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I don't know that we have a lot of parents on the forums, but I just kind of wanted to ask for opinions or advice in this situation. I'm a fairly private introvert, and I have an extremely extroverted child. I don't think there's anything wrong with her extroversion, in fact I'm proud of it most times, and believe it will help her a lot in the world.

The issue I tend to have is that.. well, sometimes she makes me a bit crazy. She's only four, but she's SO outgoing. I don't really know how to deal with it sometimes. When we're out in public she is loud and talkative and she tries to befriend every little child she sees. At home, I tend to try to do a lot of my own things and she almost constantly wants to do something with me.. I love her very much, but sometimes it's hard for me to sit down and try to play games with her. I've branched out a bit and tried to include her in some of my everyday tasks like cooking and cleaning. She loves helping me with laundry and stuff like that. Invariably though, her exuberance grates on my nerves. When I want quiet downtime, she wants to run and play. How do other parents deal and work with children that are so different from themselves?
 

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Are you a single mother? I think it's relevant..

Love her and if she's a pain in the ass you tell her she's a pain in the ass and that you need some time alone. Doesn't help? Love her some more...

edit: Rather, do you raise your girl alone or is there someone else that helps out? The question "Are you a single mother?" looks weird somehow... :laughing:
 
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Well, my parents are both introverts, and I am also one, but my little brother is an Extrovert. He's an ENFP. I think having each other as sibling was very important for us. Mom could withdraw with her headphones while we were in the other room playing with dolls, making up little fantasy adventures for them, or pretending our stuffed animals were real pets, or making little cars out of Construx, which we rammed together at high speed to see which ones held together the best. If either of us wanted time alone, we had our separate rooms, but most of the time I hated being alone except when I was doing my art or reading. I think that was why it was such an effective punishment to send us to our separate rooms when we were being mean. Really, it didn't happen very often. We rarely had any conflict in our home. My brother felt like an extension of me, not so much like a separate person.

Looking back on my childhood, I guess I should have predicted what my disasters would be as an adult. I accidentally put a hole in my brother's bedroom door one time when he wouldn't let me in, because I was knocking so frantically. When I went back to the old trailer, I saw where the words "Keep Out!" were still visible, where he had written them in glue stick trying to get away from me. So, yeah, I think even as an introvert, being emotionally needy (having an anxious/preoccupied attachment style?) made me more irritating than he was. I specifically remember how awful it was when my mother would go into the other room to do her laundry. I remember trying to cling to her leg, and having her pry me off. My extroverted brother, on the other hand, had an active social life with his peers, and was not so dependent on our parents. When they needed to leave us for a while, they left me alone with my great grandmother, but they sent him off to a babysitter who had other boys that he could socialize with. When family friends would come over, which didn't happen very often, my brother would play with their children while I sat at my little desk drawing, observing the adults, not interacting with anyone unless I was specifically requested to play the princess in their little plays.


So, my answer to your problem would be this: have another child and hope the second child gets along with the first.
 
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I don't know that we have a lot of parents on the forums, but I just kind of wanted to ask for opinions or advice in this situation. I'm a fairly private introvert, and I have an extremely extroverted child. I don't think there's anything wrong with her extroversion, in fact I'm proud of it most times, and believe it will help her a lot in the world.
I have a pretty similar problem. My 4 year old seems like an extrovert but she also loves going away by herself and is very capable of being alone for extended periods of time (this works for me as a very introverted introvert), and my 8 year old is definitely an introvert. He loves alone time and being by himself, and needs that. However, my 6 year old is the most social kid I have ever seen. He marches up to other parents and arranges times for him to get together at their houses, he has 50 millions friends (okay an exaggeration, but yeah there are lots) ... he wants to be out and about doing stuff ALL the time and I can't handle it. I worry that my extreme preference for being at home is holding him back a lot because it's hard for him to be 'out there' when I'm such a homebody. My husband is an ENFP but he's almost worse with staying home than I am. I feel like it's a duty to go out at least some times whereas my husband really doesn't care. He loves being around people but doesn't tend to actively seek it during his times at home.

The one thing about that constant one-on-one time they want and need is that with having 3 of them I can send the others out to be with my extrovert in shifts haha, so they get downtime and he gets company. But that won't work if you only have the one child. Could you arrange to have time where a friend (with a similar aged kid) has your daughter for a day and do a swap? That way you'd get a day off every once in a while and she'd have company and thus distraction on the swapped day and so less of the being all 'in your space' those days as well.
 
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As an extroverted daughter of an ISFJ mother (and an ISTJ father), I can tell you, I know I grated on her nerves. Thankfully there were usually neighborhood children to play with (though I'd go nuts if they weren't available)...I really hated being an only child back in the day (though looking back now I do see advantages to it).....but yes, even looking back, I remember her seeming exhausted. :tongue:
 

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Let's see - yes, I am a single mom. I do live with someone however, and he does his share in helping me, but he's not really the attention giving type (even though he's an E!), mostly because he works a lot.

I have given thought to another child, and I think it would help a lot. Not too terribly long ago I lived with a lot of extended family, and there are two other babies in that household. She loves to help take care of them, despite them being 4 and 8 months old. However, I am currently not really in a position to give her a sibling. XD

She does spend a lot of time alone - she plays outside and she's invented imaginary friends that she plays with. There don't really seem to be a lot of children nearby though. She's old enough to be in some sort of daycare, but I don't have the money for that. Perhaps I should put out some feelers and look for neighborhood kids and maybe set up play dates? I can handle being around her hyperness all the time as long as it isn't directed at me. XD
 

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I'd say my son is an extrovert, and as an introvert, my god does he get on my nerves at times! If you take him to the park - he's the "clown" making other children laugh. He gets on with everyone, and has a large group of friends. (this isn't what annoys me btw - I love it in him!) He plays football (soccer) and his energy seems to rub off on his team-mates

What annoys me is he's like it at home too. When we're home, I sometimes just want peace and quiet...to get on with my chores whilst he gets on with whatever he's doing. Oh no though...he's there - wanting to play a game, to show me something, even to just let me know he's going to the toilet!

Like you OP, I'm a single mother with an only child. I do wonder if some of it is more "I'm an only child and you're the only other one in the house so I'm just gonna talk to you" syndrome rather than Extrovertism vs introvertism, and if all parents deal with this, whether their child are the same as them or not?

If you can't afford daycare, are there any mother and baby/toddler/children groups in your area? Kids get to run around and make a stonking mess, and you get to chill out with other mothers. They saved my sanity for several years before little one went to school!

As for how I deal with it? Tell him to go clean his bedroom, to go outside and play football, to read a book etc etc. My boy is 7 though, so he's slightly more at an age where he can entertain himself. I guess it's not selfish to want some alone time some of the time....and :shocked: if it is! We're only human after all.
 

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I am an introverted parent with a very extroverted 6 year old girl. We just recently had a second baby. What I've noticed is that I am much more irritated with my oldest now that I have a second baby. Her extroversion was quirky when it was just her---me and my husband (also an introvert) would just sort of let her go on her little tangents of talking/singing/questioning. Now however, I have less patience since my time (and energy) is spread so thin between working full time, two kids and other obligations outside of work and home. I often feel drained after work because of all the interaction and when I get home I don't get enough down time because of my 6 year old constantly needing interaction, attention, affection --- And her dad feels the same way so it's hard for the both of us to get enough space and quiet time. She is so vivacious and dramatic that she completely overwhelms us at times.
The things I used to love about her like her bubbliness, now drive me up the wall. Hopefully it will pass as our family unit "gels" but it's exhausting right now! Any suggestions?
 
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