[rambleonrose]

As far as I know there is not a thread for this. I have an ENFP in my life for the past year and half or so, that I have always felt very strongly. We dated about a year ago, but broke up. We're still extremely close, and frankly, I don't really know where we stand with each other being more then friends or what, but sometimes I feel as if my ENFP will love to be around me when he finds me interesting and energizing, but when it comes to me needing to recharge, he wants absolutely nothing to do with me and finds be a drag. This leads me to feel lonely and unwanted and just even more drained from over analyzing why I feel like this.

I've been wanting to talk to him about this and similar subjects for a while, though I am horrible with confrontations. I just wanted to know if there were any other INFJ's out there that have experienced something along the lines of this, and how they dealt with it.

 

[geekofalltrades]

I empathize. When I'm coming down off a whole lot of social interaction and need to recharge for a while, sometimes I'd really, really like another person around just for animal warmth. Snuggle up while watching a movie, reading books, napping, whatever; not engage in any more of that taxing social interaction, but just be close to each other.

I deal with it by ignoring it, because I don't have anyone in my life who could fill that particular niche. That's not very helpful, I know. Sometimes I find myself in really deep fantasies (strictly of the warm-and-fuzzy variety; no hanky panky) as my subconscious attempts to satisfy that desire for personal closeness.

 

[rambleonrose]

I deal with it by ignoring it, because I don't have anyone in my life who could fill that particular niche. That's not very helpful, I know. Sometimes I find myself in really deep fantasies (strictly of the warm-and-fuzzy variety; no hanky panky) as my subconscious attempts to satisfy that desire for personal closeness.

I used to be able to do that, before I had felt the feeling of personal closeness. Now I can't even fantasize to satisfy my desire for it. It kills me a little inside to know that I could have that If I just knew how to.

 

[geekofalltrades]

Yeah, I used to have that closeness on demand, too. That was nearly four years ago now. It sucks, but it gets easier. I keep the faith: there's bound to be someone out there even for a cynical bastard like me.

 

[rambleonrose]

Well thank you geekofalltrades, it makes me feel a little bit better to know that someone else feels this way too, and also feels hope for the future, something that I seem to lack a bit. And you're right, there's so many people in the world, there must be one that won't mind laying down next to me when I'm all lonely and desire body warmth