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So I consider myself to be a feminine man and I was a feminine boy growing up. I want to know what other feminine boys or men's life experiences, which you think were effected by your femininity, have been like from childhood to adulthood. Specifically, things like how being feminine made things tougher for you, how it made things easier for you, how it made things different for you, how it effected the people that you became friends with, how it effected dating, how it effected the way you view the world, if you like being feminine or if you would prefer being more masculine, did you purposefully try to make yourself more feminine or more masculine, and things like that. I think that it is important to focus on childhood signs of femininity because I believe that personality traits are more telling of your genetic makeup when you are younger before other things start effecting how you behave.

I'm also interested in how feminine you all think that you are.
I'll start by saying a little about myself. I consider myself quite feminine because I'm very low in aggression, very low in sex drive, I didn't like to wrestle or play in rough ways as a child, I enjoyed making up stories with my sister about romance between cartoon characters, I was scared of bugs as a child and I still am, I was very attached to my mother as a child, I was a fearful child, I was gentle and overly nice sometimes as a child, I enjoyed acting goofy and silly as a child and had a silly feminine sense of humor, I found babies really cute and funny as a child, I was a pacifist as a child, I was very sensitive and insecure as a child and as a teen, I avoided conflict, I watched girly tv shows as a child like The Amanda Show and The Powerpuff Girls, I like listening to girly singers like Britney Spears and Ariane Grande, and I think that as a child and now I just gave off a vibe of being this timid feminine type of person.

My most masculine traits are my narcissism, part of this is due to me having aspergers and having dealt with several traumatic experiences as a child which I had to cope with, and my competitiveness.
 

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As an adjective feminine and effeminate are different. Feminine implies physical and biological traits, like clear, soft skin. Effeminate implies personality and behaviour. Just letting you know.

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As an adjective feminine and effeminate are different. Feminine implies physical and biological traits, like clear, soft skin. Effeminate implies personality and behaviour. Just letting you know.

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I looked up the word "feminine" and "effeminate" online and it seems that feminine and effeminate can both be used to describe a man and both mean pretty much the same thing. The difference is that effeminate is only used to describe a man, and effeminate is considered to be insulting.
 

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Traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness,[14] supportiveness,[10][7] gentleness,[7][8] warmth,[10][8] passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness,[24] modesty, humility, empathy,[7] affection, tenderness,[10] and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding[8] have been cited as stereotypically feminine. The defining characteristics of femininity vary between and even within societies.[10]
All the traits listed above are traits I find are worth cultivating, they are good. Aside from biological hormones, I also appreciate these qualities in other people as well. Some online tests will predict me as female- maybe for having such traits? but I know I'm not. I'd like to reply more, and maybe I will in a follow-up post, but I just haven't thought too much of how being a person with the above traits affected my upbringing. I know it made things hard in some ways, but that's just who I was, and someone else's disapproval doesn't reduce my worth as a human.
 

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All the traits listed above are traits I find are worth cultivating, they are good. Aside from biological hormones, I also appreciate these qualities in other people as well. Some online tests will predict me as female- maybe for having such traits? but I know I'm not. I'd like to reply more, and maybe I will in a follow-up post, but I just haven't thought too much of how being a person with the above traits affected my upbringing. I know it made things hard in some ways, but that's just who I was, and someone else's disapproval doesn't reduce my worth as a human.
I agree that all of the traits you have mentioned are great. Sometimes I wish that everybody had those traits, although everyone being the same would get boring. Since about 10 years ago, I've started to really value feminine traits and have started to really dislike masculine traits. I know this is wrong because for most things balance is the key, but it just seems like femininity is associated with more things that I value, and some things that I think all people should value. I associate femininity with beauty, empathy, morality, peacefulness, understanding, silliness, spirituality, nature, and other things that I find positive.

I guess that how much being a male with many feminine traits affected you would depend on the place and culture that you were brought up in. Where were you brought up?
 

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I agree that all of the traits you have mentioned are great. Sometimes I wish that everybody had those traits, although everyone being the same would get boring. Since about 10 years ago, I've started to really value feminine traits and have started to really dislike masculine traits. I know this is wrong because for most things balance is the key, but it just seems like femininity is associated with more things that I value, and some things that I think all people should value. I associate femininity with beauty, empathy, morality, peacefulness, understanding, silliness, spirituality, nature, and other things that I find positive.

I guess that how much being a male with many feminine traits affected you would depend on the place and culture that you were brought up in. Where were you brought up?
I was brought up in Cupertino, CA. There are a lot of start-ups in that area, and my friend group in high school consisted almost entirely of NTs. There was one or two SF types, but they stayed around only for transient periods. They weren't the best fit in that group, just like how I wasn't. In the latter bit of junior and through senior year, I embraced "outcastedness" and hung up with one other INFP.
 

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I was brought up in Cupertino, CA. There are a lot of start-ups in that area, and my friend group in high school consisted almost entirely of NTs. There was one or two SF types, but they stayed around only for transient periods. They weren't the best fit in that group, just like how I wasn't. In the latter bit of junior and through senior year, I embraced "outcastedness" and hung up with one other INFP.
Ah you lived in Cupertino for a while - I was originally from San Jose :)


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Ah you lived in Cupertino for a while - I was originally from San Jose :)


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Yeah I remember your location back from when there was a discussion on AI and racism(?) maybe I'm remembering wrong.

The whole Bay Area is an interesting place. I find the center of San Jose is a bit overwhelming, but the city limits go so far out that the sides are an entirely different feel.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I was brought up in Cupertino, CA. There are a lot of start-ups in that area, and my friend group in high school consisted almost entirely of NTs. There was one or two SF types, but they stayed around only for transient periods. They weren't the best fit in that group, just like how I wasn't. In the latter bit of junior and through senior year, I embraced "outcastedness" and hung up with one other INFP.
I've never been to California and I've never heard of Cupertino California, but I get the impression that being a feminine man there wouldn't be considered out of the ordinary. California, in my opinion in general, seems to me to be a place that is more accepting of things that aren't socially the norm. I grew up in a western New York suburb, so things were different for me. Where I went to school, in high school, guys could get away with feminine behavior if they were popular, but otherwise they might be made fun of, to varying degrees. Then again, it depended on the grade; some grades of kids were more tolerant of people behaving in ways that didnt conform to their gender and some were less tolerant.
 
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So I consider myself to be a feminine man and I was a feminine boy growing up. I want to know what other feminine boys or men's life experiences, which you think were effected by your femininity, have been like from childhood to adulthood. Specifically, things like how being feminine made things tougher for you, how it made things easier for you, how it made things different for you, how it effected the people that you became friends with, how it effected dating, how it effected the way you view the world, if you like being feminine or if you would prefer being more masculine, did you purposefully try to make yourself more feminine or more masculine, and things like that. I think that it is important to focus on childhood signs of femininity because I believe that personality traits are more telling of your genetic makeup when you are younger before other things start effecting how you behave.

I'm also interested in how feminine you all think that you are.
I'll start by saying a little about myself. I consider myself quite feminine because I'm very low in aggression, very low in sex drive, I didn't like to wrestle or play in rough ways as a child, I enjoyed making up stories with my sister about romance between cartoon characters, I was scared of bugs as a child and I still am, I was very attached to my mother as a child, I was a fearful child, I was gentle and overly nice sometimes as a child, I enjoyed acting goofy and silly as a child and had a silly feminine sense of humor, I found babies really cute and funny as a child, I was a pacifist as a child, I was very sensitive and insecure as a child and as a teen, I avoided conflict, I watched girly tv shows as a child like The Amanda Show and The Powerpuff Girls, I like listening to girly singers like Britney Spears and Ariane Grande, and I think that as a child and now I just gave off a vibe of being this timid feminine type of person.

My most masculine traits are my narcissism, part of this is due to me having aspergers and having dealt with several traumatic experiences as a child which I had to cope with, and my competitiveness.
The bolded elements you find feminine, to me, are a goal themselves.

Apart of those, the femininity thing you may disaprove, WILL be the click factor to the right person to form long term compatibility with you. We can put it this way, what is undesirable to one partner can and WILL be the commitment factor for another, just look for one who is like you and that will erase the dilemma of that.

Ill exemplify. To me, the infj Im having a relationship with finds many of my supressed qualities arousing and exciting. While considering the upper layers of me slower to warm this person up. So sometimes the realest us is the most appealing to the most compatible person there is for us. In another order of ideas, if we are in a compatible company, we will always win.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
The bolded elements you find feminine, to me, are a goal themselves.

Apart of those, the femininity thing you may disaprove, WILL be the click factor to the right person to form long term compatibility with you. We can put it this way, what is undesirable to one partner can and WILL be the commitment factor for another, just look for one who is like you and that will erase the dilemma of that.

Ill exemplify. To me, the infj Im having a relationship with finds many of my supressed qualities arousing and exciting. While considering the upper layers of me slower to warm this person up. So sometimes the realest us is the most appealing to the most compatible person there is for us. In another order of ideas, if we are in a compatible company, we will always win.
Thank you for this post. It made me feel better about my feminine nature and gives me hope that I can find friends who accept me for who I am.

You also touched on something that I want to mention. You mentioned suppressed qualities and I feel like some of my qualities and interests that are feminine have been suppressed or undiscovered until I became an adult. Part of the reason that I have suppressed feminine qualities is because I'm black and I grew up with black parents and a black sister. There wasn't much emotion or expressiveness in my family and I learned at a very young age that being feminine as a male was wrong, and it would make people think that you were gay. I internalized that being gay was unacceptable at a young age based on my life experiences and observations in the media. Sometimes I feel like I've suppressed so much of my femininity that I don't know completely who the real me is.

I no longer disapprove of my feminine qualities. I try to embrace them and I've become proud of them. I feel like most feminine traits are better than masculine traits, and I read something online that suggested that masculine traits are mainly valuable in times of conflict while feminine traits are better in times of peace. Also, in anime that I watch I see male characters with more feminine traits that I can relate to and identify with which makes me happy. But it's hard to find people in real life who are like the anime characters that I idealize. Lol.
 

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There are a lot of ways to approach this topic and I think most people will have a very different take on what the question being posed here even means.

For myself I've found that I'm calm and graceful. I like to hug people and speak before acting. I did ballet as a kid and dislike talking about cars and sports. There are a lot of other traits I could name, but overall I must confess that I've never viewed these qualities as feminine or less manly in any way.
I think the classic idea of feminine vs masculine is misguided and doesn't fit reality. We're teaching our children that boys have to be tough and girls have to be sweet, which is garbage.

Of course there are differences and we should be honest about those, but there's a spectrum here and it's strange to label everything that's not on the extreme end of the spectrum as abnormal.

In short: I feel like I'm masculine in the ways that seem valid to me. I don't subscribe to the common image of what the words feminine and masculine mean because those stereotypes actively hurt people.
 
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Thank you for this post. It made me feel better about my feminine nature and gives me hope that I can find friends who accept me for who I am.

It cool that you are open for ownership of your real self. That assist communication a great deal. I cant tell if its masculine or not, but its most certainly strenght. And firmness is what you would want to get in touch with for finding and building up quality friendships. Theres one more thing Id like to say though. Having acceptance as a goal is like playing not to lose. Its not you who needs to be accepted, based on what Ive read here about you its you who are in a position to accept/refuse. You just dont know that one, yet. But time shall unveil that one to you. 100% surely.

You also touched on something that I want to mention. You mentioned suppressed qualities and I feel like some of my qualities and interests that are feminine have been suppressed or undiscovered until I became an adult. Part of the reason that I have suppressed feminine qualities is because I'm black and I grew up with black parents and a black sister.

That is a culture related possibility. But just to make it clear, I have met what you are describing in other skin color families as well. Its a universal value related reflection of desires, and projections from their behalf.

There wasn't much emotion or expressiveness in my family and I learned at a very young age that being feminine as a male was wrong, and it would make people think that you were gay.

The way gay stuff is intrepreted is entirely wrong. First of all we are not animals, entirely. Second of all there are active and passive homosexuals. So most masculine active homosexual is still gay. So hardly relating. But what I wanted to point out is HOW gayness linked to feminity is actually defined. As its connecting being submissive, feminine and delicate to being a bitch of everyone. But are you really that? A floor mop? Having so called feminine traits isnt IMHO at all being a loser. You seem like a person with a firm set of values, principles and endurance to selfdevelop in those aspects of life. Is that submissive, hell no. Besides. To me, having soft skills as a male is actually an ideal leader, as they can manage both feels and projects themselves at the same time. Its not that easy to initiate something of value if we are hard and calculating while peoples decidion making processess are 99% emotion based. It actually requires a lot of extra skillset to admin peoples needs when all one focuses upon is competence and outcome. Especially in a professional environment. So those elements you have been told suck, might actually land you in your life social roles that will make a lot of the haters envy you. But those need firmness along the way, which maturity shall grant you. So in a way, as long as you CONTINUE to remain openminded, time shall be on your side with this. Absolutely.

I internalized that being gay was unacceptable at a young age based on my life experiences and observations in the media. Sometimes I feel like I've suppressed so much of my femininity that I don't know completely who the real me is.

To me, if you dont hurt anyone, and mutual consent is HEAVILY involved any type of caring amongst adults should be fine. I dont encourage it, its not my thing, but if thats the ticker, then heres the feather. Find out who you are, PerC is a way. Just be aware that not everyone here is well intended. And youll do great.

I no longer disapprove of my feminine qualities. I try to embrace them and I've become proud of them.
Thats they way to do start doing it. Claim that ownership mate.

I feel like most feminine traits are better than masculine traits,
ME too. I just got some time ago here on this site that Im too masculine or so. But you see, we can always become more well rounded. To become balanced, if you know what I mean.

and I read something online that suggested that masculine traits are mainly valuable in times of conflict while feminine traits are better in times of peace.
Id agree. Speaking of which, if I said I had an infp male IRL friend who was one of the best soldiers I knew wouldnt that mean something related to that firmness I was previously mentioning? :)

Also, in anime that I watch I see male characters with more feminine traits that I can relate to and identify with which makes me happy.
Thats it. That last phrases last idea is what counts. I have become a manual agriculture worker. Maybe there was a history of other roles before this, but this is what REALLY makes me happy - so Im into doing this, instead of perhaps what the other competences wouldve been. And Im loving it. Why, well because Im claiming ownership for my life here. FULL OWNERSHIP. :) So in a way, you and I arent that far off situation wisely from one another are we. Self improvement being the step by step goal.

But it's hard to find people in real life who are like the anime characters that I idealize. Lol.
That made me smile. I do hope you will realise that anime characters are mainly not invented, but taken or mixed from the 16types explained here on the PerC. So dont be surprised if you do find someone one day that will resemble familiarity. :)
 

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My feminity, or being a 'feminine boy', comes as far as taking steps into transgender related transition, and finding out I do respond better to estrogen than to testerone. Masculinity has never been my thing, and therefore the set binary stereotypes don't work for me. My attitude wanting to like and wear whatever makes me happy and feels like me, does not quite always fit with the mindset of most people around me and the world. Unless a certain thing becomes widely socially accepted, you are pretty much easily seen as a freak for being 'different'.

Am I taking the right steps or am I basicly a victim of a very binary close-minded world wide society?
 

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Thank you for this interesting topic and replies.

As some of you said, I find the whole binary opposition between feminine and masculine traits very reductive and outdated. The concern about "being virile" for men is just bullsh*it to me. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've never recognised in traits culturally viewed as masculine. I'm gentle, helpful, I hate conflicts... I've always been more of an intellectual and arty type, and I've always hated sports and competitiveness. I've been made fun of during my teenage years for my so-called feminine traits. I've been called "gay" many times, as if exhibiting feminine traits equaled being gay, and as if being gay was the supreme disgrace for men. People should be free to behave as they please and shouldn't have to conform to some backward cultural norm.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
There are a lot of ways to approach this topic and I think most people will have a very different take on what the question being posed here even means.

For myself I've found that I'm calm and graceful. I like to hug people and speak before acting. I did ballet as a kid and dislike talking about cars and sports. There are a lot of other traits I could name, but overall I must confess that I've never viewed these qualities as feminine or less manly in any way.
I think the classic idea of feminine vs masculine is misguided and doesn't fit reality. We're teaching our children that boys have to be tough and girls have to be sweet, which is garbage.

Of course there are differences and we should be honest about those, but there's a spectrum here and it's strange to label everything that's not on the extreme end of the spectrum as abnormal.

In short: I feel like I'm masculine in the ways that seem valid to me. I don't subscribe to the common image of what the words feminine and masculine mean because those stereotypes actively hurt people.
First off, I think that you should be proud of your traits. You sound like a real gentleman.

I think that hugs are great. I remember seeing some guys in my high school hug their friends, who weren't afraid to show affection, and seeing facebook pictures of guys who were tactile with their friends. I was a loner, but later on I yearned for those kind of relationships. Touch is calming, helps to establish strong bonds, and shows that you care.

I think that when it comes to masculine vs feminine, there is the evolutionary biological approach and the sociocultural approach. Biologically, there are certain traits that are more likely to be found in males on average and other traits more likely to be found in females. Socioculturally, cultures differ in what is considered masculine and feminine. The sociocultural approach I think is better because it takes control of who we want to be using reason and feelings instead of just going with they way we evolved. At the end of the day, we decide what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, we are free to interpret as we please, it's our ideal. Also, I theorize that now most people aren't hunting and gathering for food, masculinity and femininity has changed across most cultures. Perhaps most noticeably masculinity has changed because masculine traits are most magnified during times of conflict and war.
 
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It cool that you are open for ownership of your real self. That assist communication a great deal. I cant tell if its masculine or not, but its most certainly strenght. And firmness is what you would want to get in touch with for finding and building up quality friendships. Theres one more thing Id like to say though. Having acceptance as a goal is like playing not to lose. Its not you who needs to be accepted, based on what Ive read here about you its you who are in a position to accept/refuse. You just dont know that one, yet. But time shall unveil that one to you. 100% surely.
In terms of ownership of my real self, there is more that I could say about that but I don't want to get too much into personal things like that because there are several things about myself which I have trouble accepting, some of which are natural and some of which were caused by traumatic experiences that happened to me as a child and as a baby. Some parts of my self I feel guilty about and I am not ready to own.

What do you mean by firmness?

Also, about the acceptance thing it really is me that needs to be accepted. I'm not in a position to do the choosing. I painted a good picture of myself in my op, but I'm far less moral than how I used to be when I was a child. Some of those positive feminine traits that I mentioned that I had as a child, I no longer have due to traumatic experiences as a child and as a baby, a lot of bullying, and mental health issues that I've had as a child and that I've developed later on.

That is a culture related possibility. But just to make it clear, I have met what you are describing in other skin color families as well. Its a universal value related reflection of desires, and projections from their behalf.
Yeah, I've read that certain countries vary in how masculine and feminine they are which would effect how accepting they would be of things like expressiveness, emotionality, and non gender conforming behavior.

The way gay stuff is intrepreted is entirely wrong. First of all we are not animals, entirely. Second of all there are active and passive homosexuals. So most masculine active homosexual is still gay. So hardly relating. But what I wanted to point out is HOW gayness linked to feminity is actually defined. As its connecting being submissive, feminine and delicate to being a bitch of everyone. But are you really that? A floor mop? Having so called feminine traits isnt IMHO at all being a loser. You seem like a person with a firm set of values, principles and endurance to selfdevelop in those aspects of life. Is that submissive, hell no. Besides. To me, having soft skills as a male is actually an ideal leader, as they can manage both feels and projects themselves at the same time. Its not that easy to initiate something of value if we are hard and calculating while peoples decidion making processess are 99% emotion based. It actually requires a lot of extra skillset to admin peoples needs when all one focuses upon is competence and outcome. Especially in a professional environment. So those elements you have been told suck, might actually land you in your life social roles that will make a lot of the haters envy you. But those need firmness along the way, which maturity shall grant you. So in a way, as long as you CONTINUE to remain openminded, time shall be on your side with this. Absolutely.
When I was really young, I would sometimes always do favors for people be somewhat of a pushover but that didn't last very long. Like I said in my opening post, due to traumatic experiences and my aspergers I became narcissistic so I completely stopped being anything like a floormop, although I'm still open to compromise.

You are pretty much correct in your assessment of me. I have a firm set of values, principles, and endurance to self develop in those aspects of life. I'm not submissive anymore.

How do you know that decision making processes are 99% emotion based and what is the 1% of decision making based on? I have heard of something similar phrased differently, stating that feelings and emotions cause thoughts. Can you tell me more about how emotions effect decision making?


ME too. I just got some time ago here on this site that Im too masculine or so. But you see, we can always become more well rounded. To become balanced, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, balancing masculine and feminine traits is good. Specifically, trying to adopt positive masculine and positive feminine traits. Masculine traits aren't all bad. I'm just biased. For example, bravery, endurance, loyalty, seem like masculine traits and they are good.


Id agree. Speaking of which, if I said I had an infp male IRL friend who was one of the best soldiers I knew wouldnt that mean something related to that firmness I was previously mentioning? :)
I don't quite understand what you mean by firmness.


Thats it. That last phrases last idea is what counts. I have become a manual agriculture worker. Maybe there was a history of other roles before this, but this is what REALLY makes me happy - so Im into doing this, instead of perhaps what the other competences wouldve been. And Im loving it. Why, well because Im claiming ownership for my life here. FULL OWNERSHIP. :) So in a way, you and I arent that far off situation wisely from one another are we. Self improvement being the step by step goal.
I'm glad that you have found something that makes you happy. I think that I understand but can you describe more what you mean by claiming full ownership? Also, I would add to happiness as the goal, also self actualization.


That made me smile. I do hope you will realise that anime characters are mainly not invented, but taken or mixed from the 16types explained here on the PerC. So dont be surprised if you do find someone one day that will resemble familiarity. :)
I hope I find someone like that. But I kind of think that those kind of people are mainly found in Japan or other asian countries since anime is make in Japan and based off of asian cultures. I live in North America, although, I'm sure there are some people like that in North America somewhere.
 
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In terms of ownership of my real self, there is more that I could say about that but I don't want to get too much into personal things like that because there are several things about myself which I have trouble accepting, some of which are natural and some of which were caused by traumatic experiences that happened to me as a child and as a baby. Some parts of my self I feel guilty about and I am not ready to own.
-Fully understandable.

What do you mean by firmness?
-Decisivness.

Also, about the acceptance thing it really is me that needs to be accepted. I'm not in a position to do the choosing. I painted a good picture of myself in my op, but I'm far less moral than how I used to be when I was a child. Some of those positive feminine traits that I mentioned that I had as a child, I no longer have due to traumatic experiences as a child and as a baby, a lot of bullying, and mental health issues that I've had as a child and that I've developed later on.
-No wonder, look in what a weird world were living in today. Immorality is neutral these days.


Yeah, I've read that certain countries vary in how masculine and feminine they are which would effect how accepting they would be of things like expressiveness, emotionality, and non gender conforming behavior.
-True. Youre considering relocating.


When I was really young, I would sometimes always do favors for people be somewhat of a pushover but that didn't last very long. Like I said in my opening post, due to traumatic experiences and my aspergers I became narcissistic so I completely stopped being anything like a floormop, although I'm still open to compromise.
-It can develop into that, indeed. But what would you wanna become, is what matters most.

You are pretty much correct in your assessment of me. I have a firm set of values, principles, and endurance to self develop in those aspects of life. I'm not submissive anymore.
-I have my days too, well submitting to idiocy what they were after with you, and us. The first step of strenght is anger to allow us to exist as we are. Then, they suddenly lost. It pretty funny how amazed they become when they realize their tyranny didnt have permanent impact after all. Thats what firmness generates.

How do you know that decision making processes are 99% emotion based and what is the 1% of decision making based on? I have heard of something similar phrased differently, stating that feelings and emotions cause thoughts. Can you tell me more about how emotions effect decision making?
-Its a major theme, but my pivot points here were that very few people are in control of themselves, by being rational and acting from pure reason rather than impulsive emotion based triggers.



Yeah, balancing masculine and feminine traits is good. Specifically, trying to adopt positive masculine and positive feminine traits. Masculine traits aren't all bad. I'm just biased. For example, bravery, endurance, loyalty, seem like masculine traits and they are good.
-Hahah. What you consider masculine, to me is that firmness. Happy youre open to them.



I don't quite understand what you mean by firmness.
-Lacking any tolerance to internal hesitation regarding to morality. Like, solid instead of liquid. Fixed instead of adaptive. If you know what I mean.



I'm glad that you have found something that makes you happy. I think that I understand but can you describe more what you mean by claiming full ownership? Also, I would add to happiness as the goal, also self actualization.
-Those are things you need to figure out for yourself. Its going already very deep. Yeah, maslow is right too.



I hope I find someone like that. But I kind of think that those kind of people are mainly found in Japan or other asian countries since anime is make in Japan and based off of asian cultures. I live in North America, although, I'm sure there are some people like that in North America somewhere.
-Id use PerC for that. Lets see: Find user Fennel here on PerC. She is infp and into Anime. Maybe the two of you will click. :)

Hope youll have a pleasant stay here. See you around
 

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Discussion Starter #20
My feminity, or being a 'feminine boy', comes as far as taking steps into transgender related transition, and finding out I do respond better to estrogen than to testerone. Masculinity has never been my thing, and therefore the set binary stereotypes don't work for me. My attitude wanting to like and wear whatever makes me happy and feels like me, does not quite always fit with the mindset of most people around me and the world. Unless a certain thing becomes widely socially accepted, you are pretty much easily seen as a freak for being 'different'.

Am I taking the right steps or am I basicly a victim of a very binary close-minded world wide society?
I believe that hormones are a big part of masculinity and femininity. I know more about testeosterone, then estrogen and progesterone. I think that testosterone makes people grow more muscle, bodily and facial hair, and increases sex drive and energy. Now that I think of it, I'm probably a guy that is on the low end of testosterone levels, and I might have more levels of female hormones than the average guy. As for female hormones, I don't know exactly how they contribute to feminine traits, but it would be interesting to see if guys higher in female hormones have more feminine traits. In general, it would be interesting to look at hormone levels, brain structure, and other biological factors and see how femininity and masculinity differed in different people as these factors varied.

I find it kind of strange, given that I've thought about this more over time and have more perspective, that people are judged for what they wear. It's just clothing, something to keep you warm and covered, yet people judge others for what they wear based on gender. I guess most people are so caught up in culture and socialization, that they don't see things for what they really are. I'll admit that it is hard to take a step back, get out of yourself, your socialization, your learning, your expectations, and to judge something objectively and in a way that sees things more purely; that's the best way I can put it right now. Sigh, if only we could all be enlightened and view things in a moral way.

About your question that you posed to me, I'm not good at giving advice, but I think that you should find friends and a community where people accept you for who you are and don't judge you for what you wear, assuming that you are old enough to move to a place that is accepting.
 
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