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Do you think of sex as just something fun to do, or as an union between two people for life?

  • Sex is just something between two lovers

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sex is just something to do with friends

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sex is really just for having chidren

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Is sex an union between two people for life?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I used to think of sex as can be done with anybody, though not anymore

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sex is between two people in a long term relationship

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    9
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Discussion Starter #1
When a person wants to find someone for marriage, it's important to picture yourself what it would be like to spend a life with the person:

If there are butterflies in the stomach, it's not right.
If there is a freezing or stopping of the heart, it's not right.
If there is a a disgust in the stomach and a sudden jolt to the heart, then it's not right.
If there is down-cast feel of the shoulders, then it's not right.
If there is a jolt or churning of the stomach, and thinking that the person is not right for you, then it's not right (no matter how enthusiastic the other side might be)

Also, people can change, so if a relationship feels like it has turned cold or sour, please decide to end the relationship, for personal well-being.

When deciding to end the relationship, please don't consider meeting up with the other person, especially if he is likely to get very emotional, and communication is likely to break down. In this case, please consider getting your parents to help you settle the differences in understanding.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
I see sex as union between two people for life, and before sex, there can be mutual masturbation to get to know one another (one also has to consider each other's libido). Girls like their husbands to be virgins after all.
 

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… but Why?
I 'm unable to understand why anyone would actively search for a marriage.
Without marriage, your partner is less committed to the relationship and could easily leave you any time without much hassle. There's this celebrity I know of, he was with his girlfriend for 8 years, and his girlfriend broke up with him, and then he lost her forever. He tried to get her back for months, but he couldn't get her back, she has flown away from him forever, lol.
This is the consequence of being together with someone without marriage. They could break up with you and leave you any time without much hassle.

If they're married, she would have a harder time leaving him, given that a divorce is a much more complicated process and nobody likes going through it. For this reason, the breakup rates between unmarried couples tend to be much more higher as compared to the divorce rates between married couples.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
… but Why?
I 'm unable to understand why anyone would actively search for a marriage.
Heterosexuals, and heterosocials, have an easier time focusing on studies and work (or career development), when they marry earlier
 

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ENTJ 7w8 sx/so
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I'm going to answer the title prompt and I'd say pretty happy. I wouldn't be able to answer the sex question in the poll until after some time though.
 

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I didn't vote. All of your options just sound wharped to me. Sex is a big deal but it's not strictly for marriage. Sex can be just sex, but it's just not nearly as good as sex in a meaningful long term relationship. Which means that 'just sex' isn't especially alluring for me. There isn't much incentive to have 'just sex' when it isn't that far off from masturbation.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I didn't vote. All of your options just sound wharped to me. Sex is a big deal but it's not strictly for marriage. Sex can be just sex, but it's just not nearly as good as sex in a meaningful long term relationship. Which means that 'just sex' isn't especially alluring for me. There isn't much incentive to have 'just sex' when it isn't that far off from masturbation.
I have added the option "Sex is between two people in a long term relationship", which you can pick. Otherwise, you can pick "Sex is just something between two lovers"
 

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I have added the option "Sex is between two people in a long term relationship", which you can pick. Otherwise, you can pick "Sex is just something between two lovers"
That's my point. Neither work. You're saying it's either/or. I disagree.
 

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Discussion Starter #10

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Discussion Starter #12
Sex is an intimate experience that is best had with a limited number of partners but isn't always meaningful.
So, "Sex might not be meaningful, and is better done with a select few"?
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Not exactly. I said 'isn't always' because usually it is. At least it has been for me.
"Sex isn't always meaningful, and is better done with a select few" sounds very similar in meaning to "Sex is just something to do with friends"
 

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Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
It doesn't to me at all.
"Sex isn't always meaningful, and is better done with a select few" sounds very similar in meaning to "Sex is just something to do with friends", because it's like "Friendships aren't always meaningful, and it's better to have a select few, meaningful friends"
 

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"Sex isn't always meaningful, and is better done with a select few" sounds very similar in meaning to "Sex is just something to do with friends", because it's like "Friendships aren't always meaningful, and it's better to have a select few, meaningful friends"
You're repeating yourself and I'm disagreeing.
 

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Discussion Starter #18

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Sex is such a primal part of the human condition that pre-dates marriage or any sort of formal union. I know that there are many other species (including primates) that do not just choose one mate. I don't think it makes sense to put such societal limits on sexuality because it's so personal and essential to the human condition. For these reasons, I don't think it makes sense to bind sex only with marriage or even a relationship. I'm very monogamous and prefer to be in a long-term relationship, but I understand that others express their sexuality in different ways.

i.e. it doesn't have to happen under any certain parameters besides two humans wanting to. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #20 (Edited)
Besides asking yourself whether you can picture yourself spending a lifetime with the person (ask yourself if there is something you can learn from the other person), also ask if there will be spiritual growth with the person. The most important aspect of living has to be spiritual growth, so it's just as important to check if there can be spiritual growth with the significant other.

You can additionally ask, "by being with the person, will my sympathy for others grow?"

And, "are our libido levels, and views about living, on the same level?"
 
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