[nikkigargin]

So i am really hurting right now. i have walked away from a friendship of 11 years, in which was from kids into adults.
I cant express the good times, spoke everyday about anything and everything, she knew me more than some of my family did.
But on the flip side, it was also very abusive at time, and im not a wall flower im assertive and give it as good as ive got, but i hate argueing and generally wont cause one without very good reason.

you know the ones who cant admit they were wrong?
one that through your help back in your face even though they asked for it? and it wasnt good enough?
the one that would make you feel in the wrong about a situation rather than have your back?
the one would do things and say things to you that they would flip out over if it was done to them?
one that would compete with you with other people? never be happy for you? never be paitent and understanding or listen to your problems fully?
wanted it their way or no way?

and the list goes on.

after the end of a joint tenancy of a year, which i have now moved out, one arguement to many and i just decided i couldnt do it anymore, i was getting ALOT more grief than happyness out of this, and i had seen so many of her colours that i generally didnt like them anymore. so i told her i never wanted to see her again (in a heated arguement than i ment) and never to ring or text me.

but i feel sad...who do i call everyday? who is my garentee to do anything with me? who do i call about the funny thing on tv that only we would find funny?

anyone else gone through something similiar, i would be interested to know.

 

[EskimoFox]

Long time for a post to happen, but here it is. I had to stand up to a best friend of 8 or so years on account of his gf breakin up with him. He wouldn't accept it, and I had to let him know that he couldn't hold onto her any longer without hurting her, she wanted out. I told him a little more strenuously than perhaps I shouldve. Now he won't speak to me. And while I'm not giving up this friendship, and I think he just needs his space, I've known something about your loneliness for the past six months as he has avoided my every gesture of friendship. It hurts, it's lonely, but it's necessary for me to give him space, and its necessary for you to get away from your friend. I hate to hear about a friendship that ends in brokenness, but you don't appear at all to be in the fault, merely someone who stood up for herself. Good for you, you don't deserve abuse, and even though you know this, and even though it's a little late, you did the right thing, and you will be able to carry on, and one day you'll wake up and realize the people in your life who you thought were just acquaintances compared to your best friend are now your best friends by comparison, and you might not be so lonely after all. Keep on tuggin, friend.:happy:

 

[GoGo]

I relate so much to this post it's scary. I walked away from a very deep friendship I had for almost the exact same reasons, and it's been a few months now since it happened. It was the competitive atmosphere that really drove me to finally leave. Every time we were together I just became very quiet because I was tired of feeling like I was fighting with him over the attention of our mutual friends. Every time I would say something funny or thoughtful, he would feel the need to shoot it down, or one up me. It became extremely easy to see through, and extremely irritating.

After I walked away, it was hard. A large piece of my life was now gone, and I didn't really have a lot to fill it with. I'm still recovering, but it's just a....process. For a while I just felt really lonely. He wasn't my only friend by far, but after the "break up," I just didn't really want to talk to anyone. I just needed some alone time. Emotionally, it was just a really tough spot in my life, but eventually I called a friend up and we started working out together, and at that point it seemed like everything was falling back into place.

What I'm saying is, you just lost a person who was very dear to you, so take your time to grieve and have your alone time. When the time comes, you'll have to get yourself out of that slump, and for me, other people were the cure. Until then, I just felt like I was on my own, and to a certain extent, I was, but even if I hung out with people who I wasn't 100% close with, it was better than nothing. It was much better than hanging out with my old friend and feeling inferior, or like I'm competing.

It's just a very sad situation, so don't feel afraid to feel sad, or even angry, but after a while, make sure that you get over it, but don't necessarily give in.

 

[kaycee]

*hugs*


I have had my friendship abused by several friends, and unfortunately, one of them the other person walked away from cause I couldn't do it, and the other, I'm still fighting to completely break away. I'm doing an alright job.

I know it's so hard for me to believe that people aren't who I thought they were, and it's even harder for me to give up on someone. I hold on to the idea that I can fix a person, change them, make them nicer, make them how I want them to be, but obviously, this is not the case.

It will hurt for awhile...for quite some time when the first friendship I talked about ended, I couldn't stop thinking about my friend, but then I got involved in other stuff and eventually, I mostly got over it. Sure, every so often I get nostalgic, but really, I am much better off.

Hopefully, you will realize it soon enough too. <3