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Discussion Starter #1
I wanted to invite other types out and create a forum where you can get your ISFJ Relationship Questions asked. As you guys know, ISFJs make up a good portion of the population so chances are you may have been in relationship with one or currently in a relationship with an ISFJ.


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What's an ISFJ's attitude on contact? How much is too much? How much is not enough? How often do you feel the need to be with or talk to your guy/gal? Does it bother you if you go periods without contact?
 

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What's an ISFJ's attitude on contact? How much is too much? How much is not enough? How often do you feel the need to be with or talk to your guy/gal? Does it bother you if you go periods without contact?
I'd say the amount of contact could vary from individual to individual. For me personally, I'm fine with going the whole day without talking as long as I can talk to them on the phone at night. But in the past, I'd always text throughout the day and also call them.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
What's an ISFJ's attitude on contact? How much is too much? How much is not enough? How often do you feel the need to be with or talk to your guy/gal? Does it bother you if you go periods without contact?
In a romantic relationship, I would at least want to be able to text my partner and check up on her everyday. I would also like to see her at least 2-3 times a week. Not everyday because she could have school/work schedules. It would only start to bother me if I went like more than 3 days without any contact.


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From an ISFJ's perspective, what would be the best approach by an ISTJ when attempting to overcome long-term relationship issues with an ISFJ? As an ISTJ, I can acknowledge that we tend to be set in our ways and we can come across as cold or indifferent when we're not getting what we want, which only makes things worse. I know ISFJs are emotion based, but most of that stuff goes right over my head. Thanks for any suggestions!
 

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From an ISFJ's perspective, what would be the best approach by an ISTJ when attempting to overcome long-term relationship issues with an ISFJ? As an ISTJ, I can acknowledge that we tend to be set in our ways and we can come across as cold or indifferent when we're not getting what we want, which only makes things worse. I know ISFJs are emotion based, but most of that stuff goes right over my head. Thanks for any suggestions!
Can you elaborate on the specific long term relationship issue?


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Can you elaborate on the specific long term relationship issue?
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It would take a book to convey all the issues and history, but the short story is that the relationship has become routine, predictable, and uninspired and there is very little drive for intimacy on my part since it’s no longer much fun. How should I approach this issue from a communication perspective?
 

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It would take a book to convey all the issues and history, but the short story is that the relationship has become routine, predictable, and uninspired and there is very little drive for intimacy on my part since it’s no longer much fun. How should I approach this issue from a communication perspective?
Hi yeah I would say of all the types ISFJs resemble ISTJs the most

And since both types lead with Si when these types do get into a romantic relationship their relationship is prone to become routined and predictable. From an ISFJ perspective, I think you as an ISTJ should try to make an effort to behave and be warm towards the ISFJ. I have a lot of experience with ISTJs as friends and my dad is an ISTJ. And overall, I like you guys y’all are loyal, responsible, and hard-working like we are. However, you guys can seem very cold and uncaring so try to seem more warm towards the ISFJ, that’s key to getting us to warm up. The ISFJ might be reluctant to change but tell him/her that’s it’s for the good of the relationship. I know when some of my friends want me to try new things I look at it from their perspective and try to make them happy. Good luck with your relationship and I hope you can make it work.


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Also we don’t ask for a lot of affirmation for what we do. So when your ISFJ does something nice for you try to express apperication for it.


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So, me being an ISFJ and into a 3 month relationship, and having said the I love you's pretty early on in the relationship, I just had the talk with my boyfriend that we are moving too fast. He has literally immersed himself into my life -- a total clinger, and has started talking marriage, meeting family, etc. I got caught up in the whirlwind feelings and now I feel smothered and literally like I can't breathe. He lives 1.5 hours away, and so I had initially thought us spending every day together was the way to go, to get to know each other. He spends most nights at my house, and that included overnights. He has even honored my request to not engage in sexual intercourse because of my beliefs, and has stated several times that this is not an issue with him, as he is willing to wait.I guess this is where I feel like man, someone is willing to wait and honor my wishes, but now I'm a douche because something in me has shut down. Now I am left feeling like everything is my fault. He didn’t take the news well. I started giving subtle hints early on by suggesting he see some friends or doing other activities apart. He is now hurt by my all of the sudden sit down talk, and I now feel like shutting down, and feel totally relieved that he has not called or texted me. God, am I an awful person? I feel like a selfish little B****
 
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