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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi everybody!

I was in touch with a family seeking an au pair for quite a while and we´ve even met personally. They seemed to be really cool (as much as I can tell from one personal meeting) and I was more or less decided to go for it but as I had two months to wait I wasn´t thinking of it that much (to prevent overthinking). I already have friends in the country of the family as I lived there before for a year. At the same time I was considering discovering a completely new country (for example Switzerland).

I "woke up" when I´ve received a message from them saying they´ll need me 10 days earlier to what we´ve discussed before meaning I had only app. 10 days to decide before joining them. Apparently they were already counting on me even though they did not ask me "officially" yet if I accept their offer and the contract wasn´t made either. At that point I´ve realised I don´t want to commit as an au pair for a year, as it would mean postponing my studies again and not earning enough to make savings either. So, I´ve appologized and explained to them I´m not coming. Of course they were disappointed and angry. Well, feels really bad...I feel like a horrible, unreliable person but on the other hand I think it is better than realising this shortly after accepting. Moreover, I didn´t like the fact they didn´t ask me if I´ll be available to come earlier only sent me an email saying they´ll need me earlier not giving me the space to choose. I have thoughts to write them back appologizing and saying I want to come but I don´t think it is a good idea. It would be quite akward and confusing.

On my au pair profile I´ve started receiving a lot of applications from families from France, Switzerland, Sweden etc. I feel I´d rather be excited to be an au pair for shorter term (3-6 months) in a country I´ve never been before and start my studies in September.

Plus one additional detail that makes my decision more complicated. There is a guy in the unnamed country where I lived that I really like and can´t forget which makes my discernment even more blurry...Anyway I don´t think it is reasonable to make decisions based on that and I should perhaps move on and explore the world.

What do you think?

I hope you´ll get my message and I´ll appreciate very much any points/advice you´ll share!

Thanks a lot in advance!
 

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Meh.
ENTJ
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8,081 Posts
- Going back to that family, apologising and accepting their offer anyway would probably not make for a good working relationship. You weren't happy with their behaviour and changed your mind before any contract was negotiated. Any annoyance on their end really isn't your problem. You don't owe them anything.

- You have other alternatives which suit your long term plans better

- I'm not sure if you mean that the boy lives in the same area as that couple you met but if so; you seem to have no problem getting other offers so why not see if you can get a placement in that country but not with the family you had met?
 
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