really appreciate a clear visual field when i see one, but it's the kind of thing i don't need in order to function. so i almost never put energy into creating/maintaining it. i'll appreciate it if it happens to be there, but if it isn't i'm pmuch capable of just blanking it out.

i rely mostly on familiarity with my own habits. i know where important things are because i know what i always do with them. i don't have a 'my x goes there' mindset where it's a rule i impose like an stj might. i just have 'this almost definitely is there.' not because it's a rule but because that's where it always is. most of my important everyday things tend to drift between two or three habitual locations and so long as nothing disrupts that pattern, i'm good.

the danger built into this kind of thing is i really have to watch out for eddies in my personal space-time continuum. i'll lose my wallet on the same day that the house burns down or my sister's kidneys explode, because those are events that seriously disrupt the habit-based soup my mind normally floats in. in those conditions i'll put my keys down somewhere totally out of pattern and have no clue when/where i did it because i'm in a whole different universe anyway.
Relatable. I definitely run on autopilot a lot and depend on things having a "home". But like you said, it's not really structured in the sense that there's a "right" or a "wrong" place for something to be. It's more, this is where I usually put it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lilysocks

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,034 Posts
Lets say you've been MIA for months.
Would it annoy you if someone contacted to check if you're alright?
Yes. It would also ensure that I'll never show back up either. If I'm MIA, I have stuff to do and not enough time or energy for whatever action I'm missing in. The only exception I'd make this for would be super-close friends of mine throughout my life where we've actually been through something really hard-core together. Like, I haven't talked to one of my friends, but he stayed with me in the months after his brother died, a death that I grieved very much. If he were to message me out of no where, I'd be right there as if we never took a day off to begin with.

I think if I were single and it was someone I could be interested in, the "rule" would change to be that I'd be interested in why this person wanted to reach out. If I wasn't interested, I'd just not say anything back. If I was, I'd cautiously say something back after a few days of thinking very hard about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: passionate

·
Registered
I thimk INTP
Joined
·
14,352 Posts
Yes. It would also ensure that I'll never show back up either. If I'm MIA, I have stuff to do and not enough time or energy for whatever action I'm missing in. The only exception I'd make this for would be super-close friends of mine throughout my life where we've actually been through something really hard-core together. Like, I haven't talked to one of my friends, but he stayed with me in the months after his brother died, a death that I grieved very much. If he were to message me out of no where, I'd be right there as if we never took a day off to begin with.

I think if I were single and it was someone I could be interested in, the "rule" would change to be that I'd be interested in why this person wanted to reach out. If I wasn't interested, I'd just not say anything back. If I was, I'd cautiously say something back after a few days of thinking very hard about it.
Your post says something to me I'm not sure what. If I'm MIA I got angry about something. Why wouldn't I say goodby? I would like to know if people care about me. If they don't I'd believe it. If someone annoys me, then it is me. Something is unfinished. They want something. What is it? I think about things being open or closed. Am I open? Why would I close it?
 

·
Registered
I thimk INTP
Joined
·
14,352 Posts
What’s more annoying? A smart person who acts stupid, or a stupid person who acts smart?
More annoying? A stupid person who acts smart. Why? They don't know what they're doing. It's luck. It's an impression. Where is the cure? Where is there hope?

A smart person who acts stupid is just hiding something. They can be uncovered. There is hope.

I may be stupid because I forgot to whom that question was directed. A stupid person may be impressed by his fellow who shows a smart. A smart person who shows stupid is just another stupid.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Registered
ENFP-A 359 sp/sx
Joined
·
1,309 Posts
If you're comfortable sharing, what overwhelms you, and why?
It could be emotionally-, cognitively-, physically-, socially-, conceptually-, or event- related.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Infinitus

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,034 Posts
Your post says something to me I'm not sure what. If I'm MIA I got angry about something. Why wouldn't I say goodby? I would like to know if people care about me. If they don't I'd believe it. If someone annoys me, then it is me. Something is unfinished. They want something. What is it? I think about things being open or closed. Am I open? Why would I close it?
I've noticed that a lot of people assume closeness with me when there hasn't been any intimacy developed at all. The person asking the question could be in that sort of situation or could be asking about a situation like that which is going on. If I'm MIA and I didn't say "bye" to someone I care about, I'd be using up all of my energy on something else.

For example, this person could have disappeared because someone in their family died and then, the next week another person in their family died. I don't know what's going on in this person's life to cause them to go into this introverted mode, but when I'm in my introverted mode, I am not able to function if people are bugging me while I'm in it.

I agree that it's pretty crappy not to communicate with people about what's going on, but in my case and in the case of an INTP I know, we just reach a point where we can't communicate anymore as it takes too much out of us. I believe my daughter does this as well (I have no clue what her type is, but she's definitely an introverted type).

Again, I don't speak for all of the INTJs, but I felt strongly enough about it to respond to what you said.

TLDR: Sometimes the need for "introverting" trumps any sort of social etiquette for me.
 

·
Premium Member
INTJ 5w4 (Sp/Sx) 594
Joined
·
738 Posts
If you're comfortable sharing, what overwhelms you, and why?
It could be emotionally-, cognitively-, physically-, socially-, conceptually-, or event- related.
Here is my biggest gripe. I honestly start to get frustrated when people won't leave me alone after an extended period of time. I'm not too proud of this trait, but I do need to time to "recharge" after a while. Otherwise, I can be quickly annoyed. I try to transition as smoothly into the background as possible in order to achieve this. I am in a much better position as an observer, rather than a direct participant.

I am pretty energy conscious, I am very aware of how much of my daily reservoirs of energy I will use in any given action. Therefore, I like to use the least amount of energy possible throughout my day. If I need to work, I'll work as hard, fast, and efficiently as I need to in order to get the job done as quickly as possible. So, I like to think of my time alone as just me conserving energy. If I don't get a little bit of that time every day, I will start to feel annoyed with other people.

Alternatively, another way to keep me on my heels is to engage in a conversation with me for a long period of time. Now, after years of practicing, I have develop pretty good conversational skills when I need them in a pinch. But it still feels weird.
The best way I can describe it, is that it feels like a dialogue wheel with a time limit. Person A says something to you, and you have a specific amount of choices to respond with. Each one has some positives and consequences, but you really don't have time to process it before the other party starts to feel awkward. So I usually have to wing it, and see where it goes from there. It feels robotic and inflexible, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don't think that is ever going to change (at least, not anytime soon).
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,034 Posts
Hi INTJs. Can someone give me the abridged version of what happened to PerC and tell me about what percentage of the forum members here left? Just short and sweet please?
 

·
Registered
I thimk INTP
Joined
·
14,352 Posts
Hi INTJs. Can someone give me the abridged version of what happened to PerC and tell me about what percentage of the forum members here left? Just short and sweet please?
I don't have a concise answer for that but have these thoughts:

I do realize PerC is diminishing. Could be the virus. Could be oldsters dislike the recent change. Could be competition from other outlets. Could be regulars see too much repetition, but I like to see new things in old things.

The way to keep PerC alive is not to whine about people leaving. All institutions have a natural turnover. There will always be new people of quality. They can keep it going and possibly growing again. Oldsters can become "wise" elders.

I get a pang of loneliness when people die off though.
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,034 Posts
I don't have a concise answer for that but have these thoughts:

I do realize PerC is diminishing. Could be the virus. Could be oldsters dislike the recent change. Could be competition from other outlets. Could be regulars see too much repetition, but I like to see new things in old things.

The way to keep PerC alive is not to whine about people leaving. All institutions have a natural turnover. There will always be new people of quality. They can keep it going and possibly growing again. Oldsters can become "wise" elders.

I get a pang of loneliness when people die off though.
Um ... just to clarify, I wasn't asking to whine. I just wanted to know a quick response of what happened - why everything looks different and about how many members, in general, it affected. My thinking was more along the lines of "how often should I check this during my day?" and things like that. I'd still like an answer, but only if one can refrain from assuming that I want it for some weird reason like the above. :confused:

As long as @lilysocks is here I know it's cool. : )
 

·
Registered
One And Only
Joined
·
751 Posts
If you're comfortable sharing, what overwhelms you, and why?
It could be emotionally-, cognitively-, physically-, socially-, conceptually-, or event- related.
It’s usually a culmination of things involving a fragile mental or emotional state, and inability to solve the situation due to factors outside my control. It’s pretty rare though; a perfect storm kind of situation. Or you can truly break my heart, that works from time to time.
 

·
Registered
I thimk INTP
Joined
·
14,352 Posts
Um ... just to clarify, I wasn't asking to whine. I just wanted to know a quick response of what happened - why everything looks different and about how many members, in general, it affected. My thinking was more along the lines of "how often should I check this during my day?" and things like that. I'd still like an answer, but only if one can refrain from assuming that I want it for some weird reason like the above. :confused:

As long as @lilysocks is here I know it's cool. : )
Hey. I'm an INTP, not an INTJ. What I said was supposed to apply to the general populace, not in the least to be taken personally. Was I too verbose? Sorry. I always want to cover all the bases and sometimes I miss a base.

How often to check? I check for alerts. If I don't feel like checking I go on to do something else. If I'm at the computer (which is often) I check alerts. There is no timeout. You posted recently something. The word "intimacy" caught my eye. I haven't got around to making the reply I wanted. I've always found your posts provocative and find that interesting.
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,034 Posts
Hey. I'm an INTP, not an INTJ. What I said was supposed to apply to the general populace, not in the least to be taken personally. Was I too verbose? Sorry. I always want to cover all the bases and sometimes I miss a base.

How often to check?
No problem. I tend to take things personally lol. I guess it's something I should work on. : )
 

·
Registered
I thimk INTP
Joined
·
14,352 Posts
No problem. I tend to take things personally lol. I guess it's something I should work on. : )
Thanks. Glad to be of help. Sometimes people get mad at me thinking I was pissed with them when that rarely happens.

Now to that other post of yours ... the one that mentions intimacy.

I've noticed that a lot of people assume closeness with me when there hasn't been any intimacy developed at all.
This is really a complex issue. I will try some cases out.

I associate intimacy with a real close emotional relationship. It could last an instant as when two people give each other "high fives." Right? That's when for an instant they hit something great in common. Intimacy really is long term and I assume occurs when there is an emotional simpatico on both sides.

If someone chases after you and you aren't all that interested, that's a one-way thing.

Would I chase after someone else? I'm not sure. I chased after a girl once who was cool toward me. She couldn't really reject me so I kept coming on. I couldn't read her, always hoping. I thought I could win her over and she was flattered. I suppose you don't want to hear about that though.

What if someone is after me? I'd be curious. I'd ask them what they want or expect. If I don't have it I'd tell them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,384 Posts
As long as @lilysocks is here I know it's cool. : )
um :p it's been thinning out for a while iirc even before the big shift. that happened a few weeks (?) ago, and somehow i think a lot of people who may not be actually 'banned' ended up labelled that way afterwards. but i havent' really been keeping track of who was here and who wasn't because it has been pretty quiet.

the new format tends to push me into non-intj areas just becaues i'm lazy and havent' figured out how to shortcut directly into this forum. i'm probably not the only person that's happened to, so there could be an element of pattern-change in any different dynamics you see.

If you're comfortable sharing, what overwhelms you, and why?
people throwing information at me without sufficent space for me to organize and integrate.
people demanding information from me without sufficent space for me to get my mind grounded first.

i think these two concepts could be applied in any of the domains that you listed out.

as far as the why, because i function from some internal area of groundedness. it's kind of hard to describe without sounding poncey and up my own ass. my preferred mode for most things is to be text-independent; i like to integrate and internalize some internal model of what 'is', and then toss out the script and just use that as my reference point. the integration and internalization takes time, so if demands are being made from me without my being able to maintain that internal model it starts to degrade, and then i start losing the plot.

'external' anything really doesn't have taht much meaning to me. i'm not saying i think it's incorrect. it just doesn't mean much to me until i've either run it through my own internal onboarder and created a mental local copy, or looked it up in my internal rolodex and found an existing instance of it that's local. that's when it goes live to my mind.

also, i do NOT tolerate two people talking at me at the same time. i'll be rude to just about anybody if they do that.
 
26481 - 26500 of 26506 Posts
Top