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Discussion Starter #1
Ok I have been in a few relationships in my past and they all seem to have clash very badly with my personality... either they have been too controlling, possessive and smothering or the complete opposite... I have not had what I've seen to be a normal relationship yet.

So my question for you guys is what types work the best for you?
 

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The SFJs I was with were very considerate and kind, and they both had steady jobs. The problems I had were they liked to plan things out well in advance, so it clashed with my style. I missed the freedom to act on a whim.

Also, the ESFJ was so influenced by what his mother wanted, it was ridiculous. He'd do just about anything to please his superiors, and was quite worried about what other people thought about him. It just didn't work for me.

There was an ESTP that I dated, and we're still friends. He is a ton of fun and we have many of the same hobbies. He lives hundreds of miles away, and I wasn't interested in moving or doing the long-distance thing, so I broke it off. But he lives life to the fullest, and he can soften his T when he's around me. He is a strong E, and I do wonder if it would get exhausting after a while?

The ENFP I'm with now has given me a relationship with minimal conflict. He's sensitive, non-judgemental, easy-going. He never raises his voice. He's very generous with everyone and he readily expresses his emotions. He won't stand up for me like the ESTP, but I can take care of myself. The problem for me is, I crave excitement and adventure, and he just thinks I'm crazy:laughing:. I certainly don't want him to change who he is, so I'm still trying to decide if I'll be happy in the long run.

I'm curious to hear about other ISFPs' experiences.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
The ESTP sounds like a great catch...lol I enjoy excitement and need it, my life is so... blah... and my really close friend is a ENFP I wonder if I were to date someone like her could I be happy! I mean we fight like all friends do but out of all my friends which is a few....lol we get along the best!! But I have to admit sometimes I think I can be a prude or boring to her... she's way more extroverted then me... and we sometimes clash alot on opinions?? I dunno...

Hmm... interesting I want to hear more! :happy:
 

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I really like a ISTP at the moment I've been dating one for a while... and he is so patient with me... and my best friend is a ENFP if I were to meet a guy similar to her I would probably like him!! :unsure:
 

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I'm curious to hear how the ISFP and ISTP relationship works.

I have ISTPs as friends, and I feel like we relate well. We seem to have similar interests and goals. It's nice to have a T around to balance me out. I've never pursued anything romantic with them, though.
 

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INFP. i have no idea why that is, i just get along with them for some reason. three of my closest friends are INFPs, and they never ridicule or criticize me for things. SP types are fun too, especially ISTPs(extreme thrill rides or street racing anyone?). i like SJs too..one of my best friends is an ISTJ..she often criticizes me for being too "out there" and "not normal" but she's still really nicel, and NT rationals because i understand how they think and it's less confusing having to explain yourself. i like all personality types.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
I'm curious to hear how the ISFP and ISTP relationship works.

I have ISTPs as friends, and I feel like we relate well. We seem to have similar interests and goals. It's nice to have a T around to balance me out. I've never pursued anything romantic with them, though.
Well we been dating off and on for about 2 years now... and I have to say that he really gets me... I mean
he is always there when I need him and i'm starting to see I can count on him being there even more for me!

We rarely fight and when we do, he... actually withdraws from them which help me to control my rage sometimes and keeps me from saying things I'll regret! He is more of a strategist when it comes to our fights...lol and knows how to respond accordingly to resolve the issue.. and I guess it helps that he is so dam charming too!

Also I feel like I can tell him anything without being judge! :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #10
He sounds like a good match for you.:happy:
Thanks, but I sometimes think I would be balance better with a Extroverted type that is non-judging and feeling... I wonder if an ESFP or ESTP would be more suited for me??

The part that I guess is preventing us from really moving forward together is that we are too much alike to merge... he needs his space as do I, but him more then me and that sometimes bother me... I dunno.. I wonder if there is an ISFP on PC who have actually dated a ESFP??

Also could you explain more of your exp. with your ESTP?
 

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I wonder if there is an ISFP on PC who have actually dated a ESFP??

I did!


ESFPs, ohhh ESFPs. I could speak volumes about my ESFP relationship. Someone just like me but more outgoing, was my match made in heaven. Irrationally, not knowing anything else about someone, I would still rather date an ESFP over any other type. They are pure energetic sunshine. They are extremely fun and warm, and can bring you out into the world a little more. They can be your best friend and playmate.

That said, I would be very careful handing your heart to an ESFP, because they seem to have commitment issues. Mine did and it hit me very hard; one day it was just over and he ran away.

I'm still on the lookout for one who has a working 'commitment switch'.
 

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Hmm. I've had 3 relationships. One was when I was 15 and it was online sooo, I had no idea who this person was, but he was pretty abusive, so who cares about him!

Disregarding that, my first real boyfriend, I strongly believe, was an ENFJ. We loved each other a whole lot, the break up was extremely intense and we hated each others guts as strongly as we loved each other when we were together. It really shattered my world, and I'll never forget him. He was really flirtatious and cheated on me, but I was not perfect either, so in the end, I guess, our young ages really did it for us and finally, after a year later of our break ups, we apologized to each other, and we haven't spoken for more than... a half a year now? :unsure: Well, it's sad, honestly, how things ended up for us. Besides being a boyfriend, he was also a good friend of mine, and now we are nothing but strangers to each other. We were together for a year and 4 months.

My second, most recent ex, I believe... was a ISTJ. He was kinda... odd. Was hot and cold with me and he finally dumped me after 2 months together. It's been a little over a month since that happened (and since we last spoken), and I'm doing well. I do still think about him... I guess I have a really hard time letting people go, even when I KNOW they are not right for me. :sad:
 

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Yeah, I have a few ESFP friends, one male and one female. I love them dearly. We have a ton of fun together, and mesh together nicely, but I can see how there would be pit-falls if I were to date an ESFP.

We both love to play, neither of us would really want to pay the bills or make financial decisions and so forth. I've read that when two SPs are in a relationship, the weaker P takes on these responsibilites, because someone has to. It then puts pressure on that SP because it's not their natural way of being. And then the other SP gets annoyed that their SP mate now seems more like an SJ. :confused: I guess you just can't win.

As far as the ESTP goes, I feel like the T is better at dealing with finances and making tough decisions. The ESTP I dated just seems a bit more responsible in that respect, compared to the ESFPs I know. He is very savvy with finances. I can deal with this stuff when I need to, but it's so nice to have someone else who actually enjoys doing it. He does like to play, which usually means that he spends money quickly. But, he does actually live within his means. He works hard so he can play hard.

My dad is also ESTP and we are really good friends. Just from my experience, the ESTP can be blunt or inconsiderate at times, but they mean well. They are fun like the ESFP, but to me they seem to be a bit more responsible.
 

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I usually find, unsurprisingly, that I get along best with INxx types and SPs. :happy:
 
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Discussion Starter #15
Yeah, I have a few ESFP friends, one male and one female. I love them dearly. We have a ton of fun together, and mesh together nicely, but I can see how there would be pit-falls if I were to date an ESFP.

We both love to play, neither of us would really want to pay the bills or make financial decisions and so forth. I've read that when two SPs are in a relationship, the weaker P takes on these responsibilites, because someone has to. It then puts pressure on that SP because it's not their natural way of being. And then the other SP gets annoyed that their SP mate now seems more like an SJ. :confused: I guess you just can't win.

As far as the ESTP goes, I feel like the T is better at dealing with finances and making tough decisions. The ESTP I dated just seems a bit more responsible in that respect, compared to the ESFPs I know. He is very savvy with finances. I can deal with this stuff when I need to, but it's so nice to have someone else who actually enjoys doing it. He does like to play, which usually means that he spends money quickly. But, he does actually live within his means. He works hard so he can play hard.

My dad is also ESTP and we are really good friends. Just from my experience, the ESTP can be blunt or inconsiderate at times, but they mean well. They are fun like the ESFP, but to me they seem to be a bit more responsible.
I would agree that having someone to balance my indifferences sounds great but almost scary at the same time... I guess I wouldn't want someone controlling everything hence making me dependent or inferior to someone but at the same time, I don't want someone thats exactly like me! This is tough I don't seem to click with judging types mainly TJs. How about you guys, how do you feel about TJs??? Which I have also read to be a good match for FPs... :unsure:
 

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My husband is.. wait for it... an INTJ. He is my absolute best friend and we really complement each other.

It's an odd thing how many INTJs there are in my life and how I find it so incredibly natural to relate to them. That might be because the first INTJ in my life was my mom. We also get along really well. Some other friends have ended up being INTJs too.

Anyways, my husband is definitely an INTJ through and through. We've both been revisiting typology over the past few days, and he says to me "You know, I really think I'm too affectionate to be an INTJ."

My response? "Nope."

To which he burst out laughing and said "Well, alright then."

Then we thought about it more, and came to the conclusion that though he is very physically affectionate (kisses, a big hug at the end of the day, holding my hand in the store, a squeeze of the bum, haha), he isn't verbally affectionate as often. I also pointed out that when he does tell me more than a simple "I love you" it's because I play the "why? why? why?" game and drag it out of him. :)

On the other side of the relationship, we balance each other really well. I love the decorating and cooking. He doesn't mind the budget planning. I get him to be a little more spontaneous, and he keeps my feet on the ground. We both need our time alone and we get that about each other. I remind him sometimes that other peoples' feelings are a legitimate thing to consider, and he reminds me sometimes I have to take care of myself first.

For the record, I don't feel controlled at all. The large majority of our core values are the same, so we usually end up at the same decision regardless of the paths we took to get there. He trusts my attention to detail and I trust his bigger picture. (A little stereotyping, but just to make the point that our strengths fill each others' weaknesses.)

I think any two people can work. I think there are probably a few personalities that I could never ever be in a relationship with (some particular E personalities come in mind), but it really depends on the two people in the relationship. You can never know what two people have and why they do (or don't) work together.
 

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ESTJ

He is the love of my life and the most difficult man I know. We are so opposite. Hence the bond I guess. Albeit unspoken.

I generally get on best with feelers, IF or EF. There's a quick mutual understanding of shared values.
 

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I clash with xxFJ's. I'm still not really sure why. Although I have to make an exception with really smart or self aware INFJ's, they're cool. And I tend to clash with ExTP's, I always percieve them as shallow, although I doubt that's always true.

Types I"m Really drawn to:
ENFP - I've said this so many places that it's not worth repeating.
ISFP - Me with a vagina, what more could I ask for?
INFP - I just wanna hug every INFP I see. I don't know how the relationship would go, but it's something I'd like to try.
some ISTP - They seem to understand my anti-consumerist and anti-establishment views and are drawn to a simple life (in my experience). I think I could love that if given the right one. And I like ISTP insane behavior.

EDIT: I can't leave out ISTJ, I don't think I could ever have a romantic relationship with one, but they are hella loyal and make awesome friends. Maybe not male ISTJ's so much, but I've never met a female ISTJ that I didn't like. ISTJ's are like my guilty pleasure. They tend to go against everything I stand for, but just can't say no to one ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #19
My husband is.. wait for it... an INTJ. He is my absolute best friend and we really complement each other.

It's an odd thing how many INTJs there are in my life and how I find it so incredibly natural to relate to them. That might be because the first INTJ in my life was my mom. We also get along really well. Some other friends have ended up being INTJs too.

Anyways, my husband is definitely an INTJ through and through. We've both been revisiting typology over the past few days, and he says to me "You know, I really think I'm too affectionate to be an INTJ."

My response? "Nope."

To which he burst out laughing and said "Well, alright then."

Then we thought about it more, and came to the conclusion that though he is very physically affectionate (kisses, a big hug at the end of the day, holding my hand in the store, a squeeze of the bum, haha), he isn't verbally affectionate as often. I also pointed out that when he does tell me more than a simple "I love you" it's because I play the "why? why? why?" game and drag it out of him. :)

On the other side of the relationship, we balance each other really well. I love the decorating and cooking. He doesn't mind the budget planning. I get him to be a little more spontaneous, and he keeps my feet on the ground. We both need our time alone and we get that about each other. I remind him sometimes that other peoples' feelings are a legitimate thing to consider, and he reminds me sometimes I have to take care of myself first.

For the record, I don't feel controlled at all. The large majority of our core values are the same, so we usually end up at the same decision regardless of the paths we took to get there. He trusts my attention to detail and I trust his bigger picture. (A little stereotyping, but just to make the point that our strengths fill each others' weaknesses.)

I think any two people can work. I think there are probably a few personalities that I could never ever be in a relationship with (some particular E personalities come in mind), but it really depends on the two people in the relationship. You can never know what two people have and why they do (or don't) work together.
It's funny that you just mention that because I met a INTJ and we spent hours on the phone just talking it was nice to talk to someone that was like me in a way but completely different... so just based on our conversation I could see that working out! So that gives me a different outlook on TJs!

Also your relationship sounds almost exactly what I'm wanting but with someone thats more extroverted then me! When I dated my ESTJ yikes... lol I really enjoyed his adventurous side and the fact that he never wanted to be at home... and thats not me at all so it was exciting until it got bad! :sad:
 

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I know! That's one of the things I love about my husband. We can talk for hours and have incredible conversation because we care/think about the same things, but the direction we come from are so different. Not that we have opposing views, but it's like watching a football game from opposite sides of the field. You both are seeing the same thing, and the same team wins, but you are seeing it from opposite sides of the field.

When we were first getting to know each other, we'd stay up talking at one or the other's apartment and be surprised when the sun came up. :) INTJ's are definitely worth it if you can get to talk.
 
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