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INFJ’s usually dislike confrontation and will avoid rivalry, yes. But I also believe we are gifted in such situations if we know how to use our intuition well. If the person can center herself and concentrate on the breath and the thoughts coming into her being, she will know exactly what to do to avoid anything messy or violent, and can get away clean. I like to keep the thought in my head as well: “Just let the bull go on by” and let the other person get out what they have to get out with minimal reaction on my part.

 

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INFJ’s usually dislike confrontation and will avoid rivalry, yes. But I also believe we are gifted in such situations if we know how to use our intuition well. If the person can center herself and concentrate on the breath and the thoughts coming into her being, she will know exactly what to do to avoid anything messy or violent, and can get away clean. I like to keep the thought in my head as well: “Just let the bull go on by” and let the other person get out what they have to get out with minimal reaction on my part.

I prefer to just get really upset and irrational.
 

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If I had an imaginary rival (a person I compete with in my head), would I avoid her? I might study her to see what I can learn to get myself better.

If someone sees me a rival, she can torment herself for all I care. It's a minor inconvenience in my otherwise perfect life, that's all.


The older I am the more I realize that each of us is unique. There's no clone. Ppl can be judged by education, career, wealth, connection, birth, physical appearance, health, experiences. However, the winner in your circle may be the loser in another social circle. There's no end to such competition. If so, why bother?


Be the best you can be no matter how old (young).
 

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INFJ’s usually dislike confrontation and will avoid rivalry, yes. But I also believe we are gifted in such situations if we know how to use our intuition well.If the person can center herself and concentrate on the breath and the thoughts coming into her being, she will know exactly what to do to avoid anything messy or violent, and can get away clean.I like to keep the thought in my head as well: “Just let the bull go on by” and let the other person get out what they have to get out with minimal reaction on my part.
In general, I agree with this. In some specific work contexts, it's rather helpful to let the other person have a meltdown. It's a way of establishing for the group who is sane and competent and who isn't.

I'm not the type to go after someone. But if they want to hang themselves, metaphorically speaking, I'm fine with that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
INFJ’s usually dislike confrontation and will avoid rivalry
Oh yeah!! You said beautifully.

I remember when I was playing volleyball in the mid of the play other guys said :
Hey, see that guy, why he is becoming so anxious ??! but I got motivated and ( I don't know why) felt stressed ( and nervous ).
 

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One word.
 
Poison.
 

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If I've got a genuine rival, then we must confront one another. The world isn't big enough for two of us! Though knowing me, I would just end up befriending them. :laughing:
 

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Some of the things people fight and argue about are shallow. Or let's say, mostly not worth it. In the big scale, I would say this about many wars. Whether it is was the war for resources, or an explosive war due to power 'tension'. In the small scale, where people would argue about what seemingly little things, I usually just stay quiet or don't even bother. People have rights to their own opinions. I don't want mine challenged in a heated manner..

Though I have set nuclear mines for areas I find worth the blow. :ninja:

:tongue:
 

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I'm not a huge fan of competition, but oddly rivalry can be fun to me as long as it's friendly. Typically, I use objective measure or myself as a measuring stick. I'm motivated to do well, but not typically by competition. However if someone shows up who seems to be pretty well matched to me in a certain area, I'm likely to push myself a little to see if I can surpass them. It probably wouldn't be obvious to them at all. Maybe a little less seriously, I might jokingly encourage a sense of competition with friends or talk smack if I know I'm really bad at something. That's more about creating a sense of fun, though, and I couldn't care less if I lose.

Overall, I have a respect for people who work hard and those with talent and ability, and I'm not a fan of being "against" others. Sometimes people inspire me to do better, but it's really more about pushing myself than beating them. I'm not truly competitive, but a bit of friendly rivalry can be fun.
 

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I'm a little different in regards to this subject.

I relish competition. I had an academic rival in high school and I would stop at nothing to beat him in math and science. It ended up being a friendly rivalry after we were forced to work together as Romeo & Juliet, but it gave me the passion and drive to be my best. I've also had rivals in softball/volleyball and band, but they all forced me to assert my leadership skills and boost my confidence.

When it comes to sex and relationships, again, I am highly competitive. If I know there are others vying for the same individual I turn it on more. I become primal, exuding lust and "take me now" vibes to draw him into me. And should it come to this, in very rare occasions, I have also sabotaged sexual rivals that I feel could be a major threat.

So in summation, I am competitive and I enjoy having rivalries. It brings the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) out of me.
 

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In my eyes, if you regard someone as a rival then you've already lost. In a way you create a form of dependency or fixation on them that it effectively makes you narrow minded and lose sight of you. While some may argue a rivalry can embolden you, the reality is if you need an external force to do that then you're not really drawing from your own strength to beat them -- this sets bad precedence as you "need" them. I've always felt the most insulting thing you can do to someone is to show that they hold no significance to you whatsoever.

If someone regarded me as a rival, even if they hated me, I'd actually find it flattering. Chances are though, they're not even remotely on my radar as a threat or competition.

Truthfully, I used to be big on rivalries and competition (sports). However, if you ever reach a point where you beat them in terms of performance, it's actually kind of deflating in a way. Now, they're basically gone from your life and the chances are you'll look somewhere, perhaps anywhere, for a new rival of sorts. The problem is, you kind of become bat shit crazy about it and get paranoid or turn little things into big things just to "create" a rival. Jealous people are highly prone to this.
 

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@Lad, I have to disagree. Personally, being competitive and having rivals has helped bring out my extroversion, but they are not necessary for my life. I am quite happy to not have any rivals, and I certainly don't seek them out. But when I happen to encounter them I find it quite fun to compete and I do not shy away.

I do agree that there are those who have unhealthy rivalries potentially stemming from extreme jealousy and the creation of their own dramas, but I would argue that having a rival does not always make one dependent on others.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Some of the things people fight and argue about are shallow. Or let's say, mostly not worth it. In the big scale, I would say this about many wars. Whether it is was the war for resources, or an explosive war due to power 'tension'. In the small scale, where people would argue about what seemingly little things, I usually just stay quiet or don't even bother. People have rights to their own opinions. I don't want mine challenged in a heated manner..

Though I have set nuclear mines for areas I find worth the blow. :ninja:

:tongue:
Yes, and I also don't mind shallow matters to compete or struggle, and I say that is not worth challenging, I can put my energy on another better subject.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I'm a little different in regards to this subject.

I relish competition. I had an academic rival in high school and I would stop at nothing to beat him in math and science. It ended up being a friendly rivalry after we were forced to work together as Romeo & Juliet, but it gave me the passion and drive to be my best. I've also had rivals in softball/volleyball and band, but they all forced me to assert my leadership skills and boost my confidence.

When it comes to sex and relationships, again, I am highly competitive. If I know there are others vying for the same individual I turn it on more. I become primal, exuding lust and "take me now" vibes to draw him into me. And should it come to this, in very rare occasions, I have also sabotaged sexual rivals that I feel could be a major threat.

So in summation, I am competitive and I enjoy having rivalries. It brings the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) out of me.
We are Feelers, we mind how others feel , but sometimes it is necessary to hurt feeling in rivalries, so the question is : How do you act if it is a need to hurt sb's feelings in order to grasp your right or what you want
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I'm a little different in regards to this subject.

I relish competition. I had an academic rival in high school and I would stop at nothing to beat him in math and science. It ended up being a friendly rivalry after we were forced to work together as Romeo & Juliet, but it gave me the passion and drive to be my best. I've also had rivals in softball/volleyball and band, but they all forced me to assert my leadership skills and boost my confidence.

When it comes to sex and relationships, again, I am highly competitive. If I know there are others vying for the same individual I turn it on more. I become primal, exuding lust and "take me now" vibes to draw him into me. And should it come to this, in very rare occasions, I have also sabotaged sexual rivals that I feel could be a major threat.

So in summation, I am competitive and I enjoy having rivalries. It brings the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) out of me.
We are Feelers, we mind how others feel , but sometimes it is necessary to hurt feeling in rivalries, so the question is : How do you act if it is a need to hurt sb's feelings in order to grasp your right or what you want
 

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We are Feelers, we mind how others feel , but sometimes it is necessary to hurt feeling in rivalries, so the question is : How do you act if it is a need to hurt sb's feelings in order to grasp your right or what you want
It depends on what it is/what exactly I'm going after and who it is I'm sparing against. Hurting feelings does not bother me. If it is a person I'm somewhat close to I can feel guilt after the fact, but just like every decision a cost-benefit analysis is performed as to whether or not it has to get to that point. Largely, it never does. There are ways around directly "hurting" another individual.
 

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the question is : How do you act if it is a need to hurt sb's feelings in order to grasp your right or what you want
Act first, then mend feelings; know the line that you won't cross before you start.
 

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Oh I have nothing against rivalry. Having a friendly competition is awesome. What I don't like is hostility that rivalry usually makes :L That's why I usually don't like competitions which I know will make lot of people pissed off. And I avoid them.
 
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