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Discussion Starter #1
First a little background to hopefully clarify things some (Sorry, this will be a little lengthy):
I work for a fairly large mental health facility in upstate NY that has many group homes (14 clients live in one large house run by mental health staff), SROs (80 - 100 clients live in their single occupancy room again run by many mental health staff), and TAPs (mental health treatment apartments). I call the company I work for DePaul-Mart because we are essentially the Walmart of mental health facilities in the city where I live. We have a contract with a huge (billion dollar industry) pharmacy that delivers our client's medications to our various residential sites. I believe DePaul is seen as something of a "medium size fish" to this pharmacy that delivers to a multitude of various facilities. I happen to be the person at my residential facility that acts as both a mental health counselor and the person responsible for ordering all our clients medications (so I have a lot of interaction with this pharmacy on almost a daily basis).
Within the last two years I have had several encounters with the manager of the pharmacy (the very top man) at this billion dollar company. And for the love of god.. wouldn't you know it.. this is the man that very much intrigues me. Why this man could not be one of the pharmacy techs is beyond me.. but he's not, and that is more than part of the problem.
As an INFP I personally don't really care one way or the other what his position is, how much he makes, what kind of car he has, or anything else that he might have that is of monetary value. I'm intrigued by him regardless of his "status" in life. I don't get many opportunities to interact with him, but always try to find ways that I can without seeming like I'm stalking him. :)
I know many of the lower level pharmacy people because we interact so often, but I can't really pump them for information about their boss because:
1. That would be unprofessional of me.
2. He's their boss.
3. When I do bring up his name I can tell he intimidates the heck out of them because they saying things like "oh, we don't want to bother him with this." Mentally I'm think "Well yes I DO what to bother him because I want to get to know him better!!" But of course I don't.

On the occasions when I have interacted with him he is always just so darn nice and a little over-accommodating to me. He sort of stumbles all over himself to give me things like pharmacy pens, promotional items, etc. when we interact which I find extremely cute and endearing on his part. From my interaction with him I find him simply adorable.. in a way that only INTJs can be.. I genuinely believe he does an extremely good job with the things he does as the general manager of this facility. He has employed an incredible staff (that is an excellent reflection upon him as the manager), and when I have the opportunity to let him know how much I appreciate something he or his staff has done.. he seems to love it. It appears to matter at great deal to him that I'm pleased with whatever I'm thanking him for. He'll usually have me repeat at least once whatever I'm making a point to thank him for by saying somewhere in the conversation "so you liked X" as if he didn't get me right the first time.. and as a possible INTJ you know he did.. :)
Most recently in an effort to "get to know him better" I have engaged his help in a MBTI project that I'm doing. I'm almost certain he's an INTJ, but with as little interaction as we've had over the last few years I can't be 100% sure without testing conformation. So I called him the other day to genuinely thank him for something, and ended the conversation by asking if he would be willing to take the test to see if he is what I believe he is (INTJ) for the project I'm doing. Basically I'm trying to correctly identify and interview (prior to testing) someone from each of the 16 MBTIs. It's like a MBTI scavenger hunt. He appeared more than willing to do this so I faxed him a basic MBTI test. I asked him to not do the test while he was at work so that the results would hopefully be more accurate. He's going to do the test while he's off next week and let me know when he's finished with the test.

This is where I need an INTJ's perspective if you're willing to give it:
1. Am I possibly misinterpreting this INTJs "good business behavior" as personal friendliness? (if he's INTJ is it possibly he acts the same with all business clients?)
2. As an INTJ would you behave as he has with me (overly friendly), willing to take a lengthy MBTI test, extremely accommodating.. if you viewed our relationship as merely "business"?
3. I would honestly like to get to know this man better. How on earth do I do this without it possibly seeming like I'm interested in him due to his "status"? Because of the position he has, it's darn hard to get opportunities to interact with him as much as I would like.. :(
4. He appears to be fairly nervous and shy when interacting with me.. even if he wanted to "make a move" I don't see him doing it. I'm not sure if our professional interaction automatically negates this option in his mind. It doesn't in my mind, but it might in his... I'm unsure how an INTJ would see this aspect of the relationship. Is anything more than a business relationship more than likely not an option in his mind?
5. I very much want to invite him out for coffee once he provides me his test so we can discuss his results.. Would this wound an INTJ males ego?

If you're still with me, thanks for enduring the length of the post. Any insight you might be willing to offer into the mind of the illusive male INTJ mind would be greatly appreciated. And yes, I realize if he ends up testing as ISTJ this is a whole different ball of wax... but I pretty firmly believe he is INTJ. :)
 

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I know this probably sounds unfair:

Is there any way to break down musings to fact and perhaps change font style to something which doesn't bleed all the words together in a homgenised curly wall of text....I sincerely have tried to push away the feelings of revulsion to read this.

With that aside and back to fairness.

Just follow what your intuition is telling you and invite him over for coffee....go on...you know you want to.
 

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INTJs have egos?

I know this probably sounds unfair:

Is there any way to break down musings to fact and perhaps change font style to something which doesn't bleed all the words together in a homgenised curly wall of text....I sincerely have tried to push away the feelings of revulsion to read this.
Let's see if I read this correctly.

Overview:

  • Works at a mental health facility as a counselor/person who orders medication.
  • Finds the manager of this big company intriguing.
  • Doesn't get to see him much but goes out of her way to try and do so.
  • Feels she cannot ask her fellow employees about him to lest it sound unprofessional. Their own reactions suggest some business-intimidation.
  • The times she has spoken with him she has found him to be an enjoyable individual who enjoys what he does and does it well. He is very nice and polite to her. ("accomodating")
  • He agreed to take an MBTI test, which she faxed to him. She thinks he is likely INTJ.

Wants to know:

  • If she is misintepreting the kindness/politeness as personal as opposed to "good business behavior".
  • If we would be willing to act as he has if we were in the same situation if it were 'just business'. (Be very nice, take an MBTI test, be accomodating, etc.)
  • How to show that she is interested in him and not his financial status.
  • If being in a business situation would negate the possibility of a relationship in his mind. ("He appears to be fairly nervous and shy when interacting with me." [sic])
  • Wants to invite him out for coffee and discuss his test results, would like to know if this would hurt his ego.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I know this probably sounds unfair:

Is there any way to break down musings to fact and perhaps change font style to something which doesn't bleed all the words together in a homgenised curly wall of text....I sincerely have tried to push away the feelings of revulsion to read this.
Could I perhaps offer you a cookie??! :unsure:



With that aside and back to fairness.

Just follow what your intuition is telling you and invite him over for coffee....go on...you know you want to.
Actually.. yes I do.. thanks for your suggestion. :)
 

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Let's see if I read this correctly.

Overview:

  • Works at a mental health facility as a counselor/person who orders medication.
  • Finds the manager of this big company intriguing.
  • Doesn't get to see him much but goes out of her way to try and do so.
  • Feels she cannot ask her fellow employees about him to lest it sound unprofessional. Their own reactions suggest some business-intimidation.
  • The times she has spoken with him she has found him to be an enjoyable individual who enjoys what he does and does it well. He is very nice and polite to her. ("accomodating")
  • He agreed to take an MBTI test, which she faxed to him. She thinks he is likely INTJ.

Wants to know:

  • If she is misintepreting the kindness/politeness as personal as opposed to "good business behavior".
  • If we would be willing to act as he has if we were in the same situation if it were 'just business'. (Be very nice, take an MBTI test, be accomodating, etc.)
  • How to show that she is interested in him and not his financial status.
  • If being in a business situation would negate the possibility of a relationship in his mind. ("He appears to be fairly nervous and shy when interacting with me." [sic])
  • Wants to invite him out for coffee and discuss his test results, would like to know if this would hurt his ego.
Jolly good work!

Ok....I think my Ni told me to tell OP to go for it.....a coffee never hurt anyone.
 

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And use a different font while typing him. In fact, never, ever use that font again, for any reason. If you want something fancy, use Palatino.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
And use a different font while typing him. In fact, never, ever use that font again, for any reason. If you want something fancy, use Palatino.

Sorry you don't happen to like the font I use. I'm also sorry (for you) that I'm not going to alter in any way the font I use for you, or anyone else. Perhaps now you have something else to post in the "things that piss INTJs off" thread... (when all is said and done people... it's a font.. get a grip).
 

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It's no skin of my nose, really. You came here for advice, I'm giving it. INTJs can be really anal about typography, and this includes the object of your affection.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
It's no skin of my nose, really. You came here for advice, I'm giving it. INTJs can be really anal about typography, and this includes the object of your affection.
Ok, fair enough. Thanks for your response. :laughing:
 

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and that, my good friends, is the difference between INFP and INTJ

/golf clap
 
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To be honest, I give it less than a snowball's chance in hell, even with the correct font... Although I will be happy if I'm wrong about this one.
 

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Sorry you don't happen to like the font I use. I'm also sorry (for you) that I'm not going to alter in any way the font I use for you, or anyone else. Perhaps now you have something else to post in the "things that piss INTJs off" thread... (when all is said and done people... it's a font.. get a grip).
I am sorry to say there is a reason why people are whinging about the font. It's not about following rules, being conformist, being anal or rude for the sake of it. It's actually a pain in the ass to read that font, it makes you squint a bit and concentrate harder. Since you are asking for advice, it's a good idea to not put people off before they have finished reading your post.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
To be honest, I give it less than a snowball's chance in hell, even with the correct font... Although I will be happy if I'm wrong about this one.
Did I read correctly in a different thread somewhere that you're a doctor? If that's correct and I did read that.. don't get me wrong.. being a doctor is an admirable profession for certain.. but.. it's also taking all the INFP strength I have to not ask if you happen to specialize in Proctology?.. I'm just saying.. seems like it would be right up your alley.. and since I'm not going to ask if you're a Proctologist.. it would also likely be fairly un- INFPish to post these in your honor.. :shocked:

tbrn88l.jpg picture by Orbrial - Photobucket

rmcn325l.png picture by Orbrial - Photobucket

rman2056l.jpg picture by Orbrial - Photobucket

gtu0020l.jpg picture by Orbrial - Photobucket

dre0860l.jpg picture by Orbrial - Photobucket
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I am sorry to say there is a reason why people are whinging about the font. It's not about following rules, being conformist, being anal or rude for the sake of it. It's actually a pain in the ass to read that font, it makes you squint a bit and concentrate harder. Since you are asking for advice, it's a good idea to not put people off before they have finished reading your post.
Ok.. Perhaps that font looks very different on my monitor.. and I know you wouldn't say anything to me as a fellow INFP unless it was true. I didn't realize it was problematic at all until today.. but then I have a 42 inch monitor.. so I'm not squinting at anything..
What might you suggest that still shows some individuality.. but won't be too difficult to read?

See Filo.. now I AM asking for font advice... (just so you're clear..) This is where you chime in... :wink:
 

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Well there really aren't many to choose from on the Web. How about these:

Georgia
Lucida Sans Unicode
Franklin Gothic Medium <--This one doesn't seem so safe because I find that it's less common
Tahoma
 

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Ok.. Perhaps that font looks very different on my monitor.. and I know you wouldn't say anything to me as a fellow INFP unless it was true. I didn't realize it was problematic at all until today.. but then I have a 42 inch monitor.. so I'm not squinting at anything..
What might you suggest that still shows some individuality.. but won't be too difficult to read?

See Filo.. now I AM asking for font advice... (just so you're clear..) This is where you chime in... :wink:
My advice would be to get creative with an avatar pic, and a nice signature, and leave the font alone. The font really has an impact on the reader and some people might not mind and some will do, but I would try to assert my individuality in a way that doesn't put people off before they even begin to read me. It's really like separating sentences with paragraphs and things like that. As a fellow INFP interested in all things INTJ, I am giving you my honest opinion!


And, going back to original subject..in my experience INTJs are not very direct when they like someone, in fact they are really shy and give away mixed signals! You need quite a bit of intuition to see what's going on sometimes. INFPs are not ones to initiate anything either so my advice is..sit back and relax haha this is is going to take a while!
 

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And, going back to original subject..in my experience INTJs are not very direct when they like someone, in fact they are really shy and give away mixed signals! You need quite a bit of intuition to see what's going on sometimes. INFPs are not ones to initiate anything either so my advice is..sit back and relax haha this is is going to take a while!
So true :laughing:
 

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in my experience INTJs are not very direct when they like someone, in fact they are really shy and give away mixed signals! You need quite a bit of intuition to see what's going on sometimes. INFPs are not ones to initiate anything either so my advice is..sit back and relax haha this is is going to take a while!
You are dead right there Flora

He does seem to like her if he is fumbling around and being helpful (we can be quite senseless and not even notice if someone is crushing on us, or even see it as too hard and give up hope). If he agreed to take the test then it may indicate interest...maybe...if you start using lame excuses to proximity seek he might get that you like him?

If he is proximity seeking. If he makes excuses to be around you then that is another indicator. *shrug*

PS. I know I sounded harsh by saying that about the OP...I really was trying just to understand it and took a fair amount of time unscrambling what it meant..I wasn't trying to hurt any feelings. I appreciated the cookie too :laughing:
 

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You are dead right there Flora

He does seem to like her if he is fumbling around and being helpful (we can be quite senseless and not even notice if someone is crushing on us, or even see it as too hard nd give up hope). If he agreed to take the test then it may indicate interest...maybe...if you start using lame excuses to proximity seek he might get that you like him?

If he is proximity seeking. If he makes excuses to be around you then that is another indicator. *shrug*
Yeah, the fact that he's sticking around is a good sign.

Personally, I think being yourself would do the trick, since we INTJs don't like the idea of being lured or deceived. Be sincere. Though don't be too quick pour out so many emotions on him because that would scare any INTJ. At least, not until you're already very close to him :wink:

Go for it!
 
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