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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was late, a few times, ok every time... But why is it up to the INFJ to make me feel guilty about my lack of punctuality, she went so far as to Tut tut tut me, what am I five? I'm a grown man!
 

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So I was late, a few times, ok every time... But why is it up to the INFJ to make me feel guilty about my lack of punctuality, she went so far as to Tut tut tut me, what am I five? I'm a grown man!
Then act as one! Else she would treat you as the child you expose. It is perfectly normal to act that way when someone likes me (at least tries to), but doesn't act accordingly.
 

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INFJ Dictionary:

P:
Punctual:- a indication of an individuals integrity; commonly used as a sign of respect between two mutual parties

T:
Tut:- a metaphorical slap directed at the self or other person indicating disapproval or error of judgment
- Tut-Tut(plural):- metaphorical slaps proportionate to the number of Tuts, usually expressed in twos but in some cultures threes; an expression often used after an expected error of judgment and usually expressed in a sarcastic manner so as to alleviate frustration; a stronger example of the word Tut.

:mellow:
 

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Yeah, sorry, I'm terrible about this too. Just to explain, it feels like it's a personal insult. Like if you valued my feelings and my time you would bother to be there as agreed. Not saying that I necessarily hold this extremely strongly, but I still get offended when people waste my time, make me show up places late, are late to meet me places when I was there 15 minutes early out of respect for them, etc.

I don't get the tut, tut part. If she's being condescending, then there's no reason for that, that's just obnoxious.
 

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While being late or early can be irritating, I try to take a broader view. For one (no offense) we're talking about an ENFP here. I like it if people cut me some slack on my weirdness, I'll cut an ENFP some slack on their chronic with chronos.

"Punctuality" can be extremely different from one culture to another. My wife is Puerto Rican / Cuban. When they say something is at 3PM for instance, culturally it really means somewhere between 4 and 6 - LOL. We're a lot more lax about social punctuality in the mountains here than say when I lived up north in Connecticut.

I do get really irritated when things get off schedule but I try really hard to not let it get me too upset (even though it bugs the ever loving bujeebus out of me when things don't happen when they are supposed to - LOL)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
ok, I'm never going to be late again, I wonder how long it takes before it starts to suffocate me, maybe she'll get me to get rid of this bad bad habit. LOL :D Thank you all.
 

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I had a friend who, if he was running late, which he often was, would just change his ETA. It was nice that he was so honest, at least. That was a clever tactic.
 

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So I was late, a few times, ok every time... But why is it up to the INFJ to make me feel guilty about my lack of punctuality, she went so far as to Tut tut tut me, what am I five? I'm a grown man!
Maybe it makes her feel you don't respect her enough to show up on time. It might be causing her to feel insecure about her relationship with you.
 

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I don't get angry at someone who is late just one time. Especially if the person apologizes and I feel that the apology is sincere. Or if they are late just 5 minutes. If it is a recurring pattern of being always late only then of course I will make comments. But I am not very strong in the J of the INFJ personality. I read that INFJs are orderly and clean whereas I am able to tolerate a great deal of mess and disorder. Eventually I will always make attempts to clean and order and set things straight, but I am not really focused on it on daily basis and same applies in my approach to punctuality in others.
 

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To me, punctuality is an issue of respect. If you don't show up on time - and I don't mean five or ten minutes late - then I feel like you're telling me I'm not important to you. The thing I value most in life is the time I get to spend with the people I care about. If you're continually late, then you're depriving me of my time with you, and that can be disappointing.
 
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