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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Ask An ISTP a Relationship Question Thread / Q's on how to know if an ISTP likes you?

:love_heart::love_heart::love_heart::love_heart::love_heart::love_heart:​

PLEASE DIRECT ALL YOUR MUSHY SHIT HERE IN THIS THREAD!​
(A Consolidated place for all types to comfortably ask about ISTPs & Relationships)​

Here is a thread for general relationship questions for/about ISTPs! All types may post here and vent or look for insight into their specific situation. Hopefully, this thread will soon be a repository of knowledge and opinion, for all who stumble across it to examine and learn from. All types please direct all your relationship questions to ISTPs here. ISTPs please feel free to discuss relationships, advise, comment, or answer all inquiries here. Or even vent about or post about relationships for others insight.

Curious on how an ISTP views your type or which types they find most attractive?
http://personalitycafe.com/istp-forum-mechanics/625826-istps-personality-types-do-you-find-biggest-turn-what-about-turn-off.html

ISTP love language poll
http://personalitycafe.com/istp-forum-mechanics/625850-istps-what-your-love-language.html

What do ISTPs value
http://personalitycafe.com/istp-forum-mechanics/625922-istps-values-placement-poll.html

Stumped on what to do with your ISTP? Maybe there will be an answer here please feel free to relay your situation for insight.

Wonder how an ISTP acts if they like you? Feel free to bring up your personal scenario or ask ISTPs how they are in 'wove'

Does your ISTP confuse you, ask about it here.

ISTPs do you want to vent about the things that really urk you in your personal relationship, or in a relationship, post here. Hey other what really pisses you off about us, tell us.

ISTPs want to comment on what really drives them wild? What melts their heart?

(Hopefully a concise thread about all things ISTP/Relationships can curve the numerous threads being individually posted by those who want to ask about their ISTP)
 

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Hehe...the fact that this Relationship thread is new (I assume there wasn't a previous one) says a lot in itself!

I do have a question as a matter of fact. I believe I am an INTJ and that my partner is an ISTP.

I've got issues with work (as in work comes before everything and I frankly work ridiculous hours) and food which I am trying to overcome. As work and food are basically emotional crutches for me (an unfortunate pattern started as a child), overcoming them is leading to lots of pretty uncomfortable emotional swings. As much as possible I try not to show these as I don't want to make my problems his. I know he sees it anyway - he sees all!!!

Any of you male ISTPs who have been in this situation; what is your take on this from your side of the fence? Do you just batten down and hope it passes as soon as possible? Do you desperately want to help but feel unable? Does it make you feel 'less' if you are unable to help? OR Since you guys (from what I can see) deal with your own issues internally also, just trust that your partner will crush it eventually and pipe up with encouragement every now and then if it looks like things are getting dire? OR none of the above
 

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Little disclaimer before I begin; I am not anyone or everyone.

When it comes to help of any kind at all, I generally follow the ask and you shall receive rule. I trust people to figure out their problems for themselves. If they do ask for help, I will not hesitate to sit down with the person and talk it over with them in depth.

And yes, I also recognize when people need help and are not asking for it. It all depends on the situation whether or not I step in.
@LittleMermaid
 
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Hehe...the fact that this Relationship thread is new (I assume there wasn't a previous one) says a lot in itself!

I do have a question as a matter of fact. I believe I am an INTJ and that my partner is an ISTP.

I've got issues with work (as in work comes before everything and I frankly work ridiculous hours) and food which I am trying to overcome. As work and food are basically emotional crutches for me (an unfortunate pattern started as a child), overcoming them is leading to lots of pretty uncomfortable emotional swings. As much as possible I try not to show these as I don't want to make my problems his. I know he sees it anyway - he sees all!!!

Any of you male ISTPs who have been in this situation; what is your take on this from your side of the fence? Do you just batten down and hope it passes as soon as possible? Do you desperately want to help but feel unable? Does it make you feel 'less' if you are unable to help? OR Since you guys (from what I can see) deal with your own issues internally also, just trust that your partner will crush it eventually and pipe up with encouragement every now and then if it looks like things are getting dire? OR none of the above

I hope you do not mind me responding to this as a female ISTP.

First, I have a friend who is an INTJ, he is also a workaholic and has difficulties with food.
Is this common for some INTJs? If you know.

Second, I have not said anything to him about it.
I do hope he is working it out and do not stress over it.
He is his own person so, I am going to let him do what he needs to do on his own.
I trust him but sure if it is becoming dire I will try to give him my support by being positive.

Unless he asks for help that is then yes I would definitely help.

I deal with my issues mostly internally as well.

Of course it depends on the situation and I only speak for myself.
 

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I hope you do not mind me responding to this as a female ISTP.
Of course not. :happy:

First, I have a friend who is an INTJ, he is also a workaholic and has difficulties with food.
Is this common for some INTJs? If you know.
My INTJ brother is also overweight and gets caught up in work (or whatever has his attention) to the exclusion of everything else. I suspect this result is the likely effect on INTJs that our background would produce but I don't think it is particularly common (the weight thing anyway). Someone asked the overweight question on the INTJ board a while back and a few people got their knickers in a knot over it (as opposed to just not answering) plus photos on the INTJ board show mostly healthy looking folk.

Second, I have not said anything to him about it.
I do hope he is working it out and do not stress over it.
He is his own person so, I am going to let him do what he needs to do on his own.
I trust him but sure if it is becoming dire I will try to give him my support by being positive.

Unless he asks for help that is then yes I would definitely help.

I deal with my issues mostly internally as well.

Of course it depends on the situation and I only speak for myself.
Ok. What Benstein said pretty much nailed what I suspect is going in but, you know, every now and then there is a little doubt since the explicit communication isn't there, plus the emotional swings feed into that doubt. Feeling much better about it all today.
 

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Of course not. :happy:


My INTJ brother is also overweight and gets caught up in work (or whatever has his attention) to the exclusion of everything else. I suspect this result is the likely effect on INTJs that our background would produce but I don't think it is particularly common (the weight thing anyway). Someone asked the overweight question on the INTJ board a while back and a few people got their knickers in a knot over it (as opposed to just not answering) plus photos on the INTJ board show mostly healthy looking folk.



Ok. What Benstein said pretty much nailed what I suspect is going in but, you know, every now and then there is a little doubt since the explicit communication isn't there, plus the emotional swings feed into that doubt. Feeling much better about it all today.
Glad you did not mind :)


He actually has the opposite problem, he doesn't eat enough =/ but I can see both potentially being a problem for an INTJ.
& I would never think all of you are overweight (or underweight), I was just curious if food could be an issue that was related to your type.

I figured I'd just answer since I was asking a question any way.

Happy he helped and that you are doing better with it.
That's the most important thing.
 

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He actually has the opposite problem, he doesn't eat enough =/ but I can see both potentially being a problem for an INTJ.
You know I think that is a stereotype for INTJs - being small framed, slim. As far as the stereotype goes though I don't think it's an issue with food so to speak.

& I would never think all of you are overweight (or underweight), I was just curious if food could be an issue that was related to your type.
Yeah, I know :happy:. It would be a bit tiring if we had to put that disclaimer on everything we posted wouldn't it? I knew what you meant.

I figured I'd just answer since I was asking a question any way.
Happy for many and varied answers. Gives me more to chew over.
 

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You know I think that is a stereotype for INTJs - being small framed, slim. As far as the stereotype goes though I don't think it's an issue with food so to speak.
Okay thank you :)


Yeah, I know :happy:. It would be a bit tiring if we had to put that disclaimer on everything we posted wouldn't it? I knew what you meant.
It would indeed :laughing: I just wanted to make sure, I didn't want to be seen as thinking in stereotypes.

Happy for many and varied answers. Gives me more to chew over.
Awesome. Thanks again.
 

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If a new Istp acquaintance/friend stops replying after like three weeks of on and off chat, does that mean I'm never going to speak to them again, or they're going to pop up randomly in like 6 months? (just to be prepared) Also can anyone shed any insight onto why they stopped replying/communicating? This is more a friend problem than a relationship problem, but a friendship is a type of relationship, so yeah.
 

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If a new Istp acquaintance/friend stops replying after like three weeks of on and off chat, does that mean I'm never going to speak to them again, or they're going to pop up randomly in like 6 months? (just to be prepared) Also can anyone shed any insight onto why they stopped replying/communicating? This is more a friend problem than a relationship problem, but a friendship is a type of relationship, so yeah.
OK. So, let's look what we've got here.

First of all I want to give my usual disclaimer of I'm not anyone or everyone and ask that jazz. With that our of the way, there could be a number of reasons the ISTP in question stopped communicating. I don't have much information to work with, so there are multiple possibilities.

First of all, said ISTP may just not like you. I may tolerate you on and off for a while but only for so long. After that I'll just flat out ignore you (but still read your texts).

The exact opposite may also be true. Said ISTP may like you, and is just nervous. I've known people who don't always text back because they like me. It's possible they haven't found their comfort zone around you yet. In this case you just have to be patient. You will be rewarded.

Finally you might have just pissed them off. You could have said, or failed to say something that irked them and they are just on a reset cycle. Six months is a little drastic. If six months pass without anything, the Istp is probably gone. (But will remember you. I hardly forget anyone, even if I need a quick refresher)

Again, it's hard to peg because I don't have much to work with. Regardless, those are my top most likely reasons they stopped communication. We aren't exactly the most reliable communicators.
 

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OK. So, let's look what we've got here.

First of all I want to give my usual disclaimer of I'm not anyone or everyone and ask that jazz. With that our of the way, there could be a number of reasons the ISTP in question stopped communicating. I don't have much information to work with, so there are multiple possibilities.

First of all, said ISTP may just not like you. I may tolerate you on and off for a while but only for so long. After that I'll just flat out ignore you (but still read your texts).

The exact opposite may also be true. Said ISTP may like you, and is just nervous. I've known people who don't always text back because they like me. It's possible they haven't found their comfort zone around you yet. In this case you just have to be patient. You will be rewarded.

Finally you might have just pissed them off. You could have said, or failed to say something that irked them and they are just on a reset cycle. Six months is a little drastic. If six months pass without anything, the Istp is probably gone. (But will remember you. I hardly forget anyone, even if I need a quick refresher)

Again, it's hard to peg because I don't have much to work with. Regardless, those are my top most likely reasons they stopped communication. We aren't exactly the most reliable communicators.

^I agree with all of this and it mostly rings true for me too.

I just wanted to add that you also could have maybe sent him a mixed signal somehow.
If I'm friends with a guy and he says something non-friend-ish, I may take this as him wanting us to go a step further.
Which might make me back-off a little. Because I may not be sure how I feel about that or I don't want things to go further.

Not saying this is the case but just thought I'd throw that out there.
 
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OK. So, let's look what we've got here.

First of all I want to give my usual disclaimer of I'm not anyone or everyone and ask that jazz. With that our of the way, there could be a number of reasons the ISTP in question stopped communicating. I don't have much information to work with, so there are multiple possibilities.

First of all, said ISTP may just not like you. I may tolerate you on and off for a while but only for so long. After that I'll just flat out ignore you (but still read your texts).

The exact opposite may also be true. Said ISTP may like you, and is just nervous. I've known people who don't always text back because they like me. It's possible they haven't found their comfort zone around you yet. In this case you just have to be patient. You will be rewarded.

Finally you might have just pissed them off. You could have said, or failed to say something that irked them and they are just on a reset cycle. Six months is a little drastic. If six months pass without anything, the Istp is probably gone. (But will remember you. I hardly forget anyone, even if I need a quick refresher)

Again, it's hard to peg because I don't have much to work with. Regardless, those are my top most likely reasons they stopped communication. We aren't exactly the most reliable communicators.
Hey, thanks for the reply!
I thought they seemed to like me (as a friend) but who knows? People are pretty confusing.
I actually thought it could be something to do with comfort zone, so this could be the explanation. But I'll guess we'll have to wait and see (or not see).
I don't think I said anything that could have really pissed them off. But then again, it is me and so the failing to say something that I should have said could also definitely be an option.
Well, I have a better idea of why now. So thanks again. :)

I kinda relate to (and so understand) what you're saying about the not forgetting people. I'm not sure it'd be a good thing in this situation, but it's not necessarily a bad thing either.

^I agree with all of this and it mostly rings true for me too.

I just wanted to add that you also could have maybe sent him a mixed signal somehow.
If I'm friends with a guy and he says something non-friend-ish, I may take this as him wanting us to go a step further.
Which might make me back-off a little. Because I may not be sure how I feel about that or I don't want things to go further.

Not saying this is the case but just thought I'd throw that out there.
Hmm, I'm not sure. It's possible that something could have been taken the wrong way. But to be fair, their signals were definitely more mixed than mine. (and I could have been perceived as backing off after one of these mixed signals. Could this have caused a problem?)

Another thing is that they seemed to be acting more FP than TP at times when we chatted. (I did consider that I may have typed them wrongly, but all things considered I'm pretty sure (78%) that they're an ISTP.)
 

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Hmm, I'm not sure. It's possible that something could have been taken the wrong way. But to be fair, their signals were definitely more mixed than mine. (and I could have been perceived as backing off after one of these mixed signals. Could this have caused a problem?)

Another thing is that they seemed to be acting more FP than TP at times when we chatted. (I did consider that I may have typed them wrongly, but all things considered I'm pretty sure (78%) that they're an ISTP.)
That could be the problem if you are backing off then he will back off as well.

It's tough to say if he is indeed an ISTP but ISTPs can appear FP if they're in a unhealthy state.
 

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That could be the problem if you are backing off then he will back off as well.

It's tough to say if he is indeed an ISTP but ISTPs can appear FP if they're in a unhealthy state.
Oh, hm.. I didn't realise that it could be perceived as backing off until it was too late, :frustrating: but I suppose there isn't much I can do about that now. And I suppose its probably better to appeared to have backed off than not backed off.

Yeah, we weren't that close so I can't really say for definite. The person hangs around with FP's so I guess it could be partly to do with that. (and although I don't want to admit this, I might not be the best at typing people..) I'm gonna stop thinking about it now and just wait and see what happens. Thanks for the advice! It's helped me understand the situation a bit more and so it's stopped bugging me. (I don't know a lot of ISTP's so yeah.. xD)
 
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