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Discussion Starter #1
I am a man. I am an ESFP man. Funny guy, wanna hear a joke? Well, that is not on the menu today. I now have a lovely daughter who is dating, and will likely pick a beau and change her name, etc., bla, bla, bla. That is good. For here, that is the way it should be. God forbid that she should get tangled up with a guy who is abusive. I have seen far too many women in my day who wear the sunglasses to hide the black eyes, who have bruises on the bottoms of their forearms, who have looked at me and said, "NOBODY tells my husband what to do."
I do not have the answers for this. I will tell you to take your children and proceed to the nearest Battered Women's Shelter. Seek help from whatever sources you can find: a church, the police, friends.
It is likely that you suffer from low self-esteem. Well, drop that. There is no benefit in it, and God don't make junk. You are a child of God, and he not only loves you, he's ape shit crazy about you.
I will recommend that you purchase on line a copy of an out of print book, Gloria Steinem's Revolution from Within: A Book of Self Esteem. Work at making the next half of your life better than the first half! Good luck.
Digger Blue
 

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I think positive male role models in a young woman's life helps greatly. I think parents need to put the opinions aside about decisions in their child's life. I think they need to realize that there is more to the situation than they realize. As long as the child has the parent to rely on in worst case scenarios (and not as an enabler) then they will probably be able to overcome more easily. Many of the battered women have poor support systems. I do agree that they should be able to find strength within but sometimes people need a helping hand before that point. Plus, they can get into cycles of being in the process of getting out but something derails them. Usually what derails them is the abusive person. Obviously, they don't have their best interest in mind and that's not easy. Sometimes instead of feeling like a victim (because that's painful when it's an every day reality) people numb themselves to it. I would compare it to an adrenaline rush in a sense. Like you're putting all of your energy into just making it through and it's more strategic than a head to head battle because obviously, again making your intentions known can make it more difficult to get out.

Also, every situation including abuse is different. Not everyone is so obvious, they come from all different social and economic backgrounds.

That sounds like an interesting book that you recommended. The best thing I learned about self esteem and assertiveness was learning boundaries. For example:

Assertiveness, Not Aggressiveness | Psychology Today
 

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Discussion Starter #3
On the topic of the presence of good male models, I came from a world (for the last 30 years) where the professionals went to work, then took their laptops home and worked another 3 or 4 hours more on the computer. That is 3 or 4 hours of time that one has with their mate and/or family that is now donated to the company. Is there something wrong there? Do the mates and children ever figure out that they are being cheated? Yes they do. The mates sometimes leave, and the children say, "Dad, you weren't there when I needed you."
Digger Blue
 
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