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As the title says. Do you think it is possible for someone like me? What kind of romantic gestures and conversation topics help win you over?

To clarify, she has told me a while back that she found me very handsome, but I'm not sure how to proceed now. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
 

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As the title says. Do you think it is possible for someone like me? What kind of romantic gestures and conversation topics help win you over?

To clarify, she has told me a while back that she found me very handsome, but I'm not sure how to proceed now. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

It's very possible as I am married to an INTJ. We've been together for over 6 years now. It's hard work, but it's really fun. We are complete polar opposites and it makes for interesting conversations lol.

When I first met him, I found that his wit and intelligence to be very attractive. He made me think and see things differently. Always keeping me on my toes and challenging me.
 

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Aren't relationships hard enough work as it is? And marriage even more difficult?

Being in a relationship with a complete polar opposite seems tremendously difficult.

Opposite interests, opposite energy levels, opposite communication modes, opposite lifestyle ... what's to stop a natural drift apart over time?

It's very possible as I am married to an INTJ. We've been together for over 6 years now. It's hard work, but it's really fun. We are complete polar opposites and it makes for interesting conversations lol.

When I first met him, I found that his wit and intelligence to be very attractive. He made me think and see things differently. Always keeping me on my toes and challenging me.
I wish you luck. I hope it works.
 

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Why don't you work on being friends with the esfp? Wait on the romantic intentions until the two of you have a chance to see how friendship works. After a while, you'll know how well you get along and if there is a chance that a romantic relationship will work. If it doesn't work out, you'll know and it will be less painful than a romantic relationship breaking up.
 

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for me personally, i am wooed by intellectual people. since intj's value intelligence try stating some interesting facts that most people don't know. its always interesting to learn new things
 

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Aren't relationships hard enough work as it is? And marriage even more difficult?

Being in a relationship with a complete polar opposite seems tremendously difficult.

Opposite interests, opposite energy levels, opposite communication modes, opposite lifestyle ... what's to stop a natural drift apart over time?



I wish you luck. I hope it works.
Thank you!

A bit late with the reply, but I do agree with you that it is difficult. But what relationship is easy with all the changes in dynamics? I find that due to our differences it helps me as a person to grow and stimulate myself in other facets of life that I normally would not have anything to do with.

With our different interests, lifestyles, and even our logic on things, I believe it helps us more as individuals to be open to learning and personally, intrigued by the differences. It makes me wonder why, how, and it attracts me exponentially to learn as much as I can about him. He grounds me as a person & I do believe that in a way I also ground him. I react emotionally and him practically. We, together, bring about balance and a complete outlook on things instead of a tunnel vision of what and how it should be. And I believe this is how we've lasted as long as we have. It took a while, but I think with the mutual understanding and the acceptance of how this is what and who we are. We are able to build, learn, and even use it to our advantage as individuals and as a couple.
 

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I'm an ENTJ (pretty similar to INTJ) and I don't think it would work. While opposites attract, they don't stay together. My last best friend (of 15 years) and last girlfriend (of 3 months) were ESFP's. While I found how they operate to be very interesting, they failed to stimulate me intellectually in the long term. I loved spending time with them in small doses but they aren't people I would want to spend a six hour car ride with.
 

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As the title says. Do you think it is possible for someone like me? What kind of romantic gestures and conversation topics help win you over?

To clarify, she has told me a while back that she found me very handsome, but I'm not sure how to proceed now. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
I'm wondering the same thing... are you sure you're an INTJ and are you sure you want to? lol i've heard INTJs feel terrible things for ESFPs.
 

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It could work, we're all people and all work in the same basic way, but they're very different.
I hated an INTJ I knew (then again he was really warped, he emotionally bullied people) and he hated me. I've also found the extrovert thing to be an issue. While I'm quite good at doing my own thing, I'll get sad if the other person doesn't contact me. It'd be alot of effort for you and for her I think (she'd have to tone down alot).
 

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works, I've been 6 years in a relationship with a ESFP and it's great, she's happier than me, she lifts me up when I'm down and supports me, she admires me a lot as I admire her for exactly the opposite things. At the beggining was very difficult but once we learned to accept each other it went smooth... We obviously still argue sometimes but less and less as she acknowledge that she can't win an argument with me with reasons and I can't win against her when she puts the "feelings" factor on the table, so we learned to get along and benefits oursevles from the highlights of eachother. It works, I promise :)
 

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After ending a bad relationship, I've learned so much about the sort of person that would make a perfect match.

That person would be an ESFP!

Not emotionally demanding, they have a good mood by themselves, and since they have the same cognitive functions as INTJ in reverse order, they make a perfect complement.
 

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Of course you can, just be yourself as cliche as it sounds. If you're open to new experiences and need a mood lift every so often we can be excellent mates. And ignore any associated stereotypes for either types. I know someone who is a confirmed INTJ and we get along fabulously so I don't see what the big deal is.
 
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Be considerate of other people, just be a nice person! Be up to doing things with her, as crazy as they might be, or at least seem enthusiastic about them. Makes sure she knows you actually listen to what she has to say and takes her seriously when she wants to be taken seriously. But I agree with KuRoMi, don't try to be something you're not. Most ESFPs I know are adaptable and dig anyone who they can enjoy themselves with or be themselves around, and how can they show their true self if the other person doesn't?
 
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Well, I had an INTJ boyfriend and my ESFP friend couldn't stand him :) He was too much of a philosopher for her....
 

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Thank you!

A bit late with the reply, but I do agree with you that it is difficult. But what relationship is easy with all the changes in dynamics? I find that due to our differences it helps me as a person to grow and stimulate myself in other facets of life that I normally would not have anything to do with.

With our different interests, lifestyles, and even our logic on things, I believe it helps us more as individuals to be open to learning and personally, intrigued by the differences. It makes me wonder why, how, and it attracts me exponentially to learn as much as I can about him. He grounds me as a person & I do believe that in a way I also ground him. I react emotionally and him practically. We, together, bring about balance and a complete outlook on things instead of a tunnel vision of what and how it should be. And I believe this is how we've lasted as long as we have. It took a while, but I think with the mutual understanding and the acceptance of how this is what and who we are. We are able to build, learn, and even use it to our advantage as individuals and as a couple.
i think relationship with an ESFJ and an INTJ is alot of work because we tend to bump heads. But I think we get along great because we balance each other out.
 
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