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Ok, you know the type I am talking about. These people that have a knack at ALWAYS drawing attention to themselves in any situation. They seem to need attention for their very survival. Then someone else gets a little attention and the attention seeker tries to draw attention back to themselves. They often do it with negativity or may just start showing off to draw attention back to themselves. You know they type I am talking about.

So.....

1. What is wrong with them that makes them have to have all the attention?
2. How do you deal with these type of people when they cross into your life?
3. When you have had all you can take from them, how do you keep from attacking them?
4. Is there some kind of mental disorder that would cause a person to be so needy? Or
5. Are these people just plan selfish?
 

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Subterranean Homesick Alien
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I have met some attention-seeking people, though not as obnoxiously attention seeking as it seems the people you've met have been. And everyone of those people have been kids or teenagers. I'm not sure I could imagine an adult with that behavior.
The only thing I can think is that their attention-seeking is for approval or 'validation' since the people I've met have only seemed to want positive attention.
 

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MOTM July 2010
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Ok, you know the type I am talking about. These people that have a knack at ALWAYS drawing attention to themselves in any situation. They seem to need attention for their very survival. Then someone else gets a little attention and the attention seeker tries to draw attention back to themselves. They often do it with negativity or may just start showing off to draw attention back to themselves. You know they type I am talking about.
You mean people like you?

The pot calling the kettle black, eh?
 

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I think sometimes attention-seeking people are just insecure and/or immature, or possibly had invalidating parents, and sometimes that behavior is the result of a personality disorder.
I've been wondering lately if certain personality disorders are more prevalent in certain types... just a vague curiosity, I haven't really given it much thought.
 

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1. What is wrong with them that makes them have to have all the attention?
2. How do you deal with these type of people when they cross into your life?
3. When you have had all you can take from them, how do you keep from attacking them?
4. Is there some kind of mental disorder that would cause a person to be so needy? Or
5. Are these people just plan selfish?

1. Does there have to be something wrong with that?
2. If this behavior really annoys you stop giving that person attention and then they will render you worthless during one of their attention getting schemes.
3. Why hold back angry fists of justice?
4. Google narcisism.
5. They can be. Some get their attention from being giving.
 

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2. If this behavior really annoys you stop giving that person attention and then they will render you worthless during one of their attention getting schemes.

This is a good tactic. Any reaction a narcissitic person gets is fine with them - negative attention is still attention. They love making you react.

4. Google narcisism.

Good advice, in my opinion - not every selfish person is a narcissist, but it's good to have an idea what to look for.

5. They can be. Some get their attention from being giving.

Amen to that - I've seen it in action many times: How dare you think I'm selfish, look how giving I am.:dry:
 

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I know a few of these types in real life. They always make me want to reach for the emergency exit.

1. What is wrong with them that makes them have to have all the attention?

That could be anything. One of them is most likely borderline with a touch of histrionics thrown in, another one seems more narcissistic as well as completely oblivious to other people's feelings.

2. How do you deal with these type of people when they cross into your life?

I try to keep them at a distance. I strictly limit exposure time.

3. When you have had all you can take from them, how do you keep from attacking them?

I usually become unreachable to them. Only a few years back I would have found that an unacceptable option because 'they needed me' and I simply never said no to anyone. But time has shown me that such people will always be needy and when you facilitate them too much it will only get worse. Besides, I am simply running out of spare emotional capacity to keep shouldering other peoples' burdens.

4. Is there some kind of mental disorder that would cause a person to be so needy? Or
5. Are these people just plan selfish?

In my case, see the examples above. I suppose plain selfishness could also account for behaviour like this. Sociopathic tendencies might, when someone loses sight of the border between what is and is not acceptable.
 

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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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I know someone like that. He's an ESFP, so I think it is just in his nature to like to perform for people constantly. It is always assumed that whenever he is at a party, all eyes will be on him for most of the night, and if anyone else wants to talk about something other than him, we can just go to another room. Usually the introverts huddle off every now and then for mini-breaks anyhow. It really doesn't bother me when he turns everything back to himself. I think he has a legitimate need for attention, so why not give it to him? It makes him feel good about himself, it doesn't seem to be harmful. Maybe if he got all of the attention he desired, he would eventually feel like he had enough to be content. Then again, maybe he wouldn't be happy until he was famous. I don't really see why it would upset someone, unless there were some reason that the other person also needed attention in order to be okay, or desperately needed to be focusing on something else. In situations where someone else has such a need, most of my acquaintances are perceptive enough to shift their focus when applicable, even if the attention-seeker is still trying to draw it back.

Also, WickedQueen, you have been reported for your personal attack.
 

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I agree that giving someone the attention they "need" is okay, up to a point. My husband gets along better than everyone else in our family with our relative that I believe has narcissistic personality disorder, because he talks to her about herself and acts interested in what she has to say. (Something I just can't fake anymore....) He told me he does this because it's an easy thing to do (for a limited time) and makes her feel good. And if it's just people sitting around talking, catching up, that's fine.
But when said relative asks wildly inappropriate questions in an unnecessarily loud voice in an attempt to humiliate someone in front of a large group of people, and tries to discuss a politically charged topic when everyone else is focused on the guest of honor at a party opening gifts - - who has time for that garbage?
 

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I have met so many people like this!!
Its like when ever they have a problem im always there, willing to help and listen, but as soon as you have your own problem and need their advice, they manage to bring the conversation back round to them selves and make it all about thier problems again. Its frustrating, but i think peoples reasons for this can be very different.

As you say sometimes its just becuase they are selfish people, sometimes it may be due to a lack of attention at home, from family members .etc.
But they may have ADD (attention deficit disorder), this is where they will do almost ANYTHING to get attention.
I've met someone like this as well and she didnt just birng every conversation back round to her, but she would self harm and show everyone! Blaming it on the most random people and making sure that everyone new about it. She would come into college telling people that she had just OD, on the way back from a college trip in germany, she pretended to have a panic attack on the plane, (i know that it was a pretend, because she had had an argument with the teacher ealier and told me that she was going to humilate her and make her feel bad for having ago at her, and she later told me that she had faked it).

However im not sure if you can help people like this? I tried to help her, i'd talk to her when ever she needed me, but it seems that me giving her the attention to try and help her just made it worse. but as soon as i stopped trying to help her (it all got a bit much, i decided that everything she was doing was too much pressure and she needed professional help, my attempt wasnt going to be good enough). anyway, when i stopped trying to help, she ended up getting kicked out and went to a new college where she got known as the college slut as she slept with almost everyone and made sure that everyone knew her name!
 

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I am guilty of this myself, sometimes, which makes me more likely to notice when others are attention-seekers.

Honestly, I think those who don't do it are far less likely to take notice or be bothered by it, while those who do it will notice when others do and be annoyed because it takes the opportunity away from themselves. Just my opinion.
 
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hmm I'm like that to a degree and only in certain circumstances. I always feel guilty afterwards because I wonder if I was annoying people. I've often sought the opinion of people at the gathering - basically asking them whether I was being obnoxious in how much I talked about myself.
 

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Attention seeker reporting in for duty, sir and or sirette.

I don't know what drives it, but it seems that some people have it, and some people don't. I think it stems from not having internal peace. When conflicted we look to others to tell us what we need to do to be; accepted, happy, funny, etc. Which of course works but does not fix the initial problem. So we get louder and more obnoxious until someone recognizes the inner pain.
 

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There is a book out called "The Narcissism Epidemic". It's a really good read.

Most attention-seekers have low self-esteem. They need affirmation from others because they don't get it from themselves.

It's not always unhealthy, though and doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with that person. It's only unhealthy when it starts interfering with personal relationships and/or occupation.

Some people take attention seeking to such a degree that even when they are in the spotlight that is not enough. They feel they must be the only one in the spotlight. These are probably the unhealthiest of all the attention seekers and are extremely toxic to the people around them. Ever hear of Terrell Owens? The sad part is, their narcissism is fueled even more buy their fans.
 

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Sounds like a cluster b personality disorder. It could be one from the other clusters though. If this person is not just an extrovert who thrives on interaction and does have a personality disorder, then the only thing you can do is RUN! the other direction as far as you can go and never look back. They will never admit to doing anything wrong and think that everyone around them is the problem and will continuously stir things up just for the opportunity to insult others. Trust me, if this is the case take my advice and run.
 
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