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In romantic relationships, do you tend to find yourself more often with other extroverts or with introverts? Which do you usually prefer being with, or which relationships tends to be more successful?
I am dating an ESFJ. I am INTP so i guess whether it's E or I is okay for them as long you could give them comfortable relationship. But sometimes ESFJ is clingy. And i need more space to think about anything related to my inner world. They ask same question every morning and dont get bored by doing that. It's like by doing that they show us they care a lot. So after several years i just try to be flexible with that and understand him more.
 

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@crabandgoldfish, just wanted to say hi! I'm an ESFJ married to an INTP so just wanted to say I hear you. Nice to see another couple like this on here! One thing I would say is that there are many different ways to label a situation and I think just as you could describe her actions as being "clingy," she could describe yours as being "distant" .... when in actuality she's just trying to connect through small talk to show she cares and feel that you care back and when you need alone / introverted time you're not trying to be distant, you're just needing to recharge. I think the more both people can talk and communicate their needs like this and make sure they're still coming the other person's way as well then it doesn't have to be clingy vs. distant or other negatively charged terms like that but can just be seen more as neutral, if that makes sense.
 

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@Pippi, I can't speak for all of ESFJs obviously but I have an ENTP brother. I get along with my brother pretty well! He's hilarious and we can really vibe off each other. He has a great energy. The times he annoys me to no end though is if we're at a family function and within minutes (literally) he's playing devil's advocate and debating some hot button issues not because he truly cares but because of the joy of the banter. Or when he was in his teens and 20's and just super blunt (he called it "just being honest") and would trample over people's feelings... He's matured a bit in his 30's but still can put his foot in his mouth. lol. I appreciate the show he puts on sometimes and other times I think it comes off too strong in social settings and wish he'd chill out a bit because I think he thinks he's winning everyone over with his charm but to me it feels like it comes on too strong and feels a bit unauthentic. Overall though, I love him and think he has a big heart for his family (even if it makes him restless at times).
 

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@SummerRoads
Wow! That's so wonderful to meet another INTP and ESFJ couple. I hope we can get along well as we have same sircumstance. It's a relieved to know that there are married couple of INTP and ESFJ combination. How long have you been married to your INTP partner? How do you deal with different lifestyle as you are an organize person (XXXJ)? How about the chores? Could you be okay with him being an unorganize one?
 

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In romantic relationships, do you tend to find yourself more often with other extroverts or with introverts? Which do you usually prefer being with, or which relationships tends to be more successful?
I've been with my INTP for over 8 years now, and we're quite happy together. I only had a couple of relationships before him (none too serious), and one was probably an ENTJ, and the other was probably an ENTP. There wasn't much difference as far preference for me with the extraverts. I might have gone to more social gatherings together with the E's, but other than that, the main difference is that my INTP is the best person I know, while the other two turned out to be jerks. As an extravert, being with someone who is quite introverted takes understanding and grace on both sides, but knowing type helps so much. Because my husband and I have the same functions in the opposite order, we tend to balance each other out quite nicely and help support each other's weaknesses.

Also, it may be interesting to know that in my life currently, my closest friends are all introverted. So I also may have something of a preference for introverts overall currently.
I've been with my INTP for over 8 years now, and we're quite happy together. I only had a couple of relationships before him (none too serious), and one was probably an ENTJ, and the other was probably an ENTP. There wasn't much difference as far preference for me with the extraverts. I might have gone to more social gatherings together with the E's, but other than that, the main difference is that my INTP is the best person I know, while the other two turned out to be jerks. As an extravert, being with someone who is quite introverted takes understanding and grace on both sides, but knowing type helps so much. Because my husband and I have the same functions in the opposite order, we tend to balance each other out quite nicely and help support each other's weaknesses.

Also, it may be interesting to know that in my life currently, my closest friends are all introverted. So I also may have something of a preference for introverts overall currently.
Yay! You are my forum twin! ESFJ here, dating an INTP for past 1.5 and you couldn't have worded it better: best person I know. We've had our ups and downs (and downs aren't even really 'down' like what I was used to; more so us figuring out being together because he was scared in general {how cute are the shy ones?!} and a few other bumps along the way), but we've remained in tact and still an amazing friendship when we weren't seeing each other/separate.

The balance of the two is amazing!

Also, how are there no questions about us in here! I do think many introverted people I know (because I love them and seek them usually always) only know a handful of extroverts. Maybe its : know 1, know them all, so none of them have questions for us? lol Hmm...


Wow. At least from this thread we have four couple of ESFJ and INTP, included me. I am INTP dating ESFJ for 4 years. It's like our differences tend to attract each other. That's good then. I am really happy to meet another ESFJ and INTP combination.
 

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Just so you guys know, I was finally able to type my son this last year and he is an ESFJ and his twin sister is an INTP (she was easier to type) and they've always been super close and complemented each other. What one didn't do, the other picked up. I've watched this team since the beginning and I think it is a super special teamwork. At this point at age 15 they both want more time with each other, but they both view the other as not wanting it... LOL And when I told my INTP daughter this, she got a huge goofy smile, and when I told my son this he says "Then why doesn't she come talk to me! She doesn't ever come talk!"
But I'm sure they'll work it out. They always have.... and they have always been super bored without the other. =)
 

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@Llyralen, I literally just said a big "Awwwwww....." out loud! That is the sweetest thing!! I love that! Thank you for sharing <3

@crabandgoldfish, we've been married 10+ years and have kids too. I used to think I was the only organized one but over the years I've come to realize he's very organized in his head and while he's quite the minimalist, he cares for his things well and has them in the places he wants them in... I think it's an efficiency kind of thing for him. Chores were the bain of our existence early in our marriage. I pretty much did everything plus kids and it was just too much. When I came to him he'd pull some INTP stuff and I left really frustrated and upset. It took me waaaayyyy too long to get over avoiding conflict and just flat out telling him to stop with his word games and just do it.

@Bluezone, I don't think I really know any ISFPs at all, sorry! But thanks for the shout out to ESFJs! I think we're pretty cool too :)
 
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