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Discussion Starter #1
Tell me about yourself.

I'm a woman in her twenties. I have neither children nor a legitimate significant other which may not seem like that big of a deal except that I live in the middle of nowhere where most people are married right after college or immediately after high school because they got pregnant. I don't have that great of a career at the moment, either. I'm really talking myself up here in an effort to impress in case you hadn't noticed. ;)

I'm constantly trying to blend fantasy and reality, trying to live the dream but be practical about it. It's all about risk pooling and diversification but at the end of the day there's only so much time. I've had so many fantasies about owning my own organic farm and running away from society to shave alpacas and write children's books, I can't even count.

What do you do for a living and/or study and how did you come to choose or not choose that vocation and/or study?

I was originally pre-med because I read a book called Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder about Paul Farmer who dedicated himself to giving free medical care to the Haitian people. He was such a self-starter and had such a good heart that it made me cry and I wanted to be like that. So, I went to a good school and got really close to getting an undergraduate degree but then there were a series of catastrophes that ensued when I had just one semester left so I became a chemist instead. Eventually I had to quit because my sister was dying so now I'm living in a small city with her and working as a waitress where I get elderly people their breakfast so they can gossip about whoever isn't there. I'm also looking for office work so I can save up and go back to school (I currently have loans up to wazoo!).

Not quite sure what I want to do as far as career goes. I enjoy writing fiction and would love to make some money doing that but the field is difficult to crack into. I've worked as a writer, a laboratory assistant, a chemist, and all those other menial jobs that people work.
I'm caught between becoming: a nurse (and work my way toward med school), a psychologist, and a writer (although I figure I can do that while I do anything else.)

What are your interests and hobbies?


I'm currently working on a book with a psychotherapist on empowering women (she's the expert on feminism and I'm the writer). Not sure if that's an interest or a hobby or maybe both. I also enjoy painting, pastry art, photography, writing fiction (as I said before), and reading fiction. I also bike, run, play tennis, wish I could get out on the soccer field more often. Also, I've been reading Kant lately as a way to get my neurons firing (as work just isn't cutting the mustard for me). I also like foreign languages and cultures.


My ENTp friend's eyes lit up once as said to me, "Oh my god! People are your hobby! That's your hobby!"
I groaned as I realized he was right.
I'm around a lot of NT's with whom I very much enjoy discussing technical details, knowledge, information, etc. But at the end of the day, I always want to take the information to "save" humanity or help people in some way--much to their dismay.

I really love stories. I love mythology and psychology. I love Carl Jung. I love the idea of being completely self reliant and being able to grow my own food. I was able to have my first garden this year and I grew sweet peas and sweet potatoes. I like learning about how to take care of people, creatures, plants, etc. I also like learning how to and also actually making: jewelry, magnets, scarves, clothes, etc. Pretty small town stuff but there it is.

Oh, and I was recently appointed the deputy of the neighborhood watch committee. So that's fun! :)

In what areas of your life would you like help?


I want a legitimate boyfriend does that count? I have about three right now but none are legitimate. I also really wish someone would teach me how to fix cars and then maybe I could change my own oil. That would be really nice. Except I know I will most likely not go forth to figure this kind of thing out on my own. I'm far too terrified of blowing something up or breaking something (which I have sometimes been prone to do especially when I first start out).

What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and perspectives?


I believe in Good and I believe in God but I don't really go to church because there's something about the serenity and tradition of churches that, afterwards, always makes me feel dead inside.

If it counts, I don't eat meat and here's why. A couple of years ago, I was having terrible nightmares and then I stumbled upon this yoga book that explained that eating meat was putting evil into your body. So I tried it and the nightmares stopped.

A few months ago, I ate some salmon because I thought it would be nice to have some healthy protein and I had a horrible nightmare that my uncle was luring prostitutes into his basement and then hacking them to pieces and cooking them. He did this while his wife and son were in the house and his wife allowed him to do this because, in his words, "I just want to try it once." But after a while, he started doing it more and more and she went up to him and explained, "This is going too far." He continued on anyway and gave me a cookbook for how to cook human flesh at which point I got involved and my aunt and I called the police. The point is, that was a very bad dream so I don't eat meat anymore.

I certainly do not endorse any of the conventional church stances on homosexuality. I have a lot of amazing gay friends and family who I love very much and I don't think it's right/wise/ethical to have a law/rule against who you can or cannot love (assuming it's consensual). I also think it's ridiculous to outlaw what you can and cannot grow. Life has it's own law and it's totally organic. lol. :) That being said, I don't actually feel comfortable not obeying laws. I like to align myself with forces that are more powerful than myself.

 

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You mentioned currently reading Kant, how do you feel (or what do you think) about his categorical imperative?

Also it seems that being in a relationship is important to you, could you elaborate on this topic?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
You mentioned currently reading Kant, how do you feel (or what do you think) about his categorical imperative?
It seems to me that he's suggesting that we can't be certain that the external world exists at all as it is all merely experienced by our minds. The only thing we can actually be certain of is the way in which our minds process and measure data. In these regards, I agree with him whole heartedly yet I will not go so far as to say that empirical evidence does us no good as Te is just as important of a function as Ti. lol. Sorry, all I can think is that he's favoring Ti over Te.

Also it seems that being in a relationship is important to you, could you elaborate on this topic?
I feel it is my duty to reproduce and the conventional family unit which contains two parents seems to be the easiest way to rear healthy, well-adjusted offspring. (I say easiest here because I don't think it is the only way but I believe it is the easiest way for me because I think it would be easier to team up on rearing children). I began my dating experience with a theory of how relationships should work. After each relationship ended, I recalculated and redefined my rule set and then tried again under the new calculations. All of my previous relationships began prior to any knowledge abou the theory of duality.

This is the reason I am so curious about finding my type, I'm hoping it will allow me to find my dual. In this way I hope to waste less time as I have a limited amont of time to reproduce and limited amount of energy to spend fighting/arguing/falling in love/etc. In all honesty, if I can't find someone suitable within the allotted time, I have already arranged back up plans (surrogacy followed by taking on a partnership with my gay best friend) and I will probably be much better off forgetting about the entire thing.

That being said, arranging an appropriate family unit is a secondary goal for me. My primary goal is becoming independent, seeking truth and knowledge, becoming useful in some way, and having passion in my career. Looking back on it, I dove out of every relationship I've been in just before it got too serious as each of them was incredibly draining on my time and energy reserves and I had no reason to believe that they wouldn't get worse as time went on. If I didn't feel it was my duty to reproduce, a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders. I could just have flings when I wanted to be close to someone and then go back to what I was doing before.

Oh, and btw, I love Dorothy Parker. :)
 

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I feel it is my duty to reproduce and the conventional family unit which contains two parents seems to be the easiest way to rear healthy, well-adjusted offspring. (I say easiest here because I don't think it is the only way but I believe it is the easiest way for me because I think it would be easier to team up on rearing children). I began my dating experience with a theory of how relationships should work. After each relationship ended, I recalculated and redefined my rule set and then tried again under the new calculations. All of my previous relationships began prior to any knowledge abou the theory of duality.

...

That being said, arranging an appropriate family unit is a secondary goal for me. My primary goal is becoming independent, seeking truth and knowledge, becoming useful in some way, and having passion in my career. Looking back on it, I dove out of every relationship I've been in just before it got too serious as each of them was incredibly draining on my time and energy reserves and I had no reason to believe that they wouldn't get worse as time went on. If I didn't feel it was my duty to reproduce, a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders. I could just have flings when I wanted to be close to someone and then go back to what I was doing before.
I kind of understand where you are coming from here. (Why do you feel this way? Is it cultural, parental?) I feel society expects me to reproduce in order to be a "normal" woman, though I'm getting over that as I get older; I choose to not have children, as I'm not willing to spend the time and effort raising one, and I suck at taking care of myself. A few things for you to consider, though: first of all, if you can't stand the time and energy drain of having a boyfriend, what makes you think you're ready for a child? That kid's going to be even more dependent on you, is going to take up even more time than an SO. Which brings me back to why you feel it is your duty to reproduce. Can you afford to wait until you're ready? If you rush into something and end up regretting your choices, that's going to negatively affect the kid's life as well.

This is the reason I am so curious about finding my type, I'm hoping it will allow me to find my dual. In this way I hope to waste less time as I have a limited amont of time to reproduce and limited amount of energy to spend fighting/arguing/falling in love/etc. In all honesty, if I can't find someone suitable within the allotted time, I have already arranged back up plans (surrogacy followed by taking on a partnership with my gay best friend) and I will probably be much better off forgetting about the entire thing.
Duality is not a magical formula. It's just the most comfortable exchange of information between two people. So even if you find your dual, you'll need to have other compatibility as well for it to work.
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
I kind of understand where you are coming from here. (Why do you feel this way? Is it cultural, parental?)
Instinctual. I have strong maternal instincts. And I mean strong. Like can lift 1,000 pounds strong.

I feel society expects me to reproduce in order to be a "normal" woman, though I'm getting over that as I get older; I choose to not have children, as I'm not willing to spend the time and effort raising one, and I suck at taking care of myself.
I find myself shining when someone's life depends on me. When other people depend on me in general I become a force of nature. When it's just me and I'm fighting for myself and my survival, I become lazy and uncaring like: what's the point? who cares? I thought that was a type 6 thing. Maybe you just don't know what you're capable of yet.

As for society, I don't want to knock your reasoning here or anything but deciding not to do something just because "society" wants you to and deciding not to do something just because "society" wants you to are both giving "society" equal weight and power in your decision making process and thus giving "society" more voice than yourself and your personal desires. What do you really want? There are pros and cons to having children.

Pro: your genetic code proliferates and lives on beyond yourself; you get to grow a mini-you; you get to watch someone grow from infancy into adulthood learning about themselves and the world; you get to help them discover who they are, what they want, and what the world is about; you can selflessly devote yourself to something larger than your own trivial problems as another life depends on you and you can rise to the occasion. In many cultures throughout the world, you aren't even considered an adult until you have children because having children provides the opportunity to change your entire outlook on the world. You can start thinking more long term, more about society and problems outside of yourself, develop more compassion, etc. (although some people just become cynical, bitter alcoholics who take out their undesired sacrifices onto their children it's true that sometimes happens when you choose the wrong partner).

Con: they cost a lot more and maybe you'd rather not be tied down to that kind of obligation. Having more free time = more you time! Yay! And there's no children around to break your awesome toys that you can afford because you're not paying for kids. You can get your drink on any night you please without any guilt. Etc. Etc.

A few things for you to consider, though: first of all, if you can't stand the time and energy drain of having a boyfriend, what makes you think you're ready for a child? That kid's going to be even more dependent on you, is going to take up even more time than an SO. Which brings me back to why you feel it is your duty to reproduce. Can you afford to wait until you're ready? If you rush into something and end up regretting your choices, that's going to negatively affect the kid's life as well.
I have a theory that the reason why it was draining to have an SO was because my SO's have been neither mature nor respectful of my needs nor my dual match. The first two expected me to incessantly cater to their physical needs (cooking, laundry, money, etc.) the third expected me to incessantly cater to his insecurities/emotional needs (never ending storm of: "I love you so much." "Thank you so much for being my boyfriend." etc.). Even that would be okay and I could have handled it if they had responded to anything I told them such as, "Because I had to leave work to bring you gas because you rode it on E until you ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere, I have to work late. Could you please put the dishes away for me?" (to which I got a fight that resounded with the answer, "No.") Or, "Because my wrist got sliced open in a lab accident could you please go and pick something up for us to eat tonight?" (to which I got a fight, "I'm not your errand boy!" and "maybe we should break up"--to which I responded, "Go, then." and he didn't but that's not the point). Or, "Today is my dad's wedding and I would really appreciate it if I could mingle and you could understand that this day isn't about you." (to which I got and endless weekend of him crying that I didn't pay enough attention to him, threats that he would break up with me and then the whomping finale of, "You didn't even say thank you!") Yeah, so, after a while, I got sick of fighting.

I speculate that if I found someone who could help me out around the house and could refuse to be an insecure whining prat, then I would actually have a partner with whom I could raise some children. If they could be that kind of person, I would even be willing to take care of them and the children if the need called for it although hopefully this would only be a temporary arrangement which is why I refuse to marry someone who is too old, too young, an alcoholic, a drug addict, etc. I'm just not enough of a romantic.

I want someone who is fully capable of waiting on me hand and foot for the month before I give birth to their spawn. I'm looking for a partner not another child. I want a man who will set a good, responsible standard for his children as well. If he's raised by a whining mop bucket of a man, he'll think it's okay to emotionally drain other people (or if it's a girl she'll think it's necessary to cater to every emotional need of insecure men); if he's raised by a guy who can't figure out how to make himself a sandwich, he'll grow up thinking it's okay to eat out every day until he finds a nice woman who will cook for him all the time and never learn how to do it himself (or if it's a girl she'll think she has to do all that for a man for him to love her). It's all about setting a good example. Children learn from our decisions and life choices.

Children are a totally different story from SO's. I understand and expect children to be dumb as they just arrived here to planet earth a short time ago and know nothing of this planet's customs or this universe's rules. Gravity is a point of fascination for infants and a concept they don't quite grasp yet but I fully expect my partner to understand how gravity will kill my baby if he drops him/her. I have a lot of sympathy for infants/children and endless waves of forgiveness but my expectations for a partner are completely different and thus, my patience and energy supply are finite sums for my partner rather than the infinite waves I have for children.

Duality is not a magical formula. It's just the most comfortable exchange of information between two people. So even if you find your dual, you'll need to have other compatibility as well for it to work.
If a formula doesn't apply to reality and make life easier, then it isn't a real formula at all it's just ego prattle. If, for example, I had a theory about the restaurant business that didn't help anyone get more business and wasn't accurate when measured up to reality, the theory would be completely moot and if I went around telling everyone about my theory I'd be nothing more than a crackpot with no money in my pocket because it meant nothing. If, however, I've got a theory about the restaurant business which allows me to maximize profit margins, better predict consumer behavior, and give customers a more positive dining experience then look out! That's a theory that matters!

Obviously not all duals are attracted to each other but big picture first then all the details will fall into place. That's just how I roll. ;)
 

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Alpha/Delta quadra, I'm leaning towards ILE specifically, though haven't discounted the other Alpha/Delta types as implausible. Any Beta/Gamma type seems unlikely. I favor the Delta/Alpha extroverted types more than I do the introverted ones.

Your use of socionics to 'find a dual' with whom you can procreate is relevant as it speaks to the use of a structural framework, socionics, to solve a problem that you are directly concerned with, namely finding someone with whom to raise a family. From an outside perspective this seems like a novel and very creative solution to a practical problem that has plagued you. I identify this with Ne values, and perhaps Ti creative/Strong Ti/Ti Values (My preference for which ordered accordingly).

Your use of playful examples, that it's worthwhile to mentioned are quiet varied, including, though not limited to; gravity, referencing other cultures, men who are unable to make sandwiches (A fairly humorous anecdote, I think), paternal upbringing, restaurant business, ect. Seems to speak to Strong Ne/Valued Ne.

You seem to have an emphatic way of writing, not necessarily very emotional and somewhat matter of fact at times, that strikes me as an effort to create a somewhat lively and animated atmosphere for discussion. Seemingly valued Fe, though perhaps not strong Fe.

You don't seem to have any qualms about stating, and defending, your own opinions on the topic at hand. Your logical assertions on societal values, when referencing Kanerou's post, speak to this. This is in fair contrast to Kanerou's post which responded to the idea of maternal instincts in the indirect way of offering a personal and emotional response to the topic that didn't necessarily relate back to you. Kanerou is someone whom I am somewhat certain is EII and this means of non-confrontational discussion is characteristic of EII types. Kanerou essentially inquiring why you felt the way you do, and offering her own emotional insight up as well, without going so far as to assert that either opinion is correct. In contrast to this you seem to be more than willing to come up with many and varied reasons why choosing to rear a child is a good idea. The exchange itself makes me think Delta is less likely a quadra you inhabit. Kanerou's main concerns being effort and taking care of herself, seemingly Te/Si values, contrasting your concerns of widening your own personal perspective ( "...opportunity to change your entire outlook on the world.") seems more oriented towards Ne/Ti values.

All in all I like the alpha quadra more.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Alpha/Delta quadra, I'm leaning towards ILE specifically, though haven't discounted the other Alpha/Delta types as implausible. Any Beta/Gamma type seems unlikely. I favor the Delta/Alpha extroverted types more than I do the introverted ones.

Your use of socionics to 'find a dual' with whom you can procreate is relevant as it speaks to the use of a structural framework, socionics, to solve a problem that you are directly concerned with, namely finding someone with whom to raise a family. From an outside perspective this seems like a novel and very creative solution to a practical problem that has plagued you. I identify this with Ne values, and perhaps Ti creative/Strong Ti/Ti Values (My preference for which ordered accordingly).

Your use of playful examples, that it's worthwhile to mentioned are quiet varied, including, though not limited to; gravity, referencing other cultures, men who are unable to make sandwiches (A fairly humorous anecdote, I think), paternal upbringing, restaurant business, ect. Seems to speak to Strong Ne/Valued Ne.

You seem to have an emphatic way of writing, not necessarily very emotional and somewhat matter of fact at times, that strikes me as an effort to create a somewhat lively and animated atmosphere for discussion. Seemingly valued Fe, though perhaps not strong Fe.

You don't seem to have any qualms about stating, and defending, your own opinions on the topic at hand. Your logical assertions on societal values, when referencing Kanerou's post, speak to this. This is in fair contrast to Kanerou's post which responded to the idea of maternal instincts in the indirect way of offering a personal and emotional response to the topic that didn't necessarily relate back to you. Kanerou is someone whom I am somewhat certain is EII and this means of non-confrontational discussion is characteristic of EII types. Kanerou essentially inquiring why you felt the way you do, and offering her own emotional insight up as well, without going so far as to assert that either opinion is correct. In contrast to this you seem to be more than willing to come up with many and varied reasons why choosing to rear a child is a good idea. The exchange itself makes me think Delta is less likely a quadra you inhabit. Kanerou's main concerns being effort and taking care of herself, seemingly Te/Si values, contrasting your concerns of widening your own personal perspective ( "...opportunity to change your entire outlook on the world.") seems more oriented towards Ne/Ti values.

All in all I like the alpha quadra more.
You're right! The delta quadra always seemed too boring for me. They're always either really quiet or telling me to be quiet. The betas are fun but I can't really sustain "us" and "them" attitude for very long or very seriously (usually just because it's fun to pick fights with people hahaha). As for gammas, I feel like I should be more like them but I feel like they're judging me all of the time. Most of my bffs are in the alpha quadra but they can really make me feel so nutty sometimes that I just have to go home and be by myself and organize my thoughts, notes, and bedroom. Seriously. I met this ENTp girl once and we ended up talking for 12 hours about shamanism and journeys she had been on with angels and robot armies. I don't even want to get into it but it was crazy. We were best friends for two days and then we never talked again. Anyway, thanks so much for confirming my type! I feel so much better! Now I just have to find an ISFp. Trust me, I've been looking. The only one I've got on hand is my gay best friend who is my back up. He's actually great. When my house gets desperately messy, I call him, get him drunk and let him loose and he cleans it for me. :) It's amazing.
 

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Glad to help. You turning to socionics to solve your relatinship woes carried some very interesting similarities to Aushra's motivation for creating it in the first place.
 

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Glad to help. You turning to socionics to solve your relatinship woes carried some very interesting similarities to Aushra's motivation for creating it in the first place.
I'm in the process of formulating a reply, but this is what I saw as well. I did wonder about ILE, so I'm glad someone else sees it, too.
 
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I'm in the process of formulating a reply, but this is what I saw as well. I did wonder about ILE, so I'm glad someone else sees it, too.
That's what I'm here for :D

@marzipan01

By the by, please tell me that your example of being with a man who can't make a sandwich is a hypothetical. I mean, to venture into the realm of stereotypes where men can't cook, sandwiches are the only reason we've survived as a gender. You just take some meat, throw some bread around it, and viola you're able to continue not starving to death. Man invented sandwiches for this very reason, to stave off his own mortality in the absence of someone who could provide this service for him. Without man's inherent understanding of the life sustaining powers resulting form the combination of bread and meat, the human race would have died off long ago.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
That's what I'm here for :D

@marzipan01

By the by, please tell me that your example of being with a man who can't make a sandwich is a hypothetical. I mean, to venture into the realm of stereotypes where men can't cook, sandwiches are the only reason we've survived as a gender. You just take some meat, throw some bread around it, and viola you're able to continue not starving to death. Man invented sandwiches for this very reason, to stave off his own mortality in the absence of someone who could provide this service for him. Without man's inherent understanding of the life sustaining powers resulting form the combination of bread and meat, the human race would have died off long ago.
Unfortunately it wasn't hypothetical. Perhaps an exaggeration as I believe he could have made a sandwich if he tried but he expected me to do it for him so...
 

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Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
*chuckles* What a sorry situation to be in. Here's hoping your love life goes better in the future :D
Thank you. Just one last question, though. I've been told that I'm too emotional to be a "thinker" and too quiet to be an "extrovert." Which is the reason for my confusion about my type to begin with. Would you say one settles into a type as one gets older or expresses one's type more in youth? What are your thoughts on the matter?

I am currently working along side an ENFp psychotherapist in helping her write her book. She doesn't much care for the undertaking of writing as it's too introverted and time consuming and she prefers to communicate with people (like me, for example). She said I was definitely an xNFj. I assumed that the reason she felt I was a good fit was because I have a knack for sensing other people's motives which correlates to Fi. I'm not always argumentative (certainly never with anyone who doesn't like it or is my boss/superior in some way) although I have been told I'm a strong woman and I make some people feel a bit insecure because I am able to vocalize quite clearly what I want when the need arises to do so (often these are men who I believe think that women should be subservient to their men's opinions which I think is BS). Although usually that's not my stance. Online I'm a bit more argumentative because I'm thinking "out loud" but the only person with whom I've ever actually done that with in real life is my ENTp best friend and that's because he does it, allows it, and relates to it. Also sometimes my mom because she thinks it's funny. Grah.

But would you say that feelers are more likely to manipulate to get their opinions across and thinkers are more likely to just say what's on their minds? Because I don't think I'm very manipulative unless there's a severe power imbalance. And if there's a severe power imbalance, lately I've been thinking primarily about that problem. I don't really like the person I become in that situation very much. The seduction, the alliances that need to be made, etc. It's ugly. I hate competition.

I've also read that due to ENTp's problem with Fi they have trouble choosing people who they can actually trust. I've also noticed about ENTp's that they care a lot about popularity and their public image. I have always found popularity to be a shallow construct. I don't have nearly as much trouble gauging who is actually on my side and who isn't. I have always had a keen sense of who was sane, who was a little unstable, and why someone liked someone else or didn't. Usually, I just try to stay out of all of it but I've found my gift to be pretty nifty in screening people out of my life.

Up until the last couple of years, I always stayed away from ESTps. Never trusted them. Didn't think we had anything in common. Just stayed away. Then I started to wonder if that was just error on my side perhaps I had made a hasty judgement. Then I started hanging out with a couple ESTps and it turned out terrible for both me and the ESTps. Worst type relation I've ever had. They don't get anything I do or say and I don't get anything they do or say. I find them too aggressive, too pushy, taking over everything without tact or respect for anyone. And they think I'm bi*** because I don't want to talk to anyone unless they can talk about something I find interesting. The truth is, I'm not good with small talk with strangers and I'm not great at meeting new people associated with someone who I'm not sure I completely understand. I do not understand ESTps. They consistently seem to tell me the wrong times for things which makes it impossible for me to plan ahead. They also seem more attracted to boobs than to brains--also something I can't comprehend.

I believe this type relation fits under "conflicting" relations as an INFp seems like someone who would be more suitable. In fact, the only times I could get along with these types was when I used Fe which I have consistently rejected since middle school finding the function to be adolescent and shallow. Real friends aren't necessarily the most popular or the best but they're loyal and they've all got their unique talents and perspectives.

Also, I've always felt completely misunderstood which, according to Jung, is the problem with the introvert in general. Mostly I have felt misunderstood about what I'm experiencing and why I do what I do. I feel like people jump down my case about making improper choices in my life but it seems like only a few actually understand why I do what I do.

Sorry for all the text but the more that I think about it, I have to say in all honesty, I have a lot more self control, ambition, and discernment than my perceiving friends (which may be due to the Ti so I'm not counting it out). And while it may take me a few times of meeting someone and interacting with them one on one I can get a pretty good feel for who they are and what they're about.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Alpha quadra dearly but I'm just not sure that I'm one of them. Like I said when I hang out with them too long I just want to go home and clean my room and resume my normal life instead of the crazy creative mess that is associated with the alphas. But I'm not ruling it out either. Just trying to get more of a feeling here.
 

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Well it seems a lot of your confusion is stemming from intermingling MBTI and socionics. 'Feelers and Thinkers' diverge wildly in socionics from one Feeler/Thinker to the next. An ILE shares an infinitesimally scat resemblance to an ILI despite the fact that both types are 'Thinkers'. Feeling and Thinking in socionics are terms that mean next to nothing as they don't differentiate between the extroverted or introverted manifestations of their IM elements. Fi ego types, by socionic definition, oppose Fe ego types in terms of interpersonal values. The same is true of Te and Ti ego types.

Further, the terms Judging and Perceiving in socionics only dictate function placement within model A. They have no bearing on behavior whatsoever, rather the order IM elements placed in a socionic type defines values which, in turn, may influence (but certainly don't dictate) behavior. For example SXE (SLE/SEE) types can be incredibly ambitious, while SXI (SEI/SLI) types can illicit a more lackadaisical nature.

As for ILEs having an orientation towards popularity. That's a somewhat contrived explanation of the manifestation of weak but valued Fe. Essentially, they like lively, animated, emotionally open, and all inclusive atmospheres for interaction, but aren't quite adept at creating them even though they would like to and so may seek assistance in this regard. This may seem as if they are seeking 'popularity' but that's not really what they are getting at though an ILE could certainly make the assumption that being 'popular' would aid them in this regard and seek it out for that reason.

Extroversion and Introversion, in the colloquial sense of measuring personal warmth, approachability, and how sociable an individual is, are, in socionics, terms that only dictate function placement within model A and have little bearing on how outgoing an individual may be. Introverted (meaning their lead, role, mobilizing, and demonstrative functions are introverted) Fe ego types can be incredibly sociable, warm, and very well may party all night long quite often. While XEEs (IEEs more readily than SEEs) may be somewhat more subdued in this regard.


All that being said, my second guess for your type would likely be ESE. Activator pairs can sometimes appear very similar to each other on the surface and for that reason can be confused when trying to type oneself or others.
 

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This description fits me very, very well. Socionics Types: EII-INFj

The last ESTp I dated got angry with me all of the time for being "moody" and "unhappy" when in reality I was just confused, frustrated at having my time be completely taken over and controlled by him (who was actually incredibly disorganized so I had no idea what was happening any given day) and feeling misunderstood. The more angry he became the more the problem was exacerbated as I became angry with him for being angry with me for being me.

EIIs are usually very straightforward about their feelings in front of others; what you see from them is what you get. Even at a party where everyone is supposed to be happy, they still find it hard to conceal their true feelings when they are in a bad mood. This can create distaste among the rest who feel that the EII is not cooperating by contributing to the positive and boisterous mood. This tends to lead others who don't know the EII well to have a misconception that he/she is a grouchy person by nature.



 
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