[Credulous]

How often should I contact someone that I am interested in getting to know better (and who shares similar feelings) after a pseudo-on-night-stand?

Once a day seems like too much... I've gotten in trouble for being too clingy before... that will never happen again...
But once a week seems to little, she'll fade away if I don't increase our communication...:sad:

How does I develop relationship?

 

[strawberryLola]

Too much over-analyzing, over-thinking leads to self-doubt and another sad story of self-fulfilling prophecies.

There isn't a recipe or secret magic ingredient about dating. Purposely creating emotional distance can really push people away. Go with the flow..

I think if you're doing whatever it is to build trust, then that's already half the battle in communication between the sexes. yup!

 

[Ace Face]

Buddy, get game let her come to you. Don't text her first. She will wonder why you aren't falling over her like crazy, and that's exactly how you want her to feel at this point. If you do this, she'll think you're not as wrapped around her finger as she initially thought. She needs to feel as if you're not an easy catch... Just my two cents

 

[Chipps]

I'd say find someone else to keep your attention for the rest of the week and stop putting all your eggs in the FWB basket. I agree with the above poster, just stop texting/making it a big deal and she will come to you. Right now she has the upper hand but act like you can get vagina and affection anywhere and stop acting so desperate.

Oh, and when she does text you, take your time responding back. Or just cancel your plans and go do something else all together. Women start to act really different when they realize they aren't that special.

 

[silverlark]

Little random, hey I was thinking of you because ... or hey wanna go... Messages or communications would be a good way to let her know you'd like to see more of her. All that ignore her and she will want you is crap in my opinion.

 

[hackm]

Talk to her when it comes naturally. Invite her to an outing when she's the right choice. Should Judy be invited to a sausage fest? Maybe not. Should your friend Jack be invited instead? Probably.

Don't lay out the red carpet for a woman by doing exactly what they want or talking about exactly what they want, either.

The best way is to put the ball in her court. To do that:

- Tell her you're very interested.
- Tell her that your aim is to get to know her.
- Tell her that you want to test the compatibility.

And your forwardness will probably get you laid again within an hour or so.

 

[kudi]

Little random, hey I was thinking of you because ... or hey wanna go... Messages or communications would be a good way to let her know you'd like to see more of her. All that ignore her and she will want you is crap in my opinion.

Yeah, I think its total BS too. If someone doesn't see me as special then I just think f* em. Going around with subtle signs of interest apparently hasn't worked for you before, so I'd say just be direct and confident. Tell her you want that fine ass all to yourself (ok maybe not in those exact words). But don't be wishy-washy about it. No hesitance should be there and she'll either want you or not. Nothing you do including calling periodically or whatever can change her, you have no control over her wants/desires.

Edit: @hackm is more eloquent with the words :tongue:

 

[sleepyhead]

I also have to disagree with the advice of ignoring or not communicating in an effort to get her to come to you. If someone tried that with me I would likely get pissed off with the "game playing" and move on. I like people who are honest and up front but who knows what the person the OP is interested would like.

I think @hackm's advice is pretty good.

 

[silverlark]

actually, hackm seems to have good insight and advice. i'd listen to him if i were you.

 

[Siren]

Some people on this forum are all about game playing. It may produce short term results but isn't healthy long term.

I would advise just being yourself and doing what comes and feels natural. Being yourself is the best guarantee to finding someone you can spend time with for the long haul.

 

[sleepyhead]

Some people on this forum are all about game playing. It may produce short term results but isn't healthy long term.

I would advise just being yourself and doing what comes and feels natural. Being yourself is the best guarantee to finding someone you can spend time with for the long haul.

I was also going to add that the worst that can happen is she'll say she's not interested in progressing the relationship to a deeper level - then at least the OP will know. If she can't handle you being honest about what you want right from the start, then perhaps she's just not worth pursing further.

 

[Yardiff Bey]

I'd say find someone else to keep your attention for the rest of the week and stop putting all your eggs in the FWB basket. I agree with the above poster, just stop texting/making it a big deal and she will come to you. Right now she has the upper hand but act like you can get vagina and affection anywhere and stop acting so desperate.

Oh, and when she does text you, take your time responding back. Or just cancel your plans and go do something else all together. Women start to act really different when they realize they aren't that special.

What do you mean "act"? You CAN get vagina and affection anywhere. All vaginas are interchangeable, every piece of ass is the same.

Take that attitude into your core. That way if someone *more* comes along - you aren't just chasing her because of her vagina. You're chasing her because she's worthwhile as a human being and you actually want to be with her for that humanity and warmth.

 

[Chipps]

What do you mean "act"? You CAN get vagina and affection anywhere. All vaginas are interchangeable, every piece of ass is the same.

Take that attitude into your core. That way if someone *more* comes along - you aren't just chasing her because of her vagina. You're chasing her because she's worthwhile as a human being and you actually want to be with her for that humanity and warmth.

Well, thats what I meant. I don't know the mans life. Sure he could get vagina somewhere else, but that doesn't mean he will. In the event that he doesn't find it somewhere else, he should always maintain the attitude that it is just vagina and he can get more. If hes not confident that he will then he should still act like he can. It aint nothin' special. Only 100% of biological females have them. So I agree with you on that point. Some girls however don't realize that and think it really is the end all be all of the male mind. They've been lied to.

 

[viva]

I personally detest games-- including withholding communication to "send a message". If a guy I hooked up with proceeded to not contact me for a week, I wouldn't read that as flattery or be pleased/relieved by it. I would probably be upset and move right along.

If you want to talk to her, then talk to her. If she's anything like me (and, I daresay, most women) she'll appreciate it.

 

[Mausi]

I'm kind of like you, OP, where I question how I come across... I don't want to be clingy or make anyone uncomfortable or make them feel smothered...

But, every time I've sort of gone against my natural instincts, well, that didn't work. And then I felt awkward. And then I tried to hold back all the time.

So I say, screw it. Just be yourself, be direct, say what you want. If she doesn't want what you're offering, move on and find someone who does. But you know what? Maybe she does. But that's better than stupid games.